This is gonna be fun!
by TwistedHilarity
Summary: [Complete] Award Winner. Inuyasha's prayer beads have broken. What will Inuyasha and Miroku do now with their women? RomanticSexual comedy for BOTH InuKag and MirSan. Romance, fluff, sex, LOTS of swearing. Rated for extreme language, Lemons.
1. Ch 1 Which Way did She Go?

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any profit from Inuyasha, in any media.

**Story details: Alternate plotline, time setting is before the jewel is whole. It's rated for bad language, risque language, more bad language (Inuyasha's in a bad mood), and citrus. For those interested, a version with more citrus in it is at AFF net and MediaMiner, under the same author name: szaugglaughs. You have to remember to bump up the maturity rating to the highest, however, to search by title. **

A/N WOW! How exciting! I have just been informed that this sucker won some awards! Currently, as it stands now, the story got...

IYFanguild 3rd Quarter Best Comedy, Fedual Association Jan 2007 Best Humorous Fiction, and Best Inuyasha/Kagome Romance, and Best in-character Inuyasha.

Um, wow! I honestly am having a hard time believing that that many people liked it that much, but I wanted to say...thanks everyone! Those who voted and those who have reviewed and just...everyone! Kinda overwhelmed and doing a little neato dance here. Gimme a sec. Okay, I'm back now. Ahem...onto the regularly scheduled story, for all of you who were just trying to read this thing in the first place!!!

For those who haven't read this, here's the usual spiel. This is intended solely as a humorous, romantic (sexy), fluff piece…with swearing. There will be lemons, oh yes indeed, but, well, just view the chapter numbers as indicative of the hentai level…it increases as it goes, heh.

Reviews are welcome.

**Chapter One: Which Way Did She Go?**

Sango and Kirara flew quickly over the quiet battlefield towards Kagome. Standing on a small knoll overlooking the valley, the schoolgirl was already starting to relax, and Sango could see her chatting with Shippou as she waited for them.

Don't relax yet, Kagome, she thought anxiously. I don't think we're done with battles for the day.

Constantly glancing back over her shoulder to gauge Miroku and Inuyasha's progress, Sango bit her lip and prayed under her breath for Kirara to go faster. There was so little time! How long could Miroku postpone Inuyasha's return, after all, without tipping him off? Three minutes? Five? Ten was the most she could reasonably expect, she was sure. The hanyou wasn't exactly the sharpest rock in the field, but he wasn't the dullest, either. He'd figure out something was going on if Miroku overplayed his hand.

If only they could have foreseen what was going to happen, but there'd been no warning. No omens, no foreboding aura surrounding their hearts, not even grim weather to give them some foreshadowing of events to come. Actually, the entire thing had started off rather…boring. One could almost call it dull and routine, for their group, at least.

A nearby youkai had acquired a shard, becoming a minor nuisance that simply needed to be put out of its misery before it did too much damage. So they'd battled the ridiculous thing, defeated it in less time than it took to bathe, and retrieved the shard. The aftermath, however, was turning out to be a lot more than they'd bargained for. Such an enormous loss from such a small battle; sometimes she wondered if the fates had something against them.

She could still see it in her head. Inuyasha charging in wildly at the same moment Kagome sent her arrow flying. He'd had to dodge out of the way to avoid being purified himself, much to his loudly expressed disgust. Normally, they would have expected a pissed off half-demon to start exchanging insults with Kagome on her archery skill, her intelligence, and possibly her parentage before the tirade ended with a spectacular bang when Inuyasha's face hit the ground.

But not today.

As Inuyasha had flung himself out of the way, Miroku and Sango had both noticed Kagome's arrow pause as it almost grazed Inuyasha's face, a small shower of bright sparks spitting out from him immediately after it passed. It wasn't until after the demon was already dead and Inuyasha was flashing his post ass-kicking grin that Miroku realized the beads of subjugation were nowhere to be seen. Suggesting in a hurried whisper that Sango might want to go warn Kagome, Miroku volunteered to stay behind and see what he could do to delay Inuyasha. So far, the one piece of luck they'd had was that the hanyou hadn't noticed his necklace's absence. She hoped ferverently that he would remain ignorant long enough to give Kagome a good head start. If Kagome could put some distance between them, give Inuyasha some time to come to terms with his new freedom before he and his mouth went off half-cocked, they might be able to get through this without complete estrangement, or worse, between the couple. She hoped.

xxxxxxx

Inuyasha growled as Miroku called for him to wait...again. He spun around and pointed a clawed finger at the Monk's face.

"What the hell is your problem, Houshi? That's the fourth time you've wanted to stop for some dumb reason that doesn't even make any sense. What is it this time, a freakin' cloud the shape of Sesshoumaru's head? Crap, why don't you just shut the hell up already? We need to get back to Kagome." He turned and continued stomping back up the slope to Kagome's scent. Idiot monk. What the hell was wrong with him today? He growled low in irritation and shook his head to get his hair out of his face. Stupid wind. Hair swirled into his eyes again and he growled louder, getting it tangled in his claws as he tried to shove it out of the way.

"Goddammit! Fucking long hair...shut the hell up, Miroku!" He yelled as he heard a snicker from behind, right before he tripped ignominiously and fell on his face. He growled and swore, trying to free his claws, his hair, and his face from the tangled mess they made together on the ground. When he finally managed to flump his hair out the way and lifted his face up from the dirt, he noticed something bright and small lying inches from his nose. He stared at it. There was something familiar about the color...

"Where have I seen that..."

"Well, we'd better be going before the women give up on us," An overly-bright Miroku chirped, grabbing Inuyasha's arm and forcefully helping him up. "Let's join the ladies, shall we?"

He tried ineffectively to pull Inuyasha along, in the wrong direction no less, until Inuyasha yanked his arm free and crouched low to stare down at what looked like a tiny bead. Miroku continued nattering on in the background, getting on his nerves, so he reached over and gave him a good shove to knock him on his ass. He couldn't resist looking over briefly to see the Houshi laying flat on his back. He smirked once and looked back to the bead. It looked so familiar. He studied it for a bit, picking it up. Hmmmm. Rubbing it between his fingers, he brought it close to his nose and inhaled. Slick and smooth, and it smelled…like him? His eyes widened and he suddenly patted his chest. The beads! He looked down, and for the first time in over a year, he didn't see that tooth and bead pain-in-the-ass hanging around his neck. He pulled the neckline of his suikan out and checked inside, just to be sure. Then he sat back on his heels and stared blankly into the air.

"It's gone." He said softly. He smiled so widely that his fangs gleamed. "That goddamn necklace is finally gone! Hah!" Miroku, who had managed to regain his feet, saw Inuyasha's eyes begin to gleam eerily. He backed up a few steps from the hanyou.

"Eh, Inuyasha? Are you well? Inuyasha?" Inuyasha looked at him with that large, fang filled grin and Miroku gripped his staff tightly. Had they all been mistaken about Inuyasha's maturing conscience? Would he go after the jewel shards now that he had nothing to constrain him?

Inuyasha looked up the hill, then stood and started to walk quickly toward it, chuckling low and deep.

"Heh, try and 'osuwari' me now, Kagome." He gloated. He reared back as Miroku passed him and stood in his path, holding his staff cross-bodied and ready.

"I will not let you take Kagome's shards, Inuyasha."

Inuysasha's eyebrows rose in surprise, " Feh, what are you prattling on about now, Monk? Why the hell would I want the jewel when it ain't even finished yet? Now get out of my way, I've got somethin' I need to do..." Miroku lowered the staff slightly but didn't move.

"If you aren't going after the shards, what are you up to, Inuyasha?" Inuyasha looked at him.

"Are you an idiot or somethin'? The stupid prayer beads broke and now Kagome can't SIT me anymore. What do you think I'm gonna do?" Miroku's cheeks turned red and he cleared his throat nervously, lowering the staff and looking up at the sky as he scratched at the back of his neck with one hand.

"Ahem, well, yes. I can see how you might want to...now that she won't... eh, hmmmm. Why don't you just, um, go on ahead then..." Inuyasha glanced at him a moment and then snorted. Weird. As he passed him, however, he could hear Miroku muttering.

"Sango is going to kill me. But how can a man stand in the way in a situation like this? Sango is going to disembowel me and then kill me. But he's never had the woman he…he's likely never had any woman. Sango is going to-"

Inuyasha shook his head and kept walking, Miroku's words echoing in his brain. Situation like this? Had a woman? What the hell did that idiot monk think he was gonna...

His cheeks flamed and he growled, "Why that Stupid Hentai Monk, as if I'd pull that sort of shit with Kagome." He grumbled and kicked a rock in front of him irritably. "She'd kick my ass, anyway, with that stupid...Osuwari..." He stopped. Honestly, he'd been thinking of just teasing the shit out of her for the next few days: taking all her food, tossing her stupid bike up a tree, dumping her in a cold pond, giving her a good scare, maybe even pounding on Shippou a bit. But now, that stupid lecherous monk has his thoughts going in another direction.

Was there another kind of fun he could have with her now? Not that he would, really. It's not like he thought about that when he thought of her. Not much, anyway.

Oh, you are such a liar, said his conscience.

Shut up.

What if he did decide to, well, do something? She couldn't do anything about it, not now. He could touch her hair, or her face, or her lips or… What would happen if he touched her? What if she liked it? What would it be like now that she couldn't pound him face first into the ground when she didn't like it? He continued walking, wondering. It had been so long since he'd thought about what he'd do without the beads. Originally, he'd just been so pissed that violence and pain played a large role in his fantasies of freedom. But looking back, he had a hard time remembering what it had been like to feel that way about Kagome. Wanting to hurt her, to really hurt her? It made him cringe just to think about it. And now, now that he was actually free from that necklace…what should he do? Miroku's voice popped into his head again, had a woman.

"Fucking pervert." He mumbled, as his mind slowly worked on something he hadn't thought about in over a year, his cheeks flushing red periodically as he went.

When he crested the hill where Kagome's scent had been, he saw Sango. Shippou, and Kirara standing with their backs to him, looking at the far woods. He could smell Kagome nearby, but a quick glance around didn't spot her. "Oi, Sango. Where's Kagome?"

She gave a startled jump and turned quickly to face him. He heard her mutter sarcastically "Thanks a lot for the stall, Houshi." She raised her voice. "Oh, she's just going ahead. We can meet her back at Kaede-sama's."

"You let her go on alone, by herself, with all the jewel shards? " He asked incredulously. "What were you thinking, you idiot?!" He started sniffing the air for her, but Sango continued talking, breaking his concentration.

"Really, she's fine, Inuyasha." She laughed nervously. "She just wanted to be alone. Kagome left her backpack here with some ramen for you, though! She knows all that fighting usually makes you hungry." His ears perked up. Ramen?

Except, Kagome was alone. His eyes narrowed as he looked at Sango. Something didn't smell right here. He tried to think of what could be going on. Nothing made sense about this, and frankly it was starting to make his head hurt.

"I don't know what the hell is up with you two, Sango, but you and Miroku really need to stop acting so weird. Feh, I'm going to go get Kagome. And don't eat my ramen!" He turned to go only to hear Shippou pipe up from behind Sango.

"They sent Kagome ahead so you wouldn't go after her without your subjugation necklace, Inuyasha. So, you better leave her alone or I'll come after you!"

Inuyasha looked at the little kitsune before switching his gaze to Sango, seeing her flush and smile guiltily. They all thought he was going to hurt Kagome? They thought they had to protect her from him? And Kagome went along with it?!

Doesn't she trust me?

He dealt with the momentary feeling of hurt like he usually did: he got pissed off. Why the hell would she say she trusts me if she doesn't trust me! If you trust someone then you should keep doing it until, well, until they did something that made you stop! And he hadn't done anything! Not fucking yet, anyway! He glared at Shippou.

"I'd like to see you try to come after me, you stupid little runt. And as for you, Sango-" He huffed angrily, trying to think of something, "You can tell Miroku that when I find Kagome, I'll- I'll do whatever the hell I want to and there's not a damn thing you can do about it! We'll see you back at Kaede's when we're done. Hmmph." He turned away and sprinted off after her scent, into the woods. In the silence left behind, Sango's voice could be heard calling angrily for Miroku.

xxxxxxx

Kagome walked quickly through the woods, panting slightly and holding her side. She'd panicked in the first few minutes after Sango had told her about the prayer beads, but soon after she'd sprinted into the shadows of the trees, she'd had to slow down and walk. Jeesh, I'm getting out of shape, she thought. Walking down the path through the forest was giving her time to think, however. Should she have run away? She shook her head at herself. It was just...he could be so rough. She could just imagine him messing with her like a child plays with a toy. And what could she do about it? She'd almost never had to be around him when she couldn't control him.

She stopped as that thought really penetrated. Did she trust him so little that she needed that control? "You're such a coward, Kagome." she muttered out loud.

She DID trust him. She knew he wouldn't really hurt her. But, it was just… She really didn't want to deal with a pissed off Inuyasha right now. If she could avoid him for a little bit, just until he'd gotten to the point where he wasn't irritated with all the osuwari's he'd had. She winced slightly, thinking about the week before. She'd been so furious she'd had him in a 5 foot hole before she'd finished with him. Maybe, she admitted to herself, just maybe she abused that ring of beads sometimes. So, maybe it would be best if she went through the well when she got to Kaede's and stayed home for a week or so until he'd had a chance to calm down and she could apologize. He usually didn't go through the well if he was too irritated with her, so hopefully…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud rustling in the woods behind her and she whirled around. The sound was approaching rapidly, and it had to be something large to make that much noise. She bit her lip nervously, realizing just how far she'd managed to get from the others in a relatively short time. She was all alone.

Fool, she thought. Now look what your stupidity has gotten you into. Better to be with an irate Inuyasha than in this dim forest with a bear or wildcat or even an evil youkai drawing nearer.

"Oh Inuyasha, I hope that's you and not something else."


	2. Ch 2 Through the Woods

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, any of the characters from Inuyasha, don't make any money off of them, yada yada yada.**

**A/N Thanks for the Reviews, as always!!**

Chapter 2 - Through the Woods

"Oh Inuyasha, I hope that's you and not something else." Kagome thought as she quickly pulled her bow off her shoulder and nocked an arrow, facing the direction of the sound. She held it taut, her lips thinned in concentration as she scanned for whatever was coming. When Inuyasha popped through the brush, she was so relieved she stood there simply letting out her breath for a moment, and then let the bow droop. Thank the Gods.

Inusyasha stopped in surprise seeing her aiming the weapon at him. She was going to _shoot _him! He could smell the scent of her fear in the air. So, not only did she fear him but she was going to shoot him! How could she…did she have so little faith in him? How could she do that? He jumped over to her and yanked the bow out of her surprised hands, flinging so violently it flew over the treetops.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, aiming that that thing at me! I should kick your ass, Kagome! Running out here alone like an idiot, and now trying to shoot me? You are so...stupid!" She responded on instinct.

Her eyes narrowed and she spit out, "Osuwari!" And nothing happened. Oh shit, she thought, and took a nervous step back. Inuyasha growled.

"Sorry, that don't work anymore." he grinned as big and as menacing as he could muster. " So whatya gonna do now, eh, Kagome? No prayer beads, no bow and arrow, no way to beat the shit out of me like you usually do, Stooopid. " He taunted.

She stood perfectly still and stared at him, eyes wide. He could smell her so clearly this close. She was nervous, shocked, angry...but not scared anymore. Why not? He was bigger and stronger than her, he was deliberately standing mere inches away. Why wasn't she frightened of him now that she had no power over him? What the hell was wrong with her? Everyone ELSE was scared of him and what he might do, why wasn't she, especially when he had a perfectly good reason to be seeking revenge? How the hell was he supposed to get rid of his mad when he couldn't even give her a good scare, let alone kick her ass?

He growled, trying to figure out what to do. Nothing came to mind. Hell. Shit, shit, shit. Why couldn't he think of something? Crap. He'd had some great ideas just a few moments before, where the hell did they all go? Dammit all to hell, anyway. Well, fine then. He'd think of something later, hah, so there, stupid brain.

"Feh. C'mon Kagome, let's just get to Kaede's and meet everyone there." She stood frozen, still looking at him warily. "What? You think I'm gonna hurt you or somethin'? Get on and let's go!" Kagome sighed and smiled slowly. She was an idiot, thinking that Inuyasha would change, even with the necklace gone. She felt rather silly to have been so worried and rubbed his ear briefly as she got on. Fortunately for her peace of mind, she couldn't see into the mind of the hanyou as they bounded back towards their friends.

_As if I could hurt you…but I can make sure you're really, really sorry for abusing those damn beads all the time. Just wait._

xxxxx

Shippou, Sango, and Kirara walked into Inuyasha's Forest followed by a limping Miroku who covertly rubbed the area where Sango had, literally, kicked his ass. The deeper then went into the forest, the more they found themselves scanning the thick undergrowth around them for Inuyasha and Kagome.

Miroku finally spoke. "I'm sure they're fine, Sango."

She grunted. "I know." He waited for her to say more before he went on tentatively.

"They probably just went on ahead and-"

"I know!" she cut him off, biting her lip as she scanned the forest, trying to get a glimpse of something that would let her know everything was all right. "I know that the beads are unlikely to bring about any major changes in him, it's just that…"

"We persuaded Kagome go off on her own, and now you're worried that she might have gotten into trouble, yes?" Miroku asked gently.

She nodded slowly, "Hai."

"I'm sure she's fine, Sango. Truly. I don't sense any of her energies having been expended nearbye. And…Shippou, do you smell any blood?" Shippou sighed from his spot on top of Kirara.

"No, there's no blood. Although it smelled like Inuyasha was pretty pissed back there." He whined plaintively. "When will we be to Kaede's?" Miroku and Sango looked at each other and then back at Shippou.

"You smelled Inuyasha nearbye?" Miroku asked.

"Yeah, he and Kagome's scent was all over the place before that last curve. Wow, did he smell mad. Well, mad and a little smug, you know, like when he thinks he's getting away with something?" Miroku's eyes widened slightly.

"Like when he thinks he's sneaking into the well without anyone noticing?" asked Sango.

"Yeah. It always smelled like this afterwards. What do you think he was doing?"

Miroku and Sango looked at each other again. Sango spoke first.

"You don't think Inuyasha did something to Kagome-chan -?" she asked. Miroku smiled and waved his hands in front of him quickly as he shook his head.

"Oh no, no, no. I'm sure Inuyasha would never do such a thing. Truly, how could you even think that he would have designs of that nature?" She looked at him sharply and beads of sweat started appearing on his forehead.

"Designs of _that nature_? What exactly are you thinking he _did_?" Sango asked.

"My, isn't it warm here in the forest." Miroku said faintly. "We should really be going. We wouldn't want to miss Inuyasha and Kagome, now would we?"

"What's going on, Houshi?" She asked, stepping forward menacingly. "Do you know something you aren't telling us?" His eyes grew large and innocent.

"I'm sorry, but what could you possibly mean, Sango?"

"Oh, now I know you know something. What is it? What are you hiding?" He sweat a bit more, looking around as though seeking inspiration or salvation.

"uh, Inuyasha might have mentioned…that is." He sighed in defeat. "I think Inuyasha was going to profess his feelings for Kagome."

"_Just_ profess his feeling?" Sango asked skeptically.

"He might have implied that he was going to pursue certain things that the necklace would have prevented, before." Miroku said with a small apologetic smile.

"AND YOU LET HIM GO!" Miroku yelped and failed to dodge the roundhouse punch that knocked him into a bramble. "You stupid Hentai! How could you not stop him!" she asked in outrage as she glared at him.

He extricated himself from bramble, trying not to tear his robes and managing to look like offended dignity personified. "How could I stop him, Sango?" He asked in a reasonable tone that had her blowing out a frustrated breath. He rubbed his jaw for a moment. Boy, but Sango could really throw a punch. "What, exactly, would you have me do?" He went on, "I won't suck him into the wind tunnel, and neither of us are exactly a match for him without Kagome, not unless we seriously hurt him. What should I have done? "

Sango stared at him for a moment before turning away from him, fists clenching.

"It just feels wrong. What if he attacks her, Houshi? What if he actually hurts her?"

Miroku shook his head. "Sango, do you really think he would?" He asked, implying that she knew better. "As rude as he is, we all know Inuyasha worships Kagome. He may yell at her, but he would never hurt her. You know him well enough to realize that." She nodded, still pissed off but unable to deny what he said.

"I know." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm down. "I simply worry that this time it might be different. I've never seen him so irritated when Kagome didn't still have some way to defend herself." She sighed deeply again and stared down the path they were traveling. "I hope she's all right." Miroku walked up to stand behind her and took her hand gently.

"She'll be fine, Sango." He said softly, his thumb rubbing the palm of her hand. "We can keep an eye out for them, but I bet they're at Kaede's right now, waiting for us, safe and sound." She nodded, then yanked her hand out of his, spun around and slapped him smartly.

"Ow! What was that for…I didn't do anything!" He said plaintively, rubbing his cheek. She smirked and nodded with her head towards his other hand, which was still suspended halfway in the air where it had been about to palm her ass. He turned red while she shook out the sting in her hand with some satisfaction.

"Inuyasha isn't the only one I know really well, Houshi." She said. Then turned and walked back down the path with the rest of the group trailing after her.


	3. Ch 3 Maybe I Shouldn't Have

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Inuyasha, any of the characters from Inuyasha, don't make any money off of them**

**A/N Love the reviews, woo hoo! Hope you enjoy the new chapter.**

Chapter 3 - Maybe I shouldn't have done that?

When the group arrived at Kaede's a little before sunset, Sango was relieved to find Kagome and Inuyasha there, just as Miroku had predicted. She pulled Kagome aside almost immediately to make sure everything was well.

"It's fine, Sango." Kagome replied to the questioning. "Inuyasha came roaring along, yelled at me for a minute, and then everything was back to normal. Well, except for the fact that I needed to get a new bow." At Sango's raised eyebrow, she just shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Kaede took care of it. Truly, it's been just a lot of worry for nothing."

Sango felt both chagrined and not a little guilty to have doubted Inuyasha's intentions. So much so that when Shippou and Inuyasha started going at each other later that evening, she took the kit off their hands to go play outside by way of apology. Miroku, Inuyasha, and Kagome decided to lounge inside and rest, although it wasn't long before Kagome started to feel restless. She just didn't feel like being a couch potato tonight. Excusing herself to go look at the stars, she turned to Inuyasha.

"Would you like to join me, Inuyasha?"

"As if." he said in a bored voice.

She shook her head at him, humphed, and walked off stiffly. Stupid Inuyasha, she thought, annoyed. He couldn't try being nice once in a while, or do something with her _other_ than search for the jewel shards? How in the world could I fall in love with such a rude, insensitive jerk?

Inuyasha waited only moments after Kagome left before sneaking off after her. "I-I gotta go do somethin'" he muttered to Miroku, while the monk smirked at him.

"Of course, Inuyasha." Miroku replied smoothly, grinning to himself.

Inuyasha followed behind Kagome silently, hearing her muttering to herself as she walked. She wandered away from the village and over to Inuyasha's Forest…still weird to have a forest named after himself, what were they thinking? And what the hell was _she_ thinking, going off into the forest alone? She'd had demons and humans try to eat her, kill her, kidnap her, attack her, and somehow she thought it was all right to go off all by herself?

"Kagome, I swear, you need a keeper." He mumbled and then flattened to the ground when she heard him and glanced back, scanning the area for the strange sound. She shrugged as she saw nothing, and continued on her walk. Jeez, woman, you are a menace, he thought. I can't believe you didn't get yourself killed a thousand times over before you had me around. How oblivious can you be?

He saw her finally climb down a slope to end up at one of the closest pools to the village, a place she often used to bathe in. Leaning forward, she dipped her fingers into the inky water, disturbing the glassy surface, then shivered and sat back. She moved slightly away from the water's edge, and turned, facing Inuyasha. He kept very still. He definitely didn't want to give away his hiding spot yet.

"Brrrr, too cold tonight for it, I think." He heard her murmur. Inuyasha saw her leaning back on her hands, looking at the sky. Watching her intently, he noticed the smooth arch of her neck as it flowed into the shadowy depths of her top, her breasts adding a fascinating softness to her profile as his eyes were drawn down the lines of her body. He swallowed slightly. She drew up her knees to rest her feet on the ground, still leaning back, and her skirt slid down towards body, revealing a large swath of pale skin. Her thighs were pearly and smooth in the dim moonlight, curving softly. His eyes grew wide, staring at them. Maybe he could sneak up and touch…

No! No, this was _not_ why he had followed her out here! He was _not_ going to think about Kagome this way. No way. This wasn't part of the plan at all, so he was just going to shove it aside and get on with, with what was important. Revenge. It was the perfect time to get a little revenge, and he was not going to let this stupid, sudden fascination with Kagome and her body, and her smell and…

Don't even think about using sex to get revenge on Kagome, said his conscience.

_I wasn't going to!_

Really? You weren't going to go over and slide your hand up her thigh or reach around and squeeze her bottom or…

Inuyasha was panting slightly and swallowed at the saliva that had pooled in his mouth. _No, I wasn't, goddammit! What the hell is wrong with you?_

Just checking, his conscience sighed. Go ahead then. Carry on.

_I was going to before you started butting in, asshole!_

Fucking, stupid, dumbass… he wasn't going to let it distract him. C'mon, Inuyasha, think, you baka. No, not about that! He thought, starting to look at her thighs again. He looked at the water, hoping for both distraction and inspiration, and found his eyes drawn back to Kagome. Wait, Kagome, and the water. Kagome and the _cold_ water.

"Heh." He leapt down to the pool, then leapt once more to land right beside her.

Kaagome's head jerked up and a surprised "What?" left her as he scooped her up in his arms. "Inuyasha, what do you think you're doing?" she exclaimed, shoving at him. "You scared me to death!" He grinned down at her. "Oh, fine, ha ha, you got me, now put me down!"

Inuyasha chuckled and held on tightly. She glared, frowning, still ineffectually pushing at his chest.

"Inuyasha, what are you thinking?" She asked suspiciously.

"What am I thinkin'? Heh…I think you should…" He leapt in the air over the small pond, "…SIT." And he dropped her. Just before he landed lightly on the other side of the pool, he heard her screech and a loud splash as she hit the water butt first. She sputtered to the surface, pushing her wet hair out of her eyes and standing waist deep in the pool, and he chortled to himself. Oh, this was gonna be so much FUN! He thought as he leapt into the trees, pretending to leave. It'd serve her right if he did just leave her there, but knowing her, she'd find _some _way to get into trouble, the little idiot. He crept behind her as she made her way back to the village, listened as she swore the whole time. Wow, I didn't know Kagome even _knew_ some of those words, he thought, impressed. Honestly, you just had to admire a good swear.

When she got to the edge of the forest, he snuck past her so that he was already sitting nonchalantly outside by a campfire with the others by the time Kagome squelched her way back. Good thing it's summer, Inuyasha thought, or she'd be blue by now. He'd told Sango and Miroku that Kagome'd wanted a moment of privacy before she came back, so they both gave him a glare as they saw the condition of Kagome in her wet uniform, holding soggy socks and dripping shoes in her hands.

"Privacy, my ass" Sango muttered.

"What a waste of a private moment." murmured Miroku.

Inuyasha barely registered them as he noticed Kagome's blouse for the first time. The water had made the fabric almost translucent and it might as well have been her skin, it was stuck so closely to her breasts. He could see the outline of some type of undergarment that seemed to be emphasizing just where her chest was, rather than covering it up. He couldn't take his eyes off them.

He gulped. No! Don't look, don't look, don't look, you hentai! He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. Think of something else, he told himself, uh, trees, grass, demons, blood, dirt, water, bathing, ponds…aaagh, not helping! His eyes popped open when he felt something poke him in the nose.

"YOU!" She had an angry finger in his face. "You big, dumb, stupid, childish jerk! Don't you ever throw me in a pond again, you dumb dog!" Lust swung to irritation in a hearbeat. He sneered.

"I'll throw you in a pond if I want to. What're ya gonna do about it, Ka-go-me?" He taunted.

"oooooh!" She growled, and slapped him hard in the face.

"Heh, didn't hurt." He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at her.

She screamed in frustration, dropped her socks and shoes, balled up her fist and punched him right in the nose. His face moved about an inch and he smiled at her. "Heh, still didn't hurt. You're just a puny little girl, ha."

"PUNY? I'll show you puny, you stupid…" She swung her leg back and kicked him for all she was worth. Inuyasha sat there a moment in shock, and then slowly fell over backwards, wretching, his hands cupping his privates desperately. Miroku murmured from across the way.

"Aaaah, I believe this one goes to Kagome."

Shippou nodded, his little hands involuntarily protecting his own family jewels as well.

Kagome ignored Miroku, gloating over Inuyasha. "Ha, who's puny now, Inuyasha!" He groaned and rolled over onto his hands and knees, glaring up at her weakly.

"Kagome, when I get done with you-" He wretched again and Kagome suddenly stepped back. Ooooh, crap.

What the heck do I do now, she thought nervously. She watched him try to push himself up off the ground only to end in a painful looking faceplant. Man, she was in serious trouble. She scanned around the camp quickly, looking for safety. Her eyes paused at her newly acquired bow and arrows, but she rejected the thought immediately. She didn't want to _kill_ Inuyasha, she just wanted to keep him away until he calmed down.

By now, Inuyasha was growling constantly. When he suddenly managed to push himself up to a kneeling position, she jumped away from him with a little 'eek' of fright and finally decided for a limited safety. A little distance, just like before, that was all she needed. Yeah, that might work…and the fact that he probably wouldn't pull anything in front of her mom. She turned and started sprinting for the well, water drops flying out behind her.

Miroku yelled out behind her, "We'll do our best to help out, Kagome-sama!"


	4. Ch 4 Next to the Well

**Disclaimer: don't own Inuyasha, the characters, the manga, the anime, etc….**

**A/N thanks for the reviews, guys, they've been great!!**

Chapter 4 – Next to the Well

Inuyasha finally stopped feeling like he was going throw up or pass out and stood up shakily. "I am gonna make her wish she was never born, I swear." He growled out.

Miroku tut-tutted gently, "Now, Inuyasha, remember, Kagome-sama means well-"

"Means well!" Inuyasha exploded. "Kicking me _there_ 'means well?' Are you retarded or somethin'?" He growled again. When he caught up her with, he was gonna-

"Truly, Inuyasha, Kagome-sama-" Miroku stopped abruptly as Inuyasha held up his clawed hand inches from Miroku's face and cracked his knuckles.

"Kagome… what, Houshi?"

Miroku smiled brightly and started to sweat.

"Eh, Kagome-sama, eh…went that way." He finished weakly, pointing to the well. Inuyasha humphed under his breath,

"I knew that, stupid. What, you think my nose stopped workin'?" Then he bounded off quickly, if stiffly, towards the well.

"Some help you were, Miroku." Shippou said glumly. "What's Inuyasha gonna to do to Kagome when he finds her, anyway? I bet he hits her in the head, that's what he always does to me." Miroku smiled, then nervously eyed Sango, who was obviously thinking of pounding him for his lackluster defense of Kagome.

"Oh, I'm sure they'll just yell and blow off steam like normal. They're too fond of each other to actually do any damage." He said, sounding confident.

"Yeah?" asked Shippou. "But, what do they do when they get to the 'Osuwari' part of the fight?" He wondered. Miroku shrugged and reddened slightly.

"I'm certain they'll be fine. Really. They'll be fine."

xxxxxx

Inuyasha leapt up to Kagome's window, slammed it open, and jumped inside, ready to lay into her. Except she wasn't there. Where the hell is she? I know she came through the well, I can smell her all over.

"Kagome, where the hell are you!" He yelled. His ears picked up her squeak of surprise from downstairs. "Ha, that's where you're hiding!" He muttered as he leapt out the door and into the hallway. He heard the front door slam and footsteps running back towards the well as he started bounding down the stairs. Scrambling angrily towards the front door, he noted her family's absence.

No one to hide behind tonight, huh, Kagome? He thought smugly. He smacked the door open and made it to the well in seconds, his leg over the edge to jump in after her, when he realized something was off. He stopped. Thinking when he was this pissed wasn't exactly easy…what was wrong? He sniffed the air. That was it, the smell in here wasn't as strong as it had been a few seconds ago outside the well. She hadn't come back in. Where was she hiding? He carefully drew his leg back from the well's edge and silently made his way out of the well house, leaping lightly onto the roof to get a better view. He caught her scent around the back and crept quietly over the roof until he was directly over that lovely smell that signified Kagome. He smiled in anticipation and jumped down, yelling out as he went.

"GOTCHA!"

Kagome screamed and jumped a foot as he landed beside her, trapping her between him and the wooden walls of the well house. She slapped him reflexively.

"Don't DO that! You scared me half to death!"

He rubbed his cheek and growled. "Dammit all to hell, Kagome! Why do you keep _hittin_' me!"

"Because you deserve it, you big jerk!" she sputtered.

"Deserve it? Bullshit!"

She started glaring at him, riding the adrenaline high. "You scared me, what do you expect? And you dumped me in a pond!! You deserve a lot more than a little smack in the face!"

His eyes narrowed down to slits. "Oh, you had that pond coming, Kagome. All that shit you put me through? The pond was nothin' compared to what I should be doing after all the pain you dealt out, wench."

"I thought 'it didn't hurt.' Isn't that what you said?" She taunted.

"The slapping, not the damn beads!"

"Well, it's not like I can do anything about it now, is it, you baka! I can't exactly kiss it all better!"

Inuyasha froze, the image of Kagome _trying_ to kiss it better popping into his head. Especially considering what she'd just injured on the other side of the well…

"No, I- You wouldn't-" His gaze dropped to her chest for a moment and then almost frantically back up at her face. He turned his back on her quickly. Crossing his arms huffily he snorted his usual "feh." Completely taken by surprise by his sudden discomfiture, she giggled and he rounded on her.

"What are you laughin' at, dummy? Think it's funny to hit me in the face? And it _still _didn't hurt. You hit like a girl!" He glared at her.

"Of course I hit like a girl, Idiot! I _am_ a girl." He kept glaring.

"A weak, ugly girl who can't throw a punch."

"Weak? _Ugly_! You –" She tried to bring up her foot up and kick him in the groin again, but he turned and she hit his thigh instead. She stepped away and her back hit the wall behind her. "Uh oh."

His eyes flashed and he looked at her in angry shock, taking a step closer so that his face and body were mere inches from hers. "Did you just try to kick me _again? _" he ground out.

"It's your fault! If you hadn't insulted me…"

He stepped back, his clawed hands going up for a moment as though he'd like to wring her neck, before he clenched them in frustration and punched the wall next to her head. "So what! You tried to do it again! I can't believe you keep doin' this shit, you stupid idiot! What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you realize how easily I could kick your ass right now? I- I-" He was so angry he couldn't speak.

After a small jump of surprise from his hitting the wall, Kagome essentially ignored his outburst and continued to glare at him as though _he_ was the one in the wrong. She was such an stubborn, idiotic, stupid…

Kagome hmphed angrily and then shoved at the barrier his arm made, just to be contrary. If she wanted to leave, then _he_ should have to move: she shouldn't be the one who had to go around _him._ When it wouldn't budge, she slapped it once in frustration and turned to go around the other side of him.

"Oh no you don't, Kagome. Don't even think about leaving. We're not done yet. Not even close." He grabbed her shoulders and shook her sharply, only to have her glare even more fiercely up at him…and try to knee him in the groin again.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?! You think you're gonna get to hit me down there _twice? _Crap, Kagome, you are really asking for it!" Goddamit! What the hell did it take to make her realize that HE was the one in control now! He was the one with the power; he was the one who could make her do whatever he wanted. So why the hell wasn't she backing down like every other damn human he'd ever met, before that stupid necklace had effectively neutered him? If it wasn't Kagome, he could just beat the shit out of her and be done with it, but…this was _Kagome._ What the hell was he supposed to do?!

She continued glaring, twisting under his hands as she tried to free herself from the grip on her shoulders, "I'll kick you if I want to, you stupid dog, you're being a jerk!"

"Don't call me a dog, Kagome." He growled low.

"Dog. Dog dog dog dog." She chanted.

"Shut up right now, Kagome. Just shut the hell up." She was SO pissing him OFF!

"No, and you can't make me!" She stuck her tongue out at him in an uncharacteristically childish gesture.

"Why you little – " He glared at her furiously and then yanked her close and slammed his mouth down on hers. That oughtta shut her up, the Stupid. Little.

Oh crap, what was he doin'? This was, this was…his brain tried to pay attention to what was going on. This was really, really nice. Who knew Kagome would taste _this _good? Kagome had stilled the moment his lips touched hers, but seemed to be recovering and started to draw her head away. He slid one hand up from her shoulder to keep her head still, immersing his fingers in her thick hair, and he bent his head to get a better angle. Her lips were firmly shut, and he pushed at the soft crease between them with his tongue. Hell, hanging around Miroku had been good for _some_ things. As her mouth opened slightly, he slid his tongue into her heat tentatively. It was so slick and soft, and such an odd experience to finally taste the smell that clung to her, the smell that he wanted to just wrap around himself and wear, it was so sweet. His tongue finally touched hers and he caressed it, sliding his own over it slowly, back and forth, drawing it out closer to his mouth each time he withdrew slightly, creating gentle pressure as he pulled on it.

He caught himself moaning slightly and ran his hand down her shoulder and onto her back, pulling her in a little. His hand moved down lower, smoothed across the dampened fabric across her waist and her own hands, which had managed to get up to his chest as though to push him away, suddenly clenched against his suikan. He startled at the unexpected movement.

Wait, what the hell was he doing? He pulled back a moment, claws still entangled in her hair as he looked at Kagome's dazed face in front him. She put a hand up to her lips and he resisted the urge to lick his own.

"Inu-yasha?" Her eyes were huge as she stared up at him and he felt himself cringe inside. As usual, who'd want a filthy hanyou touching them… "Inuyasha? Why…?"

He grumbled. What the hell was he supposed to say? "It was nothin'. It just, it got you to shut up, didn't it?" Her eyes started filling with tears and he frantically tried to stop it, his hands dropping away from her. "Hey, now, don't start crying! I mean it! You stop crying right now or I'm taking you back and dumping you in the pond again!" More tears fell.

"Aw, c'mon, please stop crying? Please? C'mon, I can't take this shit…" He reached out and pulled her roughly against his chest, awkwardly rubbed her still damp back.

"You're such a jerk, Inuyasha!" she wailed into his chest. He nodded, okay, so he was a jerk. "A big, dumb jerk!" Okay, he could take that one too. "A big, dumb, stupid…"

"Okay, already, I get the idea!" he interrupted irritably. Jeez, when was she gonna stop crying already? He kept patting her back, waiting for her to stop so he could just get back to the Feudal era and forget all about this. Somehow, life without his prayer beads wasn't quite living up to his expectations.


	5. Ch 5 Smackdown: Hojo vs Inuyasha

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, the characters, don't make any money off of them.**

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews!**

Chapter 5: Feudal Fairytale Smackdown: Hojo vs. Inuyasha

Shippou was sleeping inside the hut when a rather subdued Inuyasha and Kagome appeared back at the campfire in the Feudal Era. Miroku and Sango looked up briefly as they noticed the couple's return. As one, their eyes noticed the flushed faces, averted eyes, and Kagome's slightly reddened lips. After a long hard stare directed at Inuyasha, Sango got up and ushered Kagome towards Kaede's home for some dry clothes. She whispered to her quietly as they walked, patting her shoulder sympathetically, then turned to throw one killer glare back at Inuyasha before following Kagome inside. Miroku winced and shook his head sadly.

"Inuyasha, I am truly sorry."

Inuyasha, caught watching Kagome, turned quickly to look at him. "Huh? Sorry for what?"

The monk sighed dramatically.

"I had not realized that your technique was so sadly lacking. If I'd known, I would have shared more of my expertise…"

"Your expertise in what?" What the hell was he talking about?

"In courting the ladies, of course."

Inuyasha blinked at him dumbly for a moment before sneering a bit. "_Your_ expertise in courting ladies? Man, I always knew you were a hentai monk."

"No, no, no" Miroku corrected hurriedly, "I meant my expertise in watching _others_ courting. A monk is a student of human nature. I, myself, would never..." Inuyasha snorted loudly.

"Yeah, right." He paused a moment, "Hey, who said anything about courting Kagome anyway? What exactly do you think we were doing, Houshi?" he growled.

Miroku shook his head. "Inuyasha, one look at Kagome-sama's face, not to mention her lips, and _everyone_ knows what you were doing while you two were alone." Inuyasha's face turned bright red and he sputtered incoherently for an entire minute before he was able to speak coherently.

"Well, everyone can just… you're just wrong, damn it. I didn't, I mean we didn't…nothing happened! Just 'cause you're a damn lecher…"

Miroku raised one dubious eyebrow, causing Inuyasha to sputter some more.

"It wasn't…I didn't..Oh, screw you, houshi." He finally spat out, face flaming, and turned away to run to his favorite tree.

Miroku smiled to himself. The beads had been missing for half a day and so far, Inuyasha had yet to kill or permanently maim anyone. Life looked promising. Considering that Sango was likely to be watching Inuyasha closely now, and not paying as close attention to himself, the future positively glowed. "Aah, my wandering hand, I think you will be getting a lot of exercise in the following days." He closed his eyes, envisioning it briefly, before he smothered the fire and got up to go inside for the night along with the others.

xxxxx

The next morning started off well. Kagome came out to see the sun shining brightly, with Inuyasha nowhere in sight, thank goodness. She didn't know how she was going to look him in the face without blushing after last night. At least she would get a break from him for a while, she thought in relief. She wasn't sure if he'd remembered that she had a test in 2 days, what with the demon and the beads and everything else that had been going on. Her original plan had been to go back home tonight, giving herself a little time to study, but if Inuyasha wasn't around, now might be a good time to make herself scarce. She could take a few days to recover her equilibrium after, well, everything that had happened.

"Sango-chan," she called inside to Kaede's hut, "I'm going to just head home now, before Inuyasha shows up. Remind him I have a test soon, will you?" Sango nodded.

"We'll keep him away as long as we can, Kagome-chan. You just concentrate on this test of yours." Kagome smiled and nodded her thanks. She could always count on Sango to know just what she needed. Tossing her pack on, she headed out to the well, just missing the hanyou who was sprinting up to the village from the other direction.

"Oy, wake up, Kagome." Inuyasha said loudly as he came into the hut. Almost immediately, he realized Miroku, Shippou, and Sango were the only one's there. "Where's Kagome?"

"She had to go back home." Sango said. "She has a test, remember?"

"Feh, stupid tests again." he grumbled. "How come she didn't say goodbye?" he asked, irritated. Miroku and Sango both looked at him. "What? What's that look supposed to mean?" Sango shook her head, muttering to herself as she turned and started rolling up her bed. Miroku stood up and came over to Inuyasha.

"I'm certain she'll start talking to you again once she forgives you." he said soothingly.

"Me? Forgives me for what?"

"Well, I'm sure you'd know better than I…" Miroku went on with a sly smile.

"Hey! I didn't… _I'm_ the one who got kicked in the balls! _I'm_ the one who never got an apology!"

Miroku patted him on the shoulder.

"Inuyasha, you'll just have to accept it. In cases like this, it is _always_ the man's fault. Simply apologize and get it over with. Life will run much smoother that way."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Inuyasha snapped. That stupid monk, always talking about crap he didn't understand…

"Just forget it, Miroku, he's too dense to figure it out." came Shippou's sleepy voice from the last bedroll.

"Why you little brat…" He leapt over to give him a good pounding only to get wacked over the head by Miroku's staff. "Ow, dammit! What the hell was that for?"

"You shouldn't take out your anger at Kagome on a child, Inuyasha." he preached.

"I'm taking out my anger at _Shippou_ on Shippou, you idiot. Just like I'm taking out my anger at_ you_ on you." He said, punching Miroku in the head so hard the monk fell to his knees. "Stupid idiots. Why do I even bother…I'm gonna go get Kagome." He said.

"Don't you dare, Inuyasha." Sango said from the corner as she finished with her mat. "She has been working really hard over here to help us find the jewel shards recently. And putting up with you!" she added." The least we can do is to give her some peace to do these tests that are so important to her. Just leave her alone!" He looked at her. Putting up with him? Was he that difficult to be around? Did she really want to be away from him that much and he'd just never noticed?

"Fine." he sulked. "But she's coming home the moment she's done!" and he stormed off. Stupid Sango and her stupid guilt and stupid Miroku and his stupid hentai thoughts and ….it was all just stupid! He looked up and realized he was already at the well and threw himself down in the grass. Dammit all anyway, just what was he supposed to do for two days until she came back?

xxxxxx

Not quite two days later, Inuyasha prowled around the Higurashi living room impatiently. "When the hell is she getting home? I thought she was supposed to be done with her test by now!" He growled, thinking very seriously about punching a hole in the wall.

"She's probably getting out of school any minute now" Mrs. Higurashi's voice called from the kitchen. "I'm sure she'll be home soon after that."

"Feh, she always walks too slow. It'll take forever for her to get here." He stopped pacing and glared at the floor as though it was to blame for everything. "I'm gonna go get her." he decided. "She needs to get back home and get goin'." He started to walk out of the house only to have Mrs. Higurashi call out to him.

"Here, don't forget this!" she came out with his baseball hat, smiling as she put it on his head for him.

"Uh, thanks." he mumbled, heading out the door.

He still wasn't entirely sure how to deal with Kagome's mom. She was just a human, but he was pretty sure Kagome would have sit him to underworld if he'd been too rude to her, and old habits died hard.

Leaving the shrine, he ran down the street, ignoring the looks of surprise from the people around him as he sped by. Let 'em stare, the idiots. If Kagome couldn't hurry her ass up, then he was obligated to come and move it along. It was his duty, really. After all, who else could cross over and make sure she didn't fiddle around here with something unimportant and useless and silly, something that didn't involve the jewel shards.

Oh admit it, his conscience said, you just don't like her doing things that don't involve _you._

_Just because I have to watch over her pathetic, weak ass body and make sure she doesn't die before we get all the shards doesn't mean it's all about me, you baka._

Oh really? Didn't seem like you found her body all that pathetic last night.

_That was- that was just to get her to keep her damn mouth shut, that's all!_

Riiiiight. You keep telling yourself that, moron.

_It's true!_

Inuyasha, who do you think you're talking to here? Asked his conscience.

_Oh…. yeah._

So, be honest, you're pissed 'cause Kagome is off doing stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Hmmmm, isn't that right?

_Oh, just shut the fuck up, you smug bastard._ Inuyasha muttered, pissed off all over again.

He finally reached Kagome's school and stopped, noting all the young men and women already in the process of leaving. Scanning the faces, he watched carefully until he found her with a group of 3 girls and ...a boy. Fucking wonderful. He knew there were males in her school, how could he not? However, thinking about her being near them, and talking to them when he wasn't around, was starting to make his hackles rise. She was standing awfully damn close to the wimpy little human bastard, he thought as he stomped over. What the hell was up with that? Really, how could her mother allow her to go to this place where strange guys were coming up to her and...was that asshole giving her a gift? Oh, HELL no. He started running.

Kagome looked down at the violet wrapped package in Hojo's hand and smiled weakly at him.

"It's Green tea. Hopefully it may help with your blindness, Kagome. Although, are you sure you should be walking home alone with your eyesight doing so poorly?"

"Oh, it's doing much better now, Hojo, really." She sighed inwardly. Honestly, her grandfather was an idiot. Blindness? Maybe she should buy him a book of common illnesses before he gave her something fatal and finally tipped everyone off, jeesh.

"Are you free this Saturday? I was wondering if you'd care to go to a movie."

"Uh, well, actually..."

"She'd love to!" all three of her friends chimed in at once. Oh for Gods' sake, she thought, irritated. Can't they just leave well enough alone!

"Actually, Hojo, " she started to say, smiling apologetically, but before she could finish, she was shoved backwards and garish red fabric filled her vision.

"Who the fuck are you and what the hell do you mean by giving Kagome gifts?" she heard a familiar voice yell, and she closed her eyes. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no...this can't be happening, she thought. This just can't be happening! She glanced sideways to see Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka standing with their eyes wide and their mouths hanging open. This can't be happening!!

"I-I'm Hojo. Who in the world are you?" she heard Hojo's soft voice shoot back mildly.

"None of your damn business! You stay the hell away from Kagome, you hear me?"

As Hojo opened his mouth to reply, Kagome found herself praying madly from behind Inuyasha. Don't say something stupid, just nod and walk away. Don't say something stupid!

"I'm afraid that won't do at all." Hojo said, his voice that same mild tone as always. "I wouldn't want to miss our date this Saturday." Kagome wanted to scream. You _idiot!_

"Date?" Inuyasha said in an odd voice. "You and Kagome are planning to go to a...date?" Kagome gulped. She promised herself that she would never try to educate or otherwise teach Inuyasha ever again, just so long as he didn't remember what she'd told him about dating. Please let him have been ignoring her like usual that day. Hope died an unpleasant death as Inuyasha whipped around and glared down at her.

"You. Were going on a date. With him."

"Well, actually, you see..."

"You were going on a date with him? By yourself?" his breathing started to get heavy.

"Well, actually, you see..."

"YOU WERE GOING ON A DATE WITH HIM?"

"Will you let me finish!" she yelled.

"If I could interrupt for a moment..." Hojo started to say from behind Inuyasha.

"SHUT UP!" Inuyasha and Kagome both yelled at the same time. The girls watching stared in shock and muttered to each other.

"Look at her, why is she yelling at Hojo, he's the one who's acting rational." said Eri

"That's gotta be the jealous boyfriend. Why the heck is he dressed like _that? _Man, he really does try to kill anyone who comes near her." exclaimed Yuka.

"Wow, he's kinda cute." said Ayumi. The other 2 glared at her for a moment before looking back to the live soap opera in front of them.

Inuyasha and Kagome were still yelling at each other. "What the hell is wrong with you, accepting gifts from strange men? I swear, Kagome, you are NEVER coming back here alone again, if this is the type of shit that happens! What do you think you're doing? And who said you could go on a date with some perverted boy! I can't believe you!"

"What? Inuyasha, you are so…aargh…frustrating! I'll go on a date with whoever I want to, whenever I want to, and you have nothing to say about it! And Hojo is not perverted!"

"Nothing to say about it! I have everything to say about it!"

"Ha!" Kagome bit out, "In your dreams."

Inuyasha bent his face down close to hers, glaring into her eyes.

"I have everything to say about it because I'm bigger than you, I'm stronger than you, and if any boy tries to do this date thing with you, I will chop him up for sushi." he growled quietly through clenched teeth. Kagome couldn't think of anything to say to that and fumed at him. Oh, he was so dead when they got back to the feudal era. He thought he was safe with his beads off? Ha! Wait until she got a hold of those ears! She'd pull them right off his head! Inuyasha turned back around to Hojo, who still stood there, confused as usual.

"What are you still doing here?" Inuysahsa said rudely. Hojo held himself stiffly but didn't back down.

"I haven't finished discussing the details of my date with Kagome yet." Kagome's mouth hung open and she heard her friends squealing.

"Oh, he's so brave!"

"Standing up to that bully that way."

Does he have no sense of self-preservation? Kagome thought, amazed.

"You haven't - There's not going to BE any date, you dumbass! I thought I just told you that." Inuyasha spit.

"Yes, I know you did, but Miss Higurashi has yet to..."

Inuyasha growled in frustration.

"Kagome doesn't have a damn thing to say about this anymore. _I'm_ telling you, there's not gonna be a date! Now get outta here before I beat the shit out of you, you moron."

Kagome gasped and smacked Inuyasha in the shoulder. "I'll go out with him if I want to!" she said fiercely, conveniently forgetting her reservations of just a few minutes before. He didn't even bother turning around.

"There's no way in hell this guy's getting you alone somewhere, Kagome." he said fiercely over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you have no say in this matter. It's a private matter between Higurashi and I, so I'll have to ask you to, well, to mind your own business." Hojo continued staunchly. Kagome's eyes got so wide she thought they would pop out of her head. Sheknew Inuyasha wasn't going to kill _her_, but Hojo? He REALLY had no sense of self-preservation.

"Hojo, run!" she said quickly, grabbing onto the back of Inuyasha's Suikan as she did so.

"Excuse me?" he said, just before Inuyasha's fist caught him in the jaw and sent him sprawling, Kagome's present falling to the ground.

"Fucking idiot." Inuyasha said, and turned to Kagome, "And what the hell is up with warning that moron? You like him or something?"

"No! But he's a friend, baka! You didn't have to hit him so hard, you big dummy!" she started going around him to head over to the unconscious boy and he growled, grabbing Kagome's arm as he turned to go, dragging her behind him.

"I don't want you hanging around this stupid place anymore. We're going home." He said.

Kagome looked back to see the other students heading over to Hojo's unconscious body. Her three friends stood by his side for a moment, exchanging glances, and then ran after her. Oh wow, they were going to try and help her? That was so...well, that was really stupid actually, but she hadn't realized they were so loyal...

They stopped running as they caught up and simply kept pace. Inuyasha glanced at them, not even pausing. "What the hell do you three want?"

"Uh, well...we were just, uh, wondering...Kagome, is this your boyfriend? " Eri blurted out, walking quickly to keep up with Inuyasha's pace.

"Whaaaat?" Kagome said, in shock. THIS is why they'd followed them and left Hojo laying in the dirt?

Inuyasha turned as red as his shirt. He grunted once and kept on going. Kagome's face flushed slightly as she stumbled, trying to keep up with Inuyasha's hold on her arm.

"This is him, yeah? The possessive boyfriend?" asked Yuka, panting as she trotted next to them. Oh, let me just die now, Kagome thought, not daring to look at Inuyasha's face as he stopped dead.

"You mean Kagome actually _has_ a boyfriend?" he said slowly, looking over at them.

"Well, yeah. Isn't that you?" Ayumi asked, confused. He gave them a dark look and his eyes shifted over to Kagome's red face.

"Who is he, Kagome?" he said, growling low. She didn't say a word. "Tell me who he is, Kagome! It's the Hojo guy, isn't it? I'll..."

"No, it's not Hojo!" she interrupted quickly. "Jeez, the poor guy just asked me on a date! You've already knocked him unconscious, just leave him alone!"

"Then who is he?" he asked angrily. He looked over at Eri, "You, tell me who he is!" he demanded of her.

"Uh, I've never actually met him, " Eri admitted, obviously flustered now that Inuyasha did _not_ seem to be the infamous boyfriend.

"Well, what the hell _do_ you know about him?" he asked, scowling.

Noticeably intimidated, Eri stuttered. "Um, well, Kagome always said he was selfish. And, uh, loud, rude, impatient,"

"And possessive!" Yuka interjected.

"Oh yeah, possessive. A real jerk. He's always getting mad at her if she's even just a few minutes late… I'm sorry, I just assumed…uh, I mean. " she stumbled to a halt and gave a sheepish look at Kagome. Thanks a lot, Eri, Kagome thought glumly, feeling Inuyasha's eyes bore into the top of her head.

She tensed, just waiting for the outburst, but Inuyasha simply clenched his jaw and started walking again, dragging her along. When the girls started after them again he turned and stared at them hard. "What, are you baby ducks? Quit following us!"

They stopped, staring after them in shock, and Kagome closed her eyes, sighing. _Oh, it's going to be a real picnic trying to explain this later._

She'd stumbled about a block when the explosion finally came. Inuyasha stopped, releasing his grip on her arm to hold her by the shoulders. "Who were they talking about, Kagome?" He growled softly. He'd just been pissed as hell until they mentioned that this 'boyfriend' got angry if she was late. That sounded so familiar that he hadn't felt that he could speak at first, he was so furious. "Are they talking about me? Or is there someone else who you insult like that all the time?" Kagome winced, trying to think. Jeez, which was better at this point, let him think there was another boy, or let him know that HE was the boyfriend?

"Answer me, Kagome?" he ordered, gripping her shoulders tighter, "Who is this guy?" She sighed. He was perfectly capable of going back to school and start busting heads until he found out what he wanted to know, the idiot.

"It's you, stupid. They're talking about you, okay?" He managed to look hurt, pleased, and angry at the same time. As usual, anger soon took precedence.

"So I'm selfish and rude and loud, is that it?" he asked.

"Well, yeah, a lot of times you are! Like today!" she shot back. He stared at her, surprised. She didn't even deny it, or apologize, or anything! Fine then, if that's what she thought...

"Stupid idiot, like you know. Get your ass in gear, we gotta get goin'." he said, yanking his hands off her shoulders angrily to snag her by the wrist again. He started walking so quickly she could barely keep up.

"Inuyasha, will you slow down! I can't walk this fast!"

"Too bad. I'm a rude jerk, remember, I don't care if you can't keep up." he said, but she noticed he slowed just slightly anyway. They walked for another block. He'd looked so sad there for a moment, before he'd blown up. Had that hurt his feelings? She would have felt pretty awful if Inuyasha had said that stuff about her behind her back. Of course, he usually just said it to her face, but still.

"Inuyasha."

"What." he said irritably.

"I'm sorry."

"Huh?" his grip loosened a bit and he slowed down.

"I shouldn't have said those things about you to the girls." She said, so quietly he wouldn't have heard her if not for his demon's ears. "We'd had a fight and I was angry at you and...I still shouldn't have said those things." He gulped, letting go of her arm completely, and walked next to her with his hands in his sleeves, avoiding her searching look. He'd never admit it, but it _had_ hurt to know she disliked him that much.

"So, you don't think I'm a ..all those things you said."

"Well, sometimes, " his ears drooped, "But you're also loyal, and brave, and you can be awfully sweet, and you...you take care of me." His cheeks burst into flames and he walked in silence for a few minutes.

"Why did you tell them I was your boyfriend?"

Now it was her turn to blush.

"I didn't, not exactly...they just kind of assumed, and I didn't think I should correct them and...well, it just kinda happened." Jeez, she didn't want him to know that she thought of him like that! That was the last thing she needed. He was possessive enough as it was!

"Oh." So, she didn't really think of him that way at all, it was just a misunderstanding. Which was just fine, he thought. He wasn't expecting her to. Maybe sometimes she looked at him a certain way and he thought that she felt something, but how deep could it really be? He knew what humans thought of youkai and hanyou; Kikyou had made that very clear. It was just that, sometimes... "Feh, let's get home. We need to get back to the others" She nodded, and they finished the walk to her house in silence.

Her mother smiled when they came in the front door, asking them cheerfully how their walk home had been as she lightly snatched Inuyasha's hat from his head.

"Fine." they both mumbled.

"Are you heading right out?" she inquired.

"Yeah."

"No." Inuyasha and Kagome looked at each other as they spoke, identical frowns growing as they realized they'd disagreed.

"We're leaving right now, Kagome. Get your things and let's go, it's taken too long here as it is."

"No! I want to take a bath and have some dinner and rest a minute before I go back to Feudal no-running-water-and-no-electricity Japan!"

"Too bad! We're going, and that's final." He crossed his arms and glared at her. Her mother came up and patted her shoulders.

"Maybe it would be best if you just went along with it, dear. I can pack you some food to take with you, all right?"

"But mom." Kagome protested. "How can you take his side?" Her mom glanced at Inuyasha's smug face and learned forward to whisper in Kagome's ear.

"Well, you won the argument last time, didn't you?" Kagome nodded slowly, remembering the last time he'd come to get her and ended up Osuwari'd into the garden until he'd let her stay. "No one in a couple should win all the time, so why don't you let him have his way just this once?"

Kagome choked.

"Mom" she whispered back fiercely, "we're NOT a couple.."

"Of course not, Sweetie." she said in a reassuring voice. "I'll just go pack that dinner for you, shall I?" Kagome turned and fumed all the way up the stairs into her bedroom. Stupid Inuyasha, how could her own mother support him over her like that? She dumped books and clothes into her bag and went back down just in time to grab the container of food from her mother, barely managing to stuff it in the top of her bag. Then she stomped to the front door.

"Well" she demanded as she passed Inuyasha by the doorway. "Aren't you coming? I thought we had to go right back." He nodded, feeling fairly complacent now that he'd won, and followed her out.

Once they'd crossed over, Inuyasha jumped out of the well holding Kagome's backpack as she climbed laboriously up the ivy. He tossed it to the ground only to watch the clasp snick open and half the contents tumble to the ground. As soon as Kagome climbed over the top of the well and saw it, she started yelling. "Inuyasha! Look what you did! Now I'll have to pack it all up again! Can't you be more careful of my stuff?" He snorted, and then watched her start to rearrange things inside the pack as she tried to get everything to fit back in.

"What are those?" Inuyasha asked as she picked up some heavier items off the grass.

"School books, what do they look like?"

"Well, dump them back into the well. It's not like you're going to need them, anyhow."

"I need them to study, dummy."

"No, you don't. You're not going back there again, so you can just toss them." Kagome stared at him a moment.

"What do you mean, I'm not going back there?" she said in a dangerous voice. He humphed.

"Just what I said. I don't want you going back there anymore. I told you that when you left school today, remember?"

"What? What are you…wait. When you said you didn't want me at that 'stupid place,' you meant forever?"

"Duh."

"Not duh! I don't care if you want me going back to school or not. I'm going!" she said hotly, and reached up to smack him in the back of the head. He grabbed her arm before she connected. What was it with him and that arm today! Jeez, she was going to have a bruise the size of Tokyo there soon if he didn't cut it out!

"Kagome, I'm not _letting_ you go back there anymore. Not to your school, and not to your home either, if I don't feel like it." He added self-righteously.

Kagome looked at the hand on her upper arm, starting to realize that he was serious...and that he could probably back up what he said, too. He was going to keep her in the Feudal era? She looked up indignantly into his face.

"You can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because...I'd never see Mom, or Souta, or Gramps again!" Did he look a little less determined? "And...no more Ramen! No more ninja snacks!" Okay, that did it.

"Well, maybe you can go home sometimes," he said grudgingly. "But no school!"

"That's ridiculous! I have to go to school."

"Feh, what the hell for? All it does is make you freak out every few weeks when you have to take those tests."

"I have to go to school to get into the university." she said slowly, talking to him like the idiot he was. "If I don't get into the university, I can't get a job. And if I can't get a job, I can't make money. And if I can't make money, I will NEVER be able to buy ramen!" He didn't budge.

"Your mom can buy it."

"You idiot, she won't be around forever!"

"Then we'll do something different about that later, but you are NOT going back to that damn school place, with all those assholes trying to do dates with you and, and stuff." She stared at him without speaking for a moment.

"This isn't about the jewel shards at all, is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Here I thought you were just being impatient and stupid and selfish like you usually are..."

"Hey!"

"But you're jealous, aren't you?" She said in a wondering tone.

"I am NOT jealous!" he spat out, going pink in the ears.

"Are."

"NOT!"

"Why do you want me to stay out of school so badly, then, huh?"

He sputtered a moment.

"It's a waste of time, and we need to finish finding those jewel shards right away, which we can't do if you are studying and screwing around with school all the time!"

She flushed, embarrassed to be wrong, and scowled. "Too bad. If you don't let me go to school, I won't help you find the jewel shards."

"If you don't help us find the shards, there's no way in hell you're going to school!" He yelled.

"Oh, so if I help, then I can go to school?"

"Wha- I mean..NO, that's not what I said! Crap, you are so damn irritating." He let go of her arm, crouched down, and reached into her backpack. The rest of her school books started flying out onto the ground

"Hey, stop that!" He ignored her until her fingers formed claws and she went for his ears. He barely paused as he reached out and grabbed both her wrists in one hand just before she touched him.

"Don't touch the ears." He growled out fiercely, turning his head briefly to glare at her before releasing her hands and going back to the backpack.

"Don't dump out my books!" She yelled at him, rubbing her wrists where he'd grabbed her. Ow.

"You don't need them anymore." He insisted and grabbed the whole lot, throwing them down the well. He stood up and wiped his hands together. "Ha, that takes care of that."

"You...you bossy, ignorant, toad! You go get them back right, this, second!" She yelled in his face. After his hair settled from the blast of her voice, he shook his head, his hands tucked inside his sleeves.

"Never gonna happen, Kagome. Live with it." He turned to walk back to Kaede's and heard her start to go over the well wall. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked, looking back at her.

"I'm getting my books and I'm going home!" she yelled as she jumped into the well, only to jerk to a stop in midair as his arm grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back out onto the grass. "Let me go, you stupid moron! I'm leaving!" He hadn't released her waist yet and he pulled her back against him, leaning over to speak quietly into her ear.

"You are an idiot," he said fiercely. "I said you couldn't go back home. I _said_ you couldn't go back to school. You are _not_ going back there unless I let you, and if you do go back, it's only for food or family, Kagome. Don't go after those books, 'cause school is over!" She pushed at his arm and tried to stomp down on his foot.

"Stupid...jerk...let me go!" she growled. He growled back. How could she be so damned stubborn! It was infuriating. She should be happy she wasn't going back to school, all she did was get worried and scared about it, anyway. And there was no way she was going to win, didn't she know that? Why was she still fighting?

"I won't let go until you promise not to go down the well without me, Kagome." he said firmly.

"Don't hold your breath!"

"Fine, then. Be that way," he muttered. He loosened his hold a moment to scoop her legs out from under her with his other arm.

"We're going to Kaede's," he said, turning away from the well.

"Let me go!" She yelled, and smacked him across the face. It didn't really do much to him, but the fact that she'd done it...

"You are really pissing me off right now, Kagome!" he said, wrestling with her a bit before clamping her arms to her body while he held her. "There, that'll hold ya." she struggled vainly for minute before giving up.

"You are not stopping me from going back to school!" she said one last time.

"Yeah, right. Whatever." He muttered, starting to walk back to Kaede's. As they went, he was starting to become more aware of the feel of Kagome in his arms. A little soft in places, with good, strong arms, and he could feel soft sleekness of her naked skin just above the knees where his hand was holding on. He tried to ignore her fuming, but couldn't help but glance at her out of the corner of his eyes. She still looked as angry as he felt, but he saw an extra sheen in her eyes. Aw shit, not tears! He could handle mad, that was no problem, especially without the prayer beads creaming him all the time. But tears? He _hated_ seeing her cry. It made him feel cruel and useless and he _hated_ knowing she was sad.

Couldn't she see that this was better? She was always so worried about school she couldn't even sleep. Even just dragging those books around hurt her back, so why did she fight it this much? It wasn't good for her. And all those boys hanging around her? How could she expect him to just ignore that, or let it happen when he wasn't even around to defend what was his?

Uh...wait a sec...his?

He looked down at her directly for a moment, eyes wide. Is that how he thought of her? She felt him staring and glared up at him, just catching his eyes before he looked straight ahead again. His? Did he really feel that way about her? He thought about her being with someone else and felt his hackles rise immediately..shit, she was right, he WAS jealous! Didn't mean he was in the wrong, of course, he thought, just...she shouldn't be with other boys when she belonged with him! And how in the world did he deal with it, now that he knew? He couldn't just let her go back on her own. It was obvious that Hojo character had designs on his Kagome. I mean, who wouldn't? She was awfully pretty. He looked down at her again, watching the blue glints to her hair as the late afternoon sun hit it. She was stiff with anger, her scent spiky and acrid with it, actually. But he couldn't help notice how soft the skin of her thigh was under his fingertips, or the warmth of her against his chest, or…

"Hey, what are you staring at, you jerk?" Kagome bit out.

"Nothin'" he muttered, looking forward again, and sighed as he continued to walk to Kaede's.


	6. Ch 6 Miroku's Dedication

Disclaimer: Let's see: don't own Inuyasha, it's characters, etc. Wish I made money off of it, but don't.

A/N Thanks for the reviews! Woo hoo, lots and lots! This chapter is dedicated to all the die hard Miroku fans out there. Long live the Hentai, hee hee.

Chapter 6: Miroku's Dedication

Inuyasha prowled around Kaede's home, cursing constantly as he circled it in the darkness, decapitating flowers with his toes. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

xxxxx

_Earlier_

He brought Kagome to Kaede's village and dumped her on the ground where the whole group was outside training. Almost immediately, she jumped back up and he spent the following minutes blocking as Kagome attempted to kick, bite, scratch, and otherwise maim him in as many places as she could reach. He debated simply grabbing her again, but the thought of embracing her bare legs, well, the thought of holding her at all, was so appealing that it made him feel rather uncomfortable. He wasn't sure what might happen if he touched her again like that, so soon. Stomping her was obviously out, too, so he decided he'd just have to outlast her and keep her away from any important parts. That shouldn't be _too_ hard: she was just a girl after all.

Sango and Miroku watched Kagome's attack for only moments before trying to intervene.

"Kagome-sama, please, calm down! I'm sure we can solve this peacefully." Miroku said, futilely attempting to hold her back.

"I will _not_ calm down! Do you know what this dumb, stupid, stubborn jerk is doing?" she paused to glare at Sango and Miroku, "He won't let me go back home!"

"What?" they both exclaimed. Miroku let go and Sango glared at Inuyasha in what was becoming her habitual expression near him recently. Miroku shook his head ruefully. He _really_ needed to talk with Inuyasha about how he treated the ladies. Expressing a desire for your lady's company could be accomplished with so much less...violence...if you knew how to go about it. Well, as long as the lady in question wasn't Sango. But honestly, women and orders simply didn't mix, and if he knew anything about Inuyasha, it was that he _always_ gave orders. Miroku paused in his musings as he noticed Sango. She still had on her slayer outfit, and he could see she was now getting set to practice some of her skills on a certain half-demon. This was not good.

Miroku really didn't want to see the entire group battling each other, and he certainly wasn't going to allow Sango to engage Inuyasha without his subjugation beads. She might actually be injured if the hanyou didn't control himself properly. Sighing deeply, he shook out his hands, getting the blood flowing. He knew what he had to do, as much as it went against his better nature...not that it had ever stopped him before. The sacrifices he went through, he thought with a small grin. He reached over to the fuming Sango and lovingly caressed the closest side of her rounded bottom, squeezing slightly.

She bitch slapped him without even bothering to turn and look.

Ow.

He rubbed his cheek, but quickly realized that Sango's anger on Kagome's behalf was consuming enough that his small caress was barely registering. So, a challenge, was it? He laid his staff on the ground, stepped closer to Sango, and placed _both_ of his hands on the cheeks of her ass, cupping them happily. He let his fingers dig into the soft flesh, enjoying the greater access allowed by her tight outfit. Oh. Dear. Gods.

Sango stiffened as she felt full contact across her entire bottom. Miroku, that stupid hentai…she shivered suddenly as he squeezed, surprising her. Quickly, almost frantically, she spun around and planted her fist in his face, knocking him head over heels. He lay on the ground and blinked over at her through bleary eyes, already feeling one of them starting to swell up. After a brief frown at him, she deliberately refocused her attention towards Inuyasha and Kagome. Her fists clenched as she looked for an opening. Focus on Kagome, she told herself. Not one what just happened, not on that stupid Monk, and his hands, and….grrrrr, why did he always do that?! She glared at Inuyasha, ready to redirect her anger at him if it would help Kagome. Men!!

Well, this looked like it might take some real perseverance, thought Miroku. Be strong, he counseled himself. He heaved himself back up quickly, closed the distance between them, and reached around from behind her to cup her breasts. He closed his eyes again to better enjoy what his hands were doing. Sango had spectacular breasts. Why had he never thought of doing this before? How was it he had never touched these amazing, soft wonders-of-the-world when they'd been staring him in the face for months now? He leaned his head forward and kissed the vulnerable back of her neck, left bare by her upswept hairdo, as his hands started kneading softly.

Feeling the heat of his palms over her chest, Sango looked down in shock. Little tingles ran over her skin as warm breath caressed the back of her neck just before his lips brushed her nape. He groaned softly against her skin, and she drew in her breath sharply. Oh my goodness, the man had hands that could tempt a saint, honestly. She closed her eyes and felt her knees buckle for a moment as his hands squeezed gently. Hearing a frustrated grumbling, she opened them back up to see Inuyasha blocking yet another punch from Kagome and reason returned. What the hell was she thinking? This was Miroku, for goodness sake, and look at what she was letting him do!

"Hentai!" She whipped around to beat him into the ground, but her arm met empty air. He had tightened his grip and was still groping her breasts, moving his legs quickly so he stayed directly behind her and out of range of her fists. "Let go, Houshi!" she demanded, trying to pry his hands off her chest while spinning back and forth in an attempt to reach him. "You are a dead man!"

"I don't believe- releasing you would be- in my best interests," Miroku panted as he buried his face in between her shoulder blades, his hands hanging onto her torso for dear life, feet moving desperately in an instinctive attempt to keep all his body parts intact and out of her reach. Upon reflection, maybe this hadn't been the best plan of action. Ah well, he'd always lived with the knowledge that he would likely die at a young age. It wasn't such a bad way to go...

Sango, in the meanwhile, had finally managed pry his hand off one breast and pulled his arm away from her. Using his captured limb, she heaved him over her shoulder. He flew through the air and landed facedown in a heap near Kirara, much to Sango's satisfaction. She watched his still form for a moment before turning away from him again. After the dust settled, Shippou peeked his head up from behind Kirara and looked at him.

"Is it safe to come out yet?" he whispered.

Miroku attempted to stand and groaned as he couldn't make it past his knees. "No, I don't believe so, Shippou." He said, sighing deeply as he noticed Sango once again focusing on Inuyasha and the violently angry Kagome. Well, Inuyasha's activities were definitely keeping Sango distracted, just as he'd hoped the evening after the beads came off. And it _was_ giving Miroku more opportunities to pay his respects to some of Sango's most appealing assets. He simply hadn't thought every opportunity would come in the same day!

"I don't know if I have the strength for this," he moaned. He managed to get to his hands and knees and crawled laboriously over to Sango. She was watching Inuyasha's Kagome-Avoidance-Dance, obviously looking for an opportunity to intervene in a way that wouldn't injure Kagome.

Miroku took a deep breath. This is for Sango's own good, he thought virtuously, and pushed himself up on shaky arms to kneel behind her. He leaned forward and grabbed her around the hips at the same time he laid his face on the soft pillow of her bottom and nuzzled it. He closed his eyes and tried to live in the moment. Enjoy this lovely sweetness for the minute it lasted. And please, whichever Gods were listening, let this be enough!

Sango stiffened as she felt Miroku's arms embrace her and his face press against her backside. It can't be, she thought. There is no way he's back here _again_! She looked down at the robe clad arms softly caressing her lower belly and her vision took on a red hue.

"HOUSHI!" She stepped forward, jerking out of his hold, and spun around in time to see Miroku smack into the ground as he lost the support of her body. She stepped close, yelling at him. "What does it take to make you stop!" His arm twitched and reached up to unerringly find her thigh, his face remaining firmly on the ground.

"AAAARRRGGGH!" she screamed, slapping it away. "I am going to kill you, I swear, you sneaky, lecherous, underhanded, stupid hentai!" She punched down sharply, hitting him in the back, and knocked his body a few inches into the soft dirt as he grunted in pain.

"Sango, if you would just let me explain-" came his muffled voice from the dirt. Her fist came down again, hitting him in the shoulder. "Ooof." Sango raised her fist one more time to pound the lecherous houshi when she felt Kagome's soft hand take hold of her arm. She looked at her in surprise.

"Kagome? But, what about Inuyasha...?"

Kagome smiled tenatively, although her eyes were fierce.

"Oh, he's still gonna pay, believe me." She said.

Inuyasha watched the exchange with wide eyes. Sometimes, Miroku was rather awe inspiring. He wasn't sure whether the monk was the most dedicated lecher he'd ever seen, or if he simply had a death wish, but picking Sango as the focus of his attentions was a true act of bravery, in his opinion. And of course, all Sango and Miroku's fighting had finally distracted Kagome and had her going over to play peacemaker. Thank goodness. She'd lasted a lot longer than he'd thought she would! Miroku's actions had definitely made his life easier and kept him from losing his temper…or worse. Inuyasha supposed he owed Miroku one.

Kagome and Sango exchanged glances, each taking a moment to glare at the men next to them, and then they studiously ignored Inuyasha and Miroku as they walked past them with their noses in the air. Inuyasha glared after them...this was really starting to piss him off. What, was every day now going to end with Kagome and Sango walking away from him in a snit? He huffed out a frustrated breath. Women!

Miroku was still laying in the dirt, so as the women disappeared over the crest of the nearest hill, Inuyasha picked him up by the neck of his robes and shook him slightly to get the dirt off.

"I'm fine, Inuyasha." Miroku groaned as he was shaken like a rag doll. Grunting irritably, Inuyasha dropped him to the ground. The bruised monk pushed himself up and sat there, breathing through his mouth to deal with the pain. "I take it," he huffed, "that Kagome finally took notice and intervened?" Inuyasha nodded. "I'll have to make sure and say some prayers of thanks for her." He said, and then fell over onto his back, unconscious. Inuyasha could hear him breathing, so he left him laying there and sat down himself. Peeking out from behind Kirara first to make certain it was safe, Shippou crept out and huddled next to them both, watching Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha, is Miroku gonna be okay? He's not even moving."

"Eh, don't worry about him. He'll take a day or two to get over it and then he'll be back to normal." Inuyasha said gruffly. Shippou nodded, but was still obviously concerned.

"Why does he touch Sango like that, anyway, when he knows she's going to hurt him?"

Miroku, obviously not as dead to the world as they'd thought, mumbled, "...worth it..." before lapsing into silence, his eyes not bothering to open. Shippou waited for more, and then turned to Inuyasha again.

"What did he mean? Why does he like touching women's bottoms, huh? What's so great about them?" Inuyasha turned red and he glared at him, flustered.

"It...there's..it's...nothing! There's nothing special about Kagome's bottom at all!" he sputtered. He realized what he'd said as a small smirk appeared on Miroku's 'unconscious' face and Shippou looked at him oddly.

"I didn't ask about Kagome's..."

"Just shut up about it already, all right! It's nothing to do with you!"

Shippou glared at him and grumbled under his breath. "I was just asking, no need to get all nasty about it."

Inuyasha turned away from them both to do some muttering of his own. Miroku, acting like a lecher and making him think about Kagome that way, and stupid Sango, always taking Kagome's side in everything, hmph. Stupid women were probably talking about him right now, too, he thought angrily. Glaring at the ground, he couldn't help imagining them standing together and complaining about his vices. They always did that, half the time close enough that he could still hear them. He still wasn't sure if they did it on purpose or if they simply forgot how well he could hear.

He stiffened suddenly at the image that came into his head. He'd noticed their direction off-handedly as they'd left, so the destination had simply appeared in his head as he thought of their griping. But, if they were still going that way, then… they'd be at the bone eater's well! No, she wouldn't have tried to go back, would she? He jumped up and bounded towards the well...

…and that's how he'd ended up circling Kaede's damn hut in the middle of the damn night. He'd caught up to Kagome just before she'd gotten into the well, since going home was _exactly_ what she'd been about to do. After he carried her stiff form to the village, he'd deposited her next to the incapacitated Monk and watched her like a hawk as she'd angrily broken out her mother's dinner and eaten it savagely. He'd followed her to Kaede's for the night, but caught her sneaking back to the well _again_ when _he'd_ gone out to take a piss. Once he'd dumped her in the hut, furious and glaring at him, he'd decided to start patrolling outside, not sure he'd stay awake otherwise.

Damn good thing he did, too, because he'd stopped her trying to slip out one last time before he'd carried her, cursing and biting, back inside. Miroku, who'd barely managed to pull his sorry butt into the hut before collapsing for the night, had whined about the noise they were making, which at least made Kagome feel guilty enough that it cut the fight short.

Now he was stuck here for the rest of the night, 'cause who knew when she was going to try to get back home to that stupid Hojo? She was so damn stubborn. "I should just tie her up and be done with it." he growled as his tired body cried out for sleep. He got an image of her with bound hands, looking up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Shit." All right, so he was a wimp. She'd cry and then he'd have to let her go and then everyone would KNOW he was a wimp. At least this way, he was just a private weakling.

You're keeping her from her family, aren't you? his conscience prompted. You think that's not going to make her cry?

_Shut up._

And school? You know she really wants to go to school, how can you keep her away from that? Look how hard she works just to keep going there. Are you so selfish that you'll take everything away from her just to keep her here?

_She'd have me,_ he thought plaintively

Oh, like that makes up for anything, his conscience sneered. She has her family and friends in her own time. She'd be much better off away from demons and Naraku, and you, frankly.

He sighed sadly as he continued to walk around the hut, his ears and shoulders drooping in dejection. He was going to have to let her go back, he thought. He shouldn't have tried to stop her in the first place, idiot that he was. How could he do it, though? The thought of her around all those males, without any supervision or protection, made him feel so crazy he wanted to find something and kill it bare handed. And how could he let her go back when they'd fought so much over it already? He had his pride, right? He couldn't let others know he was so weak that one woman's feelings controlled his actions…could he? Dammit anyway. What the hell was he supposed to do now?


	7. Ch 7 Making up is Hard to Do

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Inuyasha, his body, his friends, his food, or his sword. I get nothing from this but a few laughs.

**A/N Thank you everyone for the reviews, they are so motivating!!**

Chapter 7: Making up is hard to do.

Miroku slowly rose through his sea of pain to find himself cradled against a warm body. He lay there, confused for a moment before realization came and he smiled happily. "Ah, Sango, you soft-hearted woman, I knew you couldn't stay angry at me forever." He thought sleepily. His arm twitched. Don't even think about it, he thought. His arm twitched again as he started 'not' thinking about it as hard as he could. Truly, you hentai hand, don't to it! You'll get us both killed, he thought, as his stubbornly impenitent hand started worming it's way between his body and hers, under the arm that was cradling his shoulders and headed towards…

"If that hand touches my butt, I'll bite it off," a masculine voice growled above his head.

Miroku's eyes whipped open and he stared in shock at Inuyasha's golden eyes a couple feet from his. "GAAAAH!" His hand retreated immediately and lay in his lap, shaking. "What the…what are you doing?" he exclaimed, wide awake now and taking note of his surroundings. Inuyasha was walking around Kaede's hut in the pre-dawn, holding MIroku in his arms.

"I need to talk to you." Inuyasha said quietly.

"Then put me down!" Inuyasha did so rather efficiently by dropping him on his butt. "Not that way." Miroku groaned as pain radiated through his already bruised body. "Next time, wake me up first! Oh, to think that my poor hand was almost sullied by touching your…"

"Hey, leave my rear out of this…and what do you mean, sullied? I bathed just yesterday, ya know!"

Miroku coughed into his hand. "Not quite what I meant." He murmured, and then sighed heavily from his crumpled spot on the ground. "All right, Inuyasha, what seems to be the problem?"

"Not here. I can't stop guarding the house or she might head back to her time again. Get up and walk around with me, Houshi."

"Not for love of this world or the next." Miroku said firmly. "Relax, Inuyasha. Besides, it is far too late for Kagome to have any thoughts other than sleep. Trust me." He said on a yawn. "Just sit down and tell me what, exactly, necessitated waking me before dawn."

Inuyasha looked at him for a moment, debating, before sitting cross-legged next to him. He stared at the wall of the hut.

"Well?" Miroku prompted after a few minutes of silence.

"I need your help with Kagome." Inuyasha finally said quietly.

"I thought it might be something like that." Miroku said. _Finally_. "Trying to discover a way to make peace with Kagome?"

"Sort of…"

Miroku waited for more in vain. Honestly, it was like picking rice, grain by grain. "Well, why don't you _tell_ me what you want, and what happened on Kagome-sama's side of the well, and then perhaps I can help you find a solution."

Taking a deep breath, he said, "Well, see….the thing of it is…" he gulped slightly. "I went to that school of hers and there was a boy giving her a gift! _And_ she was planning to go on a date with him…at least I think so…and.."

"Pause for a moment, Inuyasha. The gift I understand, but 'a date'? Elaborate, please. What is that, exactly?"

"From what Kagome told me, it's where a man invites a woman somewhere to be alone with him."

"Aaaah, courting, then."

"Not exactly." Inuyasha said glumly, "It doesn't have to be aimed at marriage or anything. It's just to…get a woman alone someplace."

Miroku's mouth fell open. "And this is acceptable in Kagome's time? To blatantly pursue dishonorable intentions?"

Inuyasha nodded vigorously. "According to Kagome, girls of her time actually _expect_ men to ask them to these 'dates.'"

"Don't their guardian's object?" What type of place _was_ Kagome's time?

"Uh uh. The whole thing is just wrong. Some perverted boy just comes up to Kagome and asks her to go off alone with him…and her mother wouldn't even object! She'd probably invite the bastard inside before they went off with each other! It's so fucked up…"

Miroku tried to wrap his mind around it. There would eventually be a time when the entire society condoned the blatant pursuit of young women for amorous purposes. _Why wasn't _I_ the one who could go through the well!_ He thought, disgruntled.

Kagome's time really did sound like a place of miracles and marvels, he thought, slightly envious. Of course, if it was _his_ woman who was there constantly… For some reason, Sango's face popped into his mind, and he frowned at the feelings that came with the image of her pursued by another man. "I think I can understand what has you so upset. Kagome's time isn't very secure for an unattached woman, is it?"

Inuyasha gestured emphatically as though Miroku had won an argument. "Thank you! You see why I can't let her go back now, right? If that Hojo or some other pig can get her alone just by asking her…who knows what might happen? I've got to keep her here, where I can keep her safe and… "

Miroku was shaking his head. "You're looking at this the wrong way, Inuyasha. Kagome-sama is not a statue that you can tuck away on a shelf to keep from becoming broken."

"I know that!"

"You're not acting like it!" he snapped. "Her family is on the other side of that well, Inuyasha! Nothing good can come from keeping her from them! She's obviously studying at this school of hers for whatever apprenticeship she decides on later, as well, and keeping her from that can only be to her detriment." He sighed deeply, trying to get through to his friend.

"You can't control every aspect of her life. Yes, she'd likely be safer that way…but what good is a safe cage when all she wants is freedom? She'd be miserable for the rest of her life, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha sat stiffly, his lowered ears twitching. "I know that, too," he said softly. "I just…I can't find a way to let her go when she'll be around all those males _all_ the time. I –"

"So let them know that she's already yours." Miroku suggested.

From the way Inuyasha stiffened, Miroku was sure that if there were enough light, he'd be seeing red cheeks shining next to Inuyasha's silver hair. "I- she's not mine! We're not – it's not that way."

Miroku raised an eyebrow. "Really? Then what's the problem with other men courting Kagome-sama, hmmm?"

Inuyasha sputtered for a moment and then gave up. "I…I'd like her to be…mine." he said, watching closely for any signs of mockery from Miroku. With none forthcoming, he felt safe to go on. "It's only that…I've never told her. And really, I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same way…" his voice trailed off.

Miroku was a bit stunned. He hadn't actually expected Inuyasha to confess his desires so easily. "So, why don't you profess your feelings for her?" he asked gently.

Inuyasha sat, quiet for a moment. "I don't think I can do that yet." He admitted.

"You can still make it clear to other men that she's not available though, can you not?" Miroku asked.

"Just how do I do that without letting her know how I feel?" Inuyasha growled, frustrated.

Miroku rolled his eyes. "I think your traditional approach of standing inches away from her while you glare at every male who passes by will suffice for now."

"I don't do that." Inuyasha muttered, avoiding Miroku's stare. "But maybe that would work. It's only…she's around these boys all day long in her time…am I going to have to stay next to her all day, every day, forever? It's _boring_ when she's working on school." He felt his voice edging toward whine and cleared his throat.

"Do you think you need to? After all, she can refuse these men's advances, correct?"

"Ye-es."

"And will she be alone with these men while she's at this school of hers, or be in any other situation where she might actually be in danger?"

Inuyasha tried to think about what he'd seen the few times he's peered in the windows of Kagome's school. "I don't – think so. She always seems to be sitting in a room with other students and the sensei. She's just alone with them when she's going and coming from her lessons."

"So, there's your answer. Simply stay with her until she's in with her sensei and come back again just before she's finished. Let the sensei watch over her during the day. That seems to have done a good job of keeping her safe up until now, hasn't it?"

"I suppose so…but what if.."

"Give her a little space, Inuyasha." Miroku said firmly. "If there's a problem, you can always deal with it as it comes, yes?" Inuyasha nodded reluctantly. "Then that's it then, not too difficult a problem to solve, really. Although, there is one more thing."

"What?" Inuyasha asked morosely. He'd really been hoping Miroku would have supported his initial thought of keeping Kagome in this time. Not expecting, but still hoping.

"You need to apologize."

Inuyasha's ears went flat. "What if I don't feel like it." He growled.

"Then I doubt Kagome will forgive you." Miroku said sternly. "Trying to keep a woman from her family and her home is not a small offense, Inuyasha. I can't imagine her even speaking with you unless you can show her that you are truly repentant."

Inuyasha mumbled under his breath and scuffed the ground with his toes. "I _hate_ apologizing." Miroku glared at him. "I didn't say I wouldn't do it, just that I hate it!"

Same old Inuyasha, he thought in resignation. "I'm going to bed, Inuyasha." He pulled himself up with a groan.

"Hey, you can't leave yet! You haven't told me what to say…how do I apologize?"

"That's up to you, Inuyasha." Miroku sighed. "I'm going back to sleep." Inuyasha looked completely lost and Miroku sighed again. Honestly, Inuyasha was like a big child sometimes. "Just – just let her know you were wrong and apologize, eh? At least, if that's what you really feel." Inuyasha nodded hesitantly. "Then simply tell her." He turned and hobbled back inside. Inuyasha stayed, mulling it all over as he stared at the weathered wooden wall in front of him.

xxxxx

As soon as the sun was completely up, Inuyasha walked into Kaede's and stooped by Kagome.

"Oy, Kagome, wake up." He said softly. Shippou, Miroku, and Sango still slept, and he really wanted to keep it that way. This was going to be hard enough without an audience. "C'mon Kagome, get up, I need to talk to you."

Kagome rolled over and glared at him sleepily. "Leave me alone, Inuyasha. I _don't_ want to talk to _you_." He glared back at her. Fine, he'd have to do this the hard way. He reached down and scooped her up, walking out of the house as she stiffened in his arms.

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed at him. "Didn't you do enough yesterday?" She crossed her arms and scowled as he walked out of the village with her. "Idiot," she muttered under her breath.

"I told you, I need to talk to you." He said, irritated. Couldn't she tell he was about to apologize?

"Yeah, about what?" she asked fiercely.

"Just…never mind about what." If she couldn't figure it out on her own, she could damn well wait until he was good and ready!

"AAAGH! You want to talk to me but I'm not supposed to know what you'll talk to me about…how are you going to talk to me about it then, baka?!" She didn't think she'd ever been as angry with him as she had been the past 2 days. He wouldn't let her go home and he expected her to _talk _to him? He'd be waiting a heck of a long time if he expected her to listen to _anything_ he was going to say, the…ass.

"I meant…we'll talk when we get there." He said.

"Get WHERE!" she yelled.

"To the…you'll find out when we get there, all right?"

"No it's not all right, you stupid jerk! Why can't you just leave me alone and go away!" She bit her lip, trying not to cry. She wanted to go home!

He didn't respond and walked on, muttering under his breath. As she noticed the direction they were going, she stiffened. Why were they heading to the bone eater's well? Considering he'd spent the entire night trying to keep her away from there, what could he be doing? He wasn't going to try and destroy it, was he? Her brain worked desperately as she tried to figure out what was going on as they got closer. He propped her on her feet when they arrived at the well and she looked at him warily. If he thought she would just stand by while he destroyed the only way she had to get home, he had another thing coming.

"What are you doing now, Inuyasha?" She asked, watching him with a cold stare.

"I- I wanted to say…" he stopped and wouldn't meet her gaze. Damn, this was going to be hard. Really, really hard.

Kagome looked at him closely. He looked, well, if she didn't know better, she'd say he looked almost panicked. What in the world… "What?" she asked, much less angrily than she meant to. What was going on?

"I wanted to say…" he took a deep breath and plunged ahead, "I'm sorry. You were right, I was jealous and I _hate_ Hojo and I was mad and I'm sorry I said you couldn't go back home or back to school and so…here you go." he panted from the effort.

Kagome looked up at him in surprise, her anger cooling another notch. "Did you just say…you're sorry?" He nodded, his ears twitching wildly, his hands twisting anxiously inside his Suikan sleeves. "So, you're telling me, after all you did, after everything you said, after acting like a complete jerk AND dragging me out here so rudely this morning, you're just going to say 'sorry, I made a mistake' and let me go home?" He nodded again, flinching. He knew it, she was _never_ going to forgive him. This had been such a dumb idea, why'd he let Miroku talk him into this!

She noticed his pained expression, his slightly slumped posture, and how his ears were now flattening completely against his head. Inuyasha, actually admitting he'd made a mistake, and apologizing? How often did _that_ happen? He must feel really, really awful about what he'd done for him to get to this point, she realized. What changed his mind? She stared at him, trying to figure it out.

He looked utterly and completely miserable. The sight would have made her ecstatic the day before, but somehow, it wasn't making her very happy at the moment. Darn it. She'd been so ready to tear into him, but now, how could she stay furious with him when _he_ was so obviously doing a good job of beating himself up over this? Stupid Inuyasha, blowing hot and cold, he couldn't even manage to let her get her revenge without making things complicated.

"You're really making me angry, Inuyasha." She said, and saw him wince.

"Yeah, I figured that out." He said sadly. She sighed again.

"Really, I had so much pain planned for you today, you have no idea. And now…" she paused, watching as he winced again, "now you ruin it all by standing there acting all contrite and sad and " cute, her brain added, "sorry for everything." He raised his gaze from the ground to look at her, a little glimmer of hope appearing in his eyes.

"Do you really mean it, Inuyasha? You're really sorry for what you did?" she asked quietly. "Because that- that was really, truly awful, thinking you were keeping me away from something that important to me. It was like I didn't even know you, like you didn't really care about what I felt or wanted at all." Her eyes grew moist and he was next to her instantly.

"Please don't cry." He said hoarsely. "Aaah, Kagome, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He reached out and pulled her against his chest, a little surprised when she let him. "I'll never be that stupid again, Kagome, I swear." He vowed, and he felt her body shake as she chuckled softly.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She mumbled softly against his chest, and he smiled for a moment and held her tighter. Maybe wasn't going to last forever, but for now, he could simply hold her and pretend that she really was his.

xxxxx

From the cover of some nearby brush, Sango sniffled as she watched Inuyasha and Kagome embracing, and Miroku handed her a small cloth from inside his sleeve. "I told you, " he said, "you should have a little more faith in Inuyasha. It takes him a while, but he usually does the right thing when it truly counts." He smiled to himself, watching the couple reconciling by the well. He didn't see the speculative look Sango gave him.

"Somehow, I think that he might have had a little help with this one." She said, watching him. "That was a pretty quick change in attitude for just overnight." He looked at her with large, innocent eyes.

"I can't imagine what you mean." He said, and she smiled, her eyes still blurry with happy tears for her friend.

"Of course, Houshi-sama, whatever you say." She agreed quietly, then leaned forward and lightly kissed one bruised cheek. "Thank you, anyway." Miroku sat stunned, rubbing the soft feel of her lips on his face as she rose and walked back to the village.

He would _never_ understand that woman.


	8. Ch 8 Indecency

**Disclaimer: duh, I don't own the rights to Inuyasha or anything to do with him or his story, no money flowing in from this story or anything else Inuyasha related.**

**A/N Yet again, thanks for the reviews! **

Chapter 8 – Indecency

Inuyasha's arms eventually fell away from Kagome's body. He stood next to her, covertly breathing in her scent while avoiding her eyes self-consciously. Kagome averted her own eyes as well and they both stood there, silent and uncertain what to do next. Stepping away after a few minutes, Inuyasha slipped his hands inside his sleeves as he stared at the ground. He started fidgeting nervously as neither spoke.

"So, you can go now…are you going, or what?" Inuyasha finally asked, breaking the silence in his usual impatient fashion.

"What?" Kagome said, still a bit flustered from Inuyasha's embrace. "Oh, yes. Of course. I'll…I'll just go home. For a few days.". She didn't really have anything to go back for, she'd just been trying to go back because she _couldn't_. Now that she could, well… it seemed a little ridiculous to have made it such an issue and then _not_ use the well once it was available again.

"All right, then. Let's go."

"You're coming too?" she asked in surprise.

"Of course. What, you think I'd let you go on your own?" he asked incredulously.

"That's what usually happens."

Inuyasha looked at as if she were an idiot. "Not anymore! You obviously need someone to watch out for you over there, dummy. That Hojo guy doesn't seem like he's gonna give up right away, and I bet those other stupid males are going to be sniffing around as well. I can't believe you're stupid enough to think I'd let you near that school again on your own!"

Kagome's eyelids drooped and she sighed. Wow, the sweet words and apologies just keep on flowing today, don't they, she thought. Why she'd thought the jealousy might actually have, well, stopped once he'd apologized, she didn't know. Of course, it was a little bit sweet…as long as he didn't kill anyone.

Wait a moment…who was she trying to kid, this had disaster written all over it! "So you're planning to do what, exactly?"

"I just said, didn't I? I'm protecting you from Hojo and all those other lechers." He said. "I don't know how you've managed to get by at school before, Kagome, but you don't have to worry about it anymore. I'll watch out for you now. No one will come near you when I'm around to protect you." he said, his chest puffing out a little.

She stared at him, dread flowing over her in waves. "Protect me? Inuyasha, you can't come into my school with me." She said firmly.

"Wasn't planning to. Your sensei's there during the day, right? I'll just wait for ya outside."

Taking credit for Miroku's ability to actually think, huh Inuyasha, his conscience asked snidely.

_Hey, I woulda thought of it soon, too!_

That's the spirit. Stay positive.

_Aw, fuck you._

"You can't kill anyone either, Inuyasha!" Kagome warned, at the same time slightly relieved that he didn't plan on completely invading her school. Of course, imagining him away from the shrine and in the school yard _every day_, and just how much trouble he might be able to get into, gave her chills.

"Feh, like I'd waste the energy to kill some wimpy humans. I'll just smack 'em a couple of times and they'll learn to stop bothering you."

She rolled her eyes, this could end up so badly, she thought, but she wasn't able to think of any way to dissuade him at the moment. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait at the shrine? If I needed you, I could call." He looked outraged at the suggestion and she sighed again.

"Didn't think so." She muttered. Great, just great. Just solve this later, Higurashi, she thought. The way things were looking, she'd better get through the well now before he had time to think and changed his mind. "Let's just go."

Inuyasha nodded, put an arm around her waist, and jumped into the well. It was only as the lights enveloped them that Kagome remembered, "Hey, wait, what about my books!"

xxxxx

Kagome grumbled as she got dressed in a clean uniform. After the annoyance of going _back_ through the well for her books that still lay in a heap at the bottom, and back through to the present again, she'd realized she could make it to school today, since Inuyasha had awoken her at the crack of dawn. She was surprised with a jaw popping yawn and wondered if she'd make it through the day without passing out. And what was she going to do about Inuyasha? Jeez, he was so jealous all the time. If only she could believe that he was jealous because he actually loved her. Unfortunately, she was pretty much convinced that he viewed her more as a friend, a useful tool, and possibly a possession. But if that's all she could get…well, she'd take it for now. She did love the big ox, after all. Although how he could be so sweet and such a jerk at the same time, she just couldn't figure out.

She walked downstairs to find Inuyasha making a complete pig of himself at the breakfast table as her mother smiled and hovered over him. Her grandfather looked up from his food and muttered something about 'unnatural grandchildren' when he saw her in her school uniform. Why couldn't he understand that she _liked_ school! She used to be good at her classes too, before the Feudal era had interfered. Man, could she even remember what it was like to actually know what was going on at school anymore?

She sighed to herself. At least Inuyasha had recovered from his little bout of jealousy induced insanity, thank goodness. Well, somewhat recovered, she corrected, thinking of the upcoming walk to school with him hovering the entire way. She shook her head to clear it: later, Higurashi! Now wasn't the time to worry about Inuyasha, it was time to look forward…to breakfast!

Her mother already had a plate piled high with goodies for her, and she smiled at her in gratitude. "Thanks mom, "she said, eyeing everything with rapturous eyes, "this all looks fantastic!" Inuyasha nodded happily as he stuffed his face.

"uh-huh, it's really good. Not like Ka-" he paused and swallowed his food quickly, averting his eyes from Kagome's annoyed glare. Her mom covered a grin with her hand as Kagome watched. Mom always seemed to find Inuyasha's bad manners a source of amusement rather than annoyance. Wish she could teach _me_ that trick, Kagome thought enviously.

"So, are you going to stay with us today, Inuyasha?" Mrs. Higurashi asked.

"Maybe some of the day…I've got to walk Kagome to school first."

"Oh?"

Inuyasha didn't notice the curious look he was receiving as he concentrated on his food. "Yeah, gotta make sure that Hojo…Uh, I mean, I just want to make sure Kaogme is safe on the walk to school." Mrs. Higurashi hid another grin with her hand and peeked slyly at Kagome's red face.

"I take it this is something you plan to do more often, then?"

"Uh huh." Slurp slurp, chomp.

"That's very kind of you. It will be so nice not to worry about Kagome walking home alone all the time. Actually, I bought something after the last time you were here that might make things easier, if you'd care to try it out." Inuyasha looked up finally, his ears pricking forward curiously.

"Yeah?"

"A nice set of modern clothes so you won't feel so out of place."

He cocked his head. "Out of place? What do you mean? I don't feel out of place."

Kagome rolled her eyes. That's because _I'm_ the one who has to deal with all the odd looks thrown our way. "How about you try them on anyway, huh, Inuyasha? For me?" she asked. He might look kinda cute, decked out in something normal for a change.

"Well, I suppose… Uh, thanks." he said slowly. Mrs. Higurashi clapped her hands and started out the door.

"I'll just go pop them in the bathroom upstairs, then! I can't wait to see you in them…you'll love them, I just know it!" She hurried out of the room, and Inuyasha shrugged and went back to eating.

20 minutes later, Kagome was pounding on the bathroom door. "Inuyasha, will you come out already! I'm going to be late for school."

The door slammed open and an irritated Inuyasha stood in the doorway wearing the same bright red clothes he'd worn when he'd gone in. "Then help me get the rest of these stupid clothes, will ya? Your mother forgot some of it."

"What have you been doing in there all this time!" She yelled, ignoring everything but his state of dress. "I'm going to be late if we don't leave right away!"

"I've been putting on these idiotic future clothes, what do you think! Can't you tell?" She stared at him. What was he talking about, he still had on his fire rat robes! Then she noticed…peeking out from the side slits in his hakama were the stitched sides of a pair of jeans. When she took a good look at his Suikan, she noticed a blue sleeve showing through at the shoulder instead of his usual white kimono.

"Do you…are you wearing mom's clothes _under_ yours?" she asked, trying not to snort.

"Duh! What else am I supposed to do, she didn't give me the rest of it! And these stupid things feel like they're strangling my legs." He complained, itching at his thigh.

"Uh, Inuyasha, "she couldn't help it, she giggled, "there isn't supposed to be anything over those. That's it."

"Very funny, Kagome, or did you forget I've seen what your grandfather wears, and it looks nothing like these dumb things."

She giggled again. "Yeah, but he's the keeper of the shrine. Visitor's expect more formal dress from him. Didn't you notice what Souta and the other men wear when we leave the house?"

"No, why would I? Kids wear all sorts of weird crap, and why would I even care what some stupid human bastard is wearing?"

Kagome shook her head, but kept smiling. "Well, they were wearing what you've got on. So, c'mon, take off the fire rat robes and let's go." He made no move to touch the clothes and her smile faded. Couldn't he be just a little helpful? Ugh. "Inuyasha, we need to go, hurry up."

When he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her, she glared back and took matters into her own hands. "Stubborn baka." She muttered and reached out to help him with the suikan. Inuyasha jumped back into the bathroom with a yelp.

"What are you doing!" Inuyasha's eyes were wide.

_Is she trying to take off my CLOTHES? _

No, she's shooting arrows at you, mocked his conscience. Of course she's taking off your clothes.

_Why is she taking off my clothes!?_

Far be it from me to corrupt the innocent.

_What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean? Hey, answer me! What is she doing?_

"I'm helping you off with these, you dummy. I don't want to be late again. Now will you just stand still and cooperate so we can be on time for once?!" she followed him into the bathroom, reaching out again to snag the tie on his hakama. Her arms brushed against his groin as she struggled with the tie and he was mortified to fell himself harden almost instantly. It was damn tight inside this stupid future hakama all of a sudden, he thought uncomfortably. Realizing suddenly that his arousal was likely to be exposed in a very public and humiliating manner if Kagome succeeded, he panicked. He slapped at her hands, bobbing around to avoid her as she reached for him again.

"Stop that! Get away from me, Kagome! Hey, don't touch that!" he yelled as she managed to get a hand on the tie holding his top together. "Dammit, cut it out!" Why wouldn't she just leave him alone? He didn't want her to see this; she'd completely freak out!

Souta, who was passing in the hallway on his way downstairs, stared at seeing his sister pulling on Inuyasha's clothes. He looked for a second and then averted his eyes and headed downstairs. He really _didn't_ want to know what they were doing. He was very glad of his decision as he heard Inuyasha yell out loudly, "That's indecent, Kagome, leave it alone!" _Really, REALLY_ didn't want to know what they were doing.

Kagome stumbled back as Inuyasha gave her a shove. He grabbed for his hakama just in time to rescue it from falling to his ankles, swearing. She watched in irritation as he tucked his fire rat Suikan back into place, retying his hakama hurriedly. "What is your problem, Inuyasha?"

"My problem?" he asked, frustrated beyond belief. It wasn't like he could tell her the real reason! "My problem is that you're trying to get me to go outside in these- these skimpy clothes without anything else on, that's my problem!"

Skimpy clothes? his conscience asked incredulously.

_It was spur of the moment, you asshole! Live with it!_

"Skimpy? You mean, the jeans and shirt?"

"If that's what these stupid things are called, then yeah." he growled.

"You call those skimpy? Wait a second…are you blushing? Over wearing jeans? That's – that's…" really cute. Inuyasha, slayer of demons and all things annoying, was blushing. Which sorta made sense, now that she thought about it. When was the last time she'd seen Inuyasha with more than his hands and feet showing, unless he was injured? Goodness, even if he fell in a lake, he'd just wear his clothes as they dried. Was he that modest?

"No! I'm not blushing!" he shouted. He was just flushed because her damn groping had him harder than a rock! "I just… What kind of idiot would go around in clothes like this? They're tight, and uncomfortable, and they completely show your legs! It's indecent to wear clothes like that, that's all!" he cut himself off suddenly as he took note of Kagome's face, which had changed suddenly from amused to, well…just plain scary.

"Indecent?" she asked slowly, "So…are you saying _I'm_ indecent?"

"WHAT? I didn't say that at all!"

"Because I wear clothes that show my legs ALL THE TIME!"

"But, th-that's just you. You always wear weird clothes…it's not the same…" he stepped back from her as she shook a fist in his face.

"Is this what you've been thinking all this time? That I'm some kind of pervert or something?"

"Well, not once I got to know you…" his eyes widened and he covered his mouth with his hand. Oh shit, he had NOT meant to let that out. Watching as her eyes glowed red, he thanked all the Gods that the necklace was no longer around his neck.

"YOU DID! I can't believe it, you DID think that! Oh my God, all this time, and you've been thinking that and…and I thought… " her eyes glared even more fiercely. "Is that why you get jealous all the time? Is that why you keep fighting with Kouga, and Hojo, and….you think I'm some sort of indecent harlot who would just ignore my responsibilities and go off with any man who asks me or something?" At his wide eyed stare, she scowled, "You do, don't you? You are a disgusting pig with your mind in the gutter, Inuyasha!"

"What? No, what are you talking about? This is crazy…I just don't like the stupid clothes! How the hell did this get to Kouga and Hojo! "

"Oh, so now I'm crazy?" she yelled, punching him in the chest.

"NO! Hell, Kagome, calm down! Just…" he couldn't think of what to say that wasn't going to backfire. Crap, how did he end an argument like this when he wasn't being SAT into the ground? How in the world did other people deal with this? "Shit, will you just calm down and get to school or something?"

She froze.

"Aaaaagh, now look, you've even made me late for school! This is all you're fault Inuyasha, you baka!" She turned and ran downstairs, grabbed her bookbag and sprinted outside, angrily yelling out a quick "itte kimasu" as she passed her mother. Inuyasha, you insensitive, rude… Baka! Baka, baka, baka! . Her breath wooshed out of her as the Baka came up from behind and picked her up. "What do you think you're doing?" She said, smacking him.

"I don't care how mad you are, you're still not going to school by yourself!" He growled. She glared at him, but pride took a backseat to school for a moment.

"Can you get me there in time?" she snapped.

"Probably."

"Then stop and let me on your back, dummy, you can go faster that way."


	9. Ch 9 The Best Laid Plans of Foxes & Men

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, the characters, or anything else involving that cool series. And wouldn't it be neat if I made any money on it, as opposed to the nada I actually do make at the moment.**

**A/N Oh wow…thank you so much for the reviews. I know I write what makes _me_ laugh, but it's nice to know that others are actually getting a kick out of this too! **

CHAPTER 9: The Best Laid Plans of Foxes and Men

By the end of the school day, Kagome had realized 3 things.

1) Inuyasha was an insensitive idiot who rarely thought before he spoke.

2) She'd known that forever and thinking that he'd suddenly change made _her_ an idiot.

3) If he'd really thought any of the things she'd accused him of, he would have said something about it a long time ago because, well, refer back to point #1.

So as she walked into the school yard after classes ended, she was well past being angry anymore. Seeing him waiting for her, back in his red robes with the white kimono underneath, baseball cap firmly in place, she shook her head. He just looked so ridiculous stalking towards her in that mismatched get up, glaring at every boy he passed on the way, that she had to giggle. As she suddenly noticed her friends converging on her position, however, the urge to laugh faded and she grimaced. She'd managed to avoid being cornered by them all day so far, but now…time to face the music.

Inuyasha, who'd stepped up the pace once he saw her, arrived first. He stared at her with shadowed eyes, hovering on the edge between worry and annoyance about the next few minutes. Poor Inuyasha, sometimes she forgot just how…fragile…he could be, in spite of his tough attitude. He'd had so little softness in his life, no wonder he was worried. He probably thought what friendship they had might disappear if they got too angry with each other. She stepped forward and took his hand with a smile.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha."

"Uh, you are?" his surprised look had her smile a little wider.

"Yeah. I shouldn't have pushed you into doing something you were uncomfortable with. I know I'd hate it if you'd tried something like that with me. Especially when it's something you viewed as, well, indecent and all…"

"EEEEK!" a squeal in triple stereo behind her had her turning around quickly. Three sets of eyes stared at her in shock and she was roughly yanked into a circle of 'friends.' Interrogation was immediate.

"Indecent? What have you been doing with this guy, Kagome?!" Eri asked

"Yeah, what kind of relationship do you two have, anyway?" Yuka glanced back and forth between Inuyasha and Kagome suspiciously.

"Does he have a brother?" asked Ayumi hopefully.

Kagome pressed her hands to her hot cheeks and struggled to find something to say. "It's-it's not like that! We're not even dating!"

They all looked at her as though that made it even worse.

"Wait, if he's not your boyfriend…is this the guy who asked you to have his baby???" Eri looked over at Inuyasha in gleeful horror.

"Oooooh, I bet he is! With that long hair and those old fashioned clothes, trying to look all mysterious. I bet he's a total hentai!" Yuka concluded as she and Eri nodded to each other in perfect accord.

"But he's still kinda cute." Ayumi mumbled under her breath.

Inuyasha's patience ran out at that point and he shoved Yuka and Eri aside, grabbing Kagome's hand. "Will you vultures shut up already? Kagome has to get home and she doesn't need all this shit from you. Crap, you'd think you could just mind your own damn business or something!" He pulled Kagome away from the annoying, yapping women and turned to go. They stared after them with identical expressions of offended surprise, but at least this time they didn't follow them out.

"Shit, Kagome, is everyone in your time an idiot or somethin'?" he said as he started dragging her off the school grounds. "I mean, I knew I was going to have to look out for all these damn boys, but I didn't know the girls would be assholes too!"

"I- they're not! They're just, well, looking out for me." …in their own annoying way, admittedly, but still…

"Looking out for you? Looking out for something to accuse you of, is what it looks like." Dammit, here they went again. Kagome _always_ thought people were better than they really were. How the hell did she survive on her own this long?! Man, protecting her at school was really going to be a chore if she never figured out just how nasty people could really be.

"Inuyasha! That's not fair; they're not like that!"

"Feh, like I believe that. They just better not pull any of that sort of shit with you while I'm around or they'll regret it." He muttered, and continued the walk back to the shrine, still holding her hand.

Kagome rolled her eyes and let the subject drop. It just wasn't worth arguing over, and it wasn't like he'd really doing anything to her friends anyway. Probably.

As they walked, Kagome found herself periodically glancing down at where their hands met. She couldn't stop herself. Why was it that she could cook for him, spend all day with him, sleep near him…heck, even spend some of the day riding around on his back…and it was no problem? But right now, the warmth of his hand holding hers made her completely self-conscious? She couldn't take her mind of the feel of his skin, the slight roughness of his calloused hand as it rubbed against her own.

Jeez, girl, you are seriously nuts, she thought to herself. How can you want to kill him in the morning and get all gooey inside by the afternoon? It's ridiculous! Get a grip, Kagome!

To her chagrin, Inuyasha was oblivious. "Hey, Kagome, do you think you could have everything ready to leave by tonight?" he asked.

"Uh, sure. Why?"

"We haven't looked for a jewel shard in ages. We'll do better on an early start if we go back tonight."

"Oh. Okay, sure. That sounds fine." She mumbled, sighing. Why did she keep hoping he felt something more for her? How pathetic. "Just fine."

xxxxxxxx

The next morning, just as the sun made its way over the horizon, Kagome and Sango watched Inuyasha pace impatiently on the road out of the village, while Shippou and Kirara simply lounged on the ground, half asleep again.

"Miroku!" Inuyasha yelled, "What the hell is taking so long? Everyone else is waiting for you, you idiot Houshi, get your ass moving and let's go!"

"Inuyasha!"

He flinched and looked next to him into Kagome's brown eyed glare. "What?"

"You don't have to be so rude, you know." She said, yawning.

"Well…he doesn't have to be so damn slow! What the hell is he doing in there anyway, laying eggs? He and Kaede-sama are taking forever."

"Actually, I'm not really sure…" Kagome said slowly.

"Herbs!" Sango blurted out.

"Yeah, herbs…he needs lots of herbs." Shippou echoed, sitting up straighter and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Inuyasha and Kagome exchanged glances and Kagome shrugged. "She does have a lot of herbal remedies, I guess." Kagome said. She jumped when Inuyasha yelled again.

"It's about damn time, Miroku! Come on! Hurry it up!"

Miroku, finally visible in front of Kaede's, ignored him as he bowed low at the shadowed entrance and then strolled away from Kaede's hut towards Inuyasha.

"Calm yourself, Inuyasha. A small pause before we start the journey will not affect our search for the shards, now will it?" Miroku asked reasonably as he neared them.

"It could." Inuyasha muttered childishly as he glared at him. Miroku ducked his head to stifle a chuckle, and then slid his gaze to Shippou briefly.

"You must think we're all stupid, Inuyasha." Shippou said as soon as he caught Miroku's glance. "Admit it, you just want a chance to carry Kagome around." Inuyasha's head swung around like a dog going on point and his eyes narrowed as quickly as his cheeks turned red.

"What did you say, runt?"

Shippou poofed into a clone of Inuyasha with the addition of a small foxtail. Inuyasha II clasped his hands against his chest dramatically and started speaking in a high, falsetto voice. "Oh, Kagome, if only I could carry you around on my back all day long." He sighed longingly. "All I want to do is feel your lovely body close to me and…"

"Why you little pervert! You are dead, brat!" Inuyasha roared as he leapt after Shippou, who had wisely started to run down the trail as soon as Inuyasha started yelling.

Kagome stared after them with her mouth open, but oddly enough, Sango was ignoring them completely and had raised an eyebrow at the nearby Miroku. 'Lovely body?' she mouthed at him silently, and he grinned rather sheepishly and shrugged.

"It was effective, wasn't it?" he whispered quietly to her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Stop corrupting him, you Hentai." She admonished softly, and then raised her voice to call to Kagome. "I'll go after them, Kagome. " Kagome nodded briefly, still rather confused.

Miroku watched Sango as she leapt onto Kirara and they took off. He rubbed a finger over his lips speculatively as he stared after her. Ever since he'd caressed Sango during Inuyasha and Kagome's spat, he couldn't get the feel of her off his mind. Memories of that brief span of time were putting rather graphic thoughts into his head at the most unexpected moments. And now, ever since that pre-dawn discussion with Inuyasha, he'd been…distracted. Thinking of Sango with other men had been vividly unpleasant, to say the least.

At the same time, he couldn't imagine such a vibrant woman as Sango living out the rest of her life alone. However, the only alternative to an unknown husband or life-long solitude was one that he was a little leery of embracing. Contemplating that level of commitment, with so much uncertainty in his life, was more than he was willing to do just yet. But still… He rubbed his finger over his lips again, thinking of her body once more.

I wonder what Sango tastes like?

"Uh, Miroku, shouldn't we be following?" Kagome interrupted his thoughts.

Flushing, he looked over at her and smiled, trying to cover his surprise. "Oh, of course, of course. Before I forget, though, I…have something that Kaede-sama asked me to give to you."

"Really? She didn't mention it earlier."

He smiled brightly, still trying to regain his equilibrium. To be caught fantasizing like that... "I believe she'd forgotten. Here," he reached into the neck of his robes and pulled out a small bundle of red silk, no bigger than a yen piece, tied with a thin blue silk cord. "This can help strengthen your abilities against certain types of youkai."

Kagome looked at the bundle curiously. "Really? What is it?" She asked, starting to untie the cord.

"Careful, please." said Miroku, "Do not touch the contents, Kagome-sama." She stopped unwinding the cord immediately.

"What's wrong? Is it a spell?"

He waved his hands genially as he exhaled. "No, no, nothing like that. It's simply an herb from the mainland that has special properties. But it's also quite deadly. I would hate for you to get any of it on your hands and accidentally ingest it later." he glanced up nonchalantly, reassuring himself that Inuyasha was still out of sight. "You're welcome to open it if you like, just be careful, please."

She nodded and slowly unwrapped the bundle to find a small sprig of dried purple flowers. "How pretty." She said, wrapping them back up after a brief look. "What is it called?"

"Monkshood…I believe Kaede-sama thought the name made me the appropriate bearer of the gift." He said wryly, and she laughed.

"Well, I guess that's a good name for something that works against demons, too."

"Quite definitely." He gestured to the bundle as she finished tying the blue cord around it. "I understand you may have to wear it close to your body for a few days for the full effects to be felt, so now might be the best moment to try it on. Hopefully, it can be at full strength if we encounter any dangerous situations."

She looked at him curiously while putting a loop of the cord around her neck. "If you say so." She said, tucking it under the collar of her shirt.

Miroku glanced down the road again and added, "I'd also appreciate it if you told any –interested parties- that this was from Kaede-sama and let my name remain unmentioned for the moment."

"Huh? Why?"

Miroku smiled. "Considering how things turned out the _last_ time Inuyasha saw a man giving you gifts, I think it might be best not to test his limits, even if I am simply passing along another's offerings."

"Aaaah, forgot about that for a moment." She glanced along the road as well before nodding. "From Kaede, definitely."

"Thank you, Kagome-sama. You're graciousness is appreciated." He said gallantly, and she smiled. Sometimes she really wished Inuyasha would be a little more like Miroku, at least when it came to manners. The roaming hands she could do without, but no one could ever deny that Miroku could be as smooth as silk when he wanted to be.

"Shall we catch up to the others?" he said, starting down the path.

"Sure, sure. Of course." She said quickly, and followed behind. Maybe I should ask him give Inuyasha some lessons, she speculated.

xxxxxx

Inuyasha's temper had blown over quickly, as usual, but Sango and Shippou stayed on Kirara for the entire day, just as a precaution. Unfortunately, Shippou's stupid stunt had made Inuyasha so self-conscious that he'd studiously avoided Kagome for most of the trip. Since she hadn't brought her bicycle this time around, that meant she was stuck walking or riding Kirara. And since Kirara was up in the air keeping Shippou out of harms way, that left…walking. Kagome's feet were killing her! To top it all off, having to walk made their pace so slow that they hadn't been able to make it to the next village. They had to rough it in the woods for the night.

With aching feet and a cold, hard bed to look forward to, Kagome's temper was completely frayed. She slumped on the ground against a fallen tree and looked at Shippou as he scampered around the camp. If not for his ridiculous mimicry…maybe I should let Inuyasha smack Shippou around more often, if he's making comments like that about me, anyway, she thought grumpily.

As always, when this was put to the test not more than 15 minutes later, Kagome couldn't let him get pounded. She sighed, watching as Inuyasha started to chase the kitsune around the campsite. If Shippou had been a little older, she might be tempted to let him have it, but as it was….

Inuyasha had just about grabbed Shippou when he felt a small thump in the back of his head. "Wha-?" he stopped and turned, rearing back as a stone whizzed through the air and missed his face by inches.

"Oops, sorry Inuyasha." Said Kagome casually. "I didn't think you'd turn around after that first one."

"Did you just throw a rock at me?" he asked, instantly transferring his irritation from Shippou to Kagome.

"Uh-huh."

"What the hell for?"

Kagome rolled her eyes and didn't even bother to get up from her sitting position. "I want you to leave Shippou alone."

"So what! That doesn't mean you should throw rocks at me!"

"Well, I can't sit you anymore, can I? And it's not like you'd listen if I asked you to stop."

"You could at least try it first before pelting me with pebbles, you idiot! OW!" he cried out as another rock flew in and smacked him in the nose.

"Oops." Kagome said insincerely, glaring at him. "Sorry, it slipped. Guess it's a good thing you're a hanyou and it doesn't hurt, huh?"

"Why you little…" Inuyasha growled, and started towards her.

Miroku broke in, "Excuse me, Inuyasha, but you may want to…"

"Stay out of this, Houshi!" Inuyasha said, "This is between Kagome and me. That goes for you too!" he said, glaring quickly at Sango, who blinked at him in surprise. "Don't even think about pulling the same Kirara trick you pulled this morning." He turned back to Kagome, who was now standing and looking just the smallest bit nervous.

"What are you doing, Inuyasha?" she asked warily, trying to sound in control.

"I've had about enough of this shit, Kagome." He said angrily, stalking closer.

"Enough of what?" she asked. What was he going to do? He wasn't going to start grabbing her again, was he?

"You! You insult me, you slap me, you kick me, you give me orders as though I'm an idiot, you even tried to take off my clothes!"

"Eh, what was that?' interrupted Miroku, his ears perking up until Sango smacked him.

Inuyasha ignored him, "…and now you don't even bother talking to me at all, you just start throwing shit at me! "

Kagome hmphed, anger coming to her rescue. "What the heck am I supposed to do?! Violence is the only thing that ever sticks in that stupid hard head of yours! Whenever I actually try to talk to you, YOU NEVER LISTEN!"

Inuyasha was now inches away from her and they glared at each other. "Well, maybe if you started talking to me now, I'd start listening, you ever think of that!" he yelled in her face.

"No, I didn't!" she yelled back, and they both scowled, panting as though they'd run a race. As the tense silence lengthened, they continued their antagonistic staring contest, their breathing slowing. Inuyasha stared down at her and found himself distracted by the glisten of sunset caught in her hair. As she finally averted her eyes, he noticed the brush of her long eyelashes against cheeks that were blooming with color even as he watched.

What were they arguing about again?

Kagome chewed at her lip for a moment, and Inuyasha's gaze was snared by the small movement. Following the path of her little pink tongue, he watched, mesmerized, as she licked her lips self-consciously. Last time, she had tasted so good... He leaned in and realized that he was so close he could see the silky hair next to her cheek move slightly as he exhaled. He gulped nervously. So close… His hand moved forward and cupped her cheek. Her skin always felt so damn soft, he thought, brushing his thumb across her slightly parted lips.

He brought up his other hand and ended with both of them buried in her hair as she looked back up at him with rosy cheeks and those dark, vulnerable eyes. How can she be this sweet, he wondered, inhaling slightly, and leaned in. His lips pressed against hers softly, eschewing any further pressure as he simply let himself feel her, breathing in the interesting new scent on her skin and her hair and…

"Ahem."

Inuyasha and Kagome jumped apart and slightly dazed eyes looked over at Miroku, who smiled broadly and gave them a little wave. Inuyasha's face glowed brighter than Kagome's.

"Eh…just, don't do it again, dammit!" Inuyasha said, flustered and obviously even more angry at being so. He looked down at Kagome's face for one more moment as though compelled before turning rather clumsily away, heading to the other end of the camp. Kagome stared after him, her hand covering her now bereft lips, while Shippou and Sango stood next to Miroku and sighed.

"Why'd you do that, Miroku?" whispered Shippou, "It was just getting good!" Miroku bopped him on the head.

"There are some things between a couple that deserve privacy." He said softly.

"But we spy on them all the time…" Shippou started to say, and Miroku grabbed his ear and bent down, whispering fiercely.

"Let me rephrase, then. There are some things between a couple that they need to _believe _are private moments, hmmmm?" He let go and stood up as Shippou rubbed his ear. Sango gave Miroku a sardonic look.

"Pervert." She said quietly out of the side of her mouth.

"If I was really such a hentai, I wouldn't have said anything. In fact, considering that _I'm_ the one who interrupted them, doesn't that make _you_ the pervert?" Miroku pointed out.

Sango snorted. "I was just about to step in, Houshi."

"Of _course_ you were." He replied with a twist to his lips. "Although, if memory serves, you were sitting right next to me behind the bushes the last few times, weren't you?" He asked. His voice positively sang. "Sango's a hentai." Grinning innocently, he reached out to rub her backside. She paused for a moment before knocking him flat.

"You are such an idiot, Houshi." She muttered. Rubbing his cheek, he couldn't hold back a laugh.

"Only where you're concerned, Sango." He said, smiling at Sango's suddenly red face. "Only where you're concerned."

xxxxxxxx

The next morning they started out early, with Inuyasha grumbling constantly since Kagome had only brought a week's worth of ramen. Or rather, a week's worth of ramen until Inuyasha got a hold of it. As it stood, they had just stopped by the side of a rutted dirt track for their ramen-deficient lunch when Kagome looked up towards the mountains north of them and yelled out.

"I sense jewel shards, Inuyasha. They're coming closer!" Everyone immediately stood up and readied their weapons, staring northwards.

Inuyasha tried to catch a scent in the air. "I don't smell Naraku, at least. Although…"

"It's 2 shards, coming in fast." Kagome said, concentrating. "I think it might be…"

"Kouga!" Inuyasha spat out, catching his scent, and then grinned suddenly. "Oh Kouga, you are dead! I'm gonna kick your ass so hard your children will be born dizzy! Man, this is gonna be a _great_ day!"

Kagome turned to him, "Don't you dare, Inuyasha! Kouga-kun is a friend!"

"He's no friend of mine!" He growled back at her. "And he wants to make you _more_ than a friend, don't forget! I'm sorry, but this time he is one dead wolf."

Kagome stomped her foot. "Inuyasha! You will not – " she stopped as his hand covered her mouth and he looked serious for a moment.

"Kagome, there are a lot of things I would do for you," he said quietly. "but not this. I'm sorry, but that mangy wolf is not going to just stroll in and flirt with you and try to take you away from me without suffering the consequences. You can't ask me to just ignore that sort of crap." He stared at her and felt himself wavering at the look in her eyes. NO, he was not going to give in on this! Kouga was never going to leave Kagome alone if he didn't beat the ever-loving shit out of him. Didn't she understand how dangerous he was?

He stared at Kagome some more, feeling her lips, soft and fluttering, against the palm of his hand. Wavering, wavering….no! "I – if he doesn't come near you, I'll leave him alone, okay? Okay? Feh." He let go of her mouth and turned away, snarling. Wimp, he growled at himself. Stupid idiot, can't even say no to stupid Kagome and….

We need to take that wolf down, his conscience said firmly.

_Like I needed your permission._

Well actually…

_Give it up, I ain't ever needed your permission before and I'm not about to start now._

Fine. Wise ass. I bet Kagome gets permission from _her_ conscience before she tries to do anything, his conscience grumbled.

_Yeah, well I bet her conscience is a hell of a lot nicer than you!_

And whose fault is that?

_Oh just shut up, will ya?_ Inuyasha ordered, and waited impatiently for his rival to arrive.

His thoughts refused to settle. Why couldn't Kagome understand? Inuyasha grumbled to himself. Kouga had already taken her away once, didn't she think he'd do it again? Did she think it was some kind of joke? That Kouga wouldn't have tried something a long time ago if Inuyasha hadn't stopped him? Why couldn't she see him for what he was? Why was she always seeing the best in people where it didn't exist? Aaargh, she was driving him crazy.

Kagome, meanwhile, was thinking about Inuyasha's words.

"…_take you away from me_… Is that what he said?" Kagome thought as she stared into the air. She knew he got jealous of everyone and everything that took time away from him and the jewel shards, but did he actually care if someone took her away from just him? He'd hated Kouga for so long, she had a hard time thinking that it even had anything to do with her any more. Except, what he'd just said made it sound like it did. Darn it, why did he have to be so hard to figure out?

Miroku glanced briefly at the couple before turning to Sango and Shippou. "You ready?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know, Houshi-sama," Sango said reluctantly. "Inuyasha did have a point last night, don't you think? Have we become so used to his obstinacy that we don't even bother to reason with him? Aren't we doing exactly what he and Kagome argued over?"

"Well of course we are." Miroku said with a grin. "Yes, reason is the first resort of a thinking being. However, when it comes to Kouga, Inuyasha ceases to be a thinking being. He's emotion and muscle at that point."

Shippou laughed and Sango shook her head. "Houshi…"

"I truly think this is our best chance to deal with the situation, especially as Myouga should already be on his way back. The timing couldn't be better. I don't think any of us believe this difficulty will simply go away on its own, do we?" They both shook their heads. "Still, if you both feel that we should stop, I'll accede to your wishes. We should do this together or not at all." Miroku said, still speaking in a low voice.

Shippou and Sango shared a look and sighed in unison. "We'll do it." They both said. Sango hopped onto Kirara and took off into the air. Shippou headed over closer towards Inuyasha, and Miroku went to stand a short distance from Inuyasha as well. It shouldn't be long now, Miroku thought, just as wind funnel appeared through the trees headed in their direction. The funnel spun up to them in moments, coming to a halt just in front of Kagome to reveal Kouga, hands on his hips and grinning broadly.

"Oy, Kagome! How is my mate doing this lovely afternoon?" He called out loudly. Inuyasha growled low in his throat and Kouga sniffed the air. "Hey, is that dog shit I smell?" he asked, turning around. "Oh, my mistake. It's just you, mongrel. You been taking care of my woman for me?"

"Get away from Kagome, you bastard." Inuyasha spat, and reached for his sword.

"Look out, Inuyasha!" Sango cried out as she and Kirara dove at his position. He jumped back a few feet to avoid being hit as they just skimmed the ground before making it back into the sky.

"What the hell's wrong with you!" Inuyasha yelled, shaking a fist up at her. Stupid Taijiya! Looking back at Kouga, he reached for Tessaiga again.

"Kazaana!" Inuyasha heard just as he felt a huge pull sideways.

"What the hell!" he yelled out as he was pulled off his feet and into the air. The air shrieked past for a moment, and then went silent and he fell heavily onto the ground. He stood up and shook his head, trying to get his bearings. What just happened…?

"Aagh, Inuyasha, catch them, catch them! They're gonna fall!" Inuyasha looked up at Shippou's scream to see a few small bits hurtling towards him. He didn't even pause before jumping up and grabbing what he could catch, a few in each hand. He landed with a thump and held out the contents of his hands in disgust towards Shippou.

"Shippou, I don't have time for any more of this crap, whatever it is, so shut up until I deal with Kouga!" he yelled, and then cursed as he was suddenly dragged to the ground by the objects in his hands. "Fucking hell!" On one hand were 2 large rocks, and on the other were 3, each with a familiar sutra on top. "Shippou, I am going to kill you, you dirty little sneak! Get these offa me!" he roared, pulling ineffectively at his now trapped hands.

"So-sorry, Inuyasha, "Shippou stuttered, nervously looking to Miroku for an encouraging nod. "But I won't take them off…and you might as well stop trying to do it yourself, " he said as Inuyasha pushed as hard as he could with his legs against the boulders, "you know they won't budge until the sutra comes off."

"You rotten little kitsune bastard, GET THESE OFF ME!" he yelled.

"Bwahahahaha!"

Inuyasha glared sideways as he heard Kouga start laughing his ass off. "Shut up, you stupid wolf."

"…hahahahahahahaha…"

"Shut up! Why don't you come over here, you bastard, and see how easy it is to laugh once I kick your teeth in!"

Kouga was on the ground at this point. "….hahahahahah – wheeze – hahahahahaha…."

"Shut the hell up! SHIPPOU! I swear, if you don't let me up now, I am going to KILL you as soon as I get free. KILL. YOU." Shippou's eyes got wide and he took a step towards Inuyasha.

"Don't do it, Shippou." Miroku said quickly, and Inuyasha whipped his head around, trying to see the Monk standing behind him.

"This was your idea, wasn't it? That's what that stupid crap was, your damn wind tunnel! You set me up, you rotten, two-timing, scheming, low-life, pathetic excuse for a houshi! What the hell are you all playing at! LET ME UP!"

During all of this, an amazed Kagome watched with her mouth hanging open. She saw Inuyasha avoid Sango, saw Miroku opened his wind tunnel to target Inuyasha, and was now looking at her poor hanyou trapped face down on the ground. And she couldn't figure out what the heck what was going on. What did they think they were doing? She started to walk over to Inuyasha to set him free when Sango landed in front of her on Kirara and shook her head.

"I don't think you should do that, Kagome."

"What in the world are you all doing? What's going on!"

"Kagome, "Sango said, "if we don't control Inuyasha right now, you know he's going to kill Kouga, right? If you can just warn Kouga not to come around anymore and get him to leave, we can probably end this without blood being spilt. But only as long as Inuyasha stays trapped. Can you do it? Can you warn Kouga so we won't run into this problem again?"

Kagome looked over to Inuyasha, who was still cursing at Miroku and Shippou, and then over to the wolf youkai who was trying desperately to catch his breath now that the laughing had finally subsided. She sighed, nodding…Inuyasha was going to be sooooo pissed. But, maybe this _was _the best way. She started nodding and turned back to Kouga.

"Um, Kouga?" she asked hesitantly, unsure if he would even be able to hear her over Inuyasha's yelling.

He shook himself from his spot on the ground and grinned at her, bounding up to lean forward intently. "Yes, Kagome?"

"Eh, you might be wondering what all this is about…?"

"Oh, this? "he asked, pointing in Inuyasha's direction. "I don't honestly care. It's about the funniest damn thing I've seen in ages. Anytime you want to beat up that dumbshit, please, feel free!" Kagome frowned at him.

"We're not beating him up, we're trying to save you!" she said irritably. Why'd they always have to be so nasty about each other? "I can't sit him anymore."

"What?" he said, turning his attention back to her from Inuyasha.

"Whenever you've fought in the past, I've always been able to control him and keep you two from killing each other. I can't do that anymore. So…I think maybe it would be better if you were more…cautious about coming near me anymore. It's not safe for you otherwise. Anyway, I've already told you, I'm not your mate, so it won't really change anything, right?"

His eyes turned hard for a moment before he smiled brightly. "So you want this to be my last visit for a while, is that it?"

Kagome nodded. "I'm sorry it has to be that way, but I really think it would be for the best."

Kouga nodded to himself. "Well, I'd better say good bye to idiot boy then, hadn't I?" he said cheerily, and trotted over to Inuyasha. Sango tensed from her position near Kagome, and Miroku walked closer to her, his hand on his mala beads as he watched the two males.

Kouga leaned down and started speaking so quietly that the three humans couldn't hear a word.

"Hey, mutt."

"What the fuck do you want?" Inuyasha growled, glaring up at him.

"I hear Kagome can't plant your ass in the ground anymore…although it looks like a little kid youkai can take you out with no problem. Pretty pathetic."

"Shut the hell up."

"Seems everyone cooked this up to try and give me a last few minutes with Kagome before I take my leave." Kouga added.

Inuyasha glared at him. "Yeah right. I've figured it out already…they just wanna save your sorry ass from Tessaiga for some fucking reason. So why don't you tuck that tail between your legs and take off, unless you wanna be a man about it and take these fucking sutras off so we can have a real fight for once."

"Do you think I'm stupid? I could whip your sorry ass into the next province if it was just you, you puny hanyou, but the sword changes things." He leaned in closer, "Which is why I think this _will _be the last time you see me." He paused, "It'll be the last time you see Kagome, too, because today's the day she's coming back with me to officially become my mate."

"You stay the hell away from her!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Heh, try and make me, Inuyasha." Kouga taunted. "Oh, I forgot, your _friends_ trapped you like a rat, didn't they?" Shaking his head, he went on, "I admit, it's really tempting to kill you right here and now, you stupid dog, but I think I'm going to enjoy leaving you alive a hell of a lot more. I can take my woman back home with me and you can't do a damn thing to stop me."

Gloating blue orbs glared into furious golden eyes. "Think about _that_ while you're stuck here, you half-breed bastard. Even if you ever get out from under these, even if by some miracle you find our new den, Kagome will already be mine. She'll _never_ be with you again."

"Leave Kagome alone, you bastard! And who do you think you're fooling, anyway? Kagome won't go with you; she's told you that a dozen times, you fucking idiot!"

Kouga smirked and shook his head. "A real man doesn't take no for an answer. You'd know that if you actually had a pair, you effeminate mutt. Don't worry, though, Kagome will realize we were meant for each other after she's spent a few nights in my den…and in my bed. Trust me, I can be _very_ persuasive." He chuckled. "How sad, you've had all this time with her, and you still haven't managed to make her your woman. Your loss, dumbshit." Kouga stood up and headed back towards Kagome.

Inuyasha lost it. "Stay the fuck away from Kagome, you hear me! AAAARRRGH! Shippou, take these off of me, you idiot, he's going to take Kagome! Miroku, Shippou, stop him!" Shippou looked at Inuyasha with scared eyes and ran over to Miroku, but Kouga was almost to Kagome by that point. "Kagome, run! Get away from him!"

Kagome just looked at him. She'd heard him yelling at Kouga while they were talking, not totally unexpected, given their history. But now…Inuyasha was almost foaming at the mouth… "Inuyasha? What?"

Shippou finally reached Miroku, "Miroku! I heard everything…Kouga's going to kidnap Kagome again, he said so! We gotta stop him!" Miroku just patted the Kistune's head, although his features hardened.

"It's all right, Shippou. We planned for this, if you recall. Just calm down and remember to do your part when the time comes, all right?"

"Hey, what are you doing!" Kagome yelled out as Kouga finally reached her and scooped her up in his arms.

"I'm taking my mate home with me, what else?" he said calmly, already turning away from the group.

Kagome's eyes were wide. Not again! She thought he was done with this. "I already told you: I'M NOT YOU'RE MATE! Let me down, Kouga, this isn't funny!"

He looked down at her and she shrank back. His eyes were so…blank. "And I told you, Kagome, that you _are_. I've given you enough time to get over that stupid puppy, but I'll be damned if I let my own mate tell me to stay away from her so that some damn mongrel can sniff around her all day. I'm not willing to cater to you childish little whims anymore. It's time you grew up and accepted your future, Kagome. You're coming with me. Now. We'll finish mating tonight and then you can forget all about the half-breed."

Every warning Inuyasha had ever given her about Kouga rushed into her head and she cursed herself for ignoring him. But…she'd never thought Kouga would actually…. "Leave me alone, Kouga, I don't want to go with you!" She tried to slap him but he completely ignored her. She turned her head to see Sango and Shippou watching her anxiously, while Miroku simply watched. "Please, guys, help me!" Sango actually wrung her hands and Shippou glared at Miroku, who just smiled.

"Just a moment, Kagome-sama, and we'll be right there." He called out smoothly.

Kouga chuckled again, "I don't think the houshi wants to go up against me, Kagome." He said, and then leaned his head towards her to inhale deeply. "You smell so good. You're going to smell even better after we…" he stopped. Shaking his head sharply, he snorted. "What the… A-A-A-CHOOOOO!" His head smacked down on top of hers.

"Ow!"

"A-A-A-CHOOOOO! A-CHOO! A-CHOO! A-CHOO!" Kouga sneezed so hard that he fell onto his tail and Kagome rolled out of his arms. Miroku helped her up almost before she could figure out she was free.

"There we are." Said Miroku. "Shippou, could you give Kouga a hand? And Kagome, you are unharmed, yes?"

She nodded shakily, "But I don't understand…what's going on? He was acting like he was going to kidnap me again and then… What's happening?"

Miroku smiled. "Wolf's Bane. Uh, it's the other name for the flower bundle around your neck. It has a rather dramatic effect on wolf demons, as you might have noticed. Kaede and I have been researching the subject for some time now."

"_You _and Kaede made this for me?" at his nod, she looked even more confused, "But how did you know we'd see Kouga? We haven't seen him in weeks!"

Miroku shrugged. "I didn't, but since our travels were taking us right past his territory, I thought the odds were in favor of it. He _is_ fairly consistent where you're concerned, after all." Kagome shuddered and glared over at the still incapacitated wolf.

"ACHOO!ACHOO!ACHOO!ACHOO!" Kouga's eyes were watering, his nose stung like fire, and his forehead was looking bruised as he smacked it into the ground with every thundering sneeze.

Shippou walked over to him. "Here, Kouga, this'll help." Shippou put a small object into both of his hands for him, since the incapacitated wolf youkai still couldn't see a thing. Almost immediately, Kouga's hands were both dragged downwards and trapped on the ground. He howled and pulled at them, but they didn't budge.

"What the fuck did you do to me, you damned brat?" He yelled at Shippou, trying to see him with his still watery eyes.

"HA!" yelled Inuyasha, who was craning his neck to try and see around the rocks over his own hands. "Take that, you mate stealing bastard! HA! Way to go, Shippou! Now C'mon, let me outta here so I can go over and kill his mangy ass!" Inuyasha's fierce smile faded as Shippou remained over by Miroku. "Hey, what're you waiting for? Take these stupid sutras off and let me up!"

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha, but he can't do that just yet." Said Miroku, shrugging slightly. "We really need to wait until Myouga gets back first."

"What! Miroku, just wait until I get outta here, I'm going to kick your ass all the way to the mainland! I'm going to…"

"Get this damn thing off me!" yelled Kouga. "I swear, you are one dead human if you don't take this stupid rock off my hands right now, you sneaky bastard! I'm going to…"

"My, my, my" sighed Miroku, "What a fun afternoon _this_ is going to be."


	10. Ch 10 I am So Screwed

Disclaimer: dang, still don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters.

A/N Thanks once again for the reviews. Enjoy!

**Chapter 10: I Am So Screwed…**

Everyone not trapped under enchanted boulders sat in a circle on the grassy hill, trying to pass the time as they waited for Myouga. Kagome was still feeling very uncomfortable about the entire situation and couldn't help periodically looking to Miroku.

"Are you sure we can't let him out now? He looks so miserable..."

"Soon, Kagome." he said every time he heard her. Considering that it had been almost impossible to be heard over the initial curses and howls coming from the trapped youkai and hanyou, Miroku didn't hear her for quite some time, of course. The noise grew especially loud once the group actually broke out food and started eating without bothering to offer any to the hungry pair. Inuyasha's instructions on what to do with certain anatomical parts at that point were particularly graphic, although he blushed and muttered an apology when Kagome came over with his food.

"What, did you think I'd forget you?" she asked, shaking her head.

"Well, you're not doing anything to help me out of here, so yeah." he grumbled. She shook her head, looking uncomfortable once again.

"I'm really sorry, Inuyasha. Really." she said, crouching down to look into his eyes so intently that he finally had to look away. "Miroku says this is really important, though, so that you won't get hurt…and so Kouga doesn't get killed either."

His eyes narrowed. "You STILL care about that stupid wolf? Kagome, what the hell is wrong with you!"

"No! It's not that. I…" she took a deep breath and sat down next to him, holding his bowl of soup. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you about Kouga." she said quietly. "But, you get so jealous of everyone and so I thought this was the same as Hojo but…sorry. You were right. He is a jerk."

"But then why – "

"He might be a jerk, Inuyasha…but I don't think that's a good reason to die. Don't you understand? Kouga's not evil, not like Naraku is. I don't want him to die because of me. I couldn't stand knowing someone died because of me."

"It's not because of you, it's because of him!"

She shook her head. "I can't really see the difference. Miroku says that you and Kouga staying here are a part of solving this problem without bloodshed on either side, so…I'm going to go along with it."

Inuyasha bashed his head once against one of the rocks in frustration and grunted. "Damn. Find then, if you won't help, just put the bowl here and leave. "

"But don't you need some help to…"

"Feh. Just leave it and go." She nodded, watching as he grabbed the rim of the bowl with his teeth and tilted his head up to gulp the soup as it poured down his throat. She tried not to feel guilty for not offering Kouga anything as she walked back to Miroku.

_Miroku had better be right, because if this didn't turn out… _She didn't even want to think about it, really. She slowly walked back to Miroku and the other members of the group, drowsing after their mid-day meal. Unlike the rest of the group, Kouga and Inuyasha were sweaty and filth covered as they lay, exhausted, trapped by their respective stones. They'd both finally given up on trying to get out from underneath Shippou's boulders, although they had huge patches of churned up earth encircling them to show for their escape efforts.

"This is fucking unbelievable." Inuyasha finally muttered.

"Tell me about it." sighed Kouga.

"Don't agree with me, you bastard. I'm still going to kill you once I get out of here!"

Kouga spat onto the ground. "I heard what Kagome said. She doesn't want to kill me. So how quickly do you think they'll let you go if you keep _threatening_ to kill me?" He shook his head. "You really are a dumbshit."

"You're the dumbshit, you moron!"

Rolling his eyes, Kouga let his head slump against the boulder on top of his numbed hands. "Inuyasha, the only reason your friends might let you go is because trapping you here is depriving some village of its idiot."

"Oh, fuck you!"

"Face it, if you were any more stupid, you'd be a vegetable."

"Shut up, you damn wolf!"

Kouga raised his head up, smirking. "I bet Kagome only lets you hang around her because you make a fairly good guard dog, half-breed. That and the fact that Mikos are known to be kind to animals."

Inuyasha started to growl. "Fucking son of a bitch… Maybe she'd just rather be around a real man rather than a gutless coward who cuts and runs the first time he starts to get into trouble, you conceited asshole." Inuyasha retorted.

"A real man? And who the fuck would that be? The houshi?" At the thought, they both stopped a moment and looked over at Miroku to find him chatting with Kagome.

"He better not even _think _about touching Kagome." They both growled simultaneously. Turning back to each other, they growled even more fiercely as they realized they'd spoken at the same time.

"_You'd_ better not think about touching her either, you scruffy excuse for a wolf." Inuyasha threatened. "I don't know why you can't just take the fucking hint and piss off."

"Because Kagome is MINE." Kouga snarled.

"She's not yours if you have to fucking kidnap her and tie her up before she'll go with you, you moronic piece of shit!"

Kouga grinned nastily. "Hey, if it works..." His eyes grew unfocused.

"You better not be thinking of Kagome, you sick bastard!"

"Of course I'm thinking of Kagome, halfbreed. So just shut the hell up and let me fantasize in peace. As long as I'm stuck under this damn boulder I might as well have _some_ fun." He squirmed and started rubbing his face on the boulder, mumbling. "Anyway, I need something to take my mind off this stupid itch on my nose!"

"Why don't you count up to ten, then, idiot. That should occupy you for the next hour, at least."

Kouga grinned again. "But it's not half as much fun."

Inuyasha glared at him, and when he suddenly smelled Kouga's arousal, he gritted his teeth. Stupid, fucking, sick asshole, thinking about his Kagome that way! He couldn't stand it! "Miroku! Will you come and stop this stupid bastard! He's…" he looked at Kagome and tried to think of exactly how to say it, "he's thinking too much about Kagome!"

Kagome and Sango looked at each other. _Huh?_ Shippou ignored him, and Miroku sighed and stood up, muttering under his breath. "Honestly, sometimes I think Inuyasha is still 12 years old."

To Inuyasha's relief, though, Miroku sauntered over to Kouga, carefully staying out of reach of Kouga's legs, and smacked him on the head with his shakujou. "You really shouldn't let your mind wander like that, Kouga." He said cheerfully, "It's too small to be out on its own." Winking at Inuyasha, he started back to the others when Kouga's voice stopped him.

"What the hell are you doing, anyway, you stupid Houshi." Kouga growled at him, wishing he could rub the lump forming on his head. "You know I'm going to kill you as soon as I get out from under here, so why haven't _you_ killed _me_ already? It can't all be about Kagome's wishes; what's going on?"

Miroku turned around and grinned fiercely. "Honestly, Kouga, if it were simply Inuyasha and myself involved in the matter, it's likely you'd be dead already. I know your type when it comes to women…"

"Hell, that's the truth…pot calling the kettle black." muttered Inuyasha.

Miroku cleared his throat and glared briefly at Inuyasha before turning back to Kouga. "As I was saying, I know your type. You'll just keep coming back over and over again until you've taken Kagome….or until we do something that will keep you permanently away from us."

Kouga sneered. "There's nothing you can do to keep me away except kill me, you idiot. I'm stronger and faster than Inuyasha and you both."

Miroku nodded. "True…"

"Hey, he is NOT stronger than me!" yelped Inuyasha

"…but you're certainly not smarter. We found the perfect solution that will satisfy both Kagome _and _Inuyasha. It might have taken a bit of planning to set up, but we all care enough about both our friends to try and take their feelings into account. Don't worry, though, you shouldn't have too long to wait. The solution to our problem should be coming back with Myouga any time now." He smiled again at the scowling youkai. "I look forward to showing it to you. Now if you'll excuse me…" he turned and was walking back to the others when there was a disturbance in the trees to the north of them. "Well, speaking of… I think that must be them now. They're coming!" he called out, and Sango, Kirara, and Shippou stood up and took positions around Kagome.

She stood up as well and stood still as Sango put a hand on her shoulder, holding her in place. "You shouldn't be in any danger, Kagome, "she said, "but we'd really appreciate you staying here, just in case." Kagome nodded reluctantly. They'd all refused to tell her what the plan was. _What exactly is Myouga bringing?_ she wondered.

She peeked around her living fence in time to see a young demon with bright red hair and piercing green eyes come to a stop in front of them. _Ayame?_ The young wolf youkai was muttering to her shoulder as she looked warily at all of them, and Kagome picked up Myouga's voice responding to her. What was she doing here?

Ayame took in the scene within moments, gasping as she noticed Kouga's filthy form trapped on the ground. "What have you done to him, you filthy humans?" she cried out, starting for Kouga immediately. Kouga watched her, his eyes shining with hope.

"Ayame! Take the sutra off the top of this! Without it they can't do a damn thing to me." He turned his head to glare victoriously at Inuyasha, who started growling again.

"If you take off the sutra, Kouga will kidnap Kagome and take her as his mate." Miroku said calmly. Ayame stopped dead.

"What was that?" she asked, turning away from Kouga.

"Don't listen to them, Ayame! Just take off the sutras! That's all I need…"

"What was that you said?" Ayame repeated, looking at Miroku.

"Kouga wishes to force Kagome to be his mate. I sent Myouga for you because I felt that this might be…of interest to you. Although admittedly at the time I thought we'd have the opportunity to discuss it as a future possibility. I believe the situation is still salvageable, however." He smiled amiably. "Was I correct in thinking that you would wish to know of this?"

"Wish to know of it?" she muttered to herself. Her eyes started to glow. "I should say so!" she turned back to Kouga, who leaned away from her as far as his boulder would allow. "You were going to kidnap Kagome, were you?"

"I…"

"After you _knew_ I was waiting for you to fulfill your promise and become my mate? You unfaithful, oath-breaking, filthy, lust-filled excuse for a wolf!" Wind started howling around her, making her hair form a fire colored halo around her head, and Kouga flattened to the ground, still trying to yank his hands free.

"Oh shit." he muttered.

Inuyasha started laughing. "You are TOAST, Kouga, you sorry bastard!"

"Kouga raised from the ground long enough to yell, "Shut up, you pathetic mongrel! I…OW!" he rocked back as Ayame kicked him in the head. "Dammit, woman! I told you…" Kouga saw tears gathering in her eyes and gulped. "Ayame, you can't really expect me to… Ayame, you were just a kid. You were just a kid! How can you expect me to honor something like that…" She glared at him fiercely.

"You promised me, Kouga." He grimaced and braced himself, anticipating another roundhouse kick, when Miroku spoke again.

"If I might interrupt for a moment?" Ayame turned to him, still glaring. "Do you truly want Kouga to keep his promise to you?" Ayame nodded warily. "We have things we should discuss then, young woman." He held out his arm to her, and she took it slowly, letting him lead her over to Sango and the others.

Kouga growled low. "What the hell is he doing?" he muttered to himself, watching after them. What did that monk think he was playing at? And what was up with holding Ayame's hand? And…where did that thought even come from? He shook his head, redirecting his energy to trying and failing to hear what Miroku was saying to Ayame. She'd started smiling almost immediately, so whatever it was, it couldn't be good news. Eventually, Ayame started nodding to whatever Miroku was saying, and he carefully placed something into her hands.

She started back to Kouga and he started growling again. His senses screamed that something was seriously wrong, the same way they had warned him when he first encountered Inuyasha's Wind Scar. He couldn't fight, he couldn't run. If there were only one hand trapped under the damn rock, he would have chewed it off at this point just to get away from this feeling.

Ayame crouched down in front of Kouga, smiling at him, and he continued to growl low in his throat, eyes following her every move. "Aren't you worried about my legs, Ayame?" he warned. She continued to smile.

"No."

His growl dropped lower. She just kept smiling. "Kouga, I have wonderful news for you." He didn't bother to respond. "We're going to be mated." he scowled at her.

"I'm taking Kagome as my mate, Ayame."

"However, I had to promise that we wouldn't retaliate against Kagome or her friends…_especially_ not Inuyasha." she continued, ignoring him. Kouga snorted. "You're going to _keep_ this promise _and_ your promise to become my mate, Kouga." She said firmly, and he rolled his eyes. His growling had faded and he tried to look his usual confident self. "How about we seal our commitment with a kiss, Kouga?"

His eyes widened. "What?" She leaned towards him and he unsuccessfully tried to rear back. When that failed, he turned his head so far from her that he almost dislocated his neck. He was trying to figure out what to do next when something whipped past his eyes and settled on his chest. "WHAT?"

He looked down to find a necklace hanging around his neck. It looked really familiar…

Inuyasha hooted. "This is the BEST DAY of my LIFE! Bwahahahahahahahahaha. Eat dirt, you stupid wolf!" Ayame ignored him and Kouga racked his brain, trying to figure out what it was that Inuyasha knew that he didn't.

"Kouga…" Ayame said gently. "Are you going to keep your promise and become my mate?"

"I told you, I'm going to make Kagome my mate! Now, what the hell did you…"

"WRONG ANSWER!" Ayame yelled in his face, cutting him off. "Baka!" she said fiercely, and he suddenly felt his body pulled down at the neck to slam into the dirt painfully. What the hell? Oh shit, that's why they looked so familiar…those beads that always used to be around that mongrel's neck…they looked just like this!

He managed to spit out the dirt from his mouth and raised his head to find Ayame staring hard at him. "That worked better than I thought." she said, watching him.

"…hahahahahahahahaha. Oh jeez, Miroku, fucking let me up here! I won't even kill you anymore, you stupid monk! I'd spend the whole day under a pile of rocks just to watch this!" Inuyasha started laughing again, and Kouga was about to turn to glare at him when he felt Ayame's fingertips against his chin. He looked back at her.

"Kouga-kun…are you going to keep your promise and become my mate?" she asked again, smiling fiercely.

"Fuck no." he said angrily.

"BAKA!"

"GAH!" SLAM.

"Kougaaaa…are you going to keep your promise?"

"Ayame, "he said, spitting out dirt again, "You can't really think this will make me change my mi-"

"BAKA!" SLAM.

"Kouga…are you going to become my mate?"

He kept his face laying in the dirt and closed his eyes. "Fuckin' A, I am so screwed." he thought. Son of a bitch…

"BAKA!"


	11. Ch 11 It's All Your Fault

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, characters, set props, or anything else. Just really enjoy it immensely.**

**A/N thanks for the wonderful, wonderful reviews. Hope the following fluff and humor can give you a good laugh.**

**Chapter 11: It's all your fault, you know…**

Inuyasha scuffed his toes in the dirt as he walked and grumbled under his breath. "I don't know why we couldn't have stayed a little longer." he mumbled.

"Because we'd never make it to the next village before nightfall." Miroku said from behind him.

"So?" Inuyasha said without turning around, "It's not like we haven't slept out in the open before. I just wanted to stay until Kouga agreed to mate with her …"

Miroku sighed, "Inuyasha, Kouga is almost as stubborn as you are. And while I applaud your restraint in not attacking him, or us, once you were freed, it could still be days before he gives in, and none of us wants to sit around for hours on end watching Kouga being slammed repeatedly into the ground."

"_I_ did." He muttered mutinously. " I don't know why Myouga gets to stay and watch the good stuff when I don't get to." He glanced back at Miroku. "Where'd you get those beads for him, anyway? I thought they were pretty rare."

"They are. We gathered up the remains of your necklace before we even returned to Kaede's the night you lost them. Kaede just finished enchanting them again before this trip."

Inuyasha stopped and turned around completely. "Say again?"

"They were your beads."

"…so why exactly did you gather them up? You weren't expecting to put them back on me, were you, Houshi?" he asked, starting to scowl.

Miroku smiled briefly, "It never even occurred to me." he lied smoothly. "I simply felt that they might be of use sometime in the future. Once Sango and I determined a course of action regarding Kouga, we felt that we had the perfect use for them, that's all."

Inuyasha glared at him suspiciously, sniffing the air as he did so. "Well, you don't smell like your lying."

_I better not, _thought Miroku, _I've had enough practice at it._ "Ahem, yes, well, we'd better catch up to the others Inuyasha." he said, pointing ahead to where the women and demons were walking quickly towards the next village.

"I don't know why they're in such a hurry." Inuyasha said as he started after them.

"They're women, Inuyasha. They like their creature comforts in the evenings, like warm baths, soft beds, good food. Actually, I wouldn't mind having those tonight as well." he said, considering. "Hurry up, Inuyasha." he ordered as he passed the hanyou.

"Oh, right, like you could beat me." he retorted.

"You might be surprised!" Miroku said, and took off running after the women, leaving a surprised Inuyasha to scramble after him.

After a few minutes, Inuyasha called out, "Heh, sorry Miroku, didn't see you there!" and Miroku's dust covered figure could be seen laying in the middle of the trail as the hanyou continued on. Miroku shook his head and muttered to himself as he rose and walked after him, trying to dust off his robes as he went.

xxxxxxxx

When they arrived at the village, they were all surprised to find the small place brimming with people. Sake flowed freely, everyone was smiling and laughing; it was obvious that a huge celebration was going on.

"I wonder what's happening." Kagome said thoughtfully.

"Wait here a moment, I'll see what I can find out." said Miroku, ambling up to a promising group of young men.

"Did he just _not_ find a bunch of women to talk to?" said Sango in an aside to Kagome.

"Yeah. Wow, I wonder if he's feeling all right." she responded, and Sango laughed shortly.

Miroku returned with a smile on his face. "I'd forgotten what day it was! Next to this village is the only Shinto Shrine for miles, and today is the year's most auspicious day for a wedding, so couples from all over have been getting married today at the shrine. It's become one enormous festival at this point. Although, " he said, his smile fading, "it also means that there's no possible way we can find somewhere to stay: everything's full. The locals have also been charging much larger amounts of money for their goods to take advantage of the unusual crowds. I'm afraid we're still going to have to rough it tonight." he said sadly.

"Oh no." groaned Kagome. Sango sighed loudly, rubbing at her slayer's outfit to try and get a bit of the trail dust off. How irritating.

"Eh, excuse me?" Kagome and Sango turned around to see a handsome young man in a decorative kimono standing hesitantly behind them. "I couldn't help notice you attire, Madam. Would you happen to be a demon slayer?" he asked Sango, looking at her outfit as though he couldn't quite believe a young woman was wearing it.

"Yeeees." Sango answered slowly, "Why do you ask?"

"My bride and I...well, our village… I mean… sorry, I'm a little nervous." he said, blushing slightly. "I came over to ask if you would care to join my family's camp to celebrate my wedding? We married this morning, and my wife would take it as a very good omen if there was a taijiya involved in the celebrations today."

Sango looked at him as though he was one chopstick short of a set. "I'm honored by the request, but I don't understand why my presence would be so valued, honestly."

"A demon slayer was responsible for saving my mother-in-law as she gave birth to my wife. Taijiya have saved 2 of her siblings, as well. She's come to consider demon slayers as, well, a personal sign of luck and good fortune. It would mean so much to her if you would agree to come over. We could provide you food and a place to sleep!" he added a little desperately, as Sango looked about to refuse.

At the mention of a place to sleep, Sango paused and looked at him considering. "I'm here with some companions. If they are welcome as well, I would be happy to come to celebrate with you."

He nodded vigorously. "Of course, of course! Any friend of the slayer is wel-come." he faltered to a stop as Inuyasha stepped up behind Sango and grinned, baring his fangs. "A…demon?" he said faintly.

Kagome smacked Inuyasha on the back of the head.

"Ow, hey!"

"Quit trying to scare him." she ordered quietly, "I want a place to sleep!" she smiled at the young man. "Don't worry, he's harmless."

The groom nodded, staring at them with wide eyes, but finally decided that the slayer's companions must be all right. They _were_ with the slayer, after all. "Fine then, fine then… please, follow me! My wife will be so happy! Please, come this way! Thank you!" And he led them off towards the edge of the village where a number of awnings and large tents had been set up around a campfire in the middle.

xxxxxxxxxx

"I don't like this." growled Inuyasha, slumped next to the fire with food remains littering the ground around him.

"The situation is not _that_ unredeemable." Miroku said.

"Yeah, this food is great!" Shippou said, smiling happily as he patted his round little belly.

Inuyasha scowled. "You two are just saying that 'cause no one's afraid of you! Why are you even over here, anyway? Why aren't you off celebrating with Sango and…Kagome." he asked, looking across the fire to where Sango and Kagome were surrounded by the newlywed's family and friends, regaling them with exaggerated stories of some of their demon encounters.

Miroku glanced at the women and tsked sympathetically. "We're over here because we're your friends, Inuyasha." he said, frowning slightly as one of the men leaned in as he talked with Sango. The oily looking man was awfully close to her.

"Anyway, you know Sango and Kagome are over there making sure that these good people will have no reservations about hosting us tonight. We'll all be back together by the end of the night." he said soothingly, knowing that the hanyou was having a hard time watching Kagome surrounded by numerous young men. Sango seemed to be attracting quite a bit of attention as well, he thought, noticing another young man invading her space. What did she think she was doing, letting them get in close like that? She never let _him_ sit that close to her, he thought, a little irritated.

Of course, it must be even more difficult for Inuyasha when Kagome was the one who had asked him to sit on the opposite side of the fire. She said it was because no one was coming near Sango with him around, and if they weren't careful their invitation might be taken away. Miroku thought she was simply tired of hearing his constant growling every time another young male came over. As more of the self-same young men flirted with Sango, however, Miroku felt the urge to growl himself. Maybe Inuyasha had the right idea, these men looked awfully shady to him. Could they really trust them around Sango and Kagome?

There was yet another yell of 'Banzai!' from across the way and Sango and Kagome once again downed a cup of sake. Miroku's irritation faded somewhat and he smiled to himself as he watched Sango. Her cheeks were flushed, her smile was big and rather silly, and he could see her hand fumble a bit as she tried to place her empty cup on the tray. His eyes took on a slightly wicked sparkle. Tonight might be the perfect time to answer the question that still continued to plague him: what would Sango's mouth taste like? Considering how much sake she was consuming, this could be a _very_ good night.

It wasn't long before the wedding party drifted off to their respective tents. The newlyweds were seen off with laughter and rather lascivious advice, and the rest of the family paid their respects to Sango and Kagome before leaving. Miroku, Inuyasha, and Shippou headed over to their ladies soon after, as the two seemed happy to stay seated.

Inuyasha peered down at Kagome, who leaned back to look up at him, and fell over onto her back. She and Sango both started giggling as Inuyasha reached down to pull her back up to a sitting position by her arms.

"Kagome?" He asked, a lilttle worried.

She stared at him owlishly. "You know what, Inuyasssssha? I love you hair. It's sho- it's pretty. Isn't it pretty, Sango." she asked, her head wobbling as she turned away from Inuyasha's suddenly bright red face to ask the slayer.

Sango gave her an exaggerated nod. "Pretty. I like brown hair though." They both looked to Miroku and started giggling wildly while Miroku rolled his eyes and tried to ignore his own red face.

"And your ears are so cute!" Kagome went on, turning back to Inuyasha again. "I love your ears soooo much. Just so cute I could eat them up!" her wide eyes dropped to his face. "Did you know your eyes are the same color as gold coins? How did your mom do that?" she asked, confused for a moment. He blinked at this and then almost flinched as she focused on his lips and sighed. "But you almost never kissh me." Tears welled up in her eyes and Sango clumsily patted her back. "He's so mean." she wailed. Sango glared at him for her friend.

"Why don't you kissh her? That'sh not very consid- condisher- conshire- not very nice!"

Inuyasha stared at them both in shock, his face flaming. "Miroku?" he asked in a strangled voice. "What the hell's wrong with them? Are they drunk?"

"It's not that difficult to ascertain, is it?" said Miroku wryly. Then he grinned. "Of course, you know what they say: what a man says drunk, he has thought sober. Or in this case, a woman."

"Shut up, Houshi!" Inuyasha said fiercely, still blushing.

Miroku got a rather evil look in his eye. Inuyasha was so obviously embarrassed by the whole thing, he just couldn't resist. "Kagome, "he said sweetly, "would you _like_ Inuyasha to kiss you?"

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Miroku!" Inuyasha bit out, just before Kagome nodded decisively.

"He's really good at it." she said with a sappy little smile, and Miroku raised an eyebrow at Inuyasha.

"Really? Well, well, will wonders never cease."

"SHUT UP, Houshi!" Inuyasha said even more fiercely. He forgot to keep an eye on Kagome, however, and stumbled back as she stood in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

She looked up him and smiled sweetly. "Aren't you going to kiss me again?" she asked in a plaintive voice. "Don't you like me?" A tear slowly trailed down one smooth cheek and he gulped.

"No…I mean, yes…I mean. Miroku, you started this! Help!" Inuyasha held onto Kagome's shoulders and tried to keep her mouth away from his own. She'd kill him in the morning if he let her do this in front of everyone!

"You damn houshi, don't just stand there with that stupid grin on your face, help me with Kagome!"

Miroku chortled.

"Why won't you kiss me?" Kagome asked, staring up at him. "You _don't_ like me, do you? " she said sadly, more tears winding down her cheeks. She sobbed once.

"You ssshould've said yes." Sango slurred out.

Inuyasha looked at her in surprise. "What? How can you-"

"I'm - not – talking – to – you." Sango said to him slowly. "I was talking to Kagome. She should have said yes to the men." Kagome unwound her arms from Inuyasha's neck and looked at Sango.

"Really?"

"Uh huh. How many of them asked you to marry them, five?" Kagome's eyes grew blurry as she tried to remember. She nodded and Sango sighed. "I only got 3 proposals."

MIroku and Inuyasha suddenly straightened up.

"What?" they both blurted.

"Wow, both of you, huh?" Shippou asked.

Sango and Kagome didn't even notice as Sango continued. "If Inuyasha doesn't want you, you should marry one of them. It'shhh no use being miserable waiting all the time for some faithless man who will never commit."

"Hey!" Miroku and Inuyasha echoed again.

"You sshould get married and be happy." Sango concluded, closing her eyes and laying back in the grass. Kagome nodded to herself so hard she almost fell over and turned away from Inuyasha.

"Maybe tha' tall one." she said to her self, before Inuyasha grabbed her around the waist from behind and yanked her back.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" he growled.

"Le' go!" she tried to push at his arm, but her eyes couldn't quite seem to tell exactly where his arm was.

"I asked where you were going." Inuyasha repeated.

"I'm going to go be happy, like Shango said." she explained.

"Be happy? What the hell does that mean?"

"I'm going to marry the tall one." she said slowly, as though explaining things to a small child. "Didn't you lishten? He didn't have pretty eyes, but I guess…"

"You're not going to get married to anyone!" Inuyasha yelled as Miroku chuckled slightly.

"I wanna get married! Everyone else is getting' married today, and I wan' to get married too! Lemme go!"

"If you were getting married to anyone, it'd be me, dammit!" Inuyasha yelled again. Kagome stopped her rather feeble struggling and turned her head slightly to look back at him.

"Really?"

"Uh…" Why the hell had he said _that_?

"You want to get married?" she asked, her eyes sparkling as she turned to face him.

"Uh…"

"Oh, Inuyasha…"

Miroku started sniggering into his hands as Kagome hugged Inuyasha tightly. The Hanyou held her gingerly, panicking.

"No, wait!" Inuyasha sputtered frantically, finally letting go of her waist. "That's not what I meant! I just meant….I just meant that you shouldn't be getting married, that's all! Kagome, you're drunk, you don't know what you're doing!" She scowled at him and started crying again.

"I – "she sniffled, "am NOT drunk. And I wanna get married. So there." She turned away from Inuyasha. " Sango, help me find the –the…that guy. Can't remember where he went…" Sango looked up blearily from the ground and pushed herself up to a stand, wobbling dangerously.

Miroku continued to chuckle loudly as Inuyasha grabbed Kagome around the waist again. "You are _not_ marrying some strange guy, Kagome! Not if I have to pick you up and take you out of here myself!" he sighed to himself. "Anyway, you wouldn't want to marry me, really. You know you wouldn't even be thinking this way if you hadn't soaked up all that sake."

She sniffled some more and shook her head, trying to figure out why she wasn't still walking forward. "Yesh, I would. Everyone wants to marry the person they love, don't they?" she mumbled.

"Well, yeah, but…." his brain stopped for a moment as her words penetrated. "You- you want to marry the person that …you…love?"

She nodded, still trying to get her feet to move forward. "uh huh. But if you don't wanna get married, then I'm gonna go marry someone else. And be happy, like Sango said. Do you think that would make me happy?" she asked in a confused voice, turning around again to look up at him. He was staring down at her, flabbergasted. "Inuyasha? Are you all right?" she waved a hand in front his face and accidentally slapped him instead.

He blinked, trying to force his brain to keep working. Had she just said…?

I think so, big boy, said his conscience.

_She loves me?!_

Don't let it go to your head.

_She loves me! She thinks I'm great…_

Excuse me, what did I just say? Don't get too carried away here.

_SHE LOVES ME!_

A huge smile broke over his face. His arm tightened and he hugged her close, breathing her in. Standing there embracing her for a moment, he was startled to feel his eyes getting moist. He blinked rapidly.

Shippou stared at them both with his mouth open and Miroku had finally stopped laughing. He simply stood there and grinned happily at them, noting Inuyasha's eyes pointedly.

"I got somethin' in my eyes, Houshi, that's all." Inuyasha growled, and Miroku nodded fondly.

"Of course."

Kagome rested the back of her head on Inuyasha's chest, seeming to have forgotten about going off to marry 'the tall guy,' and Inuyasha stood there, thinking.

_Should I do it?_

Don't be an idiot, his conscience chimed in immediately. She's drunk, she doesn't know what she's saying. Well, not enough to get married, anyway.

_What if she does, though? She said she loves me. That means she'd be happy if we were married, right? She said she loves me…_

Okay, whoopee, one point for your side. But think about it, do you really think she was planning to marry you today when you broke camp this morning? Again, don't be an idiot.

_If we got married, though, she'd stay here longer. And I wouldn't have to worry about Hojo and those other bastards anymore. And we'd finally be together…_

Did you hit your head on Shippou's boulder one too many times? You CANNOT marry Kagome right now! She does NOT want to marry you. All you two do is fight all day long and order each other around…and you suddenly want to get married? Get a clue!

_Hey, that's right, she wouldn't be able to order me around as much anymore, once I'm her husband…_

HEY! HEY, DUMBASS! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME! OY! DOGBOY! Aw, crap. Honestly, why do I even bother…

Inuyasha scooped Kagome up into his arms and took a deep breath. "All right, then. I'll do it. Me and Kagome are gonna go get married."

Miroku started choking. "Wha-what did you say?"

"Congratulations, Inuyasha! "Shippou said happily, "Wow, what luck. You'd _never_ get someone like Kagome if she was sober."

"Shut up, pipsqueak." Inuyasha said.

"Inuyasha, you can't really mean to…" Miroku stopped briefly as Inuyasha stared at him. "Inuyasha, this is serious. You'll be taking advantage of her if you do this when she's in this condition. How can you…"

"Hey, aren't you the one who's always telling me to express my feelings and court Kagome?"

"Not when she's inebriated, you fool!" Miroku said in exasperation. "It's something completely different if you do this when she's not herself."

"Oh, you mean it's more like what _you'd_ do?" Inuyasha shot back.

Miroku glared at him. "That's beneath you."

"But not beneath you, huh?"

"Inuyasha…."

"Hey, if you have such a problem with me refusing to – to respect Kagome's declaration, let's see how you like it, Houshi!" He turned to Sango, who was still wobbling precariously as she hung onto her Hiraikotsu. "Oy, Sango. Miroku here was just saying how much he wishes you and he could get married, too. Whaddaya say?"

"You evil little…" Miroku said with murder in his eyes, just as Sango looked over at him. "Oh damnation, she's going to kill me." Miroku muttered to himself as Sango launched herself at him. He flinched, ready to be knocked flat, and grunted as she fell awkwardly against his chest. He grabbed her arms and opened his eyes to look at her. "Sango?"

Her head lolled back and forth and she smiled goofily up at him. "I would love to get married." she said happily, and now Inuyasha started to snigger as Miroku's face burned hotly.

"Sango?" he asked in a voice that cracked with strain. What in the name of all the Gods was she doing?? "Eh…Sango, really, uh, you're not yourself. I think maybe you should…" he stopped as Sango scowled at him.

"You don't want to?" she asked sadly.

"It's not that, exactly." Just not yet…

"Then let's get married with Inuyasha and Kagome."

"Well, now, let's not be hasty." Why couldn't Inuyasha have asked her if she wanted to kiss him instead?! He could have handled that! As well as finally getting to taste Sango as well, dammit, if she was feeling _this_ amorous. But now…

"Hasty? You're the one who asked me in the first place!" she said, starting to get angry. She stood back from him, and he watched warily as she fingered the handle to her hiraikotsu. How she could be this drunk and still hold that damn thing, he had no idea.

"If you recall," Miroku said, adopting a reasonable tone, "Inuyasha was the one who…"

"Fine! Fine then. I'm fed up with this, Houshi! I'm not watching you flirt and…and womanize anymore! I'm gonna get married and raise babies and stay right here in this stupid little village and you can just…shove off!" she yelled, crying. Miroku watched her with huge eyes, reaching out for her arm. What in the world was going on with her?

"Sango, you know you don't mean that. This isn't like you at all."

"Why? I can't want the same things other women want? I can't be sad? I can't want to have b-b-babies and m-marriage?" she kept crying and Miroku frowned.

"Sango" he said sympathetically. He'd never really thought those things even crossed her mind, in all honesty. She was so driven when it came to finding Kohaku and avenging her family, he'd never really considered too deeply what she might wish for afterwards. "Come along, why don't we find the tent they set aside for us all and you can sleep this off…"

"Get away from me!" Sango yelled, and Miroku ducked to the ground with a very unmanly squeak as she swung the hiraikotsu at his head. "I am going to find one of the men who proposed to me and I'm going to get married! Inuyasha! Kagome! You wait for me right here!" she tried to turn around, losing her balance and almost falling over as she did so.

Miroku had managed to stand at this point and started to scowl. She was going to _what_? "Sango, you know you don't wish to get married! Calm down and think about this rationally." He reached for her arm again and this time didn't manage to dodge in time. The hiraikotsu caught him in the shoulder and sent him flying.

"NO! I'm getting married! If you're too…too cowardly to stick to your word when you ask someone to marry you…"

"It was Inuyasha!" he yelled, still flat on his back.

"…then just stay away from me, Houshi!"

Miroku scrambled up as she started stumbling away from them. Fists clenched, he stared after her. If she thought he was going to let this stand for one more moment, she was in for a rude surprise. "SANGO! You will NOT do this! I forbid it!" She ignored him and kept on walking.

Inuyasha smirked at Miroku, although he felt just a little guilty. He hadn't honestly thought it would turn out quite the way it had. A little yelling, Miroku getting beat into a pulp, and his litlle bit of revenge..that's what he'd expected. Who knew Sango was drunk enough to actually want to _marry_ the hentai?

Miroku scowled over at Inuyasha. "I'm going to make you regret this, Inuyasha." he threatened. "You realize I can't stop her!"

"Yeah, she can pretty much take you in a fight, can't she?" Inuyasha taunted.

"It's not that, you idiot. I just…I could hurt her in this condition, if we were to fight over this!"

"Okay, I can see that being a problem." Inuyasha admitted.

"So, why don't you put Kagome down and help me!" Miroku asked through gritted teeth.

Inuyasha grinned. "Honestly? Because this is a hell of a lot more fun." he watched Miroku's face go red with anger. "So it's…marry her or watch her marry someone else. Huh." He paused and then asked slyly, "How do you think it'll feel, being married to a woman who can kick your ass?"

"Inuyasha…" he said, warning.

"Don't worry, we'll wait for you before we head to the shrine." Inuyasha said lightly, and Miroku looked behind him to see Sango already out of the center camp and almost out of sight.

"Damn." Miroku swore and took off after her. "Sango, wait! You don't want to do this…"

Inuyasha stayed behind and simply held Kagome, who seemed to be almost asleep in his arms at that point. After about 20 minutes, a frazzled Miroku returned arm in arm with a beaming, inebriated, Sango. He glared at Inuyasha.

"Not one word, Inuyasha. Not. One. Word." He scowled and then smiled as he turned to look at Sango. "All right, my dear. We're here. Are you sure you won't wait until tomorrow? I'm sure it would be lovely to " he choked, "marry when the sun is higher in the sky."

"No. I want the most auspicious day of the year, and that's today!"

"Me, too" chimed in Kagome sleepily.

Inuyasha grinned down at Kagome and nodded. "Good. C'mon, monk, we're going to the shrine." he said happily, and pointedly ignored Miroku's continued glare as he headed over to the shrine on the hill above the village.

xxxxxx

Inuyasha and Miroku walked out of the temple in a daze, each supporting a womanly picture of drunken stupor, while Shippou bounced excitedly behind them.

"I can't believe I'm married." Inuyasha said quietly.

"YOU can't believe you're married?" Miroku asked sharply. "What of me? I'm a MONK! I shouldn't even be able to GET married." Inuyasha started to laugh as Miroku shook his head, obviously still in shock.

"Yeah, but you have to admit, it was worth it to see how fast that damn Shinto Priest started talking once Sango threatened him with the hiraikotsu. Man, some humans are really cowardly."

Miroku smiled weakly. "They were more afraid of you than they were of Sango." Miroku said, color slowly starting to leach back into his pale face. "How often does one encounter a half-demon, let alone perform a marriage for one?"

Inuyasha snorted. "Stupid idiots, think they'd never seen a wedding before, the way they acted."

Shippou preened behind him. "They all loved me, didn't they, Miroku?" Shippou asked, smiling happily as he sucked on a sweet he'd received from another admiring couple at the shrine.

Miroku nodded, breathing deeply as he tried to regain his equilibrium. He was _married! _Dear Gods above, what the hell was he going to do now?

Married. He looked down at Sango's head, lolling against him as they walked, and took a deep breath. He had _not_ planned on this. Some day in the future, maybe. In the _far_ future, when Naraku and his Kazaana were gone and he could take a moment to think about what he wanted out of life. Still staring at her soft hair, he swallowed slightly. One thought wormed its way up from somewhere deep inside and sprouted, refusing to go away.

What if this marriage didn't work?

How idiotic. He didn't even wish to _be_ married, and he was worrying about the success of it? Ridiculous. But still, this was Sango…

What if this marriage didn't work?

Of all the women he'd ever known, and truly lusted after, Sango was the only one that he still wanted to spend time with. He couldn't imagine not fighting by her side, not traveling with her during the day, not speaking with her in the evenings by the firelight, not touching her. He couldn't imagine what it would be like once Naraku was defeated and they all went their separate ways. How would she survive without someone to care for her when she pushed herself too hard? Who would make sure she that remembered to leave some of the sorrow of the past behind, that she remembered to relax and laugh and find joy in the world again?

He felt a small shock go through his body at the thoughts pouring through him. Had the idea of marrying Sango been hiding itself in the back of his mind, waiting for the right opportunity to show itself? Just how long had he been thinking of Sango as someone to hold onto and care for? How long had he been thinking of her, however slightly, as someone he had a claim to? How long had he been lying to himself?

How long had he been in love with Sango?

He stared down at her, eyes wide. He was in love with Sango. Violent, angry, dedicated, beautiful, sensuous Sango, the woman who was going to beat him to within an inch of his life the moment she overcame whatever odd flight of fancy the sake had induced. What in the world was he going to do? Was there any way he could keep this from turning into an unmitigated disaster? When it came down to it, was there anything that would make Sango amenable to marriage to him?

And almost as important, was there anything that he could do to be allowed near that fantastic body of hers without suffering extreme amounts of pain?

This was going to take some serious thought…

xxxxx

Continuing to walk down the path from the shrine in silence, Inuyasha and Miroku picked their way carefully in the dim twilight. Kagome's legs went boneless after a few minutes and Inuyasha had to heft her into his arms, but Sango managed to stay on her feet, even though her gaze had taken on a death-like stare. Wrapped in his own thoughts, Miroku was now trying to control his wandering hand's impulses once he'd started thinking about Sango's body. Inuyasha was just trying to figure out what to do next. A rustling in the bushes brought both of them to alert, but turned out to be a couple kissing passionately in the shadows. Inuyasha and Miroku looked down at the women, glanced at each other, and blushed furiously.

Miroku cleared his throat, feeling Sango slump even further against him. "I suppose it's not going to be much of a wedding night." he said sadly.

Looking at Kagome, Inuyasha grunted.

Miroku went on. "Probably not much of a morning after the wedding either. They're really going to be miserable tomorrow."

Inuyasha nodded to himself, watching Kagome's face as he held her. She looked so peaceful and unaware…and it made him feel like a bastard. He'd been rather happy until near the end of the ceremony, when Kagome had started to essentially collapse against him, having a hard time understanding what they were there for and what they were doing. At that point, he'd finally realized just how far gone she actually was. She's going to be pretty pissed at me in the morning he thought, grimacing. As far as he was concerned, the human marriage wasn't the core issue of a mating, although his human half of it still viewed it as an important step. Still, they weren't really mated completely until they, well…actually mated. But he had the sneaking suspicion that Kagome was going to be upset no matter what he did now.

Told you not to do it, his conscience piped up. Didn't I tell you not to do it? Didn't I say she didn't know what she was doing?

_Shut up_.

And now it's too late and what're you going to do? Make love to her while she's passed out cold?

_Of course not!_ he thought in surprise. Man, his conscience had a really dirty mind sometimes. _I'll just…I'll just…_ He paused, thinking hard. _What the hell am I going to do? She's going to kill me when she wakes up!_

Exactly. Dead hanyou walking, that's you. Kiss future peace goodbye, because your WIFE is going to make your life a living hell. And don't forget, this is Kagome…she is _damn_ scary when she's pissed. Oh, don't expect me to save you, either. There's only so much violence I can watch without getting sick, and I have a feeling Kagome's going to go over my limit. I'm getting the hell out of here until Kagome calms down…

_Coward._

Inuyasha stopped, noticing that Miroku had paused a few feet before him, trying to juggle Sango, the hiraikotsu, and now Shippou, who was leaning on him rather sleepily.

"They're going to kill us when they wake up, aren't they." he said glumly.

Miroku nodded faintly, still trying to get a hold on Sango that wouldn't topple himself and the hiraikotsu over on top of her. "Quite definitely." They both stood there silently, imagining what the next day would bring.

"It's all your fault, you know…" they both accused, and continued to stare at their new wives.


	12. Ch 12 The Mental Meanderings of

Dislcaimer: don't own the rights to Inuyasha in any form, nor make any money, nor know how to dance to any songs from the anime.

**Chapter 12 – The Mental Meanderings of a Married Man**

"What are we going to do?" whispered Inuyasha. He was sitting next to Miroku as they both watched over the women. Fast asleep, Shippou was curled up between Sango and Kagome on the only available futons. The sun was contemplating sneaking over the horizon already, and Inuyasha still hadn't managed to sleep a wink. "What are we gonna do?" he whispered, softer, and finally elbowed Miroku in the stomach for an answer. The monk startled and his drooping head popped back up.

He groaned. "Inuyasha! I was almost asleep. Can you not worry about this on your own?"

"No, you stupid idiot. If you hadn't asked Kagome about kissing in the first place, I wouldn't be in this mess. So, if I can't sleep then neither can you." He cast a disgusted glance at Miroku's sleepy form. "Why aren't you more worried? At least _I_ know Kagome can't kick me into the next province. How are you going to keep Sango from killing you?"

Miroku sighed and slumped down against the tent wall. _Thank the Gods we at least have a place to stay!_ he thought in exhaustion. "It's not that I don't worry, Inuyasha. However, Sango-sama is a reasonable woman…"

"Eh? When did that happen?"

"…as I was saying? She's a reasonable woman, and I'm sure if I simply explain the situation to her, she'll understand. Far better wed to a friend than to a complete stranger." Inuyasha raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Oh fine then. I'm planning to tell her that without you, this entire episode could have been avoided. And pray. A lot. But _after_ I get some sleep." He pointedly closed his eyes and tried to ignore Inuyasha's grumblings.

"Hmph. This wasn't _my_ fault." Inuyasha muttered to himself, "_You_ started it, stupid houshi. " he accused, still under his breath, and turned back to Kagome. She lay bonelessly on her back, snoring lightly, and he felt his lips curl briefly into a smile before he stopped them self-consciously. After a quick look confirmed that Miroku had already fallen asleep again, Inuyasha crept up and crouched next to Kagome. Her hair was sticking out wildly around her head, reminding him of a baby cat whose fur was too short to lay flat. He chuckled and reached out a hand, smoothing her hair carefully as she lay there, oblivious. After he was done, he drew back and sat on his heels, watching her. _His wife._

He let his eyes take their time and follow the curve of her body as she slept. She was so beautiful. Even drunk, she's beautiful, he thought, smiling. It was so strange though, trying to view her as his _wife._ In every fantasy he'd ever had regarding her, he'd never allowed himself to get that far into their relationship. Hell, he'd never even really thought about them having a relationship at all; he'd simply viewed her as something that was _his, _as someone he needed to protect. He didn't think that and a few vague sexual fantasies counted as a relationship.

Those fantasies were _not_ vague, interrupted his conscience.

_Shut up. And what are you doing here anyway? I thought you were leaving until the bloodshed was over?_

Well, what do you expect me to do when you start lying to yourself so blatantly? C'mon….ripping off her top and sucking on her breasts while she rubs your ears?

_So I like her breasts, it wasn't that explicit…_

Sliding off her skirt, putting your face between her legs and licking…

_That was only once!_

Kagome on her knees, taking off your hakama and putting her mouth around Little Inuyasha? That was vague?

_Sorta. _

Yeah, right.

_Well, it's not like she's ever done it before! There's a lot of details missing! _

Or how about the one with Kagome bathing in the hot springs when Sesshoumaru comes and tries to attack her? Remember? She's naked and pink and slick; you get to run in all heroic and kick Sheshoumaru's ass. I think the best part of that was when she flings herself at you to say thank you and you throw her down on the moss to take her from behind while she's screaming out your name as she comes.

…_You saw that one?_

Oh yeah, that was definitely one of my favorites.

_Shit. I can't believe you saw that one. How fucking embarrassing._

Like I said, that's one of my favorites. Sesshoumaru gets an ass kicking and you get some of Kagome's ass…it just doesn't get any better than that.

_Will you fucking shut up already! _Inuyasha closed his eyes, flushing hotly. Stupid, voyeuristic asshole…

And by the way, make sure you clean off before the wedding night. No one wants to make love to someone who reeks.

_Hey, fuck you! I do not reek! _He paused. _And what the hell is up with you? I thought you were supposed to tell me not to marry her and 'stay away from Kagome,' and ' do not even THINK about…making love,' and all that shit._

Well, considering you're crouched here next to your _wife_, you moron, you can see how effective _that_ sort of talk was. I'm tired of ramming my head against a brick wall.

_So why don't you just shut up, then?_

'Cause at least I can have fun insulting the brick wall. Man, what an idiot.

_Hey!_

Seriously, though, bathe. Soon. The tent isn't big enough for you and your smell both.

Inuyasha humphed, and then covertly leaned over to sniff his sleeve. When his eyes started to water, he grimaced and remembered holding Kagome at the side of the path while she threw up…multiple times. It looked like it hadn't all landed on the path. How disgusting. Now he couldn't wait to get clean. He made his way over to Miroku.

Poke. "Hey, wake up, you sorry excuse for a monk. I'm going out. Don't let anything happen to Kagome or I'll kick you ass." When one bleary eye opened to stare up at him, he took that as acknowledgement and, after grabbing some soapberry pulp from Miroku's things, left the tent. There was running water not too far from the village somewhere; he'd been able to smell it before they entered the village.

xxxxxxxxx

After a frustrating hour long search for usable water, complicated by the huge number of scents around with such a large group of people, Inuyasha finally found a small stream he could make use of and managed to get himself clean. He dried off as best he could and headed back to Kagome, cursing as he felt the damp spot on his back grow larger. He _hated _wet hair. He had barely entered into the mass of people that had originally been a village when the back of his neck started to prickle. Someone was watching him, he was sure of it. Raising his head to look around, he stiffened and his hackles rose. Every person he saw had stopped what they were doing to watch him. What the hell…? Most of them were glaring at him, although there were a few smiles here and there. But no matter where he looked, they _were_ watching him.

He sniffed the air carefully, and they all smelled human, but…something was wrong. Were they possessed? Was this some trick of Naraku's? He had to get back to Kagome! He sprinted as quickly as he could through the crowd, leaping over the thicker knots of people, and shoved open the covering to their tent, ready for anything. Looking up at his dramatic entrance, Miroku and Shippou stared at him curiously. They had been leaning contentedly against the tent wall, finishing up some rice porridge. As if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

"Inuyasha, you're back." Miroku said with a smile, and then he noticed Inuyasha's rather wild expression. "What's the matter?"

"What's the matter?! Have you _been_ outside? "

"Yes, as a matter of fact. We went out to get something to eat."

"Yeah, and it was really annoying! _Everybody_ knew about Miroku's wedding! It took us sooooo long to get to the food, with everyone telling him 'congratulations' and 'best wishes' and 'you're new wife is lovely' and 'you better be faithful to a wife who can kill demons' and…" Shippou stopped talking as Miroku's hand covered his mouth.

"Yes, well, as I said, we've been out. I didn't see anything that would be that disturbing."

At some point in Shippou's speech, Inuyasha's shoulders had slumped, and now he simply looked at Miroku and Shippou with a rather sad look on his face.

"Inuyasha?" Miroku was starting to feel more concerned.

Inuyasha turned away from them and went over to Kagome. Leaning over, he scooped her up quckly and headed towards the tent opening. Kagome didn't even stir. "Kagome and I need to leave, Houshi."

Miroku looked at him strangely. "All right. I'll wake Sango and we…"

"I don't have time. If everyone knows…. Kagome and I need to leave, now. Just…just..." he sighed. "Could you get Kagome's stuff and bring it with you? Please?"

Shippou stared at Inuyasha with huge eyes. "What's going on, Miroku?" he whispered to Miroku, "Inuyasha's saying 'please!' What's wrong with him!"

Miroku ignored him and nodded slowly to Inuyasha. "I would be happy to. Where will we meet you?"

"Eh? Oh, right…we'll be on the far side of the village, however far it takes us to get out of sight. I'll keep an eye out for you." And then he turned and quickly left the tent with Kagome.

Shippou stared after him. "Is that what they mean when they say a man changes after he gets married? That's scary! I'm _never_ getting married if that's what…"

"No, something else is happening. I think…" Miroku headed towards their things and started to gather them up. "I've got a rather bad feeling about this. I don't think we should linger." Shippou and he quickly gathered up Kagome's pack and then Miroku looked at Sango and her hiraikotsu. He slumped. "How on earth am I going to carry both of them again?!" he grumbled, finally grasping the hiraikotsu by the handle and dragging it towards the doorway.

"Why don't you pick it up, Miroku? Wouldn't that be quicker?" Shippou asked curiously. Miroku pretended not to hear, but Shippou noticed sweat starting to roll down his forehead. He snickered. "You can't pick it up, can you.? I think Inuyasha's right. You're married to a woman who can really kick your.."

"Shippou, I can honestly say that Inuyasha has my total sympathy at this point."

"Huh? What's that got to do with…"

"Or maybe I should just say that I can understand the uncontrollable urge to say, 'shut up, runt.'"

Shippou stuck his tongue out and went back to ensuring everything was packed into Kagome's bag as Miroku left the tent. Miroku returned almost immediately without the weapon.

"Hurry, Shippou!"

Shippou barely had time to get out of the way as Miroku yanked Kagome's bag out of his hands and threw it on his own back. Then he reached down and scooped up Sango, staggering a bit with the weight, and turned to leave. "I said hurry, Shippou! It's ugly out there!"

Shippou followed him quickly, covering his ears as soon as they emerged from the tent to try and keep out the sudden increase in noise. "What's going on, Miroku?" he wailed, finding a mass of people headed their way. Miroku was putting his wife's dead-to-the-world body sitting slumped on Kirara's back, but turned to answer as soon as he finished.

"Use your eyes and ears and answer the question, Shippou!" He yelled over the crowd as he grabbed the giant boomerang and looked for a place to put it. Shippou uncovered his ears a sliver and finally started to listen to what the sea of humanity in front of him was yelling.

There was only one theme: Get out, you filthy half-demon.

Realizing they were almost upon them, Shippou gulped and leapt onto Kirara, landing behind Miroku. Kirara leapt into the air just in time as the huge mob converged on the tent. Dodging the few stones thrown their way, she flew away from the village and off to meet up with Inuyasha.

"Why are they all mad at Inuyasha? He hasn't been here long enough to make _everyone_ angry…has he?" Shippou asked once they'd gained some altitude, confused.

Miroku shook his head. "Unfortunately, this mob's anger is not related to something he's done, it's simply what Inuyasha is."

"A jerk?"

"Ah, no, I don't think that's it. It's simply the fact that he's a hanyou. Although I'll admit I'm surprised to hear you ask about it. I'd have thought we'd encountered enough hatred towards demons that you would recognize it by now, Shippou."

"I know they hate demons!" Shippou said indignantly, "But they were fine yesterday! I don't understand why they're all getting mad about us _now_!"

"Aaaah. Yes, well…yesterday, a half-demon hadn't married a human woman." he said sadly, looking down at Sango resting against his chest.

"Oh." said Shippou quietly, and for once didn't have another word to say.

xxxxxxxx

Inuyasha sat high up in a tree 2 miles outside of the village, cradling Kagome in his arms. He was such an idiot. He should have known this would happen. If he was honest, somewhere deep down, he _had_ known this would happen, he'd just chosen to ignore it. He had vague memories of slurs, and other more tangible things, cast at his mother because of her choice of mates. He didn't want Kagome to _ever_ have to go through that, and now look what he'd done! She was married to him and they would run into this everywhere they went. He couldn't stand that; seeing her smile fade and disappear, seeing her spirit slowly crushed as it happened over and over again. And what if they had children? Any little ones would have it even worse. All because of him… She'd be better off if they just pretended this marriage had never happened…

Jeesh, what a whiner. Stop moping and just kill the sorry bastards, said his conscience.

_What!_

Anybody pulls that sort of shit with Kagome, kill 'em.

_Kill them? What..I…wait…I thought you were supposed to be my conscience!_

Oh, right. Kick the ever-loving shit out of them, his conscience corrected. Sorry, but _all_ of you loves Kagome, me included. Hey, I think she deserves somebody better than you, but what's done is done and we do not let _anybody_ hurt Kagome, right?

_Riiiight, _Inuyasha thought slowly to himself, sitting up straighter. _You're right. They can't act this way towards Kagome!_

Right.

_I don't care if they hate demons or not, they had better not mess with Kagome or they'll have to deal with me!_

Right.

_I'm going to go back there right now and…_

Okay, dumbass, don't get carried away. Who gives a shit what those idiots think about you? Kagome doesn't even know, and you're out of there already. Just wait for Miroku and get on with things…like the wedding night. I gotta tell you, that's something I don't wanna miss.

_Hey! Shut up, you hentai!_

What, you think I won't be in here watching? Make it something to remember, huh? It's been, oh, NEVER since we've had anything but a fantasy to make love to.

_So what, I…_

Don't forget to kiss her.

_Excuse me?_

When you're making love, don't forget to kiss her. That mouth of hers is so soft and wet, I could just eat her up. It has got to be the hottest, slickest thing I've ever felt.

_I know that!_

Well, the hottest, slickest thing I've felt _yet_.

_Hey, you're not supposed to be thinking about that, you pervert!_

Make sure you pay attention to her breasts too, while you're at it.

_What?!_

Her breasts? You know, those gorgeous, soft round globes on her chest? The ones you can't keep your eyes from when she runs?.

_H-hey! _Inuyasha started to feel a little flushed.

And her ass! Don't you just want to grab it and starting kissing it all over?

_I would n-never… _He started blushing madly at the images that suddenly ran through his head. His face flamed even more when he felt himself actually harden underneath his clothes. _Stop talking like that!_

And I really, really can't wait to see what it feels like when we're inside…

"Inuyasha, are you and Kagome all right!" Miroku yelled from nearby, and Inuyasha's head snapped up to see everyone sitting on Kirara and flying a few feet from his perch.

He cleared his throat nervously, still scarlet faced as he wondered if his thoughts showed on his face. Stupid damn hentai conscience.

"We're fine, monk," he said hoarsely.

"I can see a nice clearing set back from the road a few miles ahead. Can you follow us there?" Miroku called out again.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Just shut up already and go!" Inuyasha grumbled, trying to shake free from the lust that was gripping him. He hopped down from the tree with Kagome, amazed to see that she slept through it all. How much sake did she drink, anyway? He wondered again. Damn but she was going to be feeling it when she woke up, he thought.

You know, _you_ could be feeling _her_ before she wakes up, his conscience muttered.

_Shut the fuck up! Crap, when did you start being such a pervert?_

Inuyasha, considering that I'm _your_ conscience, be impressed that I turned out as well as I did.

Inuyasha growled under his breath and simply followed Kirara's receding flames. Maybe now that Miroku was up he could actually get a little sleep, as it didn't look like Kagome was waking up in the immediate future…

When Inuyasha leapt into the clearing with Kagome, he saw Miroku sitting on the grass, leaning against a tree, and then as he saw where Sango was situated he stumbled so badly he almost fell on top of Kagome. Sitting on Miroku's lap, her head tucked under his chin, was Sango.

"Sesshoumaru in a pink kimono! What the hell are you doing, Monk? Are you insane?" He hissed out.

"I said the same thing!" Shippou piped up from his hiding place across the clearing from Miroku. "Well, except for the bit about Sesshomaru." he admitted. "I'm not coming near him until she's woken up and killed him." He said, and ducked down on the other side of the moss covered log he'd been using to hide behind.

"There is nothing wrong with a man holding his wife." Miroku said calmly, then he sighed. "Besides, would you deny me the last time I may have to hold her? I doubt that she'll allow me this once she's awake, not for a long time yet. And likely not without quite a battle."

"Got that right." Inuyasha said. "And you can bet your ass that's the last time you'll hold her, because she's gonna rip off your arms if she catches you doing it!" Inuyasha plunked himself down on the ground next to Miroku and studiously ignored Miroku's pointed glance at Kagome still clutched to his chest.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you questioning my sanity for holding my wife as I sit here?"

"Feh." Inuyasha turned her head away from the monk as his cheeks reddened slightly. "Didn't you say there's nothing wrong with a man holding his wife?" he asked belligerently.

Miroku reached up a hand to run through Sango's hair. "Yes, I believe I did. It's hardly even an event worth mentioning, is it?" he asked softly, inhaling the scent of her hair.

"Yeah…I guess not." Inuyasha murmured, and laid his head back against the tree as he savored the feel of Kagome in his arms. "Hardly worth mentioning…"

Miroku watched him for a moment. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha."

"Huh?"

"The villagers…"

Inuyasha closed his eyes. "Yeah. Whatever. They just better not try anything with Kagome or they'll regret it." he said harshly.

Miroku was silent for a minute and then chuckled to himself. "Quite a pair, aren't we?"

"Huh? What do you mean by that?"

"A hanyou married to a human, and a monk married to…well, anyone at all. Not exactly the most accepted couplings, are they?"

Inuyasha shook his head. He hadn't even really considered Miroku's situation, with everything that had happened. "I…"

"I suppose we'll simply have to stand up for each other, hmmmm?" Miroku said with a smile. "That's what friends do, don't you agree?"

Inuyasha looked at him with huge eyes. "Uh, I…"

Just nod, you dummy, said his conscience.

And he nodded, a small half-smile quirking up his lips. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, they do."


	13. Ch 13 What Were We Talking About?

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inuyasha in any form, nor do I get any lovely money from it.

**A/N This chapter is dedicated to my old roommate, who showed me just how drunk someone could actually get, and just how bad a hangover could really be. Thanks again for the reviews everyone!**

Chapter 13 – What are we talking about again?

She was dead. And in hell. Definitely in hell, because there could not be this much pain in heaven, and it _had_ to be more pain than anyone earth could feel and still be alive.

"Oooooh" she moaned, and then clenched her teeth at the pain from moaning, and then moaned again at the splitting pain in her skull that came from clenching her teeth. She swallowed, and the taste alone made her want to vomit. Something had obviously crawled into her mouth and died…a week ago.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha said quietly.

"Aaaagh, don't yell!" Kagome yelled, and then clamped her hands over her ears at the sound of her own voice. "Please, just kill me." She whispered piteously.

"Kagome, it-it's not that bad, is it?" Inuyasha asked tentatively.

"How would you know? I'm in _hell_." she moaned again.

"Hell? Oh c'mon now, that's crap. Maybe it's not… Maybe it's not what you want anymore, but it's not hell."

"It _is _hell. And you're here, and you won't shut up so the pain won't stop and my head feels like it's going to split apart and it is HELL."

There was a minute of silence and then she heard Inuyasha again. "Pain? We're – we're talking about pain? Shit, why didn't you say so in the first place?"

" Of course I'm talking about pain! What did you think I was…oooooh, I'm going to throw up!" she covered her mouth with her hands as Inuyasha stood up and carried her…somewhere. She wasn't sure, and she had serious plans never to open her eyes ever again, so it was just going to remain a mystery.

"Don't puke on me! I just finished cleaning up this morning, okay? No, hold it! No, not there! Not yet! There, puke there!" Inuyasha sputtered frantically as Kagome lost the battle with her stomach and heaved. When she was finally done, she realized that she wasn't the only one ill as she heard someone else retching nearby. She hadn't even formed the words to ask who it was when she heard Sango's voice.

"I'm in hell." Sango moaned piteously, and Kagome could hear Miroku murmur something to her. She leaned back against Inuyasha, wishing her head would stop spinning long enough for her to open her eyes.

"What happened to us?" she whispered, trying desperately to remember what she was last doing. "Were we poisoned?"

Inuyasha snorted way too loudly, and she thought she heard Miroku chuckle. "You and Sango drank your weight in sake, that's what happened."

"Sake? Where did we…"

"At the village?" She wracked her brain and came up with a headache the size of Tokyo. Inuyasha continued. "With the wedding party? Around the fire? While you made me sit like a leper as far from you as I could?"

"Wedding party?" Kagome repeated slowly. "I think…I think I remember a wedding party. At a shrine…"

Inuyasha swallowed and braced himself. "Yeah, you were at a shrine."

Kagome moaned low in her throat "No more…it hurts too much to think. I don't want to talk anymore, Inuyasha. Just lay me down somewhere so I can sleep until my brain crawls back into my skull." She begged. Inuyasha carried her to the soft patch of grass that had been his seat for the previous few hours. Poor Kagome, he thought, she looks like death on a stick.

Miroku helped Sango join Kagome in a near coma on the grass and then stepped back next to Inuyasha.

"Would it be safe to say that Kagome-sama has not yet recalled all the events of last night?" Miroku asked Inuyasha quietly.

"No, but she's remembered the shrine." He looked at Miroku's relatively bruise free face. "I ain't even gonna ask about Sango, 'cause your arms and legs are still connected. "

"Yes, well, I'm not expecting it to last forever, but we do seem to have a short reprieve." Miroku murmured.

Inuyasha didn't bother to reply, as Kagome had started moaning again, asking for water. 4 hours later, after 20 requests for water, 6 more bouts of vomiting, and one trip behind a bush that was mortally embarrassing for Kagome and himself both, Inuyasha was ready for the 'reprieve' to end.

"What I wouldn't give for Kagome to start a screaming fight." He said grumpily under his breath, watching as Kagome sat gingerly in the late afternoon sun, eyes closed, leaning against the same tree he had earlier.

"Truly?" asked Miroku softly, watching Sango as she reclined next to Kagome. "I must admit that I'm somewhat enjoying the situation at the moment. It's rare that Sango depends on me for anything. I find it rather sweet."

Inuyasha gave him a look. "Have you lost too much blood recently or something? You're enjoying the fact that Sango is moaning, miserable, and throwing up?"

"That's not exactly what I meant…"

"Then what the hell _did_ you mean?"

"Never mind." Miroku muttered, shaking his head. "Don't you think it's time you started a fire? It will be dark in a few hours, and I'd like to eat before then."

"Why don't you and Shippou make it, then, if you're so keen on it?" Inuyasha grouched, irritated that Miroku hadn't answered the question.

"Because Shippou and Kirara left together as soon as the vomiting started and since they haven't returned yet, I'm going to go retrieve them." Miroku said patiently. Inuyasha wavered for a moment, irritation over being told to do something warring with the potential annoyance of dealing with Shippou. The realization that Miroku would be alone with both the women if _Miroku_ was in charge of the fire, and without Shippou to watch, decided him.

"Feh, fine, I'll start the damn fire. You just better get back soon, you damn houshi, because there is NO way I'm taking Sango to use the bushes, got it?"

Miroku nodded, smothering a smile, and headed off in the direction he'd seen Kirara and Shippou head out. Inuyasha stepped up warily to the two women.

"Eh…I'm going to get some deadwood for the fire. Do you…do you need anything?" he asked. _Don't need the bushes, don't need the bushes._ When they both carefully shook their heads, he let out a sigh of relief and left camp hoping to find some good, dry wood. Once the sounds of Inuyasha tromping around had faded, Kagome and Sango turned slowly towards each other.

"What exactly happened last night?" Sango asked first, red rimmed eyes squinting.

"You don't know?" Kagome asked, her own eyes opening a crack. "I was really hoping… I mean, the last thing I remember is a really strange marriage proposal."

Sango chuckled slightly. "The young man who smelled like sweaty sandals and swamp gas?" Kagome made a face.

"Uh huh. What in the world happened after that?" she worried.

Sango shrugged uncomfortably. "I – I really don't know. Knowing Miroku…" she squirmed and blushed hotly. "… I'm not sure I want to find out."

Kagome scowled. "Really? _I _want to find out. You can't let Miroku get away with…well, with Miroku, it could be anything! How can you not want to know!"

"Miroku's never _done_ anything because _I've_ always stopped him! What if I…" She swallowed and lowered her voice to a whisper. "What if I didn't stop him last night?"

Kagome opened her mouth to respond _of course_ Sango would have stopped him, then paused. Drunk and secretly in love with someone… maybe she was right. Really, thinking of it, what if Inuyasha was the type that he'd have tried something…wouldn't she have the same fears? Thank goodness he wasn't Miroku. He would never…

Images of the last few days flashed through her head in quick succession: Inuyasha's kissing her by the well, his jealousy, his behavior after the rock throwing incident. She shook her head, wincing a bit at the pain it caused. But no, he would never… would he? Nooo, he wouldn't. But if he did, would she have…?

Had she…?

"We really, really need to find out what happened last night." She said fiercely as she scowled in the direction Inuyasha had walked. Sango nodded miserably.

xxxxxxx

Inuyasha had a good sized fire going, along with a number of fish broiling on green twigs, by the time Miroku returned on Kirara with Shippou in tow. He was at Kirara's side before Miroku even had time to dismouont.

"We are so fucked, Houshi." Inuyasha started hissing. "What the hell were we thinking? They're going to kill us!"

Miroku slumped and glanced at the women, still seated side by side. They returned his look with equally cold glares and he felt himself start to sweat. "This doesn't bode well at all." He said under his breath.

"Doesn't bode well!" Inuyasha sounded like he was strangling. "They haven't said a fucking word to me since I came back with the damn firewood; they just sit there and stare at me! I know they're just waiting until we sleep and then…and then I don't know what the hell they plan to do, but I don't think I'm gonna fall asleep and find out!"

Shippou, with a fine sense of self-preservation, was already headed over to a far corner of the camp.

"Shippou!" called Kagome. "Come over here right now!" The little fox looked up in surprise and then turned for help to Inuyasha and Miroku.

"Don't look at me, runt! I'm not going over there!" Inuyasha said quickly. Miroku merely made a shooing motion with his hands so that Shippou muttered under his breath about babies and cowards as he slowly went over to Kagome's side.

"Yes, Kagome?" he said, trying to make his eyes look at big and beautiful as possible.

"Shippou, don't look so worried. We both know that _you_ didn't do anything you weren't supposed to. Right?"

Shippou nodded furiously.

"Sango and I would like to ask you something, though." Kagome said sweetly. Sango nodded in agreement, although her hands fidgeted nervously. "You were with Miroku and Inuyasha last night, weren't you?"

Shippou nodded again, looking briefly over to the two men who shrugged at him, although Miroku's face had a suspicious look on it.

"The whole night?" Kagome asked. After Shippou nodded once again, Kagome smiled gently at him and her voice softened. "Then you're just the person we want to speak to. I'd like you to tell us everything you remember from last night, all right?"

His little brow furrowed. "Last night? But why? You were there."

"I know, "Sango broke in, trying and failing to achieve Kagome's sweet tone, "we simply…we'd like to hear a different viewpoint on what happened, that's all."

"Well, I guess, if you want…"

By the time Sango spoke, Miroku's eyes had widened incredulously. "Inuyasha, they don't remember!" he whispered furiously.

"What?"

"They don't remember what happened! Look at them, they don't remember anything from last night or they wouldn't be asking Shippou about it!"

"Don't be a fucking idiot, Miroku." Inuyasha spat back quietly. "They were there; of course they remember it!"

Miroku looked at him with half lidded eyes. "You've never been really drunk before, have you, Inuyasha?" he asked

"Of course not. You can't defend yourself when you're drunk. Idiot. And what the hell does that have to do with it?"

"Trust me. They had so much sake that they don't remember what happened! We're saved…"

Shippou's voice rang across the clearing. "…and both of you were acting really funny, and then you looked at Inuyasha, Kagome, and waaaaaaaah!" Shippou wailed, flat out on the ground and rubbing at the growing lump on his head. Miroku's staff lay on the grass next to him.

"My apologies, Shippou." Miroku called out. "There was a fly."

"Waaaaaaah. Kagome! Miroku hit me!" Sango's gaze sharpened as she stared at the innocent eyed monk.

"Don't worry, Shippou." Kagome said in a rather ominous tone. "He won't get a chance to hit you again. It's all right." She picked him up to cuddle in her arms. "Now, what were you saying?"

"Fish is ready." yelled Inuyasha frantically, holding up the skewered fish as Miroku walked closer to Sango and Kagome.

"Yea! Fish!" Shippou tried to jump out of Kagome's arms, but they tightened around him.

"Fish later!"

"But I'm hungry!" Shippou whined.

"If you tell us what happened last night, you can have my and Sango's fish, too, as soon as you're done." Kagome promised.

"Really? Yea!"

"I'm eating every last fish if you say another word, Shippou!" Inuyasha threatened, holding the entire bunch over his open mouth, and Miroku smacked himself in the forehead.

Wonderful, now they'd know _something_ had happened involving both the women. They might have passed it off as a few extra gropes on his part if they'd played it right. It could at least have bought them some time, but now… "Inuyasha, you idiot!" he growled under his breath, and then, seeing Sango watching him, waved at her. "We're doomed." He said quietly through teeth clenched in a bright smile.

Kagome, in the meantime, was staring at Inuyasha with her mouth open in shock. Not just Miroku, but _Inuyasha_ was trying to stop Shippou from talking? So he _had_ done something he didn't want her to know about! What in God's name had they done last night?

Shippou's mouth had closed like a trap as he watched his dinner in jeopardy. Kagome narrowed her eyes at Inuyasha furiously.

"Shippou, if you ever want to have ninja snacks ever again, start talking right now." She said.

Shippou's eyes swung to Kagome's in sudden fear.

"No ninja snacks?" he asked piteously. "But…but… but what about my fish?"

"No fish now…or no ninja snacks ever again." Kagome said, unsympathetic.

Looking from Inuyasha to Kagome and back again, Shippou finally sighed and turned to Kagome. "All right, Kagome. You…"

"I will never fucking hit you again if you keep your big trap shut, Shippou!" Inuyasha promised, tossing the fish to the ground as he took a step closer.

"No more ninja snacks!" Kagome reiterated.

Shippou immediately opened his mouth again and Inuyasha growled in frustration.

"If you don't shut up, I _will_ make sure to pound you every damn day until the moment I die, Shippou! I swear it!"

"You will NOT!" Kagome yelled at him angrily, tossing Shippou on the ground and standing up to glare at Inuyasha. Shippou got woozily to his feet.

"I sure as hell will!"

"Why won't you let him talk!" she yelled with fists clenched at her sides. "What happened last night, you big jerk? What did you DO?" Inuyasha flushed and Kagome grew frantic. "You didn't… You couldn't have…" he flushed more and Kagome started choking. "And Shippou was there the whole time…? How could you?" She felt her face heat unbearably. It was almost a relief to hear Sango's voice yell out.

"Houshi! What do you think you're doing!" Kagome turned and saw Miroku walking away from Sango as fast as he could, Shippou tucked under his arm.

"My apologies." He panted back over his shoulder. "He has to use the bushes now. So sorry. Be right ba—oooomph." Miroku was knocked to the ground as Sango's hiraikotsu hit him in the back. Shippou went flying and landed on Kirara on the other side of the camp. He scrambled over and hid on her far side. He was getting pretty good at hiding these past few days, he thought.

Sango stalked furiously over the prone monk as he tried to crawl out from under her boomerang. "You let Inuyasha…with _Kagome?_ While you were there! You are the lowest, most disgusting…"

"It's not what you're thinking!" Miroku sputtered frantically.

"Oh really?" Sango asked, disbelieving.

"I swear it!"

"Hell, there's no way he could do anything about Kagome, anyway, not when you wanted to do it at the same time." Inuyasha muttered.

Miroku let out a strangled moan as Sango screamed.

"Whaaaaat!"

"Not THAT! He doesn't mean it that way!" Miroku yelled, holding his hands over his head as Sango reached him and brought the hiraikotsu down on top of him again.

"I do too mean it." Said Inuyasha, aggrieved. "I don't know why _you're _so mad, Sango. C'mon, at least Miroku made sure it was him and not one of those other men."

"OTHER MEN?"

"You aid is NOT NEEDED, Inuyasha!" Miroku yelled before looking up at Sango. "Sango, _I_ _did not do anything!_ I wouldn't take advantage of you like that, in that condition."

Shippou piped up from behind Kirara. "He's telling the truth, Sango." Sango looked over to him, determined he was sincere, and started to breath a huge sigh of relief. _Oh, thank the Gods. _"He only did exactly what you asked him to. He even made sure to do it last night, just like you wanted. I remember!"

Sango stiffened again and her eyes positively glowed. "I am _never_ going to forgive you, houshi! NEVER!" she kicked him in the side as she yelled, and as she drew her foot back again, he saw the direction of her gaze and frantically rolled away, trying to protect the most important part of his anatomy.

"Not there!" he yelled. "I don't have a child yet, remember! Not there! I still need an heir!" She stopped.

"An heir! You think I _care_ if you get an heir, you stupid, lecherous, back-stabbing pig? You better just hope that you've already got a child on some poor woman, because when I get done with you, there isn't going to be anything to make a child _with!"_ she scowled and kicked him in the back, rolling him over once. "This will save you from dying anyway, because if I have to hear you ask another woman to bear your child, I'm going to kill you myself!" She clenched her fists.

"Sango!" Miroku tried to scrabble back away from her and protect his vital parts at the same time.

Inuyasha shook his head. "Eh, don't know why you keep asking women anyway, Monk. The way you womanize, you lech, you probably got the last poor woman you seduced pregnant anyway."

Sango froze, her foot in mid-air. The last woman he seduced? But that was… "Oh no. No, don't say that. There's no way- No, fate would not be that cruel." she sat down with a thump and stared into space, a hand on her stomach. "OH DEAR GODS."

Miroku stopped scrabbling and watched her carefully from a protective fetal position on the ground.

Kagome reached the same conclusion as Sango, and almost instantly realized the implications for her own situation. "What? But that means that I could be… NO, I'M NOT READY YET!" Inuyasha looked back at her with huge eyes.

"Uh, Kagome?"

"What if we have a baby, you stupid…dog! I know you don't even know what to do…how to stop…AAAAARRRRGGHH!"

Inuyasha's face flamed as he had a coughing fit. "A baby?!" he blurted, his voice high and panicked. "We don't have to think about that YET, do we? –cough choke cough - Isn't it a little early to think about something like – cough cough wheeze - _that?_"

"Early? EARLY? It's too late, you dumb jerk! I HATE you!" She picked up a rock from the ground and flung it at him, missing him completely. She growled and did it again, only to have him block it with his arm.

"Kagome, what are you…"

"Stupid…ass…can't believe you…should have had you neutered!" she spat furiously as she started flinging rocks, twigs, and everything she could get her hands on at Inuyasha's head.

"Stop it! Damn it, Kagome, cut it out! What the hell do you think you're doing!" He yelled out as he continued to smack the various projectiles out of the air before they nailed him in the head. She finally stopped, running out of ammunition.

"I can't believe you would take advantage of me like that! I can't _believe_ it! I thought…I thought you cared more about me than that, Inuyasha." She said, losing steam. Inuyasha laid his ears back and stared at her.

"Kagome, it…I…" he looked at her eyes, which were rapidly going from anger to betrayal, and guilt swamped him. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I…look, I'll stay away and you…you can pretend it never happened." He offered sadly.

"And what do we do if there's a baby? You can't just walk away from that!"

"A baby?" he repeated stupidly.

"Yes, a baby." She said. "You know, cute little things that you get from…from…from what we did." Her voice trailed off.

He still looked confused. "From getting married? Uh, Kagome, do you even _know_ how babies are made?" he asked tentatively. Kagome tried to answer, but couldn't seem to get the words out. "Kagome? Kagome, are you all right?"

"M-married!" she finally managed. "We're married? _That's_ what happened last night?"

"Well a'course. What the hell did you think we were talking about?" She simply stared at him, stuttering incoherently, then suddenly looked over at Sango, who was still sitting in a daze on the ground. "Then that means that Miroku and Sango…"

"I told you it wasn't what you were thinking." Miroku said, still laying on the ground. "Sango, there is absolutely, positively no way that you, or Kagome, are going to have a baby from the events of last night. Now, maybe someday…" Sango stared at him, seeming more horrified by the new revelation than she had been by her previous misconception.

"We're MARRIED?" Miroku nodded and smiled sheepishly at her. "And you let me think we had… "

"I tried to tell you!" he said quickly.

"You sneaky, cowardly, …come back here, Miroku-sama!" Sango yelled out as the monk took the better part of valor and started crawling away from her again. "We're not done talking about this!" She got to her feet and watched as he stumbled to his own, backing away from her with his hands up as though holding her back.

"Now, Sango, you wouldn't want to…" she grabbed the hiraikotsu from the ground and his eyes started darting for safety frantically. "You- you wouldn't hit your husband now, would you? You wouldn't want to be disrespectful! AH!" he ducked and the boomerang narrowly missed his head. "Sango! Please, be reasonable!" He leapt to the side as the boomerang swept by him again. "Damnit." He started running, his robes flying out behind him, with Sango close in pursuit.

Kagome drew her gaze from the battling couple and stared stupidly at Inuyasha. "We're married."

"Uh, yeah…didn't we just get through fighting about this?" Inuyasha asked, confused and little nervous.

"No, you big dummy." Kagome said slowly. "THIS is not what we've been fighting about. THIS is something completely different than what we've been talking about for the last 10 minutes!"

"You don't have to yell, dammit! If we weren't fighting about this, then what the hell have you been so mad about all this time!" he asked, starting to get irritated.

"Are you telling me you honestly don't know?" she asked skeptically, ignoring the high pitched yelps coming from the patch of forest Miroku and Sango had disappeared into.

"Why the fuck would I ask if I knew?"

She stared at him a moment, biting her lip. "Inuyasha, you are really dense sometimes, you know that?"

"What the hell are you talking about!" he yelled.

Kagome shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Just…we're married?' she asked one last time, starting to blush a little.

"YES! I already told you that!'

"I'm just making sure!" she yelled back. "I'm just…how in the world did we get married?"

"Uh…I'm not sure you're gonna like it…"

"Inuyasha…" she warned.

"Fine. Fine then. You really want to know? Okay, well, um…you see…"

Good luck, said his conscience. Try to talk your way out of this one, dumbass.

_Shut up. I'm talking with my wife here, asshole._

Yeah, take that tone. See how far it gets ya. I'm just gonna sit back here and enjoy watching the fireworks. Jerk.


	14. Ch 14 He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

**Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inuyasha in any media, nor make any money from anything regarding it.**

Chapter 14: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Inuyasha stopped talking and watched Kagome warily. She hadn't said a word once he'd started his explanation, and now she stood there, staring at him.

Well, staring through him. Actually, looking closer, it felt much more like she was burning holes in his body with her eyes, and staring through _those_.

"You can see why it happened now, right, Kagome?" he asked belligerently, trying hard to mask an overpowering sense of dread. "There wasn't any other choice, once you started acting all weird like that. Don't know why you'd want to drink that stuff, anyway. It smells terrible." He finished in a mutter.

Kagome continued to stare.

"Was last night a new moon?" she asked suddenly.

"Huh?'

"It's not a difficult question. Was. Last Night. A New. Moon?"

Inuyasha didn't answer for a second. Was that a trick question or somethin'? "Uh…no?"

"So, you were still a half demon, then?"

"Ye-es?" What the hell was wrong with her now? Did sake muddle a human's brain for quite this long afterwards? He wasn't really sure…

"Did I threaten to purify you?" Kagome asked after another moment's thought.

"No! Of course not!" He glared at her. "Why are you asking all these stupid questions, anyway?"

She glared back. "Maybe it's because I'm talking to an idiot! Why are you lying to me, Inuyasha?"

"What? What are you talking about, I'm not lying to you!"

"Inuyasha, unless _you_ became human and _I_ started shooting you with arrows, there is no _possible_ way that we HAD to get married! What, you couldn't just say NO!"

Inuyasha's ears flicked backwards away from Kagome's painfully loud voice. "But…but you were going to marry those other men! What else was I supposed to do?" he asked plaintively.

"Stop me, you dummy!" she shouted. "You've been grabbing me and carting me around all over the place ever since your stupid beads broke, but suddenly you can't figure out how to help me out without…without marrying me? That makes no sense! What in the world happened last night? What are you trying to hide?"

Yeah, Inuyasha, why won't you tell her the truth? Asked his conscience.

_I-I am telling her the truth!_

Oh please, don't make me laugh.

_I am!_

Inuyasha, you married Kagome for one reason: you wanted to.

_She – she was going to marry those other men._

You wanted to. _His conscience reiterated._ That's it. You can dress it up all you like, but the reason you married Kagome is because you have been panting after her for months now and finally saw a chance to have her that looked like it might not blow up in your face.

_But…she wanted to, too!_

Inuyasha…don't even go there.

_I'm not going there! I mean, dammit, it's true, you jerk!!_

Drunk Kagome wanting something and sober Kagome wanting something are two completely different things. Which, as I recall, is something I told you when you suggested this stupid idea in the first place, you dolt!

_But…_

Inuyasha, his conscience warned.

_Oh fine then. I married her because I wanted to. There, happy now?_

Oh, fucking ecstatic. I'll be even happier once you suck it up and tell that to Kagome, dumbass!

_I can't do that yet! It's too soon. I'll tell her…later._

Later? When the hell is _that_ going to be? When your first son is born? Oh wait, that's right, at the rate you're going, you'll never get a chance to HAVE a son! Tell her the truth, you fucking coward!

_But…_

Do it. Stop being such a wimp.

_I'm not a wimp!_

You're right, you're not. You're a complete and _utter_ wimp. Hell, I bet Kouga would tell her if he was here.

_What the hell did you just say, you asshole?_

Don't hurt yourself thinking about it. And I'm an asshole whose absolutely right, by the way.

_Shut. The. Fuck. Up, already, you…_

"Gaaaaah!" Inuyasha yelled out as he suddenly found himself a foot closer to the ground, courtesy of Kagome's hand yanking on his ear.

"Will you stop muttering to yourself and tell me what happened! Why did you marry me!" She let go of his ear and gave him a hard, teary eyed stare as he scowled and rubbed his now throbbing head.

"Because I wanted to, dammit!" he growled out without thinking, and his eyes widened as he realized what he'd said.

HA, gotcha! Laughed his conscience.

"I…I…aw, shit." He panicked and spun away from her to stomp quickly in the opposite direction, leaving Kagome to stare after him open mouthed.

"You wanted to?" Kagome said faintly. "Wait a second…because you wanted to!" she yelled after him, starting to follow. "What kind of answer is that? What do you mean, because you wanted to? Why?"

Inuyasha looked back over his shoulder, saw her closing in rapidly, and took off running as fast as he could away from the clearing.

"Come back here, Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled after him, stopping to stand at the edge of the clearing and shaking her fist at his retreating back. "You big dummy, come back!" As he quickly disappeared from sight, Kagome let her hands fall to her sides and tried to take a deep, calming breath.

"I will stay calm. I will not scream. I will NOT scream."

"Kagome, are you all right?" came Shippou's small voice from behind her.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, and Shippou ran back behind Kirara, where he decided he was staying until everyone was back to normal…or somebody made food. Whichever seemed like it might actually happen again this century.

xxxxxxxxx

Sango stomped through the thinning edge of the woods, her hiraikotsu swinging in choppy motions with every step. She couldn't _believe_ that Miroku had done this to her. _Married! _She felt her eyes prickling with tears and angrily blinked them away. She would _not_ cry! That stupid houshi was not worth it…

What was she going to do? She desperately thought of everything Miroku did: the groping, the flirting, the womanizing. Still, her anger was slowly seeping out. And as the thin veneer of anger faded, fear was being painfully exposed. How was she going to live with _Miroku_ as a husband? All this time, she'd kept her feelings hidden. She'd tried so hard to push thoughts of him to the side, like an old kimono that wasn't worth wearing. But now…how could she deal with him now? A husband who would stray every time she turned her back? The man whose eyes held that stupid little sparkle that had been the beginning of her masochistic decent into this futile, idiotic, one-sided affection that would make marriage to him so horribly painful.

She slammed her hiraikotsu into the ground and put her head in her hands, trying to think. What was she going to do! He already suspects too much, she thought to herself, cringing as she remembered their fight in the woods…

xxxxx

_earlier_

"I swear to you, Sango, I did not do this to take advantage of you!" he said quickly while hiding on the other side of a large tree. "I truly could not think of another way to keep you from doing something you would regret terribly in the morning, that is all! I did _not_ dishonor you, I swear it."

She growled and tried harder to hit him on his stupid, sweet-tongued head.

"Why are you so incensed?" He yelled out, dodging her swings adroitly. "I did nothing! We are simply married, truly!"

She stopped and glared at him. "_Simply_ married? There's nothing simple about it! This is wrong in so many ways, I …I " She stopped, panting from her recent exertion as she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down.

Miroku used the moment's respite to look at her. After a minute, his gaze sharpened. "Why _is _this bothering you so much, Sango? Kagome-sama is at least giving Inuyasha a chance to explain, but you… why are you so angry about this? I know you wouldn't rather be wed to a strange villager instead. And as a comrade, I wouldn't have thought I was so completely repulsive that you wouldn't at least offer me the chance to explain. Why does this infuriate you so?"

She'd looked at him for a moment, clenching her teeth hard to prevent her jaw from quivering, and simply turned and headed back to the campsite. What was she supposed to say? I'm furious because I know this is going to end up tearing my heart right out of my chest? She wasn't about to blurt out something like that, not when he obviously still viewed her as a fighting and traveling companion. Well, and a potential lover, but it wasn't as though that was in any way unique when Miroku was involved. Hell, she was sure Miroku would even have pursued Inuyasha if the hanyou had been born with breasts.

Well, pursued him and then died spectacularly the moment he touched the hanyou's buns.

As he'd said when he was shouting out his reasons for this affair, though, the marriage hadn't resulted from any desire for her, but to protect a friend. It was humiliatingly obvious that he'd never felt that sick, painful longing that burned her stomach as she watched him approaching other women. He didn't cry himself to sleep trying to ignore his own feelings. He hadn't ever prayed to the Gods to make this feeling go away, so his future would cease to seem so bleak and painful.

He didn't love her.

And now, if he ever really discovered how she felt about him, her life would be a living hell. All her efforts to keep him ignorant about her feelings would be wasted. He might be loyal, and brave, and sometimes so compassionate and devoted to his friends that it made her ache, but… well, she could be honest about it, he was a thief, a liar, a lech…

"He should throw his robes away, honestly." She muttered to herself. With all his faults, she knew there was no way he wouldn't use the knowledge of her feelings to his advantage some night when they were alone together. And she didn't think she could survive that without either killing him, or herself, or both. So, she wouldn't let him find out. Simple. She could figure out some way for her to survive this without being completely destroyed, that's all. Some way to get through being married to the man she secretly loved, who didn't love her at all.

"Maybe I should just kill him now and get it over with." She said quietly, not sure if she was serious or not. "Or maybe Kagome can find an arrow that can purify lecherous holy men." She smiled slightly, feeling a little cheered by the ridiculous thought. Or maybe she'd just go talk to Kagome. She always seemed to find the good in things, maybe she could help with that now, too. Maybe.


	15. Ch 15 I Need to Get Angry More Often

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or anything even vaguely resembling the manga, the show, the dolls, or anything else that actually makes one red cent.

**A/N Okay, just to say…since I'm writing this darn story, I don't wanna deal with kikyou. Waaay too depressing. Hey, if I can make Inuyasha a hentai, I can make Kikyou an non-issue, right? So, let's see, Kikyou's story:**

**Kikyou gave the huge jewel shard she'd stolen to Naraku. He laughed and said, you stupid woman, you'll never get out of here alive now. And she doesn't, as he gives Kagura and Kanna the jewel temporarily and has them chop Kikyou into little clay bits and suck her into the mirror. Kikyou's bit of Kagome's soul, cagey little thing, hides behind a shoji screen and sneaks off to Kagome later that night. The end.**

**There, she's dead now, thank goodness. Feel free to be saddened at the tragedy that was her life, or do a little jig and sing 'ding dong the witch is dead,' whatever's your preference.**

**Okay, on with the rest of the story.**

**Chapter 15 – I Need to Get Angry More Often**

Sango found Kagome pacing around the camp, her lengthening shadow wavering with the light of the campfire. "Kagome…" she trailed off as Kagome looked up at her. How in the world did you start talking about something like _this_?

Kagome smiled and came over to give her a hug before sitting down by the fire, gesturing for Sango to join her.

"You okay?" Kagome asked softly. Then she chuckled. "Or should I be asking if Miroku's all right, instead? He _is_ still alive, isn't he?"

"Of course he is." Sango muttered. "Maybe not for long, but as it stands now…" Sango flushed slightly as Kagome smiled.

"Soooo…did I hear right that _you_ asked Miroku to marry you?"

Flush deepening, Sango squirmed, "No! Well, not exactly…"

Kagome patted her hand. "It's all right, Sango. I know you love him. Sake and unrequited love…it's not that much of a stretch to see how it happened." She giggled. "Although I really wish I could remember Miroku's face when you asked it. That would have been priceless!"

Sango didn't find it all that funny. "I'm glad I can't remember it. Honestly, Kagome-chan, I wish it had never happened at all. It's like being in a nightmare."

"What? Why? It's all so romantic. You and Miroku have been in love for months now, and rather than take advantage of you in your moment of weakness…which for Miroku is pretty impressive, really…he married you! It's perfect!" She sighed dreamily, teen hormones temporarily shorting out intellect.

Sango looked at her with all the disdain that piece of insanity deserved. "Perfect? You _are_ joking, aren't you?" Kagome's face radiated cheerful seriousness. "You're not joking. Kagome, this is a disaster! Miroku-sama doesn't love me! "

"That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not! He's never given me the smallest hint that he feels anything romantic towards me."

"Oh please. He tries to get a hold of your buns ever time you turn around. And if he hasn't spied on you a number times while you're bathing, I'll eat my backpack."

"He tries to get a hold of _every_ woman's buns whenever they turn around. Same for the spying. Really, if his fighting was as impressive as his libido, Naraku would have been dead a long time ago." She said grumpily.

"He's not quite _that _bad, is he?" Kagome cajoled. At Sango's glare she swallowed. "Well, all right, there have been days when he's that bad….but honestly, most of those days revolve almost entirely around you! When's the last time you saw Miroku trying to grope me, for example? There's a reason you're the focus of his attentions so often, Sango."

"Yeah…he wants to live out his remaining years without being emasculated." At Kagome's disbelieving snort, she went on. "'Do you actually believe Inuyasha hasn't had words with that hentai over this?"

The thought had Kagome considering for a moment. "You don't really think Inuyasha threatened him, do you?'

"Oh, I'm sure it was much more of a promise than a threat. Touch Kagome and you'll lose the reason for touching women in the first place…something like that. But with more cursing."

Kagome sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. He does seem to be one big, red mass of jealousy these days, doesn't he? Still, I don't think Miroku would be coming after me anyway. If you could see the way he looks at you when your back is turned … He cares about you, Sango."

"He cares about scratching an itch, that's all. And I'm not the only one he'll ask to scratch it. I'm sorry, but I can't live that way. I'm not like you, Kagome."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean, standing by Inuyasha all this time, even when he was so caught up in Kikyou…" she trailed off at the look on Kagome's face. "What I'm trying to say is, I would have, well, I would have responded differently in your situation."

"Oh really." replied Kagome, a little irritated.

"Certainly." Sango said, thinking about it. "I'd probably have started off with breaking Inuyasha's legs, and then I think I'd have broken Kikyou to pieces and made her into something really unpleasant…like a big, clay chamber pot."

Looking at her for a moment, Kagome grinned. "Okay, so we _definitely _don't react the same way. Still, doesn't that make things…easier, in a way? If Miroku strays, can't you just, you know, break _his _legs and…well, I guess the chamber pot idea is out, but I'm sure you could think of something…"

Sango smiled slightly but shook her head. "It's not that I don't know what to do TO that houshi if he started womanizing." She gritted her teeth momentarily. "Trust me, something a lot more vital than his legs is going to be in jeopardy if he starts womanizing at this point. But…I don't know what to do about how it _feels._ Gods, it hurts when he flirts with those women, Kagome! How much more will it hurt if we get even more…intimate? I don't know if I can stand it. And what if he finds out exactly how I feel? You know how he is…he'll just take advantage of it every time I get angry with him, or every time he wants something from me…"

"I think you're selling him short, Sango. I think…I think he could be a really devoted husband." At Sango's look of disbelief, she held up her hands, "He could be!"

"Yes, but can you guarantee it?" Sango asked.

"Sango…no, of course I can't. But really, with all we've been through, don't you feel like you can rely on Miroku? Hasn't he proven himself?"

"As a fighter, yes. As a companion who would willingly, I admit it, die in defense of others, yes. As a man who could remain faithful for longer than the next tea room? I don't think so. And I don't want to take the chance on him as a husband until I've seen at least _some _evidence that I could count on him in that way. Which I won't, because he doesn't think about me in that manner, so why would he even bother to try and restrain himself?"

Kagome's face grew worried. "So, what are you going to do? Divorce him?"

"I don't know…I suppose, maybe, in a year or so I could do so. I have no plans on being intimate with that man, so claiming that I'm barren shouldn't be too hard."

"What about if you wanted to marry again?" her hopes for a happy ending for Sango fading slightly.

"I don't think that's likely." Sango whispered miserably, "I can't see another man being able to take his place for quite some time, Kagome. Damn Houshi." She stared down at her hands, quietly, biting her lip.

"I thought about leaving the group…" she finally said.

"What!"

"Don't worry, I'm not. I don't think I have a chance of finishing Naraku, or ever finding Kohaku, if I go out on my own. Aside from missing you all. It was really tempting though. " She said, sighing. "As it stands now, I need to find a way to keep _my husband_ away from me for the next year or two."

Kagome shook her head. "Good luck on that one. Mr. Grab Ass finally has an officially sanctioned chance to put his hands on you, the object of a large number of lustful fantasies…"

"Kagome!"

"…you know it's true! Anyway, the day he doesn't try to put the make on you is the day someone ties his hands behinds his back and drowns him in the nearest lake. Of course, you can just smack him like you usually do and you'll probably be fine." Kagome mused, almost to herself.

When Sango squirmed silently for a moment, Kagome grew curious. "Sango-chan? What's the matter?"

"I can't keep fighting back."

"Why not? You're still stronger than he is, if that's…"

"It's not that, it's… He's starting to get suspicious."

"Suspicious of what?"

"How I feel. Why I got so angry over the marriage when, for once, he didn't actually take advantage. He's really going to start wondering what's wrong when I'm still objecting to him…touching me…even though we're married. He's already aware that I don't find him repulsive. Aside from that, there's no reason I can give him for keeping him at arms length at this point."

"Um, how about because you don't feel like it? Being a wife isn't a reason why you shouldn't be able to tell him to shove off."

"Maybe not in your time, Kagome, but Miroku-sama won't see it that way." Sango replied.

"Well, not unless he's recently been unfaithful." She added honestly, "and so he _will_ be wondering why I fight him so hard on this. I just know that devious little brain of his will figure it out. I don't want that to happen. I _refuse_ to let that happen when he doesn't love me."

Kagome stared at her. "So, you don't want to become more intimate with him, but you can't divorce him yet, and you_ don't_ want to beat the snot out of him. What _are_ you planning to do, then?"

Sango bit her lip for a moment. "I don't know. I was thinking…maybe I if I simply mask my feelings when I'm around him, it won't give him the clues he needs to discover how I feel. And it might give me the time I need to figure out something to do."

"Mask your feelings? I thought that's what slapping him silly was all about!"

"No, that's letting out the anger. If I'm really going to have a chance at concealing this from him, I'm going to have to be as tricky as that slippery houshi is. I'm going to have to stop acting on _any_ of my first impulses. Then, well, then maybe the window to my soul will be hazy enough that he won't be able to see in…"

Kagome looked at her sadly, and a little strangely "Sooo, the plan isn't to flee or to fight, but to hide, is that it?" Sango nodded reluctantly. "I don't know, Sango. I would think there are a lot better ways to solve this. You know, things that actually address the problem? On top of that, Miroku is awfully hard to fool. Trying to trick him is probably going to end badly."

Sango shook her head, latching onto her plan like a drowning sailor. "I've got to do something!" she said a little desperately.

"But if you're not planning on beating him away when he comes after you, if you think he'll start to get suspicious if you refuse his attentions, what _are _you going to do when he starts trying to, well, you know – to you?"

Sango blushed slightly but firmed her lips together as she thought. "Feign indifference." She said finally. "He's a lech, but I know him. I don't believe he'll find anything appealing about trying to make love to someone who finds his attentions completely uninteresting."

Kagome tilted her head as she looked at her. "I suppose… I don't know if I'd trust Miroku that much with _my_ body, honestly, but if that's what you want to do."

"It is…for a little while, anyway. Compared to letting him break my heart, how hard can it be to smile when I want to scowl, or be still when I really want to slap him?" she asked reasonably.

Kagome gave up. "Fine, do it your way. Although if mere passivity could really do that much to stop a lecher, I'd think we'd have heard about it more. Anyway, I still say he cares about you. He married you, after all!"

"I've seen our Houshi sacrifice a lot to keep a companion from getting hurt. I don't see that keeping me from marrying a stranger is any different."

Kagome waved the thought away. "Now you sound like Inuyasha." At Sango's blank look, she elaborated, "If he wanted to stop you, he could have done it without a wedding! He wouldn't have married you if somewhere, deep down, he didn't want to."

"Kagome, don't be foolish. I'm a better fighter than he is; it's highly unlikely he could have stopped me by force. He simply did what he felt he had to in order to help a comrade." Sango explained patiently.

"I don't believe that for a minute. A better fighter? Just for the sake of argument, let's say that you are…when you're not so drunk that you can barely stand up! Maybe he would have taken a bit of a beating before he got you out of there, but that never seems to stop him when he wants to grab _other_ parts of your anatomy! He cares about you."

Sango shook her head. "Kagome, I just can't believe that. I can't _afford_ to believe that. I really, truly can't cope with him knowing how I feel if he doesn't feel the same." She whispered miserably. "It's simply too much to bear on top of everything else. I _can't _deal with that, Kagome. I- I'm just going to have to try and keep him off balance and in the dark until I know what else to do."

Kagome sighed to herself. Poor Sango. Well, she'd see what she could do to get Miroku to confess his feelings, but in the meantime… "All right, just let me know if you need any help. Okay?" Sango nodded. They were both silent a few moments before Sango spoke again.

"So, what about you and Inuyasha? What did you two talk about?"

Kagome colored slightly. "All he'd say was that he married me because he 'wanted to' and then he ran off. What the heck does he mean, he married me because he wanted to? He can't…he can't mean it the way it sounds, can he?" she asked with a tinge of hope in her voice.

"Well, he's not exactly subtle, is he? What else could he mean?" Sango asked reasonably, quite happy to talk about someone _else's _problems finally.

Kagome didn't speak for a few moments. "I don't know. I've thought about it since he went running off, but it's hard to imagine he cares that much about me. I know he gets jealous all the time, and he's pretty possessive, but…I always thought it was a bit more like a kid who doesn't want to share his toy, you know what I mean? It's just, I've cared about him for so long now…" she fumbled to a stop.

"_Baka_. He _never_ says what he feels. Never! It makes me so mad. It's just like that idiot to marry me while I'm smashed. Why couldn't he just wait until I was sober if he wanted to ask me something serious like this?" Kagome paused, and then answered before Sango could say a word. "I guess he was probably too worried I'd say no. He is so emotionally closed off, though! Why couldn't he tell me what he felt, just once!"

Scowling slightly, she continued her litany of complaints. "And he always orders me around and yells at me and…we fight all the time! What the hell was he thinking, marrying me when we can't even go through one day without fighting! And I'm still in highschool!"

Sango took the opportunity to interrupt Kagome's monologue. "Is being in highschool so much of an impediment?"

"It – it's difficult in my time. It's not impossible, but it's not that usual where I come from."

"Is that the biggest problem, then, when you think of being married?"

"That and the fighting!"

Sango laughed softly. "I think if you and Inuyasha didn't fight, your heads would explode. You still care about him, even though you argue all the time, yes?" Kagome nodded. "And I _know_ your attracted to him …he is pretty in a rather exotic way, eh?" Kagome blushed hotly. "On top of that, it's obvious that he cares for you as well, no matter how often you fight. When it comes down to it, for two opinionated, strong-willed people such as you and Inuyasha, I don't think that constant arguments are something you can expect to avoid."

"Really?" Kagome asked skeptically. "Don't you think we should be, I don't know, getting along better than we do now?"

"Well, there's probably _some_ things that you need to figure out" Sango admitted, "but I think you and Inuyasha are simply a couple that uses their arguing to bring things into the open and hash them out, that's all."

Obviously thinking about what she was going to say next, Kagome paused. "But…I still don't know if he loves me, Sango. I love him so much it scares me, but I don't know if he thinks about me that way."

Smiling at her, Sango patted her hand. "If it helps, I'm pretty sure he _does_ care about you. If you could see how absolutely miserable he is when you go home for a few days, you wouldn't be so worried. It's very sweet how much he mopes without you. Whether you want to take a chance on this or not, though… Well, I'm not willing to, so I wouldn't blame you a bit if you wished to end the marriage right now."

Kagome looked down at her hands, twisting them together nervously. "I am so angry that he did this that I could honestly kill him, Sango. I think it's crazy and wrong and it'll probably never work, but…" her voice lowered miserably. "I don't want to end this. I mean, the whole thing really has Inuyasha's style written all over it, doesn't it? Doing what he wants and then feeling bad about it afterwards. The only thing is, he must have wanted to marry me, at least at first. And, I love him, Sango." She said softly. "If he really wants this, if this will make him happy…I'm willing to give it a try. I just…I may need some support along the way, you know? Especially when he's acting like such a jerk," she added.

Sango smiled at her. "Whatever you need."

"I just wish you could come with me when I have to tell my mother." Kagome grumbled, and Sango laughed. "All right, we better get to bed. It doesn't look like those idiots are coming back yet, and Shippou's already asleep." She looked over at Kirara's demon form and the two small feet sticking out behind it, smiling.

Sango nodded, and they began to bed down for the night, continuing to talk until they both fell asleep.

xxxxxxx

Inuyasha crept closer to the still form on the ground, claws out. He wouldn't have more than a few moments, he knew, so he'd have to be fast. He tensed to spring…

"I wouldn't bother, Inuyasha. I already ate it." Came Miroku's voice from the darkness. Inuyasha slumped.

"What? But I can still smell it!" he whined, sitting heavily on the ground next to Miroku as the monk sat up and leaned against the tree.

"I heard you coming." Miroku said calmly, making Inuyasha growl.

"So why didn't you save any for me!"

"I was hungry, " he shrugged, " so I made sure to eat the last two before you got here." he finished, gesturing to the small green skewers that had recently held a few small fish.

Inuyasha glared at him and smacked him in the back of the head hard enough to knock him over. Miroku sighed as he pushed himself back up.

"Inuyasha, have you _ever_ considered restraining an impulse periodically?" he asked, rubbing the lump on the back of his head. "Trust me, I have enough bruises from the past few days that I'm not in danger of running out any time in the near future."

"Feh." Inuyasha snorted, and stared up at the few stars now visible through the forest canopy. "What do you plan to do?" he asked.

Miroku didn't even pause before he answered. "I'm going to find a way to get Sango to come to terms with being my wife." He sighed softly. "It's ironic how life develops, isn't it? I think, deep down, I'd planned on asking her, when we'd defeated Naraku. I thought I'd have more time, though…"

"To fool around?" Inuyasha asked.

"No! To…to prove myself to her. To woo her." After a long pause where Miroku could practically feel Inuyasha's stare, he sighed. "All right, maybe I needed some time to come to terms with the idea of being with just one woman for the rest of my life, as well. It doesn't change the fact that I still would have chosen Sango, in the end."

"Huh, guess Kagome was right. She thought you were hot for Sango."

Miroku flushed. "I hadn't realized I was quite that obvious with my intentions."

"It's not like you don't try to grab her ass every chance you get. Kagome seems to have some grope radar that can tell the difference between Sango and all the other women, I guess. I don't see it, to tell you the truth."

"Well, Kagome can be very perceptive…"

"I think Shippou's mentioned it before, too."

Miroku choked. "_Shippou_ noticed!"

"Yeah, weird. Like I said, I don't see it."

Miroku put his head in his hands. "Wonderful. Simply wonderful. If I've been that obvious-"

"Hey, I said I hadn't noticed anything!"

"Like I said, if I've been that obvious, there's no possible way Sango isn't aware of my feelings. And if that's the case, it's clear she doesn't return them. At least judging from her reaction to my overtures."

"You mean when you squeeze her butt? Huh, so _that's_ what an overture is."

Miroku looked up to glare at the dark patch that was all he could see of the half-demon. " Very funny." He breathed deeply. "I'll simply have to persevere. We're married now, after all. I'm certain that can create a number of opportunities for wooing…" He didn't sound completely sure.

"Personally, I think you're in for a life long term of constant ass kicking, but if that's what you want…"

Miroku held on to his temper with the ease of long practice. "Yes, that's what I want." He said patiently. "And since we're on the topic of 'ass kicking,' as you put it, what is happening with you and Kagome-sama?"

Inuyasha flushed, thankful it was too dark for Miroku to see anything but his outline. "We're fine."

Miroku smirked to himself. "I'm glad to hear that. I didn't ask how you were, however, I asked what occurred between the two of you."

Inuyasha sighed. "Who the hell knows. She was furious about the wedding, and then she's furious about the wedding _again_ and I don't even know what the first fight was even about! And now she wants to know why the wedding happened in the first place and what am I going to say?"

"You love her and you're an impulsive _baka_? I think that would explain the situation adequately."

You know, I've always liked Miroku, his conscience mused.

_Shut up, you._

Inuyasha growled at Miroku. "That's not how it was and you know it. It just…it just kinda- happened."

"Well, you do love her, don't you?"

"You know I do, you damn prying Houshi." He muttered uncomfortably.

"And she loves you…" Miroku trailed off as Inuyasha cleared his throat.

"Yeah, I guess she does…maybe. Does a confession from a drunk mean anything, though?"

"In this case? Definitely. So, what are you planning?"

"None of your damn business!"

Inuyasha, interrupted his conscience, considering your track record, maybe you should run this by him.

_Hell no. 'Sides, HIS track record with women involves a lot more pain than mine does…_

Bullshit. Do the words "_Osuwari_" ring a bell?

_That's different._

Uh huh. Trust me, a pissed off woman is a pissed off woman and it doesn't matter _how_ you pissed them off. Either way, you end up with your ass on the ground and your face full of dirt.

_Fine. I'm still not telling him, though._

Your funeral.

Inuyasha growled in frustration.

"There's no need to act that way." Miroku said, holding up his hands defensively. "If you don't want to discuss it, I won't insist. Let me simply say that when you get into trouble, I'm at your disposal."

"Who says I'm going to get into trouble with Kagome?"

Miroku raised an eyebrow that Inuyasha's night vision picked up just fine. "As I said, I'll be at your disposal."

"Hmph, fine, whatever. Just close your damn eyes and get to sleep, Miroku. I don't want to get back to camp too late for breakfast."

"You're not heading back to the camp tonight?"

"Are you kidding? Do I _look _like I have a death wish? I'm staying out here where it's safe. And anyway, I don't see you getting set to go back!"

"Aren't you worried about leaving the women alone?"

"Kirara's there. She'll roar if there's a problem. And if you're really that worried about it, why aren't you heading over there already, dummy?"

"Surprisingly, I, too, have a certain fondness for my own existence, and…Kirara's trustworthy. I think I'll stay here. This tree feels perfectly comfortable."

Inuyasha snorted, but didn't argue as he closed his eyes to try and get a few hours of sleep before daybreak came.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning, Sango happened to be looking towards the woods just as Miroku and Inuyasha entered the camps clearing. Miroku watched as her face froze, and then she smiled slowly. He stopped dead so quickly that Inuyasha had to leap to the side to avoid running into him.

"Hey, walk stupid on your own time!" he said angrily. Miroku took a step back from the camp. "What's wrong with you?"

"Look at her." Miroku whispered out of the side of his mouth.

Inuyasha looked up to see Sango's smile, and then watched as she stiffly gestured for them to come join her. Miroku's eyes grew even wider.

"Was that a _whimper_ you just made?" Inuyasha asked suspiciously.

"There is no possible way Sango can be that happy this soon after yesterday's fiasco. " Miroku said quietly, watching Sango like a hypnotized snake. "I can think of few reasons for her to be feeling cheerful, and most of them involve the loss of body parts that I'm fairly attached to, Inuyasha. I believe I'll wait a few more days before I rejoin you."

"Hell no! You're gonna leave me alone with TWO angry women? I don't think so! And I sure as hell ain't slinking off like a kicked dog " Miroku snorted. "…you know what I mean, asshole…you're comin' with me and you'll take your ass-kicking like a man."

Inuyasha reached for Miroku only to have his clawed hand slapped away. "What are you, a girl?" Inuyasha grumbled, reaching out again. Miroku hopped back, and turned towards the forest, but Inuyasha leaped over his head and landed in front of him, claws out.

"Inuyasha, get out of my way. I'm leaving." Miroku said sternly, batting away another grasping hand with his staff. Two more ineffective tries was all it took to really irritate the hanyou.

"Fuck this. You're going back into the camp NOW."

Sango, who had shaken her head and turned back to the fire when Miroku and Inuyasha started snapping at each other, looked up at Miroku's sudden yell. She was just in time to see him fly overhead before landing with an unpleasant thud about 3 feet away from her. Looking back, she found Inuyasha dusting his hands and sporting a smug grin as he came the rest of the way into the camp. Idiots, she grumbled to herself, and then remembering her decision to not act on impulse, smiled at them both rather than glaring as she wanted to.

Inuyasha's own smile faded as Sango's grin swept past him, and Miroku got up quickly and started patting at the dust on his robes.

"Good morning, Sango. You look quite lovely today. Feeling better than yesterday, I imagine? I'm sure you and Kagome had lots to talk about…" he paused abruptly, cleared his throat, and kept on babbling, "I mean, well, lots to catch up on. Ahem…How about Inuyasha and I find breakfast for everyone?" he said, smiling brightly and backing away from her towards Inuyasha.

"That's all right, Houshi-sama. Kagome-chan started breakfast already. She's just finishing up her business in the bushes and then I'm sure it will be ready to serve." Sango said.

"All right!" Inuyasha chortled, rubbing his hands together gleefully as Miroku sighed. inuyasha stopped as Sango grinned in his direction and his ears turned back a little.

"Ah. I see. I suppose we could start gathering up our belongings…" Miroku said slowly, edging toward the edge of the camp to go look for any imaginary item that might have been left out of their bags. Inuyasha joined him as Sango stared after them. When she smiled once again for a moment, they both flinched before turning away.

"That is just fuckin' creepy." Inuyasha muttered. Miroku glanced up at him.

"Excuse me?"

"That look on her face, and her smell. They don't match _at all_." A moment later, he smirked. "Glad _I'm_ not the one married to her. Yup, certainly happy not to be the one who'll have to watch his step every day if he doesn't want to end up crippled, or gelded, or…"

"Your point has been taken already." Miroku said quickly, resisting an urge to cup himself, and added, "I _knew_ she wasn't happy to see me." He thought a moment. "Actually, no, this doesn't make any sense. I thought she was happy to see me, but merely because she was planning to take out her frustrations on my person once again. You're certain she wasn't angry _and_ happy?"

"Uh uh. Trust my nose more than eyes, and I can tell ya, she is _not_ happy. Not sure what she _is_ feelin'. Angry or upset or sad or scared…there's a bunch of that in there, but…eh, women are always difficult to read. The only thing I can tell ya is that there's ain't no happy smell floating around there."

"I wonder what she's planning…" Miroku muttered.

"I know." Piped up Shippou. Miroku and Inuyasha stopped, looking down at him.

"Where the hell have you been, pipsqueak?" Inuyasha asked

"Here in camp. The entire time Kagome and Sango were talking. They thought I was sleeping." Inuyasha and Miroku exchanged glances before drawing Shippou farther away from the campfire.

"You heard them?" Miroku asked carefully.

""Uh huh. I even took notes." He said, holding up a notebook Kagome had given him for drawing and showing them some nearly illegible pictures drawn across the paper in rows. Inuyasha peered over to make sure Sango wasn't paying attention, as Miroku pulled Shippou closer.

"The women discussed…us?" Miroku asked softly.

"Oh yeah. For hours."

"What did they say?"

Shippou's smile grew sly. "What is it worth to you?"

"Our not kicking you across the forest, you little runt." Inuyasha snarled, bopping him on the head.

"Ow! Maybe I just won't tell you at all! I'm sure Kagome and Sango would love to know that you asked me to spy on them for you, though."

"We did not!" sputtered Inuyasha.

"They'll think you did when I'm done talking with them." Shippou said smugly.

"Why you underhanded little –"

Miroku held up a hand to Inuyasha and turned to Shippou. "Shippou, " he said gently, "I don't think you want to do that. Because if you do, you can trust that Inuyasha and I will make sure to visit upon you _every_ bruise and lump that we receive because of it."

He smiled slowly, "On top of that, it's not nice to try to blackmail someone who can suck you into a bottomless void. Just think, there wouldn't even be a body left as evidence."

Shippou looked up at Miroku's fierce smile, seeing Inuyasha baring his fangs from behind him. "You wouldn't really do that to a little kid. You can't fool me."

Miroku smiled wider. "Care to try me?" Shippou gulped, thinking about it. Was it worth it?

"Stupid monk, picking on a little kid." He mumbled.

"Shippou…" Miroku said in warning.

"Fine! I give up! What do you want to know, you big bully."

"What did they say about me?" Inuyasha blurted quickly.

Looking down at his small pictures, Shippou concentrated for a moment. "Hmmm, they said that you weren't subtle, you're an idiot, you always order her around and yell at Kagome, you and Kagome fight all the time, it's crazy and wrong …"

"Didn't they say _anything_ good about me? Or the marriage?" Inuyasha interrupted.

"Well, I didn't catch everything. They could have slipped something in there while I was writing…Oh, here's something, Sango thought you were pretty." Inuyasha's eyes grew wide and he glanced over to Miroku to see the man's eyes narrow slightly.

"Uh, that's fine, you don't have to say anymore."

"…Sango thought you were very sweet, too, and- " Inuyasha covered the kitsune's mouth and growled at him.

"Shut up!" he said quickly, releasing him when he finally nodded. Inuyasha could feel the monk's stare through his clothes and deliberately kept his gaze on the little fox.

"So, "said Miroku slowly, "What exactly did Inuyasha do for Sango that was so…sweet?"

"Dunno. I just wrote down that she thought he was sweet. Hard to picture, isn't it?"

Miroku nodded, "Very much so. So much so that I can't imagine Inuyasha doesn't recall whatever incident she was talking about?"

"Me? I don't know why the hell she'd say that about me!" Inuyasha said, finally turning to look at the monk's glare.

"Truly?" Miroku asked skeptically.

Man with a freakin' hole in his hand that can suck your sorry hanyou ass into oblivion! Convince him! Yelled his conscience.

_You're not helping, so shut up!_

"Miroku, I'm an asshole! You know that. Hell, if Kagome really loves me like she said, she should think I'm great, and even _she_ thinks I'm a jerk! Maybe Sango was just trying to make her feel better, or something. But I haven't done anything nice to Sango at all. Nothing!"

Miroku nodded once, his face clearing instantly. "All right then. You know, Inuyasha, it's quite nice to be around someone who is such a poor liar."

"I'm not lying!" Inuyasha said indignantly.

"I know. You're not that good." Miroku said, and Inuyasha scowled at him, realizing he'd been conned.

"Crap, don't scare me like that. Idiot."

Miroku smiled a bit at that, and turned towards Shippou again.

"After all that, I'm almost reluctant to find out about my own situation, but a little information is better than nothing at this point, I suppose. What was said about Sango and I?" he asked.

Shippou looked at him nervously, and then back at his drawings. "Kagome thinks it's romantic, but Sango thinks it's a nightmare." Miroku closed his eyes briefly, but waved Shippou to continue when he stopped there.

"I'm sure there's more. Go on, finish it."

"Uh, they talked about you grabbing Sango all the time, and spying on her at the hot springs…"

"Ha, told you they knew." gloated Inuyasha

"Don't laugh, you only know 'cause you were spying too, you hentai hanyou." Miroku said. Inuyasha flushed and stopped smiling.

"Uh, yeah, well…you have a really impressive…libido?" Shippou looked in the direction of Miroku's groin. "Is it really that big? I thought it was kinda average, but…"

"Just go on, Shippou!" Miroku said, flushing himself as Inuyasha started laughing.

"Hmmmm, Inuyasha is the reason that Kagome's bottom is safe from wandering hands…"

'Damn straight." Inuyasha interjected.

"…Sango plans to break your legs, or other parts, sometime soon," Miroku groaned, "Oh, and she's going to divorce you in a year or so, as soon as she can show she's barren."

"WHAT!" Miroku opened his eyes and grabbed the notebook from Shippou, only to hand it back moments later when he realized there was no way he could figure out the scribbling that Shippou was using. "She's going to try and divorce me?"

"Uh huh."

Miroku stared into space, surprised at how hurt he felt. She disliked marriage to him _that _much? But…if she was so averse to this marriage, why did she agree to it in the first place? She might have been drunk, but _she _was the one who had wanted to get married! _She_ was the one who made it so that he had to marry her if she wasn't to marry someone else!! He started scowling.

Was it just him? If she'd succeeded in marrying another man, would she have been as unhappy in marriage to them, or would she have been celebrating her new union? Would she have let another man kiss that sensual little mouth of hers? Would she even now be laying in the arms of her new husband? He had a vivid image of another man's hands reaching around to palm Sango's bottom and swore, losing his temper completely.

"Divorce me?" He spat. "Divorce me! If she thinks she can simply toss me aside, when _she _was the one who castigated me about being faithless? How can she even _consider_... " He fumed, his hands gripping his staff as though he'd like to pound on someone with it. "There is absolutely no way in heaven or hell THAT'S going to happen! Does she think I'll simply stand back and let her leave me without a fight? We're married because _she_ insisted on it! And now she wants to walk out on her commitment and divorce me? How can she believe it's even a possibility?"

"If she's barren, though…" Inuyasha said quietly. A little intimidated, he and Shippou were watching Miroku nervously. Hell, Miroku wasn't even this pissed about _getting_ married, Inuyasha thought.

Miroku shot him a fierce look. "She's just using it as an excuse. If she thinks I will let her leave without saying a word, she's in for an unpleasant awakening."

"I don't know, Miroku." Inuyasha said, "Sango kicks your ass on a regular basis. If it's coming down to a real fight, are you sure you want to take her on?"

Instead of calming the monk down, Inuyasha's words seemed to spark his fury even more. "Are you implying that I should let my wife leave me because she can _fight_ better than I can?"

"Well…"

"Is that what everyone thinks? That in a battle between Sango and I, I would come out the loser?"

"You do end up on the ground an awful lot." Shippou reminded him.

"Because I'm not about to fight back when I'm in the wrong! And I could hurt her! That doesn't mean I _can't_ or _won't _fight back! What, does everyone think I'd be too afraid of my wife to keep her from leaving me??" When Inuyasha and Shippou avoided his eyes and shifted uncomfortably, Miroku started swearing again. "Is _that_ why Sango thinks she can leave so easily, because she believes I'm so spineless that I won't even risk objecting?! She is the most infuriating, maddening… I swear, if I have anything to say about it, she's going to be so big with my child a year from now that she won't even be able to walk! Barren, hah!" He snarled.

"Um, Miroku? She did say she was going to be doing something to keep you away from her." Shippou added softly.

"Oh, I think not. Nothing short of death is keeping me away _now_!"

Inuyasha scowled at him. "Houshi, you better not be talking about…about taking her against her will. You'll have to go through me first."

"What type of man do you think I am!" Miroku asked, scowling just as fiercely back.

"A really furious one."

"I still wouldn't… I'm talking about _seduction_, not force!"

"Oh." Inuyasha stopped scowling immediately. "That's different then. Go for it. Get your ass kicked to your heart's content." Miroku glared at him. "Sorry, go seduce your wife, houshi. Good luck."

Miroku's expression didn't change by much, but he turned back toward the camp, walking determinedly towards Sango.

"5,000 yen says he ends up on his back." Said Shippou quietly. "I still think Sango can kick his ass."

"I don't take sucker bets." Inuyasha whispered back, and they both stood back to watch the show.

Sango heard Miroku walking closer and fought the urge to pretend ignorance. She looked up at him and forced herself to smile again. She was going to strain a cheek muscle at the rate she was smiling, she thought in annoyance. The smile dropped from her face as Miroku reached her and pulled her to her feet by her shoulders.

"Wha-" she managed before he put one hand around the back of her head and pulled her in for a kiss. She put her hands up to push at his chest, and then paused. Passive, that's right. Just act completely unaffected and he'll just leave. She wanted to kick the shit out of him, but…calm, Sango, just stay calm, she told herself. He'll leave you alone in a second.

Her brain stopped working, however, as Miroku deepened the kiss. His other hand reached around behind her to palm her bottom and yank her closer as he plunged his tongue into the warm wetness of her mouth. Dear God, his mouth was hot. Her hands involuntarily fisted in his robes and she sucked on his tongue, hard.

He growled, pulling his tongue back until hers followed it, capturing her tongue inside his own mouth as he closed his lips slightly and suckled. Sango's knees gave out at the sensation and he grasped her bottom more firmly to keep her up. Feeling him grow hard against her belly, sparks consumed her from the inside out, gathering in her breasts and between her legs. Miroku continued to play with her lips and tongue, consuming her entire mouth with languorous fervor. She heard him groan her name as he released her tongue to start kissing his way down her face and neck. She could feel a moan of her own coming when…

"Sango-chan?" Kagome blurted from behind her. Sango pushed at Miroku frantically, surprised at how much effort she needed to use to break his hold. She turned away from him to face Kagome with bright red cheeks and unstable legs. Miroku stood behind her, breathing hard but sporting a huge, smug grin.

"Uh, Kagome-chan…h-hello. All done?" She said shakily, and Kagome raised her eyebrows at her, obviously suppressing a smile.

She nodded to them. "Sango-chan. Miroku-sama. Having a good morning?" she asked lightly. Sango groaned quietly to herself and mumbled out something about needing to use the bushes, running away as fast as her weak legs could take her.

Inuyasha and Shippou watched all this with jaws hanging open.

"Damn." said Inuyasha in admiration.

"Yeah, "said Shippou, "I'm glad you didn't take the bet."

Remind me to ask him for some lessons, Inuyasha's conscience added.

_Damn_.

As Sango disappeared into the trees, Miroku nodded briefly to Kagome and walked back over to Inuyasha and Shippou.

"How the hell did you pull _that_ off?" Inuyasha asked.

Miroku smiled and rubbed his lips thoughtfully. "I'm not sure. I think…"

"Yeah?"

"If that's the result, I think I need to get angry more often."


	16. Ch 16 Inuyasha's Plan

Disclaimer – don't own Inuyasha, the characters from it, the manga, the anime, etc…

**A/N Thanks again for the reviews!**

**Miroku vocab word of the day: philogyny – fondness for women**

**Chapter 16 – Inuyasha's Plan**

The three males stood there for a few minutes, Miroku and Shippou fading from Inuyasha's awareness as he watched Kagome finish making the breakfast porridge. She glanced at a him, caught him staring, and smiled slightly before going back to her work. Her cheeks grew rosier as he continued to watch. Damn, she's so beautiful, he thought. How in the world am I going to…

So, what's the plan again, Inuyasha's conscience interrupted.

_Don't you know already? _

Yeah, but it never hurts to double check things. Why don't you run it by me again, just to make sure I _really_ understand it.

_I just need to show Kagome why being married to me is a good thing._

You mean, why it's better than the way things were _before_ you were married, right?

_Yeah._

That's what I thought you were thinking.

_Why the hell did you ask, then?_

There was always the possibility that it was all some terrible hallucination due to hunger, or maybe brain damage._ His conscience went on in an irritated mutter. _…or constant, unrelenting sexual frustration.

_Oh, fuck you._

Well, that _would_ take care of the frustration part…

Inuyasha growled. _Shut up, already! It's a good plan!_

It's not a plan, it's an idea. And considering that so far, you haven't thought of ANYTHING that makes being married to you a good thing, I don't think this _idea_ is going to accomplish a whole hell of a lot.

_I just need to think about it a little more, that's all!_

Uh huh, right. I don't know why I bother but here, let me help so you don't strain yourself, genius. Think about it: what is different now that you and Kagome are married? What can you give her as a husband?

_I can protect her, ha!_

You do that now, dumbass. What else?

_Uh…I'd be a good provider…_

Of what, exactly?

_Food?_

Give me a break. There's a reason Kagome is in charge of the food! You do okay on the gathering, I'll admit. And you might do well on the hunting…if you can keep from _completely_ destroying the animal when you kill it, which isn't always a sure thing.

_That boar was charging! I had to act fast…_

Yeah, well, _I_ like to eat on a regular basis, and _Kagome_ like's to eat on a regular basis, so why don't we just put your provisioning skills in the 'maybe' column, eh? Honestly, Inuyasha, you don't have a lot to offer her that she didn't already have when you _weren't_ wed. Face it, you two were like a married couple before you even got married!

_We were not!_

Let's see: sleep together, eat together, protect each other, fight like cats and dogs…sounds married to me! Of course, maybe there is _one_ thing missing that you could give her now.

_What?_

You know.

_What's with you and Kagome these days! Would I fucking ask if I fucking knew! What is it?_

Oh, c'mon now, what _else_ can you do for, well with, Kagome now that you're married? Anything? Anything different you can do now that you're together? Something you haven't been able to do before now?

Inuyasha thought hard for a moment before sighing heavily. _You made your point. You're right, there's nothing I can offer her that she doesn't already have. This is hopeless._

Jeez, that's not the point at all! _His conscience growled in frustration._ SEX! Sex, you idiot! You can HAVE SEX! You can give her sex and babies! THAT'S what you can do now that you're married. Holy crap, you are the densest hanyou on the planet! How many times do I have to hint about this before you get a freakin' clue, you idiot! Hell, Kouga figured it out months ago! You don't think he was planning to take her as his mate and then go to a tea ceremony, did ya?

_Will you stop talking about Kouga!_

Kouga, Kouga, Kouga.

_Oh, fucking grow up._

Look, take a page from Miroku's book and seduce your wife, dammit! Do you know how long I waited for you to get off your ass and kiss that woman in the first place? It took fucking _forever_! I do not plan to wait that long again until we actually make love!

_This is Kagome! I can't – I can't just seduce her! It's underhanded, and – and sneaky, and…_

You have no fucking clue how to seduce someone, do you?

..._ no._

Go talk to Miroku. Now. Before you try this on your own and I lose any hope of seeing Kagome naked before we die.

_Fine._

Fine.

Inuyasha turned to say something to Miroku only to find him already by the fireside, sitting next to Shippou and wolfing down breakfast like one starved. Inuyasha realized he'd been standing there talking to himself so intently that he'd missed the call for food, and sheepishly walked over to get a bowl from Kagome.

"H-how are you feeling?" he asked tentatively, holding his bowl in his hands and sitting down next to her.

"Fine." She said without looking up from her own food.

"Um, you're head's not hurting you so much anymore?"

"No, it's much better now." Kagome was feeling very self-conscious having him sitting right next to her, especially when she kept seeing Miroku and Sango kissing in her head. She had finally, fully come to terms with the whole situation during the night. In the end, it was quite simple. She could either accept marriage to the man she loved, or run from it. She hadn't been the type of girl to run away when things were difficult, not in a long time. So, easy, she stayed.

Coming to terms with Inuyasha's stupidity and how much he irritated her might take a bit longer to work through, but she was definitely going to try. Right now, however, she was simply enjoying sitting together. It had been a while since they could just sit quietly. She'd forgotten how restful it could be, how nice it felt.

She was concentrating on him so intently, it was almost as though she could feel the heat of him through her clothes. Wait a second, she _could _feel the heat of him through her clothes! She looked down to her side abruptly to see his arm disappear behind her back and felt one large, warm palm gently squeeze her bottom. Woah, time out! She hadn't thought about _that_ yet!

"Wha- Inuyasha! Inuyasha, what are you doing!" she squeaked, turning bright red. And then she panicked and threw her porridge at him, hitting him square in the face. He sputtered for a moment.

"Hey, what the hell was that for?" he asked, growling as he pushed the sticky paste out of his eyes.

"You were- You had your hand –" she suddenly became aware of the _very_ interested gazes of Miroku and Shippou a few feet away. "You know very well what that was for!" she hissed. His ears drooped as confusion spread across his face.

"But, but I thought…"

"Yeah, well…just stop thinking, okay?" she managed to get out past her embarrassment, before turning to head after Sango and into the woods.

What the hell was that? roared his conscience.

_What? You said I should get advice from Miroku! He does this all the time…_

ADVICE! That means _talk _to him, not _act _like him! Shit, what an idiot. There's a _reason_ that Sango smacks Miroku around so much.

_Well, how the hell was I supposed to know? He did it just a few minutes ago and everything was fine! I thought maybe the marriage…_

Technique. You gotta remember technique. _Inuyasha's conscience was quite a moment. _I will give you this, though. Kagome's bottom was, well…

_Amazing._

That's the word I was looking for. We gotta talk to Miroku _soon_.

Inuyasha looked over at Miroku and Shippou as he heard guffaws break out.

"If you could see your face, Inuyasha!" Miroku chortled.

"What?" he snapped irritably.

Miroku wiped a tear from his eye as he continued laughing. "…and the look on _Kagome's_ face! I don't know who was more shocked, you or her!"

"I don't see what's so funny! This shit happens to you all the time, you stupid monk!"

"But not to you and Kagome." Broke in Shippou. "It's _much_ funnier when you do it."

Inuyasha flushed. "Is not, you stupid fox."

Miroku managed to devolve into chuckles as opposed to outright laughter. "I'm sorry, you're right, we shouldn't laugh." He said, biting his lip as it trembled with the effort not to start off again. "It's simply that…I don't believe I have _ever_ seen you approach Kagome with that particular, ahem, body part on your mind. It was quite unexpected."

"I don't know why." Inuyasha muttered, annoyed, "We're married now, aren't we?"

Like you didn't need me to point this part out, you big faker, his conscience interjected.

_We'll talk about it later, jerk._

Miroku cleared his throat. "You're not foolish enough to think that this is somehow the panacea to all your troubles, are you? Marriage won't cure all the difficulties you and Kagome had before you were wed, Inuyasha."

"I know that!"

"…and that means that if you want to …become intimate with your wife, you'll need to take it slowly. It's new for her to, remember."

Inuyasha scowled at Miroku, completely uncomfortable with Shippou standing next to them and listening to all of this. "Shippou, go see how the girls are doing, okay?"

"Aw, but I want to stay and – "

"NOW!" Shippou scowled at Inuyasha, sticking his tongue out before scampering off after the women.

Inuyasha turned back to Miroku, already in a bad mood. "Slowly, huh? Like you just did with Sango? That didn't look too slow to me!"

Miroku looked somewhat abashed. "That was a mistake. But you have to remember that Sango and I have been doing this a lot longer than you and Kagome!"

"What, grabbing her ass counts as foreplay now! That's crap and you know it! Admit it, if this was such great advice, you'd be following it yourself!"

Miroku glared at him. "Well, I am attempting to!" he said in irritation, "It's simply difficult when one has an inherited philogyny and Sango is so… so…" his hands came out as though he were grabbing something.

"Yeah, I know." When Miroku's eyebrow shot up, Inuyasha backtracked, "Not about Sango! Kagome! Kagome is really… It's really hard not to… Well, you know what I mean, right?" he asked impatiently.

"Unfortunately, yes." Miroku sighed. "Welcome to the world of man's weakness in the face of women, Inuyasha."

"Welcome, my ass. This sucks. Now that I've started to think about it, I can't stop! How the hell is this supposed to work! How do I-" he lowered his voice, "Miroku, I need some help here. Do you know how I could, you know.."

"Seduce?" Miroku provided wryly.

"Um, yeah, that…with Kagome?" he waited impatiently for the answer.

Miroku was unusually serious. "Honestly? I'm not sure. It might be better to work on some of your other difficulties with her first."

"We'll be working on those, too, but I want to start on this _now._"

"Well, a lot of it is simply paying attention." When Inuyasha snorted, he went on quickly. "I'm quite serious. Find out what she likes, what feels good to her, what makes her emotional or excited. It's not the same for every woman. You have to remember, most women find importance in much more than physical touching."

"Huh?"

"For example, if you had been alone, or in some place Kagome finds very beautiful, she might have reacted completely differently to your, ahem, wooing."

"Really? So, I gotta be watching her, and watching what's around her, and watching what she thinks about it all?"

"That's one manner of putting it."

"But that's impossible! I don't even know what she's thinking _now,_ how am I supposed to think up things to do _and_ try to figure out what she's thinking!" he kicked the ground viciously. "This is hopeless." He glared at the dirt on his toes for a moment before looking back up at Miroku. "You're just shittin' me, aren't you? 'Cause I've watched you with Sango, and I sure as hell don't see _you_ figuring out what she likes, or you'd get slapped a lot less often."

Miroku shrugged. "I'll admit, I tend to react more impulsively around Sango than other women, but truly…one of the reasons I found her so fascinating in the first place is because I can't figure out what she's thinking. It's very…arousing to be near someone who keeps you on your toes." He sighed, "It just makes it much more difficult when it comes to romance."

"You mean sex." Inuyasha corrected.

"You can be so crude, "Miroku said, rolling his eyes. When Inuyasha continued to look at him, he blew out a breath, "All right, yes, that as well."

"That's what I thought. So, pretty much, you can't even do what you're telling me I should do."

"You could look at it that way."

"It _is_ that way, you dummy. So that leaves us…where? Completely celibate for the rest of our fucking lives?"

Miroku looked at him again. "It simply means that…things may take a little while before we can work them out. I have faith that you and Kagome will do well together, Inuyasha…"

"Wish I did." Inuyasha muttered.

"…and as for Sango and I, well, it is amazing what someone can accomplish with enough motivation, really. And I've been feeling _quite_ motivated of late. Everyone believing you to be a timid, mouse of a man who's afraid of his own wife can be surprisingly inspirational. Honestly, the way I feel right now, I believe my wife and I have a good chance at making this work."

"You and Kagome both. You should hear how she goes on about you two getting together. It's annoying."

Miroku looked speculatively towards the trees. "Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that. Maybe she'd be willing to help me-"

"Hell, who knows. You better be the one to ask her, though. Right now, I think anything I ask is going to get cut down immediately."

Miroku reached over to pat him on the back. "Don't worry, anger over _that_ type of thing usually takes, oh, about an hour to go away. Then it's done." At Inuyasha's stare, he pointed to his own face, "At the very least, _this_ I have experience with. Two hours, at the most."

Inuyasha sighed. "I'll remember that." He said, rubbing his face, and grimacing as his hand came into contact with the gummy mess there. "Bleh. I'm gonna go wash this crap off. Wait for me, eh?"

Miroku nodded absently to Inuyasha's back, already trying to figure out what to do when Sango and Kagome worked up the courage to return to camp.


	17. Ch 17 Let the Games Begin

Disclaimer: we're all aware I don't make any money off of this, own the idea, the rights to the manga, or the rights to the anime of inuyasha. Although I do own one of the soundtracks...it's great for writing to:-)

**A/N Kinda like the energizer bunny, this story just keeps going, and going, and going, heh. Miroku and Sango chappie, basically. **

**Chapter 17 – Let the Games Begin**

Sango tensed as she heard a rustling coming from the direction of the camp. She hadn't figured out what to do yet! If Miroku came now… Kagome's bright red face peered out from behind a large shrub and Sango sagged in relief.

"I thought you were Miroku-sama!"

After a moment of surprise, Kagome smiled in spite of her cooling blushes and slipped all the way into the little thicket. "About to come and give him a hug?"

"Kagome!"

"Just wondering. It looked like you were enjoying things a few minutes ago when I interrupted." Sango narrowed her eyes as Kagome asked archly. "Would you rather I left you two _alone_ next time?"

"That's not something to joke about." Sango said, kicking a nearby tree morosely. "You didn't see how it happened! I tried to show him how little he affected me, and it completely backfired, Kagome! That stupid houshi surprised me and I melted like butter! A veteran taijiya should _not_ have so little control over her own body!"

Kagome's eyes softened in sympathy as she looked at her friend. Poor Sango. "Everyone has moments when they're not at their best, Sango."

"I don't."

"Sango-chan," Kagome said, "you can't be on your guard every moment of the day…"

"I can try."

"Sango-chan…" Kagome chided.

"Then what am I going to do! You saw what happened when he caught me off my guard: I was utterly useless! I have to keep him away from me, but if I don't smack that man when he touches me, I _can't_ keep him away." She paused, and then added in a moment of honesty, "Actually, it only took him a few moments and I didn't even _want_ to keep him away."

"Good kisser, huh?'

Sango involuntarily touched her lips. "You can't imagine."

"I think I might have an idea." Kagome said, flushing slightly. "If you feel too vulnerable when he gets close, though, I don't understand what's the difficulty in physically stopping Miroku."

"He's too perceptive! I can't keep slapping that stupid, smug, baby-faced houshi every time he gets close or he'll figure it out! If he feels like I'm overreacting to something he's…entitled to…now, you know he'll go looking for the reason why!"

"Ignoring my opinion on the complete barbarism of that 'entitled to' statement, who says you have to slap him?" At Sango's look of complete incomprehension, Kagome sighed. "I love you like a sister, Sango, but you can be awfully 'all or nothing' sometimes, you know that? If he's coming on too strong, you could simply push his hand away, or give him a shove, or just tell him 'no' and walk away." As Sango stared at Kagome with her mouth open, Kagome muttered, "Or aren't women in the Feudal Era allowed to do that, either?"

"Ah, it's…it depends on the husband, I guess…" Sango trailed off.

"Look," Kagome said impatiently, "if _you_ never thought of doing it, then it's certainly not going to reveal much about your inner desires, is it? But you would still be keeping him away, at least. And honestly, you've got to do something soon or you'll be in trouble. What good will it be to keep him in the dark about your emotions if he still gets your body in the process?" She asked. "Although honestly, I doubt Miroku believes that he's got any rights where your body is concerned. He just doesn't seem the type."

"You might be surprised." Sango mumbled, mulling it over. She was pretty sure that Miroku was going to want a lot more 'rights' than she was willing to give. Telling him no without violence might not be what Miroku expected from her, but it also wasn't something that gave clues as big as signposts, revealing her motives and her innermost feelings. It just might work.

Watching her friend, Kagome was simply glad Sango was so preoccupied that she hadn't noticed Kagome's agitation. She needed some time to figure out what to do about Inuyasha's amorous endeavors, and somehow she didn't think Sango would be the best person to give advice on that particular topic. Before she could think about it further, however, they both heard Shippou calling for them. Sango looked resigned as she turned towards the noise, while Kagome simply tried to come to terms with seeing Inuyasha again. Embarrassment aside, they both thought, they should be getting back.

"Wish me good luck." Sango whispered to her as Shippou bobbed ahead of them, leading the way back. Kagome gave her a grin and a big thumbs up. When they got back to camp, however, all the women and Inuyasha were able to do was look at each other awkwardly. Miroku merely smiled to himself and silently kept an eye on Sango's every move.

Kagome watched Inuyasha, with his newly scrubbed face and disgruntled expression, and felt her cheeks heating anew. She still couldn't believe he'd done that_. Then again_, she thought, _considering how close he and Miroku have become, maybe I shouldn't be so surprised_. It's not as though he ever had anyone _else_ to talk to about women. The thought that Inuyasha was probably as inexperienced as she was crossed her mind, and she found a surprising amount of comfort at the idea.

Inuyasha finally snorted. "Feh, this is stupid. Look, that last village, Miroku heard about a really strong demon that's bothering people north of here. Are we gonna go check it out or what?" His ears twitched as he waited for the answer and Kagome felt her tension drain completely away at his familiar impatience. Inuyasha, immature and irritable as usual. She walked over.

"I'd appreciate a ride." She said softly, reaching out to finger his damp hair. His eyes widened a moment at the gesture before he smiled broadly. He handed her the well-used yellow backpack and her weapon and offered her his back.

"All right then! Let's get going!"

Sango quickly climbed onto Kirara, giving Shippou a lift up. Miroku headed towards them only to stop as Sango glared at him, altering her expression to a rather neutral smile with obvious difficulty. He glared back a moment, took a deep breath, and then walked towards them anyway.

_She's the one who is abandoning this marriage before it starts, _he reminded himself, trying to keep his anger from flagging. _… and I will _not_ be afraid of my own wife!_

_Although a little fear can be a healthy thing,_ he amended quickly, watching her caress her hiraikotsu as he climbed on and they took off after Inuyasha.

xxxxx

They stopped briefly for lunch, Sango taking refuge by Kagome's side while Miroku sat quietly in between Inuyasha and Shippou, watching her with dark, shadowed eyes throughout the entire meal. She could _feel_ him looking at her whenever she looked down at her food, but if she actually looked up she couldn't seem to keep from staring back. How was it that a _man_ was given such beautiful eyes, she thought irritably. The Fates were so unkind. He smiled, winking at her as he caught her staring, and she flushed and looked back to her food. Stupid, conceited ass, she thought, gripping her chopsticks so tightly they almost broke.

When they set out again, Sango had hopes that they might be able to find accommodations for the night. Gods, what she wouldn't give for something soft to sleep on! And a wall between her and her hentai husband. Although, come to think of it, if there _were_ walls, he might be able to use that to get her alone somewhere. Hmmmm, she might have to think about this.

By the time they were forced to make camp out in the open again, Sango decided that outdoors and public was probably better when it came to dealing with certain lecherous companions, anyway. How much trouble could Miroku really cause, exposed and in front of everyone? It was safer that they weren't at a village, she told herself. All the same, she could still whine a little.

"What I wouldn't give for a bath." Sango said, dismounting from Kirara and grimacing at the sticky, sweaty feeling brought on by a day's worth of travel. She arched her back, pushing on it with her palms to try and massage the knots out. Miroku, in the midst of dismounting as well, saw her arch, saw her breasts thrust out with the motion, and promptly lost his balance, falling the rest of the way down.

Seeing Sango's half-smile as he picked himself up, he muttered under his breath. "I believe she did that on purpose." He swore as she turned and sashayed away from him. All the Gods should be proud in the part they played to create that ass, was all he could think, watching her hips swaying gently as she walked.

Sango made it over to where Kagome had already started unpacking, offering to help. Anything to keep her from having to interact with Miroku for a while. If she had to stay near him one more moment, she didn't know what she was going to do. She already felt as jittery as water on a frying pan after riding all day with him behind her, the stupid lecher. Her back twitched involuntarily just thinking about it.

Fortunately for Sango, Miroku dragged Inuyasha off almost immediately on the pretext of gathering firewood..again. He shooed Shippou back towards the women when he tried to follow.

"Take more notes." He ordered him.

"Oh, that's just great. You threaten me and now you really _are_ asking me to spy on them?" the little fox asked incredulously.

"Yes. Life is often cruel and incomprehensible that way…rather like women." Miroku put his face up close to Shippou's, "Take. Notes."

"Jeesh, you don't have to get so angry about it! I'm going already." Shippou started muttering under his breath to himself as he headed back to the food. "Hmmph, maybe I'll just eat all your food before you get back, how would you like that."

"I heard that, brat!" Inuyasha called out as he walked out of the small copse of trees where they were camped. Shippou squeaked and scampered the rest of the way to Kagome.

Miroku started talking as soon as they were out of earshot from the women. "Did you see what Sango did?"

"You mean the arching her back and…" he stopped. "Uh no, I didn't see a thing."

"Very smooth recovery." Miroku mocked gently, "But either way, I was referring to earlier today."

"At lunch?"

"No, on Kirara, before we landed."

Lowering his eyelids, Inuyasha looked at the monk, "No, somehow I seemed to miss it while you were both up in the fucking sky! Jeez, what type of dumb question is that!"

Miroku stared for a moment before shaking his head. "You're right, that was a ridiculous question. The woman is making me crazy." He stood staring at his hands until Inuyasha grew impatient and smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

"What the hell are you waiting for! Don't start something like that and then stop there! What did Sango do?"

Miroku rubbed his arm ruefully.

"She didn't slap me." Miroku said finally.

"Uh…huh?" This was bad somehow?

"She didn't slap me. I had the perfect opportunity for my palm to slide over and…" he paused, his eyes dilating slightly at the memory.

"Grab her ass?"

"-Caress my wife." He corrected, " and she didn't slap me."

Inuyasha's mouth dropped. "Really? You did it _again_? Damn, on Kirara's back no less. That's fucking impressive. Although, wasn't Shippou…"

"No, I did not successfully start seducing Sango again." Miroku said, exasperated. "But as soon as I touched her, she – she simply pushed my hand away and told me 'maybe later.' Maybe later!" He pushed his hand through his hair in frustration, accidentally undoing his queue.

Inuyasha scratched his head at Miroku's obvious upset. "Um…how…uh, awful?"

Miroku started pacing. "What does she mean by that? If Shippou's telling the truth, then she's lying because she has no intention of there ever _being_ a later. But if Shippou's lying, then maybe she actually wants..." He halted, staring back towards the camp.

"Shippou wasn't lying. I figured the little squirt might try to fuck with us, so I was checkin' his scent real well the entire time. He was pissed, but honest."

"Well, there's one daydream put to rest," muttered Miroku, "But then that must mean that she's lying! What does she think she's doing?"

"She doesn't have to be lying, does she? Maybe she _was_ going to divorce you but uh, that kiss was enough to change her mind? She just needs some time to get used to everything?" Inuyasha attempted, his head aching a little with the effort of trying to make up something feasible.

"In my adolescent fantasies, perhaps, but not in truth. Although, " he paused, calming slightly as he considered this, "you may be on to something."

"Really?" Inuyasha blurted, then hmmphed. "I mean, yeah, of course I am."

"_Something_ has changed, beyond our being married. If it weren't for the fact that she enjoyed our encounter this morning, I would think she's become completely indifferent to my attentions. However, if that's not the case… What is she up to? Why is she choosing to circumvent me in such a mild manner?" He started pacing again, thinking hard. "In fact, why hasn't she already told me she's planning to get a divorce in the first place? This isn't like her at all…"

"Yeah, Sango would usually just have smacked you around and told you to stay the hell away until she divorced your sorry houshi ass." Inuyasha said casually.

"Then if Sango _is_ planning to leave me, why hasn't she told me? I know she's leaving me, but she doesn't know I know she's leaving me. Unless Shippou told them everything and I simply don't know that she knows that I know…"

"…she's leaving you. Yeah, I get the point. So…what?"

"I don't know. I have no idea what is going on in that beautiful head of hers." he stroked his chin, starting to grin as he turned to Inuyasha. "I cannot figure out what convoluted path her mind has been going down. I would be willing to bet that she's trying to hide something, but…well, what it could be?" He shrugged, grinning broader. "This is going to be quite enjoyable. I absolutely _love_ trying to figure out that woman."

_Did that make any sense to you?_

Not particularly, replied Inuyasha's conscience, then again, I can't figure out why he'd pick Sango over Kagome in the first place.

_Me neither._

Inuyasha came back to the real world as Miroku started talking again.

"Well, I suppose I better be heading back now…"

"Oh, don't even try weaseling out of this, Miroku" he said, yanking on Miroku's arm. "You're the one who dragged me away from Kagome in the first place, you stupid Houshi, you can help me get the damn wood."

Miroku sighed to himself. It had been worth a try, at any rate. He started looking around for some drier deadwood along with Inuyasha.

"By the way, " interrupted Inuyasha, "this shit has got to stop."

"Trying to trick you into gathering all the wood?" Miroku asked.

"No! You and me doing crap together all the time. Houshi, since I've been married, I've spent more time with _you_ than I have with Kagome! I want to have some time to be with my damn wife!"

"On the subject of spending more time with our wives, we're in complete agreement."

"Oh." Inuyasha abruptly ran out of steam, "All right then. Just so we're clear."

Oh, very forceful, his conscience sniped.

_Shut up_

The very image of masculine power.

_Shut up or I won't even try to touch Kagome tonight._

Now that's just cruel, Inuyasha.

_You're still talking!_

Fine, I'll shut up! As long as you come through and really _do_ something.

_I'm thinking about it, okay?_

Trying to get out of it already?

_No! I'm just…I'm just thinking of how to go about things properly, that's all._

Well, don't use up all your energy…we'll want some of that later.

As soon as they brought back the wood and had a fire going, Miroku excused himself to take Shippou to 'go use the bushes.' He came back feeling both disgruntled and vindicated, his hair tucked slickly back into it's regular queue after Shippou had laughed at it's tousled appearance.

Shippou had actually done his job and taken notes, but the girls had not been very forthcoming in front of him. Of course, they continually forgot that he could hear them from fairly far away, so he got in a few bits of eavesdropping. And found out, essentially, nothing. Yes, Sango seemed to be hiding something, but she'd said nothing other than trying to make sure Miroku didn't 'find out,' and that if she slapped him, he was likely to. Which made no sense at all.

Of course, he should give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she knew what she was talking about, he supposed. After all, he had more than a few ideas that he was _quite _willing to try to earn himself a slap in the face.

He was _not_ going to be afraid of his own wife, dammit!!

He managed to whisper to Inuyasha that Shippou hadn't heard anything of interest from Kagome, just before the baked fish and wild greens were ready. He watched as Inuyasha walked over to Kagome and sat down next to her gingerly. When she simply glanced at him and smiled, the hanyou relaxed and proceeded to inhale his food.

The entire time, however, Miroku never lost track of Sango, who retrieved her food last. She was walking by him, obviously intent on getting to the far side of Inuyasha and Kagome, when he reached up and snagged her hand. Looking down at him in surprise, her entire body tensed.

"Come sit down here, Sango." He said, tugging on her hand. He saw her bite her lip and try to gently extricate her hand. He held on tight.

"I was hoping to talk with Kagome…"

"Well, unless your voice has failed you, I don't believe we're so far away that you would be prevented." Miroku said with a bit of laughter in his voice. She paused, stymied a moment.

_If I fight him, then I won't have to be near him. I really don't want to be near him right now! But, if I don't want to be near him…then maybe I don't want to let him know that? Should I just sit down? Maybe I can just sit here a few minutes, so he won't realize how much his nearness bothers me, and then I can get up on some pretext and go sit back by Shippou like I wanted, _she thought_. A minute or two won't do any harm, right? Okay, that might work_. She acquiesced.

"All right." She tugged on her hand again slightly, but when he still wouldn't release it, she sighed. Leaning over and putting her bowl down, she started to sit when Miroku suddenly jerked on her arm, making her fall into his lap. He let go of her hand to whip his arm around her waist and pull her back up against his chest. Before she could even recover from the surprise of it, she felt him leaning forward against her back until she could see his face out of the corner of her eye.

"Why Sango, I've never known you to be so clumsy, is everything all right?" he asked softly into her ear.

She twitched. That stupid…"You know very well you did it on purpose!" she ground out, pushing at his arm around her waist. She raised an elbow to get him right in the solar plexus, then paused. _He's not groping me. Why isn't he groping me? Is this a test?_ _What if he's doing this just to see how I react? What should I do? I can't let him know how much this bothers me! _She tried another tack.

"Just…uh…thank you for catching me. I'm fine now, though, so you can let go." She pushed at his arm again sharply, but with little affect.

"I can, hmmmm?" His arm across her stomach didn't move, but his other hand came up to gently brush her hair away from the back of her neck, the mala beads cold and smooth in contrast to the heat of his hands. She squirmed against him and he hardened instantly. Her eyes widening at the hard protrusion pressing against her bottom, she tried to scoot to the side to avoid it. Somehow, it ended up making whatever was under her grow even larger and more prominent and Miroku tightened his grip around her waist for a moment, keeping her still. About to demand that he let her go once again, she faltered and a hot shiver ran down her spine as she felt something soft, warm and moist running gently along the outside edge of her ear.

"Are you licking me?" she managed to squeak out.

"Would I do that?" he asked innocently, reaching down to slide his hand along the side of her thigh where they rested on his own, his fingers making small patterns of fire as they went. He bent his head lower and kissed the side of her neck, swirling his tongue in slow, small circles. When she stiffened, he tightened his arm around her waist again, holding her pressed against that hard length underneath her, as he continued drawing circles with his tongue against her neck and the side of her collarbone. He moved up to just behind her ear, making slick rounds over and over, and she finally sucked in her breath, her head lolling back so he had better access. Smiling against her skin, he sucked, hard and sudden, making her whimper, and then kissed the small oval of reddened skin. He couldn't resist and placed another 'love bite' along her neck as she whimpered again.

He spread his fingers along her thigh, encircling it's appealing round strength just above her kimono-clad knee and caressing up its length. Sometimes he forgot just how small she was, he thought, noticing how much of her leg his hand could encompass. He stopped as his thumb reached the soft indentation where her thigh connected, rubbing back and forth along the sensitive shallow valley through her clothing. Swallowing slightly, he imagined how soft her actual skin must be underneath it and thrust against her slightly at the thought.

Sango thought she was going to melt into the ground. She needed to push him away. She needed to push him away. The mantra ran through her head even as she felt him kissing her neck, as her head leaned against him so she could experience more of that sinful, amazing mouth. Dear Gods above, this felt so good! The little pain from his odd kiss on her neck, the friction and warmth along her thigh, the soft touch of his thumb that seemed to be making her pulse deep inside each time it moved back and forth, the small, hard pressure that pressed intimately against her bottom, they swirled around her in a storm of sensations that made it almost impossible to do anything but simply feel… As if that weren't enough, she felt the arm at her waist loosen and his hand slid up along the side of her body to gently caress the side of her breast before palming it completely with gentle pressure. Her nipples tingled almost painfully at the contact. Miroku's fingers rubbed back and forth over the tip of her breast as he toyed with it, matching the rhythm of his hand against her thigh, and she shivered as the feeling seemed to shoot straight down her stomach to hover between her legs, waiting. She bit her lip, holding back a moan.

Eyes narrowing at the sound, Miroku reluctantly drew his arm slowly back from around her breast. Not that he wasn't immensely gratified by Sango's reaction…sooooo gratified, he thought, barely resisting the urge to take her off to find some privacy and see how far they could take this. But…

He glanced over at Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippou. All three were staring at him and Sango with identical expressions of shock, Inuyasha's hand even hovering with a piece of fish half-way to his mouth. Miroku tried to smile benignly, shifting slightly underneath his wife, controlling his heavy breathing with an effort. A true smile swept his face as he felt Sango leaning back against his chest, so far making no effort to get up.

"Sango?" he murmured quietly.

_I need to push him away. I need to push him away._

"Sango." He murmured again.

_I need to… _"Wha-?" her eyes opened from their half-mast position and she started to sit up. "What…"

"I let go."

She looked down at her waist, realized his arm was nowhere to be seen, and flushed scarlet. Scrambling, she practically threw herself off his lap, looking back at him for a moment with huge, frightened eyes. She stumbled to her feet, about to run away, and then stopped.

"Forget something?" Miroku asked, holding up her food. She turned around and grabbed it from him, managing to completely avoid his eyes as she walked stiff-legged as far from him as she could get: the other side of Shippou. Hunching her shoulders, she ate quietly, staring at the ground.

He watched her, considering. Physically, at least, he could make her happy: it hadn't simply been a fluke that first time. That was good to know. It looked like he could make sure they dealt with that whole 'barren' issue pretty easily as well. Also good to know. He was slightly disappointed that he hadn't been able to make her lose control and actually slap him, but as things stood, he could tolerate trying again…

…and again, and again…

Why had she looked so frightened all of sudden, though? Was it related to whatever secret she was keeping from him? And what was he going to have to do to find out?

He could hardly wait…

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Inuyasha finally realized his fish was getting cold in his fingertips and shoved it into his dry mouth to gulp down quickly.

I will say it again, said his conscience, Damn! That man has skills.

_Yeah._

REALLY gotta get some lessons.

_Yeah._

You're thinking of doing that to Kagome right now, aren't you, you hentai?

_Oh, hell yeah._

Good, just wanted to make sure we were headed in the right direction.

He heard Kagome mutter, "I guess she _does_ need to smack that man to keep him away from her." And barely managed to choke down a laugh.


	18. Ch 18 Hentai Hanyou

Disclaimer: don't own the characters of inuyasha, make money off of the series, etc…

**A/N Okay, so my secret's out. I _love_ writing lemons and limes for Miroku. He's just such a perv, heh. I'm really, really trying to keep the citrus in character, so I'd love to see if you think I succeeded. Hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm not gonna say whether it's lemons or limes, though, 'cause that would be telling, and where's the fun in that?**

**Chapter 18 – Hentai Hanyou**

Sango closed her eyes, castigating herself as she tried to ignore everyone around her. _Idiot. You should have known you couldn't pull this off. It was a stupid idea in the first place. Instead of making sure Miroku didn't discover your feelings, you almost ended up on your back! What type of idiocy was that? Now, not only are you married to him, but he knows he can get to you! It's a disaster! _She opened her eyes to see Miroku staring at her. He smiled slowly and she flushed and looked back down at her food, frowning.

_Well, that's it. Forget this plan and- and forget how well he kisses!_ She told herself forcefully as her pulse refused to slow down after that sensual little smirk of his. _Knocking that smug houshi out can't possibly make things worse than they already are._ She thought, and nodded to herself resolutely.

Now that the show was over, Shippou was happily munching on the rest of his food. As always, Miroku watched Sango. Inuyasha's gaze skipped from person to person, trying to figure out a way to make them go the hell away. He hadn't been too worried about achieving some time alone with Kagome tonight until _after_ Miroku's little stunt. Watching Sango as she tried to disappear into the ground after that, though, brought one painful realization to the forefront of his thoughts. If Sango was too nervous to be around Miroku, then who did that leave?

He and Kagome.

And from Kagome's sympathetic glances at Sango, he was pretty sure Kagome was going to offer to sleep near her tonight as protection. He could _not_ let that happen. No offense to Miroku, but if he had to beat that man into a coma so that Sango felt comfortable enough to sleep, preferably as far from he and Kagome as possible, then he'd do it.

Kagome tucked a piece of hair behind her ear absently as she ate, and as the movement caught his gaze, he couldn't look away. Her skin is so pale, he thought, eyeing the vulnerable flesh at the side of her throat. Miroku's recent actions popped into his brain again and he imagined repeating that scene with the soft neck in front of him. His cheeks burned. Images came in quick succession. Pulling her onto his lap and plunging his tongue into her mouth until her eyes glazed over, running his hands over her body, up underneath that wonderful, tiny little skirt and holding her lush bottom in his hands as he pulled her so close he could feel every part of her, peeling off her top and ripping off that stupid little scrap of fabric so he could taste her breasts all over, and plunging into the warm, slick heat of her that was driving him CRAZY with its scent. Gods he wanted Kagome. He wanted her soft and sweet smelling and naked and NOW, dammit! He whimpered under his breath and shifted uncomfortably as a lower part of his anatomy saluted its enthusiastic endorsement of his plans.

His hands were fisted as he tried to control the urge to simply take her and run somewhere. Or just take her. _Why the fuck doesn't everyone leave!_ He thought frantically.

Kagome looked over at him then and smiled. He was so relieved to actually have something to concentrate on _other _than what he wanted to do to her that he smiled back.

She watched him a moment, then reached over and put her hand on top of his fist. After a moment, she felt it relax and open as he gently held her hand, looking down shyly.

_Concentrate on the hand, _he thought desperately,_ not the legs, or the breasts, or the bottom, or…shit. This isn't working at all. This NEVER works._

Kagome tried not to giggle. He was so cute when he was nervous! She could tell he was relieved she'd made the first overtures. _I wonder if he even knows what to do?_ She thought to herself, _it's not like they have sex ed here in the feudal era._ She might have to help him figure this out.

She'd had all day to think about it. Her marriage, her life, her future. There wasn't exactly a lot else to do while you rode on the back of a half-demon. She wasn't certain if he loved her, but he definitely cared about her and her welfare, and that was a start, at least. In the end, it didn't affect her decision. She already knew she loved him, and she was still going to try and make this work. She wanted to do that for him, and maybe for herself as well, if she were honest.

It was odd…she was starting to think of herself as a _wife_, which was still a bit startling to contemplate, really. Once she'd started thinking that way, of course, she couldn't help but think about what Inuyasha might be like as a _husband._ The images running through her head made her realize fairly quickly that she was going to have to make sure he understood that her acceptance of the marriage didn't mean he was always going to get his own way. He gave quite enough orders _before_ they got married. Who knew what heights of bossiness he might try to achieve as a husband? And of course, there was one last thing, the corollary she'd almost forgotten until Miroku's little exhibition: if she accepted this marriage then that meant that there were certain realities that needed to be faced.

Sex. And babies.

She was fairly sure it wouldn't happen right away. Just thinking about Inuyasha's reaction when she'd tried to change his clothes in the future made her want to chuckle. Being that modest, it would probably take them a while before they got around to the physical part of their relationship. Honestly, she suspected most of his actions in the sex department were a case of trying to imitate Miroku rather than any actual…desires…on his part. It was just a feeling she had, but she was pretty intuitive that way. That was all right. They'd work it out together, she decided, blushing slightly. He just might need a little extra help.

And babies? She wasn't really sure she was ready for that yet, but then again… Many of the women she met in this era, the women she was spending the most time with for over a year now, were married at her age. The idea of having an infant before too long didn't feel as odd as it would have before she'd met Inuyasha. Actually, thinking about a tiny version of Inuyasha made her feel rather warm and tingly. He must have been a little hellion before he lost his mother, she thought fondly.

She squeezed his hand shyly, encouraging. _Don't worry, Inuyasha, I'll help you figure this out_.

Inuyasha's senses went into overdrive at the small signals of encouragement Kagome was sending his way.

Don't do it, Inuyasha. His conscience warned.

_But she's so close! I could have her away from everyone in less than 2 minutes! All I need to do is…_

Don't do it! It's not time yet! You'll scare her away and ruin it all, baka!

_But look at her! She's smiling and touching me and her hand is…_

Focus! You're noticing the hand? Look, see how tiny it is? Kagome isn't some tough demon or hanyou, Inuyasha, she's human, and a pretty dainty one, at that. You need to keep it under control and _be gentle!_ You don't want to hurt her, do you?

_I'd never hurt her, you asshole!_

Well, when things are getting hot and heavy? Think about her hand and make sure you don't, eh? By the way, when the time comes, I vote for putting the hands right up her skirt and…

_I'll decide how to make love to Kagome on my own without your help!_

I'm just saying…

When everyone had finished eating, which took too damn long, in Inuyasha's opinion, Miroku stood up and nonchalantly walked over to Sango. Inuyasha watched them, not sure whether he wanted to cheer Miroku on or tell him to leave her the hell alone.

Whichever one gets Sango to leave, said his conscience.

_That's kinda cold, isn't it?_

Hey, I'm a pragmatist, what can I say.

Inuyasha cocked an ear as he eavesdropped shamelessly. Anything to take his mind off Kagome. And how she good she smells. And how soft she feels. And…no, pay attention to Miroku!

Miroku sat down next to Sango and she stiffened up like a fire poker.

"Don't even think about touching me, Hentai." She said aggressively, trying to compensate for her recent lack of spunk.

"I wouldn't dream of it." He said calmly. And he wouldn't…not yet, anyway. "I was simply coming over to inquire about your sleeping arrangements tonight."

Huffing, she rattled off her answer quickly, "I'm sleeping right here next to Kagome. All night. With Shippou on the other side of me."

Miroku sighed, rather dramatically Inuyasha thought. " I was afraid you'd say something like that."

"Why, you were hoping to get me by yourself?" she asked angrily…hopefully? Inuyasha rubbed his nose with his free hand at the odd combination of smells coming from her.

"My wishes, whatever they may be, don't apply here. It's Kagome and Inuyasha that you should be considering."

"Excuse me?" Sango said blankly

"Regardless of what issues lie between you and I, is it fair to stay here and interfere with what Inuyasha and Kagome have?" he murmured quietly. Sango looked over at the other couple and noted their entwined hands. She hadn't thought…

She stared a moment, her shoulders slumping momentarily, "I can't stay here with them, can I?" she murmured to herself.

Miroku smiled as Sango nodded decisively. _That's right, Sango, go off on your own tonight to give your friends some privacy. _His smile faded as Sango reached over and snagged Shippou by the tail.

"Good night, Inuyasha, Kagome. Shippou and I are feeling rather warm, so we're just going to get some rest farther from the fire." She called out, surprising Kagome completely. She started walking away, dragging Shippou in her wake. When Miroku walked up next to her, she glared at him. "Don't come near me, Houshi. I mean it. If I find you anywhere near me tonight I won't be held responsible."

"Why, Sango, whatever happened to 'maybe later?" Miroku asked lightly as they drew farther from the still seated couple, "Are you saying you no longer wish to consummate our marriage? I'm deeply wounded."

"I never said I wished to consummate our marriage at all, you hentai!" Sango hissed, giving him a one handed shove that knocked him back a few steps. Shippou watched with wide eyes, trying to stay as small and unnoticed as possible within Sango's grip.

"I rather thought your actions spoke louder than words." He said softly as he caught up to her again, watching her blush.

"I- it was…it doesn't matter! Just stay away from me, Houshi-sama!" She said fiercely, and he nodded, stopping and watching them camp down at the tree line before he turned and found a place to rest equally far from Inuyasha and Kagome. Kirara joined him and he lay down, petting her soft fur as he watched Sango turn her back on him to bed down for the night.

"We'll just have to make a slight change in plans, Kirara." He said, and started thinking.

Inuyasha, meanwhile, was internally cheering Miroku on. _If I weren't a man, I'd kiss you for this, you wonderful son of a bitch!_

While Kagome banked the fire, he took off his red suikan and laid it on the ground. He smoothed it out a moment, and then looked up to see Kagome watching him carefully.

"I just thought-" he started to say, when she smiled at him. She was awfully happy tonight…

"It's a lovely idea, Inuyasha." She said, sitting down on the red cloth. She gestured for him to join her. Radiating tension, he sat at the very edge of the red robe. She glanced sideways at him a moment, caught him staring. _He's probably wondering what to do now, _she thought. She scooted over slightly until their sides touched, leaning her head on his shoulder. His entire body stiffened. _Poor thing, he's so embarrassed by this._ "It's all right, Inuyasha. We're married now."

Inuyasha's body sang at the words. It's all right? She's _fine_ with this?! He didn't have to cajole or persuade or try to figure out how to proceed here without scaring her off or… she was FINE with it! His head turned towards her slowly, golden eyes lambent in the growing dark. He could see her head against his shoulders, the dark hair glistening. Her eyes were closed and as she leaned on him, her face tilted up so that it shone in the moonlight.

He took a moment to simply enjoy the sight of her face. Sometimes he still couldn't get over how beautiful she was, and that was before you even started looking at her body. She was just so…wonderful. He had to take a few deep breaths as the reality of actually being able to touch her within moments sank in. He really didn't want to screw this up. Taking one last fortifying breath, he slowly put his closest arm around her shoulders. Feeling her relax against him, he smiled, that last niggling doubt that maybe he'd completely misread her scent and her body language fading. He reached across his body to scoop up her legs and settle her across his lap.

"Inu-" she managed to say, surprised, just before his arm slid up from her shoulders to curl gently around the back of her head and he leaned down to kiss her. Her lips were soft and sweet under his, and after a moment's resistance, they opened as his tongue probed tentatively. This was…it was just heavenly. She tasted like she smelled: spice and jasmine and soooo sexy. Her moist heat surrounded him as he deepened the kiss, coaxing her tongue with his own until she thrust it against him and he sucked on it. Her arms went around his neck, fisting in his hair, and he pulled her in closer, hearing her moan. He snarled when her sideways position across his lap prevented closer contact.

Pulling away for a moment, he grabbed her waist. "Move your legs" he ordered hoarsely. She looked up at him with glazed eyes and he couldn't help but grin. Kissing, lap, glazed eyes…there was one fantasy taken care of. He kissed her again softly simply because he could. "Move your legs." He said again, and saw her eyes start to focus.

"Wait, what…" she looked up at him, and her mouth was obviously thinking of other words when he took matters into his own hands. Muttering impatiently, he stood up. He kept a gentle grip around her waist and let her legs hang free for a moment before he knelt back down, this time feeling her body completely flush with his own as she straddled him. He spread his legs so that hers opened wide around him with a leg hanging freely on either side.

"Inuyasha!" she said urgently, her hands sliding down to grab the front of his white kimono.

"I know, Kagome." He murmured, growling low as he nipped the side of her neck. He slid one arm up again to cradle her back and held her soft mane of hair in his hand, scraping his fangs against her soft skin as he kissed and nibbled up her neck. He slid the other arm from her waist and carefully moved his hand down her thigh until he reached the hem of her skirt. He paused a moment as he touched bare skin, and then closed his eyes to savor the smooth feel of her satiny skin as he slowly slipped his hand under her skirt and started to slide his hand up the back of her bare thigh. Heat started to pound through his groin as the feel of her, the taste of her. He could feel Kagome quivering against him, her head thrown back as he continued to kiss his way back to her lips, small hands clenched tightly in his clothes as she moaned slightly.

"Inuyasha, I need -"

"Shhhh." He finally made it up to her mouth and kissed her gently on the lips, "I know, I wanna hurry, too. But we need to take it slowly or I'll hurt you, Kagome." His hand continued up her thigh until it snagged on some little piece of fabric underneath her skirt. He grunted, irritated, and flicked his claw, slicing it off. He slid his hand underneath her bottom, reveling at the feel of the soft flesh, pressing his palm against the silky slit in between that was even now leaking sweet smelling moisture against his hand as he held her up. Curling his fingers into the rounded cheeks of her bottom, he sighed deeply "You are so beautiful." He said in awe, squeezing gently, using his palm to pull her pelvis in tight against his own. He shuddered slightly as her body pressed against his hardness. It felt so good…how much better was it going to be when he was actually inside her?? He shuddered again.

Kagome stiffened as she felt the hard pressure pushing between her legs. Inuyasha thrust up against her slightly as he pulled her hips towards him, and Kagome startled as she felt his hand rasping across her slick folds intimately, rubbing slightly with his fingers. She stopped arching back and looked at him, staring at his bent head as she tried to fight the tingling sensation soaring up from his fingers all the way to her breasts.

"Inuyasha, I don't…"

"It's all right, I do. You don't need to worry, Kagome, I know what to do." He mouthed against her neck, licking it slightly.

"But Inuyasha, I'm not sure…" she shuddered, losing her train of thought as he suddenly sucked hard on her neck. He pulled back, and she saw him grin as he looked at the mark he must have left behind. He went back to licking a slow trail up from her throat.

"Inuyasha, I want you…"

"I want you, too." He interrupted, kissing her lips again as he held her head still, worshipping the inside of her mouth with his tongue. The hand under her bottom shifted slightly, and Kagome gasped against his mouth as she felt one slim finger slowly pushing into her slick opening while he continued his small thrusts against her pelvis.

A squeak, muffled by Inuyasha's mouth, escaped her as she started pushing at his chest. He pulled away and blinked at her. "N-no! I want you to stop! STOP!' Kagome finally got out.

"Stop?" he said stupidly.

"Stop!" she was staring at him wildly, her cheeks redder than this robes, her breathing rapid. He couldn't believe he'd heard her right.

"But…stop?" he asked plaintively.

She nodded, and then squirmed, trying to get down. Feeling her moving, inner muscles clenching around his one intrusive finger, his hand clenched involuntarily, digging slightly into her soft skin as it pressed his palm hard against her core and pushed his finger further inside her.

"Inuyasha!" she squealed, and shoved at him frantically. "Let go!"

He started to remove his hand.

Oh HELL no! Yelled his conscience. What the fuck are you doing!

_I'm letting her go! She doesn't want to._

She's delirious! She doesn't know what she's saying! His conscience said desperately. She really wants you to throw her down right now and…

_Just give it up, already._

Son of a bitch, his conscience muttered. I can't believe this shit…

Inuyasha finished moving his hand until it was no longer touching that fantastic warmth, sliding it out from her heat, and then out from under her skirt as he released her. He sat, still stunned, as she moved off of him, then off the suikan completely to sit on the grass, staring at him. He stared back, bereft, worried, frustrated. What the hell happened? Had he hurt her?

"You know exactly what you're doing!" she accused, running a shaky hand through her hair and tucking her skirt self-consciously around her thighs.

He tried to figure out what that meant when so much blood was still missing from his brain. "Uh – thank you?"

"Thank you?! I thought you were all innocent and confused and…I was going to help you figure out what to do! And then you- you- you knew how to do _everything!_" Her hand couldn't seem to stop touching to her lips.

"Huh?" he shook his head to try and clear it a little. She thought I was_ what? _

I take it she doesn't know about that voyeur phase you went through before Kikyou sealed your ass, his conscience said.

_Oh just shut up for a minute, will you? I'm trying to think here._

He stared at her, running her words through his brain a few more times. "So, wait, are you telling me you're upset because I'm _better_ at this than you thought I would be?" he asked incredulously, his blood cooling slightly.

"No! I mean, you are, but…you're not supposed to be!" she wailed.

Inuyasha looked at her, his lips twitching. For the first time in a long time, he felt like _he_ was the one who actually knew what was going on when everyone else was caught by surprise.

"I think…I think I can live with being good at this." He said, grinning a little, and her face flamed. When she stared at his feet silently for a while, he cleared his throat.

"So, you liked it?" he asked carefully.

She nodded infinitesimally.

"You're sure? You didn't want to stop because it…felt bad, or anything?"

Kagome shook her head, looking up at him earnestly as she did so. His nostrils flared as he scented the air, feeling an almost desperate urge confirm what she was saying. When he caught the scent of her arousal, he grinned broadly. Seeing him grin, she blushed again and went back to looking at his feet. She's going to start glowing if she gets any redder, he thought fondly. He noticed the scrap of fabric he'd sliced off laying crumpled on the ground and picked it up. Looking at her for a moment, he contemplated handing it back, but he couldn't imagine what she'd do with it now. Maybe I'll just hang on to it for a while, he thought, tucking it surreptitiously beneath the suikan laid underneath him.

"Do you want to just…lay down together for a while?" he finally asked.

She bit her lip. "Just sleeping?"

"Just lying down and sleeping."

After a minute or two of thought, while Inuyasha waited with surprising patience, she nodded slowly. "All right, that sounds…nice." She swallowed loudly, still blushing fiercely.

"I'm sorry." She said in a small voice. "It was really very…nice. I just wasn't expecting you to, I didn't think you'd want to… not so soon. I-I need a little while to get used to this, that's all. It's not that I wouldn't like to…eventually, but I… Please? Just a little more time." she stuttered to a stop.

Inuyasha couldn't help but continue to smile like a giddy little kid. He'd gone so long without the faintest hope of anyone, ever, caring for him. And now here was this woman, who was not only married to him but was intimating that she planned to stay, and on top of that she _liked_ making love with him. In fact, based on her scent, she _really_ liked making love with him.

_And she thinks I'll object simply because she needs a little extra time?_ he thought. _I can't believe she doesn't realize how little that matters. I mean, it would have been really nice if we'd finished this tonight. Reeaaally nice. Okay, and I'm so hard I may explode soon, and I could use a cold stream like crazy right now, but in the end…_

"Take all the time you need." He said, as he lay on his side.

"Thank you." Kagome whispered, smiling, and came over to lay next to him, her eye slowly closing as she let herself relax. He watched over, periodically reaching out to smooth her hair or run his hand down her arm, until she fell asleep.

At that point, however, he carefully slid one arm under her head and pulled her in closer.

Why you lying dog, his conscience chided.

_I'm lying down and she's sleeping. I didn't lie._

You know very well she wasn't planning to cuddle like this.

_You complaining?_

No, I'm done now. Aside from the shitty ending, that was awesome. Keep up the good work. Although maybe you could think about actually _finishing_ next time?

_I plan to._

XXXXXXXXX

Miroku could just hear murmurs coming from Kagome and Inuyasha's direction as he waited for Sango to fall asleep. When they stopped before reaching any type of crescendo, he sighed to himself. Looks like things didn't go quite as well as they might have, he thought. He was pretty sure his own efforts tonight weren't going to get very far, either…not that he wasn't willing to try. After Inuyasha and Kagome had been quiet for a while, Miroku silently got up and crept over to where Sango and Shippou were snoozing. He carefully scooped up Shippou's small, sleeping body and carried him back to lay gently next to Kirara, who woke and glared at him as he started to leave.

"You know I wouldn't hurt Mistress Sango, Kirara." He said, holding his hands up placatingly. She growled in answer.

Miroku broke out in a cold sweat. He had to admit, he hadn't considered Kirara's feelings towards her mistress in all of his calculations. The possibility of facing a large, angry nekomata youkai was not something he was prepared for. "Peace, Kirara, I'm simply…" Kirara's searing gaze cut through his lie and he stopped. "I love her." He said quietly, "Truly, Kirara, I love her. I won't harm her." Kirara stared at him for another tense moment before nodding briefly and laying her head back down. He turned back to Sango, trying to calm his racing heart.

Well, that wasn't something he wanted to repeat any time in the near future, he thought, wiping the sweat off his brow. He made his way over to Sango on shaky legs and knelt next to her. Her face was soft and child-like as she slept and he simply watched her for a few minutes. Deep down, he admitted that there was always a chance that he'd never get Sango to soften towards him. It was a painful thought, however, and he pushed it down back into the depths. Taking a risk and continuing to pursue Sango was the only way he would ever have a chance at happiness with her, so what other course could he choose? Giving up? As if he'd do that… he'd never been one to let the possibility of pain deter him.

In fact, no one in their party was at all faint hearted, which was why he was so baffled by Sango's recent actions. He'd expected the initial anger at their marriage, he'd been infuriated by her decision to completely abandon him, but following that? She acted as though she were running from something, and that was so unlike her that he couldn't figure it out. Of course, it looked like she wasn't even going to last out a full 24 hours before she was through running and back to her old self, he thought, smiling briefly. Thank the gods. At least he'd have familiar ground to work with again. He was getting tired of seeing her look frightened around him.

He positioned himself at her side carefully, taking a deep breath. He wasn't afraid of his wife, he told himself, but that didn't mean he didn't have a healthy respect for her skills as a fighter. He wasn't going to take any chances this time. Readying himself, he pounced. In the few moments it took for Sango to wake up, Miroku had her pinned down with her hands held above her head as he knelt astride her hips. She looked up at him, her mind still fuzzy from sleep.

"Houshi?" she smiled muzzily. He smiled back at her unexpected reaction and leaned in close.

"It's 'later,' Sango." he said, giving her a soft peck on the cheek.

"Later?" she asked, her brow furrowing for a moment.

"Mmm hmmm. You said 'maybe later.'" He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly for a brief moment, his tongue a slim thief stealing the taste of her as it slipped in and out quickly. Damn, just one taste of her and he was already getting hard. "It's 'later' now." He whispered before he drew his face away.

He could actually see when enlightenment dawned. She looked at him in horror, her head whipping over to where Shippou had lain and finding only empty space. Looking back at up at him, she vainly tried to swing her arms and knock him senseless.

"Having a little trouble?" Miroku teased. He saw her eyes shift from fear to anger almost instantly. Aaaah, that was better.

"What do you think you're doing, Houshi!" she whispered furiously. "I told you to stay away from me!" She pulled futilely at her arms.

"So you did. How surprising that I seem to be ignoring you." he said, smiling crookedly.

"Get off me!" Sango bucked her hips, trying to dislodge him. Fear crept in as she realized he wasn't moving and right on its heels came the flush that filled her cheeks and snaked down to settle deep in her belly. She felt something harden against her where Miroku's body met hers and flushed even more. It seriously pissed her off.

"Temper, Temper." Miroku said, sotto voice. He couldn't explain it even to himself, but watching Sango get angry had to be the best aphrodisiac in the world. Just how mad she can get? He wondered. She was positively quivering with fury, and feeling her body wriggling against him was heating him up in some _very_ interesting ways.

"Don't patronize me, you smug, irritating, underhanded…mmmph!" he quickly pressed his lips against hers for a moment, cutting her off and feeling the soft edges of her lips with his tongue. Her body was slightly arched towards him as she yanked on her hands, and he could feel her breasts, nipples hardening as they pressed against his chest. Getting turned on by this, are we? Well, well, well, wasn't that interesting?

She glared at him furiously as he drew away and she snarled. "Stop it, you stupid, lecherous, bas-mmmmph!" His lips assaulted hers with soft pressure, sucking slightly at her bottom lip, his eyes sparkling as he stared into hers. As much as he wanted to, he wasn't stupid enough to try tasting the heated inside of her mouth again: she'd probably bite off his tongue if he tried, the little spitfire. He still paid attention to the aroused state of her nipples and the frantic movement of her hips under his, however, and felt himself grin. If she knew how good it felt when her body rubbed against his manhood that way…

Heh, she'd likely kill me, he thought.

"I am going to kill you when I get up, you…mmmph!!" Once again, he pressed his mouth against hers, running his tongue over her reddened, full lower lip, savoring it. When he pulled away, he chuckled slightly.

"Sango, please, feel free to tell me whatever is disturbing you right now. I find that I can only view your open mouth as an invitation to taste it. And I would love another invitation." He said suggestively. When she firmed her lips and didn't say a word, his smile grew. "Nothing more to say? Sango, I'm surprised at you. Shyness between us, at this stage? Really, my dear, it's all right, I won't betray your confidence. Go ahead, Taijiya, please, tell me what's on your mind."

Sango was glaring at him so hard at this point that he would almost swear he saw her eyes glowing. Teasing her like this, when she couldn't beat him to within an inch of his life, was turning out to be quite a lot of fun.

"So, what shall we do tonight, I wonder?" he asked in mock supposition. "I wouldn't being doing my duty as a husband if I didn't provide some entertainment for my new wife, after all. Do you have any suggestions? Anything you'd like to do?"

"I'd like to kick you sorry ass, you stupid Hou-mmmph!!!" He pressed down harder against her in a quick assault of tongue and lips that left her breathless and pissed off at the same time.

"I'm sorry, Sango," Miroku said, panting slightly, "I didn't quite hear you. Would you care to repeat that?" She scowled and twisted her hands, to no affect, trying to ignore the pull low in her belly every time Miroku kissed her.

His face started to lower towards hers again and she tried to bring down her hands to block him once more, the now familiar tingles running up and down her skin when she couldn't. Her eyes widened as the tingles grew sharper, collecting in her breasts and the juncture of her thighs. Realizing just how strong Miroku was, how helpless she actually was right now, she should be scared to death. She _should_ be scared to death but instead, she was shivering as she felt heat building up in between her legs. This was crazy! Just because that lecherous houshi was stronger than she'd thought, using his whole stupid body as one giant caress, was no reason to feel this way. She should be pissed off! She was pissed off, damn it, she told herself resolutely. When she got loose from him, she was going to kick his ass so badly…

Reaching her face, Miroku didn't attack her lips again as she'd thought, but simply hummed against her ear softly. "Hmmmmm, did you know I can see you nipples through your kimono right now, Sango?" She blushed and tried once again to free her arms. "I must admit, I was rather surprised to see them looking so…firm."

He moved his pelvis slightly, grinding his hips against her so that she couldn't help but feel a hard protrusion pushing upwards along her thighs, and her nipples tightened even more in response. He laughed against her ear, tickling it with his breath. "Why my dear Sango, I do believe you're enjoying this."

"I-I'm not! I don't like this- at all." she said weakly as he thrust against her again. She closed her eyes as she heard him groan softly, heat spreading across her skin everywhere Miroku's body pressed against hers.

Miroku laughed softly again, his voice slightly hoarse. "Say what you will, Sango, but your body doesn't seem to agree with you. Your nipples are so ready to be tasted I am, I admit, very tempted to oblige." She flushed painfully at the image his words evoked, squirming against him. "And I would imagine, " he said, bringing his head a skin's breadth from her small pink ear, "that if I checked, I'd find you wet and ready for me. Shall I slip my hand down there and find out?" he asked, flicking his tongue against her ear slightly.

Sango started frantically wrenching at her arms, trying to roll and knock him off. He had to concentrate, but with an effort he managed to hold on, smiling wider than ever at how dramatically she was reacting.

"Did I hit a nerve, Sango?" He struggled against the urge to push things just that little bit further. He really should stop now. It was so damn fun, getting her worked up and writhing under him, but she _was_ still an innocent. He didn't think she was ready for anything more, especially when she was obviously still so skittish about him…and the marriage. Thinking about her plans for the marriage had him scowl a moment, and he thrust again slightly as though staking a claim. She was his wife, dammit!

He really _shouldn't_ go any further, he thought again as she reacted to his movements by twisting wildly. But looking down into her furious eyes, feeling her body sliding against his as Sango writhed underneath him, he lost the fight to restrain himself. He just had to see: was he affecting her as much as she was affecting him? He was almost certain, but…it never hurt to check.

"Sango, you really do make this too irresistible." he said, looking at her with heat in his eyes. He quickly transferred her wrists into one hand before she could pull them away. Pushing further up onto his knees, he started to work his free hand in between their bodies.

She felt his hand slide across her breast, fingering her peaked nipple through her clothes for a moment before moving lower. He ran his fingers across her ribs, almost tickling her with his soft touch. By the time his hand was splayed across her belly, caressing it through the kimono in small, patient strokes, Sango was panicking.

"Houshi, don't! Stop it right now! I mean it! Miroku, stop!" Miroku's hand paused just above her pubic bone. Miroku? She'd called him by name? He looked up from his focus on her breasts, eyes wide and surprised. She'd never done that before…

"Sango." He said softly, bringing his hand back up.

Sango, still yanking at her arms and unaware of his retreat, finally managed to pull an arm free with an angry wrench.

His eyes swung up past her face as he felt her arm slip from his grasp. He sighed and flinched in anticipation. "Oh…hell."

Within moments, there was a meaty sounding slap. One minute after that, Miroku was laying over four feet away, welted and bruised, moving his jaw back and forth gingerly to see if anything was broken.

"Hentai!" She bit out, cheeks flushed so dark that he could actually see it, even in the moonlight, "Don't you ever come near me again, you stupid, sneaky, lecherous, perverted monk!"

Miroku knew he should just keep quiet, but once again temptation got the best of him. "Don't come near you? Are you certain about that, Sango? It seemed to me that your body quite enjoyed the last few minutes…"

"I did not!" she yelled furiously. "I – I hated every single moment of it! Every single moment!" She clenched her fists for a moment and kicked out at him one last time before stalking over to Kirara and Shippou. She looked over to the campfire as she walked and saw Inuyasha's head upraised and peering over at the noise curiously. She bit her lip to keep from screaming again. Could it _get_ any more humiliating!?

How could he do that to her?! That stupid, conceited, seductive…invader! What the hell did he think he was going to accomplish? And how was she going to stop him?! They'd been married mere days and he was already all over her; what was she going to do? If she couldn't even fall asleep without him coming after her, what was she going to do??

She reached Kirara and Shippou and lay down, breathing heavily. Looking at the stars, she clenched her thighs together, trying to ignore the damp, heated sensation that still lingered between them. Stupid houshi, she fumed, growing even more frustrated because there was a small part of her that was desperately curious, wondering what might have happened if she hadn't managed to free her hands.

Miroku simply lay where he'd let himself be thrown, looking up at the stars as well. Sango was undeniably the most amazing woman he'd ever met, he mused. Strong and sensual and…well, it seemed that she was even a little turned on by being restrained. Who would have thought that his modest, petite little Taijiya had a tiny bit of a perverted side? How sweet, he thought, licking his lips slightly in remembrance.

I wonder if she'd like to be tied up?

He shook his head, laughing at himself. Now he really _was_ thinking like the perverted monk everyone insisted on calling him, he realized wryly. Of course, the concept of that type of play wasn't totally unknown to him, but for all his reputation as a pervert, he'd never actually participated in it before, himself. The little taste he'd just had was actually a lot more enjoyable than he would have guessed, he thought, grinning wickedly. He supposed that worked out well for them both, honestly, as he didn't think he'd be getting anywhere near Sango _or_ her body without a little bit of… persuasion. Not for a while yet, anyway. The only problem was…

"Getting slapped in the face didn't help me discover more about her in the slightest. I guess Sango didn't need to worry after all." He smiled to himself, nonetheless. Sango was back to her old self again. Lovely. And letting himself think about exactly how her lips and body had felt underneath him, he drifted off to sleep.

xxxxxxx

"Is anyone else getting a weird feeling about this?" Inuyasha asked later the next day. They'd arrived at the village late in the morning, secured their lodgings, and were now heading towards the rumored demon. Who somehow seemed to live _inside_ the village.

Earlier on, villagers in the outlying areas had spoken of a ferocious demon, one who lured women away by enchantments and evil spells. Of course, as soon as Miroku and Inuyasha heard that, they'd been all for turning right back around and dropping the women off somewhere safer. Until, that is, Sango and Kagome got on Kirara's back and flew on ahead without them, making the point rather moot.

Now, however, they were in the actual village where this demon supposedly resided and the talk of spells had disappeared. The people had been friendly enough, even pointing them in the direction of their target, but they laughed off any talk of magic or possession. One woman had even giggled when they asked about it, turning bright red.

"You'll understand when you meet Kichiro, " she'd said, giggling again. "He's not using any enchantments. He doesn't need them!"

Miroku answered Inuyasha's question. "It does seem odd. I haven't yet detected any demonic aura."

"There aren't any shards, either, I'm afraid." Kagome added. Inuyasha was surprised at how relieved that made him. Maybe it was the thought of a demon who could enchant women being made even _more_ powerful by a jewel shard.

"Should we just return home, then?" asked Sango, aiming her question at everyone but Miroku. Her pointed avoidance of the monk had started the moment everyone rose in the morning. "These villagers don't seem like they're looking for help, and most of the others we talked to spoke of hearsay and rumor rather than actual fact."

Unsurprisingly, Miroku made a point of answering Sango's question, as _he'd_ been doing since she'd started avoiding him. "It wouldn't hurt to investigate, since we're already here."

"I'd feel better if we checked it out as well, " added Kagome, and Sango nodded.

They walked to the outskirts of the village where they came to a narrow, well-groomed path that headed towards a small wooded area. As their host's directions had indicated, they followed the path. Soon after they entered the shade of the trees, they found a large, well constructed dwelling in a clearing. A few cows were kept in check by a low wooden fence that surrounded the front of the house. At the moment, there was also a tall young man dressed in an expensive looking red kimono, bent over and dousing his head with water from the well.

Kagome and Sango stared as the man stood up, water sluicing off his sable, waist length hair and down his slim hips. He turned his face up to the sky and stretched sinuously for a moment before turning to go inside.

"_That_ is the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life." Kagome whispered. Sango nodded, stunned.

Inuyasha's eyes went down to slits as he glared at the prissy dressed weakling. He doesn't look like all that much to me, he thought. Miroku's face was suddenly tight and annoyed, his hands gripping his shakujou so hard his knuckles turned white. The other man was almost inside when he stopped abruptly, raising his head. He turned, staring straight at Inuyasha with grass green, slitted eyes.

"He's a cat demon." Shippou said in surprise.

"Yeah, I noticed, " growled Inuyasha, disliking him even more. A thrice damned cat. Wonderful. " I'm sure he can smell me. This could be bad. I don't exactly get along with cats."

"You don't get along with anyone." Shippou muttered, earning himself a brief glare.

The demon, obviously the famed Kichiro, glided over to them. He watched Inuyasha closely, although he managed to smile briefly at Kagome and Sango. When he was within spitting distance, he stopped, staring at Inuyasha speculatively.

"I must admit, I've never fought another half-demon before, " he said in a low, silky voice. "Are you seeking battle?" He asked casually.

Inuyasha snorted as the jerk's scent finally drifted over. Huh, he really was another half demon. "No." Inuyasha said curtly, eyeing the man. Stupid cat demons were usually damn fast.

The cat looked him up and down and he felt his hackles rising. Sizing him up, huh? Well, if this fucker wanted a fight, he'd be happy to oblige him.

"Something else then?" The half demon asked smoothly, and continued as Inuyasha's glare grew somewhat confused, "I must admit I've never really been attracted to men, but you are rather pretty. You might be able to persuade me."

Inuyasha's mind went blank for a moment. His mouth tried to compensate. "Huh?"

"That hair of yours, it's quite lovely. Is it as soft as it looks?" Kichiro reached out a hand to touch Inuyasha's hair and Inuyasha's brain finally kicked in. He slapped the man's hand away with his claws and reared back.

"Gaaah! What the hell's wrong with you! You don't just go up to a strange man and…and…you don't _do_ that! And you don't ever fucking do that to _me_!"

"But you're so pretty, Inuyasha" murmured Miroku from behind him, and Inuyasha rounded on him.

"Shut the fuck up, Miroku! Don't even start that kind of shit with me because I will…aaaaaah!" Inuyasha leaped in the air and twirled back to Kichiro. "Did you just touch my ass?!! I am going to fucking kill you, you damn pervert!" He leapt the fence to confront the rapidly retreating tomcat only to stop as Sango's Hiraikotsu slammed into the ground in front of him.

Her voice sounded half strangled when she called out to him. He would swear she was trying not to laugh. "He's obviously not using an enchantment, Inuyasha. Why don't we just leave him be."

"Right after I beat the shit out of him." Inuyasha yelled back at her.

"Inuyasha!" called Kagome. "Leave him alone." He heard her stifle a giggle and he fumed even more. "Please? I'm really looking forward to staying in a bed tonight. Let's not do something that might ruin that. Please?" He paused and turned back towards her. They did have a room alone tonight… "I've heard there are hot springs, too." She cajoled. Images of what could be accomplished with a wet, naked Kagome overwhelmed him for a moment.

He took one step towards her when he felt a hard hand on his ass again. "I'd be happy to show you where they are." The man purred from right behind him.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Inuyasha spat, turning around and slamming a fist into the idiot's stomach, knocking him back against the house and partway through the wall. The cat didn't get back up, much to Inuyasha's satisfaction. "Huh, puny little bastard, aren't ya?" he snorted and turned back to the group, jumping the fence and starting back down the trail to the village, grabbing Kagome's hand as he passed by.

He heard Sango hop the fence to retrieve her hiraikotsu, and then a snigger from someone behind him. He scowled. "I don't want to hear a fucking word, assholes." Shippou and the girls broke out in giggles and he rolled his eyes, imagining Miroku smirking silently behind him as well. Dammit, why did all the weird shit always happen to him?

As soon as they were out of sight from the house, Kichiro raised his head carefully and smiled slyly in the direction of the village. "That went well." He said softly as he pushed himself to his feet. He went to the well and carefully washed off the hand that he'd used to touch the silver haired hanyou, shaking it dry with a grimace of distaste. He gave one last glance toward the village.

"Until tonight, my lady." He promised, and went back inside.

xxxxxxx

Kagome and Sango began questioning some of the women more thoroughly once they returned to the village proper, and soon had a clearer picture of the situation. As best they could tell, Kichiro was basically the darling of the female population for miles around. Women constantly brought him food, did his laundry, cleaned his house, even brought him little gifts from time to time. The half demon had never killed or attacked anyone that they could discover. He simply…catted around, and left a multitude of disgruntled men as he did so. It was fairly obvious which frustrated and annoyed gender was keeping alive the rumors of enchantments and spells.

Once they were sharing their mid-day meal inside their host's main room, the women shared what they'd learned. After a moment, Shippou chuckled slightly.

"What the hell's so funny?" Inuyasha asked belligerently, sure the joke was going to be at his expense.

"I was just thinking. This Kichiro guy is a lot like Miroku. Except he's even better at being Miroku than Miroku is." Shippou said, chuckling again.

"What exactly do you mean by that remark?" Miroku asked, slightly offended.

"Well, he's a pretty-boy, but he's prettier than you." Shippou said, holding up a finger. "He's a womanizer, but not only is no one slapping him, they're actually coming to serve him in his own home!" He stuck up another finger. Then he sniggered a moment, glancing mischievously over at Inuyasha, "and he's brave enough to grab Inuyasha's butt, which you never did."

"I never wanted to!" Miroku said, irritated. He was still frustrated by Sango's reaction to the black haired half-demon. He couldn't believe Sango had defended him from Inuyasha! And she found him attractive? Jealousy reared it's ugly head for a moment as he remembered her agreement with Kagome's awed praise of the man's looks. Did Sango really find the cat hanyou _that_ attractive? If she thought that he would sit idly by while she decided to cavort with another man…

Inuyasha's next words suddenly brought his focus back to the real world.

"That's not true. Miroku tried to grab my butt that one night a few days ago outside of Kaede's." Inuyasha said, annoyed that they would think the cat was better than he or Miroku. Ha, take that, you stupid cat. Miroku's just as much a hentai as you are, so there.

Everyone's mouth fell open as they looked first at Inuyasha, and then over to a suddenly flushed Miroku.

"I thought you were Sango, you baka!" Miroku sputtered. He looked at everyone's expression of disbelief. "I thought he was Sango!"

"You thought Inuyasha, " Shippou looked over at the red clad, silver haired hanyou, "was Sango?" then he looked at the small, brown haired woman clad in black. "Whatever you say, Miroku." Shippou said doubtfully.

"It was the middle of the night!" Miroku paused when he realized that might not be a persuasive argument. Starting to grow flustered, he tried again. "The idiot was carrying me! I was not even fully awake yet!"

Miroku looked over at Sango when he heard a muffled giggle. "Sango!"

She covered her mouth with her hand, but he could still hear her giggling. Kagome was looking over at Inuyasha and shaking her head even as she tried to keep from laughing.

"Inuyasha, you didn't!"

"What? I needed to talk to him. Big fucking deal."

Shippou snorted a minute as he tried to laugh and eat at the same time. "All right, so Miroku gets points for balls as well…"

"I thought he was Sango!" Miroku yelled, frustrated. "And this is not a competition!"

Sango and Kagome gave up and simply giggled helplessly while Miroku glared at Inuyasha. That idiotic hanyou, why is his big mouth always getting me into these things? he thought.

"What?" Inuyasha asked, throwing up his hands.

"Actually, I think Kichiro gets a few more points since he's molested Inuyasha twice." Shippou added, obviously thinking about it.

"It's not a competition!" Snapped Miroku again.

"I guess that's good. 'Cause if it was, you'd be losing." Said Shippou, and stuffed another rice ball into his mouth.


	19. Ch 19 The Hot Springs

Disclaimer: don't own anything even related to the Inuyasha manga, anime, etc… No money coming to me from anything I do with this stuff.

A/N The plot thickens, and all that. Weird, who actually thought this would have plot? And frankly, I was expecting something else entirely to do the 'thickening.' Gotta have a little talk with those unruly characters, dang it.

So, not so many laughs in this one. There are some coming up in a chapter or two. Hopefully it'll still be interesting!

Chapter 19 – The Hot Springs

Much to Inuyasha's dismay, the village actually had two hot springs on the east side, one on either end of the village. Traditionally, the southern end was for the men, the northern for the women. Stupid, in his opinion, but Kagome had pitched a royal fit that he 'follow local customs,' so here he sat on the men's side, bored as hell.

Hey, Kagome won't order me around anymore once I'm her husband, mocked his conscience. Are you sure you aren't a prophet or something?

_Oh fuck off. Anyway, it _could_ have worked out that way._

Yeah, in the land of Delusion and Denial, maybe. What a dope.

_Screw you, asshole._

Inuyasha grumbled to himself, fuming. Stupid little Shippou got to go hang out with _his_ Kagome on the other side. What did he get? He got to see Miroku's bare chest. How fucked up was that? Who the hell wanted to see the houshi's stupid, lily-white chest?

He glanced at Miroku's body soaking in the hot water. No _way_ was he getting in water that hot. Ugh. How did Miroku stand it? He really couldn't understand why all the humans he hung out with constantly wanted to immerse themselves in near boiling water. Although, _watching_ Kagome immerse herself, especially when she used that bubbly, sweet smelling stuff…that was a different story.

Lech.

_Shut up._

He looked over at Miroku again. "So, what happened, Monk? I thought you had these amazing seduction skills and stuff." Inuyasha said as he crouched next to the springs.

Miroku looked over at him. "Amazing seduction skills? What on earth are you talking about?" he spoke rather slowly. Probably hurts to talk, thought Inuyasha, laughing at him. Since the afternoon, Miroku had managed to acquire a black eye, a swollen jaw, and an impressive goose egg on the back of his head. All courtesy of Sango.

"Yesterday, you, Sango, kissing and groping galore? I was really impressed. But now… she's kicking your ass, houshi. It's sad. Pathetic." He said, shaking his head.

Miroku looked at him from the one eye that wasn't swollen and smiled painfully. "Actually, yesterday, Sango was acting uncharacteristically meek for some reason. She's simply back to her old self at the moment."

Inuyasha thought about it. "So, instead of you actually having skills, it was just Sango being nice?"

"I wouldn't say _that_…"

"You know, _Kagome_ thought _I_ had skills." Inuyasha boasted, cutting him off, and Miroku chuckled, shaking his head.

'Inuyasha, a gentleman does _not_ kiss and tell."

"Whose telling? I didn't say anything except the fact that I got skills…and you don't." Inuyasha beamed at him.

"Inuyasha, " Miroku smiled against his will. "You're hopeless, you know that?" He leaned his head back against the bank behind him and stared at the steam rising into the darkened sky. In a quiet voice, he said, "Kagome and you seem to be reconciling yourselves to this marriage much more quickly than I would have expected. I'm glad."

"Thanks." Inuyasha responded after a moment. "I'm guessing you and Sango ain't doin' so hot?"

"Things could be better. However, I view her behavior today as a step in the right direction. " At Inuyasha's skeptical look, he continued. "Oddly enough, I'd rather she fight with me. All yesterday, she seemed frightened and on edge. And I haven't the slightest idea why."

"Sango, frightened? You're kidding, right?" Huh, should've caught that. What were you doin' yesterday, nose?

Concentrating on Kagome, baka.

_Nose?!!_

Of course not, his conscience sneered, when was the last time a body part spoke? Now stop talking to me and pay attention.

"…I would swear that she was frightened every time I got near." Miroku was saying.

"Yeah, right. Sango's never been afraid of _you. _It's not as though you can hurt her. Well, maybe with the wind tunnel, but she'd have to be going crazy to worry about that. Are you sure you're not imagining things? Ya know, when you get all worked up like that, your brain won't work real well."

"Thank you for that little tidbit, O Scholar of Lustful Impulses." Miroku said wryly. "But as 'preoccupied' as I might have been yesterday, I wasn't imagining her reaction. Still, I don't understand why she was so frightened and yet went out of her way to, well, not to invite my advances, precisely. She simply…"

"She didn't pound you flat like she normally does. Which you'd think she would, if she was really scared you'd hurt her or somethin'." Inuyasha mused

"I never said she thought I would do her an injury." Miroku said.

"Well, what the hell else would scare her every time you come near? It can't be the groping, 'cause you've done that for months and it never bothered her enough to scare her. And you're not _that_ ugly." He ignored Miroku's raised eyebrow as he continued, "So, it's not like it could be anything else, is it?"

Miroku stared straight ahead, trying to think. "I don't know. If she's not afraid of injury, and she's not afraid of, uh, my attentions, then what remains for her to fear?" Miroku was sure he was right on the verge of the answer. Was there some way he could harm Sango that he wasn't aware of? Something…

Inuyasha grunted, "Who the hell knows. She's a girl, though, right? You just know that means it's gonna be somethin' weird and crazy. I mean, look at Kagome! She used to sit me all the time for no reason at all!"

Miroku shook his head, "There was usually a reason, Inuyasha, you merely missed it most of the time. Honestly, you have been rather oblivious when it comes to Kagome's finer feelings, especially considering how much she…cares about you." Miroku's eyes grew wide. No….it couldn't be. But, could Sango…?

"Inuyasha, you don't think…"

"What?"

"Could Sango be afraid that I would…hurt her?"

"Isn't that what I just said?" Inuyasha said, annoyed.

"Not hurt in that way! Just thinking of Kagome…is Sango worrying more about her feelings? Does she think that I could hurt _them_ in some way?" he muttered more to himself than Inuyasha

Inuyasha shook his head. "See, that's why I stayed alone for so long! You don't have friends, you don't have to worry about feelings and all that crap. You just kill whoever pisses you off. Well, or beat the shit out of 'em. Rip off an arm, maybe…"

"AHEM." Miroku cleared his throat loudly, glaring, "Back to the topic at hand?"

"Oh, yeah. Whatever. What crap were you just talking about?"

"Sango." Miroku glared again until he saw the taunting gleam in Inuyasha's eyes, and he snorted. "Speaking of people who anger others…"

"Heh, got ya, didn't I? No really, I'm listening. So, Sango might think you're gonna make her cry, 'cause I guess she actually _is_ a girl and they worry about shit like that. Anything else?"

After rolling his eyes, Miroku sat without saying a word for a minute. Inuyasha was about to get up and shake the man to make him speed it up when Miroku spoke again, "So what I have, then, is that Sango's fearful behavior started once we wed, and so it is likely related to something that marriage itself would change. As she's never been reticent in protecting her body, I can only assume that particular challenge is not at issue here."

"Well, you have been coming on pretty strong lately, monk."

Miroku shook his head, "Trust me, she has the ability to stop that particular activity cold. Or should I say, she believes she does." He smirked slightly before shaking his head. "That being the case, it looks more likely that she is worried about something more esoteric than physical touching. And to top it all off, Shippou has overheard her say that there is something she is desperately attempting to hide from me. If it's not related to the physical, if she feels that she can protect her body, perhaps…perhaps she is protecting some particular thought or feeling from me?" He stopped, his eyes positively glowing, "Could it be that she has feelings for me?"

"You're askin' me? How the hell should I know?"

"It was a rhetorical question, Inuyasha."

"Whatever. Kagome 's always saying you both have the hots for each other, that's all I know. Although she was right about you, so maybe she actually knows what she's talking about."

"Kagome thinks that Sango cares for me?" And she was in Sango's confidence, wasn't she? If anyone would know what she thought, it would be Kagome. And she thought Sango cared for him!

"I think she said somethin' more like 'they're both totally in love with each other.' Something sappy like that."

"She thinks Sango loves me?" Miroku looked so stunned Inuyasha was tempted to poke him just to see if he would tip over. "Sango loves me…" He smiled, big and broad. His smiled quickly faded however. "But, if she truly loves me, and we've married, why is she still so terrified? Does she think I would reject her, even though we're already wed? I thought she understood how I felt."

"You serious?" Inuyasha looked at the confused Monk, "Man, and you guys call _me_ dense. Houshi, you womanize like it's an athletic event. What woman _wouldn't_ run screaming from that? Well, or kill ya. I don't get why Sango doesn't just pound you when that shit happens and take care of it that way, but, eh…that's just me."

"But…we're _married_ now." At Inuyasha's look he scowled slightly. "I would not break my wedding vows by becoming an adulterer!"

Inuyasha snorted loudly.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Miroku asked, offended.

"You're not going to break your wedding vows? Yeah, like any of us believe that."

"I am telling the truth!"

"Houshi, you're a monk. You took vows for that too. But you chase women, you lie, you steal, and you're a cheat!"

After a moment's pause, Miroku sighed deeply, "All right, I admit I can see why Sango might doubt I would adhere to our wedding vows. But however unlikely the circumstances, I made _these_ vows as an adult. I will not betray them."

"If you say so." Inuyasha said slowly. "Too bad you and Shippou are sharing the room with Sango tonight, though, or maybe you'd get a chance to tell her that."

Miroku smiled. "We're not. I talked to our host just after the girls left for the hot springs and persuaded him to let Shippou stay with his older daughters in their room for the night."

"You sly little bastard." Inuyasha said, admiring. "I take it all back. You do have seductive skil-."

Inuyasha suddenly stood up, looking out into the darkness. "What the hell…" he said. He took off running, leaving a confused Miroku behind to clamber out and wrap some of his robes around his waist briefly before he ran after him. A minute later, Miroku heard what had set the hanyou off.

"Inuyasha!! Miroku!! Inuyasha!!" Shippou's high pitched voice was panicked and shrill. Miroku caught up to Inuyasha within moments, the hanyou holding onto a grubby, tear streaked Shippou and trying to get him to talk through his sobbing.

"What the hell is wrong? Stop blubbering already and tell me!" Inuyasha said roughly, smacking the kitsune in the head, shocking him into silence for a moment, "Where's Kagome? Did something happen to Kagome?"

Shippou began to wail again, "She's gone! She's gone, he took her!" Inuyasha felt something cold slide into his chest.

"What do you mean, gone? Who took her? What happened, dammit!" _He should have gone with them, and fuck the local customs. He should have been with her! _

Dread filled Miroku as he saw that Sango hadn't followed the little fox demon, "Sango. Where's Sango, Shippou? Is she with Kagome?" Shippou continued to wail. "Calm down, Shippou! We need to know what has happened!"

Shippou gulped back another sob and nodded, biting his lip. "I… I th-think Sango's _d-dead!"_ he ended on another wail.

"Dead?" Miroku said blankly, shaking his head. "No. No, she can't… She was just…" his entire face hardened and he reached down and grabbed Shippou by his shirt front. "Where is she?" Shippou continued to wail and Miroku shook him. "Where IS she, Shippou! Where's Sango?"

"a-at the hot springs. He just took Kagome. But, Sango won't wake up! I tried and tried, but she won't…" Miroku let go and turned, sprinting in a beeline through the sparse woods towards the women's springs.

Inuyasha grabbed up Shippou and sped after him, growling at Shippou in his arms. "It was Naraku, wasn't it?" he asked, sick inside.

"No, no you don't understand! It wasn't Naraku, it was Kichiro. Kichiro took her." Relief flooded him for a moment. It wasn't Naraku, thank the Gods. Wait a second. Kichiro? That damn, perverted cat had Kagome?

"That cowardly, ass-grabbing, donkey-faced, son of a whore! If he's hurt her…" He cut himself off and concentrated on running faster. _Just hold on, Kagome, I'm coming. _

xxxxxx _Half an hour earlier_

Kagome was pinning up her hair, getting ready to undress for the springs, humming to herself. Sango had already stripped down to her juban, but then again, it always took her longer to undress anyway; she needed the head start. Both Kagome and Sango were feeling rather bubbly; they'd been ecstatic at a chance to really bathe for the first time in days. The only issue had been Inuyasha's original insistence on keeping an eye on things, as usual.

What a disaster that would have been, thought Kagome. They might not have even let us use the springs at all if he hadn't finally agreed to go away!

Sango was sitting on the edge of the springs, her hand poised to disrobe completely, when she paused, "You don't think they'll spy on us this time, do you?"

"Well, you know Inuyasha won't…and I would imagine he'll keep Miroku in line."

"Only because Inuyasha doesn't want him to see you." Sango said, smiling slightly and chuckling, "I cannot believe you pitched a fit like that to keep them away. I thought I was watching a child have a temper tantrum."

Kagome blushed slightly, but shrugged, nonetheless. "It worked, didn't it? Sometimes one has to descend to Inuyasha's level to get a point across, that's all." She looked at Sango and they both giggled.

"It's really pretty here, isn't it?" Kagome said, looking around the hot springs once the giggles subsided. "I don't think I've ever seen steam that looked pink in the moonlight before. Look how thick it is! I feel like I'm in the middle of a cloud." Sango didn't respond, and Kagome looked over at her to see her leaning back on her hands, staring straight ahead dreamily.

"Sango? Yoo hoo, Sango-chan!" She called out, laughing at her friend's distracted air.

She frowned as Sango continued staring. "Sango, are you all right?" she asked. Sango finally turned her head to look at her in slow motion. She looked confused for a moment, and then smiled and collapsed limply backwards onto the ground. "Sango!' Kagome jumped to her feet, or tried to anyway. Her legs refused to bear her weight as she pushed on them and she dropped to her knees for a moment before falling on her side. She was able to push herself up on her hands, but no matter what she tried, she couldn't get her legs to obey her wishes. Frightened and angry, she attempted to crawl over to Sango. Gritting her teeth, she was able to drag herself a few feet closer before her arms stopped responding as well, and she fell onto her side once more. Face tingling, hands numb and heavy, legs completely unresponsive, she lay on the ground helplessly, breathing hard.

The mist was slowly dissipating, the color returning to the pale, moonlit gray she was used to, when she finally heard footsteps coming near and managed to turn her head with glacial speed, trying to stay awake.

"Shippou?" she whispered, "Shippou, please help… something's wrong…" Her vision was blocked briefly as someone strode next to her head before crouching down to peer into her face.

"Ki-chi-ro?"

"Hello, sweetling." There was a long pause as he smiled at her, reaching down to stroke a clawed finger across her cheek. She silently screamed at her body to move. What was he doing? "Feeling a bit sleepy, are we?"

Kagome felt herself hoisted into the air and closed her eyes, fighting nausea as the world spun dizzily. She was wrapped tightly in something dark and furry that smelled rather like some wet, feral animal.

"Don't worry, the vapors will wear off soon. I'll make certain not to start anything without you. After all, I wouldn't want to take advantage of you in this condition, now would I?" Kichiro asked in a teasing voice. He leaned over, rubbing his face slowly over her hair.

"Inu-yasha." She whimpered, opening her eyes again in alarm, and felt him vibrate as he chuckled.

"I wouldn't count on him coming any time soon, little one. After my performance earlier today, I'm the _last_ person he'll be looking for." She couldn't stop angry tears from leaking out and she would swear his voice softened. "Oh, it won't be so bad. Trust me, I can make certain you enjoy it. I won't hurt you more than I must."

His expression suddenly changed and his eyes shone eerily in the dark, "However, I _will _hurt Inuyasha. I am sorry, my dear, but I can't pass up this opportunity." He bared his fangs slightly, his gaze boring through the misty waters in front of him.

"Not only did he come here, but he left his woman alone and unprotected. He practically gift-wrapped you for me. Now I finally get the chance help him discover what it's like to fail his woman _utterly_. I can finally make certain he _suffers._" He hissed, then took a few deep breaths, visibly calming himself. Looking down at her again, a sad smile crossed his face. "A pity you had to become involved, but…well, we'll both simply have to make the best of what the fates have offered us." Kagome felt her body trying to shudder, tears still trailing down her cheeks as she desperately tried to move, to scream, anything!

He took a moment to lift her higher and tossed her over a shoulder, obviously done talking. She could see the hot springs receding out of the corner of her eye, knew he was taking her somewhere, and she still couldn't even get the energy to push him away. _I'm so sorry, Inuyasha_, she thought bleakly. _I can't stop him. Please, help me! Please…_

Shippou froze as he came over the lip of the hill hiding the hot springs and witnessed the end of Kagome's abduction. Below him, he could just make out Sango, laying pale and still on the bank of the springs, while a tall man was walking away, carrying Kagome over his shoulder. The man paused for a moment, looking back at Sango briefly before the half-demon turned and sped off.

Shippou stared after him, his mouth open in shock as he recognized Kichiro, before he scampered across the intervening distance and up to Sango's pale form. _What did he do to them? _He finally scrambled over to Sango, biting his lip at her stillness.

"Sango?" he said tentatively, looking frantically between Sango and where Kichiro had walked away. As Sango lay there, unmoving, he began to whine deep in his throat. "Sango?" he reached out to touch her and started crying. "Sango? Wake up, Sango!" Shaking her shoulder frantically, "Sango! Sango!"

xxxxxxx

_Back to the present_

Miroku raced along the edge of the village, miraculously avoiding the moonlit trees in his path. His brain felt hollow. He didn't want to think, to feel anything until he could _see_. If he could just see her, it would be all right. He was sure Shippou was wrong. He had to be wrong. Miroku broke from the trees as he crossed the path leading to the women's springs and veered onto it, tripping on the cloth around his waist and legs as he went. As soon as he crested the hill, he looked down. Sango, barely illuminated by the moonlight and nearby torches, lay on her back in her underthings, perfectly still.

"No." he breathed, "Oh no, please, no…Sango. Sango!" He scrambled down, sliding as he went until he ended up kneeling at her side. She hadn't stirred once, and with all the noise he was making, did that mean she was-? He tried to feel her heart beat, but his own was pounding so hard that he couldn't tell if what he felt belonged to him or Sango. He watched, tight as a bowstring, for some sign of life. When her chest finally moved, he closed his eyes for a moment as he realized he hadn't lost her

"Oh, thank the Gods, you're still with us." He watched for a moment, confirming to himself that her chest really moved, that she still lived. It wasn't until he heard Inuyasha rushing in from behind him that he tried to rouse her.

"Sango?" he put a still shaking hand on her head, smoothing her hair. "Sango, can you hear me?"

Shippou was still crying. "She's dead, I told you, she's…"

"She's still alive, Shippou." Miroku cut him off, "But I don't know why she won't wake up…Shippou, bring one of the torches over." Shippou grabbed one of the 2 torches the women had embedded in the soft dirt around the springs and brought it close. Miroku had already looked at her front, so he ran his hands around the back of her head and neck, checked her hands and feet, gently rolled her over for a moment to look along her back, and finally he started undoing her juban.

Inuyasha cursed. "Miroku, for the love of… What the hell do you think you're doing? This isn't the time, you fucking lech!"

Miroku continued to disrobe Sango. "Turn around, Inuyasha."

"What? I will not, you damn…"

Miroku stopped, turning to glare fiercely at him. "I can't see a reason she should be unconscious. I need to check for what might lie underneath her clothing, a bite or a wound, something that could cause this! TURN AROUND, Inuyasha. You're wasting time!"

Inuyasha turned, embarrassed, furious, and scared to death for both Kagome and Sango.

"Sorry, dammit."

"Apology accepted. Now shut up and let me examine her." Miroku said harshly.

Inuyasha stalked off, prowling the springs on the opposite side where Shippou told them he'd seen Kichiro head off, looking for Kagome's scent. "It's gone. What did that fucker do? The hot springs smell strong enough as it is, but he's done something…I can't find her scent leading out from here at all!" he scowled, rubbing the growing ache in his forehead.

"Miroku!" he called out, "It's fading, but something's been in the air around here, all over the place. It's already giving me a headache."

Miroku, refastening Sango's clothing after a fruitless examination, paused. "If there was some sort of drug released into the air, it might leave a trace smell. Sango doesn't seem to have any injuries to explain what has happened, but a soporific or poison would account for this. If it was subtle enough, she would likely never even have thought to defend herself." He said, looking at the hiraikotsu that still lay on the ground next to her outer garments. Miroku was starting to regain his equilibrium. Sango was still alive. They still had time.

"You may come back now, Inuyasha. I'm done." He called out, not taking his eyes from Sango.

Inuyasha stomped back angrily. "Why'd this bastard just take Kagome? What's he gonna do with her, dammit?" Inuyasha asked, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Maybe the jewel shards?" Miroku speculated, rubbing Sango's hands vigorously as he continued to try and rouse her.

"They're still here. She took them off." Shippou said, looking at the small pile of towels and belongings the women had brought with them.

"What the hell does that asshole want with my Kagome?! Miroku, I – I've gotta go find her. You can…take care of Sango, right? I have to find Kagome!"

Miroku nodded, still watching his wife intently. "I know. You go find Kagome, and we'll work on fixing whatever ails Sango. But Inuyasha? Make sure you find out what he's done to Sango before you kill him." he said calmly, the other man's death a foregone conclusion, "We need to know what this is, if we need to acquire an antidote." Inuyasha nodded and started circling the edge of the springs, looking for footprints, scents, anything that would help him find Kagome and Kichiro.

Miroku pinched sharply on the sensitve skin on the back of Sango's neck, which managed to bring her around enough to moan softly before she went completely under again. He looked up at a soft mewing to see Kirara wobble out from a small bush a few feet away. She sat down rather drunkenly, watching Sango with concern, but otherwise, she didn't seem harmed. At least there was one piece of good news, he thought.

_Please, let this just have put Sango to sleep as well. _

After walking over to put an arm around the diminutive cat, Shippou, still hiccupping from all his weeping, looked back to Miroku. "Will she be okay?" he asked in a small voice.

"I hope so. The fact that Kirara is awake now is a good sign, I think. If it was a drug, I don't know if it will affect humans similarly, but…we can hope. And if Kichiro went to this much trouble to kidnap Kagome-sama, he probably wanted her alive, so he'd likely avoid any strong poisons. We'll need to keep Sango comfortable until Inuyasha returns, though, and we can discover what was used for certain. I'll take her to our room in the village." He said, picking up her limp body with delicate care.

"What do you think Kichiro wants with Kagome?" Shippou asked, gnawing on one of his fists.

Miroku firmed his lips and looked down at Sango before he answered. "I have no idea." He lied. If the jewel shards weren't a concern, then considering the man's reputation among the villagers, there could be a number of unsavory reasons that might explain Kagome's abduction. It seemed rather extreme to go to these lengths for a woman when most of them around seemed willing, but then again, some men enjoyed the challenge of that sort of thing. Sick bastards.

I hope Inuyasha can get there in time, he prayed silently.

"Come, Shippou, we need to get her back to the village. If we're lucky, maybe someone there knows of a substance which produces these effects. Don't forget the shards." He reminded quickly, and turned, heading back to the village.

Inuyasha, meanwhile, was growing more and more frantic. Without Kagome's scent to follow, he was left to try and track down Kichiro, but the bastard's scent was everywhere! It was like he'd tramped through the entire area for hours.

"You've been planning this for a while, haven't you, you fucker." Trying to pick out a fresh trail from all the residual ones was taking so long that Inuyasha was close to panic, thinking of what might be happening to Kagome while he was forced to move at a snail's pace.

It was like Kouga all over again, except at least then they'd had Shippou's trail to follow. This time… _You had better not hurt her, you fucking bastard, or I will rip out your throat and feed your liver to the crows. _He quivered with rage and terror, trying to force himself to go faster.


	20. Ch 20 The Cat's Revenge

Disclaimer: don't own the rights to inuyasha or make any money, etc…

Ch. 20 – The Cat's Revenge

Kagome hadn't even realized she'd lost consciousness until she suddenly noticed she was lying on a pile of brown furs inside a strange, windowless room, dimly lit by the small fire inset against one of the walls. With some relief, she noted her clothing was still intact. As she tried to sit up, however, she flopped awkwardly, her hands stuck behind her back. She yanked at them, realizing that they were tied, and then looked across the room as Kichiro spoke from the plush, red cushion he lounged on.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

She glared at him. "What do you think you're doing? Let me go!"

"What am I doing?" he asked, surprised. "I thought I made that clear. I'm taking my revenge." He sat up, stretching slowly. "I _am_ sorry about the ropes, but you're almost as famous as your mate, little Miko. I have no desire to be purified before we've finished. Don't worry, though. They'll come off when you're feeling a little more…cooperative."

Eyes narrowing, she rolled to her knees, and managed to stand up without using her hands. "Cooperative? How's this for cooperative." She ran towards him, and then veered quickly to the left to run her shoulder into the door. Instead of punching through the thin paper of the sliding door as she'd expected, she thudded hard against it and fell heavily to the floor. Looking up in a bit of a daze, she saw a large, barred wooden door show through the tear she'd managed to punch in the paper.

Kichiro cursed and came over, picking her up to carry back over the polished wood floor to the furs on the far side of the bare room. "What are you doing, you little fool? You could have knocked yourself senseless doing something like that."

"And why the heck would you care?" she asked in a high voice, hating the fact that she was starting to sound hysterical.

He placed her on the furs and stepped back. "At least what I have planned will be painless." He said as though he was being completely reasonable. "I have no wish to hurt you…"

"…you just want to hurt Inuyasha. I heard you the first time. What makes you think he even cares what happens to me?" She pulled covertly at the ropes binding her wrists as she talked. Maybe…

He raised one eyebrow. "I am not a fool. Even in the few moments I had to observe your group, it was quite obvious from the way he watched you. If something happens to you, it will make Inuyasha howl until the day he dies." He smiled harshly.

"Why do you want to do this to him? He's never done anything to you! He didn't recognize you at all, so how do you even know who he is!"

"There was no way I wouldn't recognize that canine when he came strutting in. After all, how many other half-demon dogs with silver hair, golden eyes and scarlet robes can there be?" he scowled slightly.

"But you're right, he hasn't done anything to me. For all I've learned about them, I've not laid eyes on he or his assassin brother in all the years I've lived. But his father…" He turned away from her and stalked across the room, throwing himself down on the cushion again. "His father took away _everything_ from me."

"You can't possibly blame Inuyasha for something his father did!"

"He's of the same blood, is he not? Why shouldn't I take my revenge against the sons when the father is no longer here to pay for his crimes?" he asked.

"Crimes? Everyone says Inuyasha's father was a good demon. How do you know it wasn't some other…"

"It was because of him! He bears the responsibility." Kichiro stood up and started pacing around the room. "_He_ battled the Panther Tribe and killed Oyakata. _His_ soldiers chased the survivors down. And _his_ soldiers were the ones who broke into my home and…" he stopped and turned his head, staring at her.

"You want to know his crime? My wife was alone when the Inu no Taishou's 'soldiers' came to the house. They beat her. They raped her. And when they were done with her, the fucking bastards slit her throat and used her blood to write their names on the wall. And I," his voice broke momentarily "…I didn't get so much as a scratch. I was off getting some goddamn useless fish! His men didn't care that she wasn't part of the Panther Clan anymore. They didn't bother to wonder why we lived so far from the others." He laughed bitterly. "Hell, the clan ostracized her for marrying me…they almost killed her before she got away…but it made no difference to those pigs."

"I'm sorry that happened to your wife, Kichiro. I really am." She gulped at the look in his eyes, but grit her teeth and kept going, "But Inuyasha wasn't even _there_ when this happened! He had nothing to do with it! "

He walked over to her, leaning down to grab her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him.

"Akemi had nothing to do with the clan war between the Inu no Taishou and the Panther Clan, either. It didn't matter:Akemi paid the price for her clan's sins If Inuyasha and Lord Shesshoumaru can feel the same agony as I did that day, if Inuyasha believes his woman suffered the same fate as my own, it seems only just. I simply ensure that the Inu no Taishou's clan is repaid for _his_ sins. As for innocence? It didn't matter to his soldiers that Akemi was innocent…why should I care about the innocence of the Dog General's sons?" He let go of her and stood up, turning around to stare at the fire pit against the far wall, his fists clenched.

She stared after him, ice creeping up her spine. "So…you're going to- to do the same things to me that the soldiers did to your wife?" she asked in a voice thin with renewed terror. He was insane!

"As far as Inuyasha is concerned, that's exactly what will happen." He said, grinning fiercely with bared fangs.

Kagome grit her teeth, the sight of his enormous grin setting off her temper. "You think that's what your wife would want! For you to be just like those men? A rapist? A murder-" She choked off as he spun around and sprang suddenly, his face inches from her own.

"I am _no_ rapist." He said fiercely. "I didn't take you when you slept, did I? A rapist wouldn't be so considerate, believe me."

She recovered and glared back at him. "So you didn't do anything to me before I woke up, how does that make you less a rapist than doing it when I'm awake! If you force yourself on me, it's rape, you stupid baka!"

Sitting back on his haunches, he shook his head. "I am _not_ a rapist. A rapist takes by force, but I won't take anything from you that you won't willingly give. And believe me, you'll be willing enough, before long."

"It will _never_ happen." She said firmly.

He reached out a hand and carefully cupped the back of her head, pulling her face closer. "It's already happening. Haven't you noticed it? A tingling heat that runs across your skin and stirs deep in your belly? Everything taking on a warm, rosy glow?" her eyes grew wide, noticing the heat even as he said the words. What was he doing?

"You _are _enchanting other women." She said in a horrified voice, and he laughed, releasing her and letting her drop back into a sitting position on the fur.

"Hardly. Humans are simply susceptible to chemicals my body produces. Especially women. Being alone with me in a small room like this, your body will breathe in a larger dose than normal. It won't be long now before you're body will be completely saturated. Your memory will start getting hazy; you'll be giddy, compliant, aroused….and highly open to suggestions. Stay here with me long enough, and you'll be very happy to participate in whatever I propose."

"So…what, you've got some kind of pheremones that'll make me drunk and amorous? It won't change my mind!"

He shrugged, smiling, although his eyes remained dark. "Whatever you wish to call it. We'll see how you feel in a short while, my dear, when need has you by the throat. As I said before, I _will_ make sure you enjoy this. As far as Inuyasha will know, you will be a victim of the same fate as Akemi, but… I will not make you experience that type of brutality, pretty one." his voice softened and he brushed her hair out of her eyes with a gentle hand, "As much as I hate that bastard, no one should suffer as my lady wife did."

"Don't touch me!" she spat, squirming from her bound position on the floor to move away from his hand. "And it's still rape if it's against my will."

"It won't be." He said, anger blooming on his face again, "I am not like those bastard dogs. I do _not_ rape helpless women. Before the hour is out, you'll want this as much as I do: that is not rape!"

"It will NEVER happen." She said forcefully, and scooted awkwardly around to turn her back on him. No matter what he could make her body feel, no matter how confused she got, she'd never willingly participate in this The fact that she was starting to feel, well, aroused, merely made her long for Inuyasha even more.

"I believe you'll find that it will. The longer this goes on, the less control you'll have over yourself. You'll stop caring, stop thinking… once your mind is completely open, you'd think I was Inuyasha himself if I told you to. You won't be able to help yourself." He said from behind her, and she heard him seat himself on the other side of the room, waiting.

_Never_. She reiterated to herself. As the minutes passed, she could feel herself losing ground. Her skin tingled everywhere, and she found it hard to remember why she was there. She started having moments when she looked around and wondered who the man on the other side of the room was, before she'd remember Kichiro. Even then, it didn't seem to matter quite as much that he was around. The only thing that mattered more and more was that Inuyasha _wasn't_.

Why wasn't he? Shouldn't he be here by now? Inuyasha always came after her, especially when… especially when… He should be here, right? He must be coming soon, he was never too far away, so he must just be coming soon, that's all. She was sure he'd be here soon.

After half an hour, she found herself reliving moments of the night before, shivering as she did so. Inuyasha's hands had been so firm and hot and….where the hell was he? She thought, as waves of heat continued to spread throughout her body, her mind clouding further. He should be here by now, shouldn't he? What the heck was taking him so long? She wanted him here NOW.

As her thoughts grew fuzzier, she wondered what he'd look like, naked. Wait, she'd seen him naked before once at her house, hadn't she? Oh yeah…how in the world could she have forgotten _that_? He was just so…pretty. A boy shouldn't be that pretty, she thought, scowling. And where _was_ he? Why was he doing this to her? Getting her all worked up and now when she was all ready…where was he? Why wasn't he here with her?

A hand touched her shoulder and she smiled. About time!

"How are you feeling?" a low voice purred into her ear, and she frowned. Huh? That wasn't Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha?" she asked, just to make sure. It was so hard to think …where was she?

"Yes, little one?" He said, still in that deep, silky voice. His hands softened against her shoulders and she sighed, feeling them slide forward to cup her breasts through her clothes. Inuyasha… She leaned back, looking up, and saw an absolutely angelic face with sable hair cascading around it in waves. Was tonight a new moon, she wondered hazily. He was still cupping her breasts, squeezing them gently, but for some reason it didn't feel the same as it had last night. Then she looked into bright green eyes and frowned again.

"Inuyasha? What happened to your eyes?"

Inuyasha smiled softly and pulled a hand back, brushing it over her hair. "Does it matter, sweetling?" he said easily, taking both his hands and running them over her shoulders and down her arms.

She shook her head, trying to clear it. Something wasn't right here. Inuyasha, she knew his eyes were golden. No wait, if it was a new moon, his eyes were…brown?

"Aren't your eyes supposed to brown?" Something just didn't seem right about that.

"It's all right, precious. Don't worry yourself over this. It will all make sense in a bit." He said gently, turning her to face him. He cupped her chin in his hand and she frowned. Something was wrong. Something was really wrong!

He started to lean forward to kiss her when she realized: this couldn't be Inuyasha. No way was this Inuyasha. Maybe it was a new moon, maybe his eyes _were_ green and she'd just forgotten, but… This wasn't Inuyasha. Because Inuyasha just wasn't…nice.

Inuyasha _never_ called her 'little one,' or 'sweetling' or 'precious.' He just didn't. Wench, baka, fool, hey you, Kagome-you-idiot…but endearments? No!

Come to think of it, why didn't he have any endearments for her? They were married, weren't they? He should have some nice name he called her, that jerk! I am going to smack him in the head the next time I see him, she thought, and then startled as she realized the man was about to touch her lips. She jerked back, staring at him in fright.

"Little One? What has you so worried, to put that look on your face?" the fake Inuyasha asked solicitously.

"Get away from me." She said, trying to see him from eyes that were starting to blur around the edges. She wanted Inuyasha! She tried to push the hand off her shoulders, and failed completely, finding that her hands were tied behind her back. "Why are my hands tied? What's going on? Where's Inuyasha?" Something was really, really wrong, but…she couldn't focus. All she could think about were Inuyasha's hands, and his mouth, and that fantastic, long silver hair of his that she just wanted to sink her hands into and…That other man was looking at her again.

"Where's Inuyasha?" she said, sweating from the effort to hold onto the thought. "I want Inuyasha!"

The man had his head cocked at an angle as he looked at her, his hands falling from her shoulders. "Don't believe I'm him, hmmm? And yet you're _still_ asking for him. Devoted little thing, aren't you?" he asked, rather surprised. He moved a few feet back from her, kneeling as he faced her and watched with a shuttered gaze as her eyes shifted in and out of focus.

She lost sight of him as she started thinking about Inuyasha's mouth. How soft and hot it had been, and the little pinpricks of pain on her tongue when he kissed and her tongue had grazed his fangs. She relived the feel of his hands holding her bottom, and scowled suddenly. She'd never felt his buns, had she? That hardly seemed fair. He'd copped a feel and gotten under her skirt, and she hadn't had a chance to feel _anything! _We'll just see about that, she thought self-righteously. The next time she saw him, he better be prepared to pony up, because it was going to be her turn to…to jump him. And she would. She wanted to grab him and squeeze him and taste him and…she _needed_ to feel him. Now. I bet Inuyasha has the firmest butt ever, she thought dreamily.

Her eyes focused briefly and she realized a man was sitting next to her. Did she know him? Wait, hadn't she just done something with him? She pulled at her arms, feeling the ache from the rope binding them as it pulled at her wrists. "Who are you? Where am I?" she asked, confused.

He chuckled, trying a new tact. "Don't tell me you've forgotten me already? I told you to go easy on the sake." he said smoothly, running a finger over her lips. She startled away from him, scooting backwards until her back hit the wall. She licked her lips slightly, almost desperate for something to touch them again.

"Sake? Wh-what are you talking about? What sake? Who _are_ you?" she couldn't get up the energy to actually stand, and leaned against the wall for support.

"Why, I'm your husband, sweetling. We just married this morning, don't you remember?" he smiled at her, holding out a hand, but she stayed plastered against the wall.

"Married? No, no, that's not right." She mumbled to herself. She knew that wasn't right, why wasn't it right? What was wrong…she was waiting for someone. She was waiting for-

"Inuyasha! Inuyasha will be here soon." She said firmly. Whatever else was unclear, she _knew_ that was the truth. For over a year, no matter what, that was more than simple belief: it was fact. Inuyasha would be coming soon. "I need Inuyasha." She started shaking, tried to concentrate through the fog in her brain. "Where is Inuyasha?"

He scowled at her, frustrated, and dropped his hand. "What is wrong with you, girl? Are you blind? He's not here and he's not coming. I'm the only one here, and I know a hell of a lot more about lovemaking than that stupid little whelp. Now come over here and let me untie your arms, they've got to be uncomfortable."

Inuyasha not coming? "No! You stay away from me! I'm waiting for Inuyasha." She said, her voice growing thin and childlike as she fought against the desire to have someone, anyone, touch her. Her skin was on fire! Please…Inuyasha.

She screamed in fright as an arm slammed against the wall on either side of her head. The huge half-demon loomed over her. "He won't come. There's just you, and me…and I'm quickly losing patience, little one. Give up this silly devotion to that idiotic dog and you can still manage to have a few moments of pleasure before the end. Don't you understand? Why can't you give in and enjoy this?"

Kagome shaking her head back and forth. "No! Leave me alone! Stay away from me!" she yelled, tear filled eyes glaring defiance up at him. When he reached one hand over to touch her face, she jerked her head away, "Don't touch me! Inuyasha! Inuyasha!" She started weeping, wanting to be touched so badly, but she wanted Inuyasha!

Kichiro froze as she started to weep and cry out for her mate.

How many times had he wondered what the end must have been like for Akemi? How many times had he seen her in his head, recreating her last hours, torturing himself as he wondered what happened? Part of him always imagined that she'd called curses down on her attackers' heads, fighting and clawing until the bitter end. But in some dark corner of his mind, he feared it had been like this: Akemi, cornered, desperate, calling his name even when there was no hope of rescue. Weeping…

He tried to force his hand to push the girl down. It should be so simple. She was already dazed and weak at this point, frantic with need. She wasn't even untied yet; she could hardly fight back. He could take her, and then end her with a mercifully quick slice of his claws. It would be so easy…if only he could make his hand move. Just because she was a woman didn't mean that she bore any resemblance to his wife, he told himself. There was nothing similar about this…she was the wife of his enemy! Inuyasha deserved to suffer. She deserved to …suffer.

He sat there, staring at her, unable to move forward. When she closed her eyes, still weeping softly, he backed off and knelt on the floor across from her. "What a fucking bastard I am." He said in disgust, seeing the small woman sobbing desperately across from him. He dropped his head into his hands. "What a pathetic excuse for a man…" _I'm sorry, Akemi, I can't do this. I can't do this to this girl._

He slumped there for a time before sighing heavily, getting up and pulling her away from the wall. Ignoring her dazed efforts to fight him off, he used his claws to cut away the cords binding her wrists together and left her on the floor, walking towards the barred entrance of the room.

He looked back as he reached the door. Kagome watched him warily, still obviously confused and disoriented. "I told you, I am _not_ a rapist." He said softly, "But you were right. I fooled myself into thinking that the manner in which I approached this changed the act itself, and I almost became that which I most despise." He sighed deeply, his jaw clenched.

"For your …suffering through that, I humbly ask your forgiveness." He gave her a deep obeisance. On rising, he sighed again, closing his eyes tightly, obviously struggling with something before he continued.

"I acknowledge that I now have a debt to you, little one. While I will understand if you cannot forgive me, I _will_ make what restitution I can. I give you my word, Inuyasha's woman is now excused from any vengeance I take on Akemi's behalf." His eyes narrowed, "I'm afraid I cannot offer the same pardon to the son of the Inu no Taishou, however. That family still has a debt to repay. When Inuyasha comes…you may tell him to feel free to hunt for me. I doubt he'll find me any time in the near future, but after all, we both have plenty of time. I'll be watching for him."

Kagome looked on in a fog, already losing grip on reality again as he unbarred the door and left the room, leaving the door ajar behind him.

_What the heck is going on? What is he talking about? _she thought, and felt tears on her face that she rubbed off absently. _And where's Inuyasha!_ She lay down on soft fur as the room seemed to spin slightly, waiting for him to come.

"It's so hot," she muttered. She pulled angrily at her clothes as they chafed her over-sensitized skin. "Too hot…"she muttered again, and started tearing at the fasteners. She didn't think she wanted them on any more…

What was taking Inuyasha so long!


	21. Ch 21 What Took You So Long?

Disclaimer – I don't get a dime from anything related to Inuyasha, nor do I own the rights to the manga, the anime, etc….

A/N thanks for the reviews…short chappie.

Chapter 21 – What Took You so Long?

Inuyasha was still picking up Kichiro's trail with agonizing slowness when he found out how the bastard had hidden Kagome's smell. Laying on the ground in front of him was an old, damp fur. The inside was covered with Kagome's scent.

"Asshole wrapped her up like an eggroll and hid her scent." He muttered to himself. As he stood there, however, he realized that now, finally, he could smell her. He could follow her scent trail as clearly as if someone had drawn him a map.

It scared him to death.

This Kichiro had gone to a lot of trouble to hide his trail, but he'd never destroyed it. He could have covered it with other smells, wrapped himself up in something the same way he'd done to Kagome. He could have left her scent hidden until he and his captive were completely untrackable. The way Kichiro had done it said that he wanted Inuyasha to be slowed, but not stopped. The only reason Inuyasha could think of for him to leave the fur here was – not good. Likely, it was to let him know that whatever was going to happen, it didn't even matter that Inuyasha would be able to find Kagome. Because either Inuyasha wasn't strong enough to stop what was going to happen…or he'd be too late to stop it.

"Kagome." he said grimly, and started sprinting along her trail, desperately hoping. Maybe he'd been quicker, better than that damned cat had thought. Maybe he'd be on time to save Kagome, to keep her alive, to keep her whole. _Please._

As the scent veered onto a familiar trail, Inuyasha spat. "You son of a bitch, you took her to your house? Fucking cocky bastard…" he leapt along the trail, following her scent into the house and down a set of stairs to a heavy door. He slammed the door open, sprinting in, ready to kill and rend and tear…

Kagome looked up, dazed, from a pile of dark fur on the opposite side of the open room, naked as the day she was born. A large bruise covered her left shoulder and her wrists were bruised and abraded: they'd obviously been tied at one point. Kichiro was absent, and considering the state of his scent, it looked like he hadn't been gone long. Inuyasha stopped, his hands dropping to his sides, useless.

Alive. She was still alive. That fucker hadn't killed her. He closed his eyes a moment, trying to let that thought sink in. Gods, he'd been so certain he would find her already dead, terrified she'd been left bloody and cold, gone forever. He tried to readjust to the idea that she was still here with him. Kagome was alive!

But…

He opened his eyes, looking again at her nude body, stiffening as he realized what it meant. He wanted to weep and howl and find that fucking bastard and rip him to shreds inch by inch. Because there was only one reason he could think of for the cat to have stripped her and not still be in the room.

Kichiro must have already taken what he wanted…

"Oh, Kagome…" he whispered brokenly. "Oh Gods, I…"

"Inuyasha?" she asked softly. He crept over slowly, his heart ripped out of his chest, cursing softly under his breath as he came.

"…hell-spawned, cock-sucking, roach-fucking... castrate that son of a bitch with a dull rock…" He shut up as he reached her and gathered her carefully in his arms, holding her tightly.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have gotten here sooner. I should have been faster. Kagome, I'm so sorry." Inuyasha mumbled in a shattered voice, his hand stroking her hair like a child's. "I'm so sorry."

He heard her mumble something against his chest and flinched, loosening his hold to hear whatever curses or recriminations she was about to heap on his head.

"Why?" she asked, her eyes a little hazy.

"He hid his trail and … there's no excuse. I was too slow…" she held a finger up to his lips to stop him.

"No. Why are you sorry?"

"Why? I should have protected you! Instead, that bastard raped you and I-"

"He did?"

"-wasn't even around to protect you! I- what?"

"You mean that man? No…no he didn't _rape_ me. I'd remember something like that. No…that didn't happen." Her eyes crossed a moment as she obviously thought hard. "Uh uh. Nope. He didn't rape me. I'm glad your eyes are back to normal, Inuyasha. What took you so long? I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and …" Inuyasha looked down at Kagome, worried. Chatting like they were sitting around the campfire, as though she wasn't naked, wasn't in danger, hadn't been attacked. As though everything she said made total sense. Was she in shock? Had that fucking cat broken her mind?

He pressed his palm against her cheek as he looked into her dark eyes. "Kagome, it's all right. It's not your fault. It's my fault. You don't have to hide it."

Brow crinkling in confusion, she burbled. "I'm not hiding anything. That man didn't rape me. He was going to…maybe? I know he was…he was definitely coming on to me. I remember that. And then…and then he said he was you, and then he said we were married, and then…he left." She nodded emphatically. "He was talking and bowing and then he left. He's not here anymore. He left."

"But, Kagome, your clothes…" he glanced over at her school uniform piled next to the furs.

She yawned slightly, leaning her head on his arm and rubbing against him slightly, "I got hot."

"You got hot." He repeated slowly. She nodded, pleased he understood. She didn't _seem_ broken, he thought to himself. Confused, not making sense in the slightest, but it was more like…actually, it reminded him a lot of how she'd been after all that sake on their wedding day. Well shit, that Fucking Asshole had doped her up on something! "You got hot so _you_ took off all your clothes in the house of some utter stranger who just raped you?"

"Who _didn't_ rape me. And it's not like he was here anymore, anyway." She said calmly. He looked at her for a moment and then focused on his nose. Rubbing his face on her hair, he scowled as it reeked of cat, but he finally felt something loosening inside as he realized there wasn't anything further. There was no smell of cat coming from her bare skin, no musky reek of sex, no blood. He didn't know what had happened, but she was right, Kichiro hadn't taken her. The only thing was… Kagome's scent was rather aroused.

"Kagome, are you…are you turned on right now?" he asked in a surprised voice.

"Mmmm hmmm." She purred, stretching in his arms and reaching up to pull his unresisting head down for a kiss. Shocked golden eyes stared into hers as she aggressively thrust her tongue into his mouth. He was still for a moment before he thrust back fiercely, bruising her lips. When Kagome finally pulled her head away, she looked at him curiously, touching her slightly abused lips.

"I thought I lost you." He said harshly, pulling her in close, gripping her tightly for a long moment, "but we need to go now, Kagome. We need to get you away from here, okay?" If Kichiro hadn't done what he'd first intended, he could be back any time now. Maybe he'd been waiting for whatever drugs he'd used to take affect. Or maybe he was simply waiting for Inuyasha to come out with Kagome before jumping them both, thinking Inuyasha would be preoccupied. His hackles wouldn't stay down as he wondered where the cat might be. He needed to get her out of here.

"Kagome? Come on, we need to get going." He said softly, and she smiled and patted his back. Then he felt tugging on his suikan and pushed her away from him for a moment, trying hard not to look below her face.

Fine, be noble, said his conscience. But let me tell you, _I'm_ looking until someone comes and pokes out my eyes.

_This is serious. We don't have time for this._

We won't have time for this when we're dead and in our grave. Right now…Kagome is hot.

Inuyasha shook away his thoughts. "Kagome, what are you doing?" he asked, keeping his voice soft, trying to be considerate.

"You have too many clothes on. Take 'em off." She mumbled.

YES, MA'AM! His conscience saluted.

_Shut the fuck up!_

"Kagome, we're not safe here, remember? We need to go?" he said, his voice strained from the effort it was taking to keep it calm. She doesn't know what she's saying, she doesn't know what she's saying, he repeated to himself, carefully pushing her hands away from his clothing.

She reached back over immediately. "…too many clothes. You should take them off. Much prettier that way…"

"No, Kagome." His voice trembled with the effort stay nice, stay gentle…don't scare her after she's been through something like this!

"You should take off your clothes." Grab, push away.

"No, Kagome." Have…to stay…calm.

"You take off your clothes right now, Inuyasha!" she ordered, glaring at him.

"I am not fucking getting naked in this goddamn cat's house! Kagome, you idiot, let go already!" he yanked her hands from around his waist, at a total loss why she was suddenly smiling widely.

"You called me an idiot." She said happily, "I knew it was you."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he growled. This was driving him crazy! She'd been kidnapped and…maybe other things…and now, when he still had to get her somewhere safe and protected, NOW is when she decided to get amorous and loopy? Fucking cat and his stupid ass drugs…

"I want to see you naked!" she said crossly, ignoring his voice, pulling at his clothing again. She reached around and he felt her squeeze his butt.

He turned bright red, pushing at her hands. "Kagome! This isn't the place! You…Kagome!" he gave a startled yelp as she reached down and cupped his privates through his clothes. "Not here, Kagome! That tomcat could be back any time now, we need to get you to safety…Kagome!" She had tightened her grip around him and tugged slightly. He forced himself to remove her hand with an effort of will he didn't even know he possessed.

"Oy, that's just cruel, Kagome. We can't do that now! I need to get you safe, and then kill that cat, and then… Shit, just hold onto that thought, okay? When we're safe, you can…I'd love it if you. Dammit, just hold onto that thought!" he said, laying her on the furs for a moment and taking off his suikan.

"There, see, now just take off the yukata." She said happily.

"This is for you, dummy!" Inuyasha said, wrapping it around her.

"But my clothes are right here!"

"Are you going to put them on?" he asked, reaching over to grab her top and skirt.

She frowned, glaring at him cross-eyed again. "No. You're no fun at all. Okay for you to do it but when I try to… big cheater. And this is too scratchy, take it off!" she said, pushing at the red cloth bundled messily around her.

"That's what I thought." He growled softly, scowling, wondering exactly what Kagome might have tried to do to Kichiro if she was acting this way towards him. He shook his head, trying not to think about it: it wasn't her fault. Whatever had happened, it was all that fucking cat's fault. He just needed to get her away from here for now and deal with the rest later. Although, if the affects didn't wear off by the time she was safe, maybe that wouldn't be _too_ bad, he thought, gulping as she tried to reach for his groin again. Kagome was awfully damn sexy...

"We need to get back to Sango and Mirkou, Kagome." He said gruffly, scooping her up and trying to keep her from pushing off the suikan at the same time, her clothes hanging from one hand. "and then…there's gonna be one less cat in the village pretty damn soon." He paused at the doorway, scenting the air for any ambush before he sped up the stairs with her, tucking her head under his chin as he ran, his hand periodically gripping tighter, just to make sure she was still there. She was actually all right.

"Don't forget to take off your clothes when we get there." Kagome reminded him in a grumpy voice.


	22. Ch 22 Strength Alone

Disclaimer: don't own inuyasha, rights to it, make money off of it, etc…

**A/N Okay, Lemon ahead. **

Chapter 22 – Strength Alone

Although Shippou had wanted to stay near Sango in their room in the headman's home, Miroku persuaded him to take Kirara and try to get some sleep with the two older daughters, as he'd originally arranged.

"She's breathing easily, Shippou, see?" he told the frightened little fox. "Her heartbeat is strong and regular; she's just in a deep sleep. I don't think we're going to lose her, so there's no need for you to have a sleepless night because of this. Go and rest." The little boy gave Sango a hard hug around her middle before reluctantly going off.

As far as the headman was concerned, Sango was simply feeling unwell. Miroku had reconsidered asking the village for help as they were returning from the springs. He wasn't entirely certain how complicit the villagers might be with whatever Kirchiro had planned, especially considering the good words they'd had to say about him, so he thought it would be best to keep the situation as private as possible. Once they'd arrived and settled her on the futon, he'd noticed Sango's breathing seemed to be calm and not deteriorating. She ran no fever, showed no signs of illness or injury: he truly _did_ think she was simply asleep. He just wasn't entirely sure.

It was tempting to keep the kistune near, in case the villagers weren't as innocent as they seemed, but he very much wanted to be alone with Sango. He needed some time to recover, in private, and if he was counting on Kirara to do a little more than her share in watching out for Shippou, hopefully the cat would forgive him. He just wanted a few moments…

Sliding his arm underneath Sango's shoulders, he scooped her into a sitting position and pulled her onto his lap. He was savoring the feel of her warm body against his, gripping her closely, when he felt something wet fall onto his hand. Looking up for a moment for a leak in the roof, he slowly realized that the water had dripped from his own face. He felt another tear slip down his cheek and reached up to rub it away quickly. She was all right. She would wake up soon. There was no reason for tears.

"Idiot." He mumbled to himself, wiping his eyes covertly again, cursing slightly. "Sango, I'm afraid you're going to need to wake up quite soon. Your husband is in serious danger of turning into a complete wreck, love. You wouldn't want that to happen, now would you?" She didn't stir and he sighed, burying his face in her hair as he continued to hold her. Just for a little longer…

When he eventually laid her back to rest on the futon, he knelt next to her quietly, keeping vigil as she slept. He'd waited barely half an hour when she finally started to stir. She yawned once, her face grimacing, and slowly raised her hands above her head in a slow stretch before opening her eyes to find Miroku hovering directly above her, half naked.

"Aaaah!" she yelled, and slapped him.

He fell back onto his butt, rubbing his cheek and grinning like an idiot. "You're awake." He said in an odd tone, to her mind.

"Of course I'm awake! What are you doing, you hentai?" she yelled, staring in shock at his smooth, bare chest and the untidy cloth tied around his hips. The muscles beneath his pale chest flexed as he pushed himself up and she swallowed, unable to look away. She'd never seen his chest before, and she had to admit it was rather amazing. Completely hairless and smooth, ripples traveling down his flat stomach. The dark cloth around his hips hugged it closely and she gaped, seeing muscular shoulders tapering down to those slim hips for the first time. Compared to his usual sillouette, it was pretty…surprising.

Suddenly, a thought intruded on her admiration and she tore her eyes away from his exposed body. "Wait…How did I get here? I was at the hot springs! What the heck is going on, Houshi? And where are your clothes!" she asked, confused, suspicious and nervous at the same time.

Miroku sighed, "Shippou found you unconscious at the hot springs and came to get us. We're fairly sure Kichiro drugged you and Kagome both." He watched her gaze studiously avoiding his bare skin and smiled slightly, in spite of the circumstances. "And as for my clothes? Well, I didn't have a lot of time to worry about dressing, my dear, when Shippou came to get us."

Sango focused on him more fully as his words truly penetrated. "Kichiro?" she asked, surprised. "The same Kichiro who was grabbing Inuyasha's butt?" at Miroku's nod, she frowned, "Why that sneaky little low-life. I hope Inuyasha and Kagome left some of him for me, I'll make him regret ever doing anything to…" she stopped, noticing that Miroku was now avoiding her eye.

"What? What is it?"

"No one's found him yet. Sango…he took Kagome. Inuyasha left to find her but so far he hasn't returned."

"He took Kagome! What are we waiting here for, then? We should be out there helping Inuyasha find her!" she started to get up, but Miroku pushed lightly on her shoulders, broke her balance, and knocked her back down onto the futon.

"_You_ are not going anywhere." He said forcefully. "You're awake now, but we don't know if you are completely recovered from whatever Kichiro drugged you with. There is no way I am permitting you to go after Kagome right now." He went on, ignoring Sango's startled, angry protests, "If they haven't come back within the hour, and you seem to be free from any ill affects, then we may go and try to help find Kagome ourselves."

"Get your hands off of me, Houshi! You can't tell me what to do, you…"

"I can, and I will. You're my wife, Sango. You may not need my protection most of the time, but when I can protect you, I will!"

Slapping his hands away from her and sitting up, she turned away from him, "Get out of my way. I'm going to go help…aaaagh!" she yelled as Miroku grabbed both her arms, forcing them up behind her back into a hold he could maintain with one arm. Sitting on her bottom, Sango was having problems getting the leverage she needed to take the pressure off her arms, especially as Miroku pulled them up painfully as she tried to move. "Let go, Monk! If you don't let me up right now, I am going to stomp you so hard you'll have footprints on your spleen!"

"Sango, do you know how many times in the past few days people have told me how strong you are?" he asked in a conversational tone, ignoring her outburst as he kept her arms twisted behind her, "For some reason, almost everyone has been feeling the need to warn me about your skills and abilities lately. I'll be honest, it's actually starting to irritate my nerves."

"It's not that I disagree, mind you." he continued, still seemingly oblivious to her curses as she struggled to get free, "They are correct after all: your physical strength _is _quite impressive. However, there's something that everyone seems to forget…" the heat from his chest burned against the thin sleeve of her top as he leaned forward, turning his face to look into hers, a small smile playing around his lips, "…strength alone does not ensure victory in battle."

She glared sideways at him, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that while we may be almost evenly matched in strength, it's more important to remember that I have more cunning, I have more experience…and I'm willing to cheat to get what I want." Miroku concluded, pulling on her arms a second so that she gasped slightly at the pain, and then taking advantage of her open lips to kiss her deeply, curling around her side and cupping her chin with his free hand. He plunged his tongue into her mouth desperately, reaffirming to himself that she was still here, awake, alive…angry as a wet cat.

He pulled back, his hand gently releasing her chin, smiling as she struggled to get free and do him some serious bodily injury. He couldn't control the absolute euphoria he was getting just seeing the anger in her eyes as she glared at him. Sango, spitting in fury, out for his blood, full of fire, so different from the pale shadow she'd so recently been that it made him want to kiss her all over again.

"I need you to promise me you'll stay here until I feel that it's safe for you to help search for Kagome." He said, leaning his head lightly against her own.

I can't lose you…

She fumed, licking her lips unconsciously as she yanked her head away. "Kiss my ass, Houshi."

"Oh, I plan to." He said with a cheerful tone, feeling a bit giddy still with seeing her awake and in good fighting form, "but for now…the promise?" When she simply turned her head away from him to stare angrily at the wall, he sat up straighter and continued rather firmly, "Sango, if I have to bind you to ensure you remain safe and uninjured, trust me…I will do so. Again…will you promise?"

She grit her teeth for a moment and then spat out. "Fine, I promise."

"You promise what, exactly?"

"That I'll stay here until you say it's all right to leave, you stupid monk, now let go!"

"I'd be happy to." He said, instantly releasing her arms, and getting an elbow in his bare stomach almost immediately afterwards. "Oof."

She leapt up, and turned, spoiling for a fight. Her cheeks flushed slightly as she realized she was only dressed in her light juban, but she shook off her embarrassment quickly and kicked out at him. He rolled to the side to avoid it and stood up himself, facing her, ready but obviously not concerned.

"I said I wouldn't leave the room, but you're definitely going to pay for making me give such a stupid promise, you baka!"

"Isn't that just a little bit childish? I never knew you were such a sore loser, Sango." He chided, grinning in anticipation, and she growled.

"You are such a jerk, houshi." She charged him, hitting and kicking wildly, growing more and more frustrated as he managed to block whatever attacks he wasn't dodging outright.

"All this exercise seems to be affecting my attire somewhat, Sango." He said as his ill-secured robes slipped a fraction lower on his hips, revealing his hip bones and another strip of flat, muscular stomach. "Are you sure you aren't doing this out of a deep seated need to get me naked?" he teased.

She snarled and attacked him more recklessly. He was confining himself to defending only, and she was frustrated to realize that she _was_ feeling some affects of whatever had been given to her. Her movements felt just a little bit too sluggish, her balance betraying her when she extended too far. As she attacked, however, she grew so used to his defensive posture that when he finally retaliated, hitting towards her chest, she didn't react quickly enough to get up her guard. He slowed just before contact and turned it into a groping squeeze rather than a punch. She squeaked and froze for a moment, giving him the opportunity to sweep her legs out from under her, and in moments he had her pinned face down on her futon.

"You should have remembered, I cheat." He said softly, laughing even as he panted from his exertions. "Sango, life is _definitely_ never going to be boring around you." He chuckled, smiling down at the back of her head.

"You're life isn't going to last long enough to _find that out _if you don't let me up!" she said fiercely, trying to turn so she could glare at him properly.

He looked down at her. He had her hands behind her back again as he laid over her, supporting his upper body with his one free hand, his lower body covering hers. As she struggled, her loose hair was falling down into her face, exposing the back of her neck, and he stared at it. For some reason, he'd always found the small patch of skin at the back of her neck absolutely fascinating, almost obsessively so. It seemed so vulnerable and soft, so often hidden beneath her hair that the sight of it had become curiously titillating. Especially considering that he usually only saw it when she was at her most fierce, battling demons, it seemed odd to have that strip of pale skin exposed, without protection. Unable to draw his gaze away from the silky skin, he let himself give into temptation. Just for a moment, he thought.

His head dropped slowly towards her and he let his tongue caress her skin just above the neckline of her juban. She stopped moving immediately.

"Houshi! What are you doing? D-don't _lick_ me!" she ordered in a high, squeaky voice.

"Why not?" he murmured against her skin as he felt her whole body shudder slightly. "Don't you like it?" He used his tongue again to gently taste the back of her neck

"N-no! No, I hate it!"

He smiled indulgently as he let the flat of his tongue rasp across her soft, downy nape once more just to produce that lovely shiver again. "Little liar." He chuckled.

"Houshi! S-stop it!" she said faintly, her head falling forward limply at the continuing, focused sensual onslaught.

"Soon, Sango. Just give me a moment." He said absently, concentrating on her hair as he nuzzled it, stroking his cheek across the silky strands cascading into her face. Moving his hips slightly, he rubbed himself against her, smiling as she arched backwards convulsively. "You like that, hmmm?" he inquired, pressing forward with a slow thrusting motion.

Sango sucked in her breath, unable to stop herself from pressing back against him again as he withdrew and thrust, prevented from becoming more intimate by the barrier of her clothing.

"Houshi-sama…" she breathed out as he thrust hard for a moment, causing enough pressure that she felt a pleasurable warmth seeping up into her belly.

Miroku stopped himself with an effort, breathing hard. He lifted his hips from her, knowing that once again he'd pushed as far as he should, but made the mistake of letting his eyes look at her bottom one last time. He stared, mesmerized. The one part of Sango's body that he could never, probably not even on pain of death, resist. When she arched back just slightly, looking for the pressure that was no longer there, he gave up.

He was turning out to be much more weak-willed around Sango than he would have thought, but still…

"I really have no willpower where you're concerned, Sango." He said softly, confusing her for a moment, and released her hands. She rolled over slowly, looking up at him, uncertain as he leaned over her.

"Houshi?"

He smiled, brushing her hair back from her face. "Would you care to dance, Sango?"

"What?"

"I would really, really, love to dance with you." he murmured, and leaned forward, kissing her deeply. Mouth tingling, shocks running up and down her body, she sighed and finally gave in and kissed him back. It felt so good. Just this once, she thought, she wanted to take something for herself. And she wanted this so badly…

Miroku opened up her neckline, peeling her juban down her arms and then off completely, leaving it laying underneath her. Sango laid on the futon, staring up at him wide eyed as he reached for his own clothing. Chucking his waist wrapped robes with impressive speed, Miroku paused a moment to stare at her breasts. Have they always been that big? He thought to himself, awed. He reached down, cupping both of them in his palms, rubbing his thumbs over their tips and watching them peak even more. A rosy blush spread from her cheeks down to her soft, flat belly and he smiled, leaning down to taste the bounty within his palms. If he had his way, by the time they were done, he wouldn't have to wonder what _any_ part of Sango tasted like. He kissed his way down her belly slowly, running his hands along her hips as he went, squeezing gently.

Sango lay almost in shock, clenching the futon underneath her with her fists as she arched upwards towards his soft, wet…Oh Dear Gods that felt Goood….mouth. The bare skin of his legs rubbing against hers, she felt his breath against her curls and tensed, but he simply moved downwards and knelt between her legs, pushing them slightly apart.

"Miroku-sama?" she asked breathlessly, "Wha- what are you doing?"

"Just paying homage." He said in a slightly hoarse voice, pressing on her knees slightly to open her up beneath him further. She saw him lean down, felt him bite her lightly just above her knee, and jumped, trying to close her legs.

"Ah ah, now, Sango." He chided, pushing more firmly on her knees to keep her in place. "We haven't even begun the best part." His mouth moved up her thigh an inch at a time, licking gently at the pale skin that grew silkier the higher he went.

"Miroku!" her voice wavered as his mouth reached his goal and she reached down, grabbing his hair in both hands. "Miroku!" she squealed slightly and pulled hard, managing to yank his head back.

He sighed slightly and reached back to extricate his hair from her hands. "Ow." He rubbed his head, pushing up to sit back on his heels as he looked down at her. "I hadn't thought about that part of having a strong partner." He murmured to himself, and then smiled wickedly. "I think I can fix this." He reached down and suddenly flipped Sango over onto her stomach.

She pushed up on her arms and looked back over her shoulders at him, questioning. "Houshi? We aren't going to…"

"Don't worry, Sango. I just recalled, I promised to 'kiss your ass,' didn't I? I wouldn't want to start off our marriage by breaking such an important promise as that…" he trailed off, finally staring down at her bare bottom. Sango, seeing him staring and feeling much more self-conscious than when she'd been laying on her back, blushed fiercely again and tried to get up. He put a hand on the small of her back and pressed gently.

"Sango…I really, truly don't think you want to turn over right now. Trust me, eh?" he said, pushing hard enough to finally press her torso back onto the futon. She was about to ignore him and push up any way when he framed her ass within his hands and…well, kissed her ass, just as he'd said.

She felt his lips moving along the rounded fullness of her bottom and writhed slightly, grabbing the futon and burying her face in it. That stupid man is a good kisser _everywhere!_ She thought, sharp pinpricks of painful pleasure collecting where her breasts were pressed into the bedding. He caught a bit of plump flesh between his teeth and bit again lightly.

"Ow!"

"I'll kiss it better, shall I?" he said, laughing as he kissed her bottom again, drawing back to simply look at it. Round and flushed and framing that amazing center he couldn't wait to explore…he hardened further and swallowed loudly. "Sango, you are simply…." He couldn't think of the words, once again hypnotized by the sight of her fantastic, amazing, softness.

"There is something I've wanted to do for quite some time, Sango." He said quietly after a minute of simply drinking in the image of her laying before him, naked and aroused.

Before she could gather up her thoughts enough to ask what, he was moving his hands onto the cheeks of her bottom, sliding them down between her legs, and caressing her gently.

"Miroku!" she keened as he pressed in carefully. He groaned, feeling himself twitch as she slid restlessly against his hands. When Sango grew more frantic beneath him, he started to twitch again and impatiently turned her over onto her back again.

She stared up at him, the now familiar flush filling her cheeks as she looked on his naked body, and he smiled.

"Are you ready now?" he asked softly, moving to cover her.

"Ready?" she asked unsteadily, still quivering between her legs as she felt him, hot and hard, pressing against her .

"Ready to dance, remember?" he asked, teasing, taking her lips in his as he carefullly thrust forward and entered her. Just when Sango felt the beginning of a sharp pain deep inside, he bit her lip lightly and thrust hard at the same time. She mewed against his lips at the pain.

"Shhhhh, I know it hurt, Sango." He said, licking the lip he'd just abused." All done now, though. It only gets better, I promise."

He held still as long as he could, but simply feeling Sango under him, around him, was driving him crazy. He started thrusting almost against his will.

"Aaaah, Sango, I…" He couldn't stop himself! He couldn't…she felt so damn tight! He continued pushing into her harder and faster, some small part of his brain noticing that she was pushing back at him, meeting his thrusts as they moved together.

Sango screamed Miroku's name as she convulsed and Miroku came himself with a hoarse cry. He slumped on top of her, trying to support his weight on his hands. It was all he could do to keep from completely collapsing on top of her, his arms shaking in reaction. He hadn't expected, hadn't even dreamed…

Trying to regain his senses, still shaking, Miroku felt completely stunned. He'd lost control. He couldn't believe it. He _never_ lost control. He'd never been so desperate for a woman that he'd put his own pleasure over her own. It made him feel ashamed and at the same time he was immensely grateful that Sango, his wonderful, sensual Sango, enjoyed it so much that she'd still peaked even after he'd been unable to assist. And he hadn't even lasted a full five minutes! Laying there on top of her, he didn't think he'd ever been so happy and so embarrassed in his life.

Sango lay under him, panting. That…that had to be one of the most intimate, amazing things she'd ever experienced in her life. They'd both fallen forward as they'd achieved that fantastic convulsion, and even with him holding himself slightly off of her, she could feel his heavy weight pressing on her pleasurably. As her breathing slowed, however, her brain began to work again, and she closed her eyes, trying desperately to stay in the rosy afterglow of making love with Miroku. Please, just a few more minutes to savor this rare feeling of peace, she begged herself.

It didn't help. Her brain was already dealing with the consequences. What was she going to do now? He still covered her completely in his scent and his warmth from their lovemaking. He'd gotten what he wanted: she could see now exactly why he seemed to pursue it wherever they went. It was absolutely unbelievable. She was amazed he didn't pursue it more, now that she knew what it involved, how it felt.

But how long until he tired of _their_ intimacy, until he tired of her, and went to other women for this very same thing? Would he even wait past the next village, she wondered, pain crushing her, squeezing her heart into bits. Tears leaked slowly out of her eyes. Gods, it was going to be so much worse now. It was going to be so much harder to leave, now that she'd shared this with him. Why had he pursued her so assiduously? Why couldn't he have just given up trying to seduce her so that she could have left him with at least some of her heart still intact?

"Why didn't you just leave me alone?" she asked quietly, despairing, and she felt him stiffen above her.

Miroku stilled, the genuine sorrow in her voice penetrating. Pushing himself up, he looked down to see tears running across her face. "Sango…" he didn't know what to do. She looked completely defeated. Why? Was it something he had done? "Sango, please, don't cry. What's wrong? Please, what's wrong?" he rubbed a tear from her face with his thumb, frowning and worried.

She watched him look at her with such concern in his eyes that it made her cry harder. Why did she always try to fool herself? He was such a good man. Even though he _was_ a lech, he was still devoted and compassionate, and she loved him so much it was killing her. "Why did you have to do this?" she sobbed. "I would have been able to leave if you'd just left me alone! I would have been able to leave…. "

"Leave? I don't want you to leave!" he frowned more deeply.

"But you don't want me to stay, either! You just wanted…you just wanted a woman. And I can't stand to see you when you decide it's time to get another one, houshi, I just can't…" her voice broke. "Why didn't you just leave me alone!"

Understanding finally dawned and Miroku smiled tenderly and used his palm to brush her hair out of her eyes. "Why didn't I leave you alone?" he repeated, and sighed softly. "I wish I could give you some deep, meaningful answer, but the truth is that I'm just not that strong. I'm no where near strong enough to resist you, Sango. It's not that surprising though, is it?" He asked, still smiling as he kissed her forehead. "After all, how often can a man resist the woman he loves?"

Underneath him, Sango's tears slowed as her eyes stared into his, shocked.

"What did you just say?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"I said that I love you, Sango." Miroku said gently, then leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose playfully, wiping away the remaining tears.

"But…but you can't. I mean, the women and the groping and…you just married me to help out a friend, houshi! You don't love me!" she said, frantically. It was too much to hope for. He couldn't really…

He smiled crookedly at her. "Sometimes, the fates give us a chance at something we weren't expecting to achieve in this lifetime." He looked at her seriously for a moment, "I thought I'd lost you, Sango. I am not such an idiot to ignore that blatant a reminder on the fleeting nature of life. I don't want to lose any more of the time we have left, love. I'm not that stupid. I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love."

She continued to watch him, looking terrified, and he caressed her lips briefly with his own.

"Sango, I swear to you, I will not stray. I will not betray you, I will not betray my vows. I have no desire for any other woman but you." He finished in a whisper. "Can you not give this marriage a chance? Please? Give me a chance to prove myself, Sango, that's all I ask."

She stared up at him, eyes huge and uncertain.

"Sango?" he prompted, leaning his forehead on hers carefully, staring intently into her eyes as his own once again twinkled a little. "Please? Who else can I count on to slap me when it's truly called for? I need you, Sango."

Her eyes grew a bit misty. "Stupid houshi." She murmured, smiling slightly. She watched him intently as though she was trying to look into his soul, and finally nodded slowly. "A chance, then." She said softly.

"And?" he asked, suddenly somewhat uncertain, "Is there anything you wish to tell me of…your own feelings?"

She bit her lip, could she tell him? She looked into his eyes again, seeing nothing but sincerity and worry. "I love you so much I could die from it,." She whispered brokenly. "But Houshi, the other women…"

"…are a part of my past, and not my future." he reiterated firmly, a happy smile slowly breaking out on his face.

"Yes, but…"

"Sango, if nothing else right now, can you at least trust that I'm selfish enough to want every ounce of enjoyment I can get out of this life? Over the last few months, it's become very clear that there _is_ no enjoyment in life without you. "

She finally nodded, flushing as she continued to stare at him with wondering eyes. Miroku loved her?

Leaning over her, he smirked slightly. "You know, we still have a while before your hour is up. Would you like me to help you pass the rest of the time, as well?"

"Hentai." Sango said, biting back a watery smile and smacking him in the arm, He laughed again.

"Fine, we can talk. Although I honestly believe the other way would be quite a bit more enjoyable." She scowled and flushed at the same time, but when he sat up and looked down at himself, she smiled to herself at his grimace.

"Actually, I suppose we'll need to be spending some time cleaning ourselves up first, hmmm? Somehow, Sango, you make me forget about everything else. How do you do that?"

She blushed, shrugging, and he walked across the room, completely at home with his nude body, bringing back a small bowl of water with a cloth from the opposite side. When he began using the damp cloth, she started talking nervously.

"Miroku, " she blurted, "Do –do you really want to stay here when Kagome may be in danger?"

"No, but I'd rather that than put you into danger as well." He said, "I can tell you're not completely recovered, Sango. Let us just wait a little while here, until you are up to your usual, fearless, demon slaying self, and then we can be of actual help to our friends, yes?"

After a frustrated sigh, Sango nodded. Only Miroku would be worried about the exertions of a fight and yet somehow believe that lovemaking wouldn't be dangerous. Lech, she thought fondly, and let Miroku carefully finish cleaning her, albeit blushing madly the entire time. He took care of himself with much less fanfare before assisting her in readjusting her wrinkled yukata and wrapping his cloth around his hips once more. After he sat down next to her, one hand reached over to softly stroke her hair as she leaned against him.

"Soon, Sango. We'll go search for Kagome soon." He said, and prayed under his breath for Inuyasha to return before it became necessary.


	23. Ch 23 I Think I'm Still in Shock

Disclaimer, don't own anything related to Inuyasha's rights to anything, don't make a dime.

**A/N LEMON in this chapter, yea! Finally, Inuyasha gets to be a happy, happy hanyou. Yee ha.**

**So again: LEMON warning**

**1 new terms:**

**Fundoshi – a type of Japanese loincloth, basically. Which you should _totally_ look up on the web. Have to say, researching the visual images of how these things tie on was the most fun I've had in a while, hee hee.**

Chapter 23 – I Think I'm Still in Shock 

Miroku and Sango both sat up straight on the futon at the same time, a familiar angry voice slowly growing louder as they listened. Miroku jumped up, turning to give an unnecessary hand to Sango who was already half-way to the door.

Slammed to the side before either of them reached it. Inuyasha stomped through the doorway, hair sticking out wildy around his head, white kimono askew, red hakama drooping to the side.

"Dammit, Kagome, will you stop already?" he growled to the small red bundle in his arms just as pale arms reached up and grabbed his hair. "Kagome, ow, cut it out!" As Sango and Miroku watched, Kagome pulled herself up by his hair and kissed him, aggressively plunging her tongue into his mouth, drawing it across the tips of his fangs. "Kagome…" he groaned against her mouth, and then grabbed her hands one at a time as he juggled her weight, pulling them away from his hair.

"Son of a bitch…" he breathed out heavily, holding her arms to her sides as he held her. There was only so much a man could be expected to take, Fuckin' A.

I agree, so why don't you take_ her_? said his conscience, panting slightly. You've _taken_ everything else she's dished out in the past few minutes, just add Kagome to the list!

_Will you back off? Damn pervert, you're worse than Miroku!_

Miroku's eyebrows were almost up past his hairline as he watched. Of all the possible scenarios he'd envisioned upon Inuyasha's return, a passionate embrace was certainly not one of them. "I take it Kagome is happy to be rescued?" he inquired, smirking slightly.

"Oh fuck you, houshi. That damn cat drugged her up. She's been all over me since I found her!"

Miroku's smiled faded a little. He'd drugged her again? And with something that made her act like this…

Inuyasha stopped moving and nostrils flared momentarily as the musky smell of recent sex assailed him.

"Oh, that's just fucking great! I've been fighting off Kagome this entire time, and you two decide this is the perfect time to get it on?! Shit, Miroku, can't you control yourself, you freakin' lech?" he growled, the smell of their recent activities sending his own arousal skyrocketing again. For once, Miroku actually blushed redder than Sango.

"That damn nose…" he heard Miroku mutter as Sango covered her hot face with her hands.

"It's not my fucking fault if you can't remember I'm better than a human, hentai. Dammit, did you have to…"

"Just drop it, Inuyasha." Miroku said, still red. He sighed, rubbing the back of neck, "Here, why don't you put Kagome down and…" Miroku's eyes sharpened a moment as he noticed Kagome's school uniform dangling from Inuyasha's hand and realized that Inuyasha's suikan was actually Kagome's sole covering. His stomach sank and he felt queasy. Naked? Did that mean that Inuyasha hadn't arrived on time? The thought that Kagome was likely being raped while he and Sango enjoyed themselves made him want to throw up. Somehow, he'd never truly thought that Inuyasha wouldn't succeed.

"Inuyasha, I'm so sorry." He whispered, staring at Kagome's form cradled in Inuyasha's arms. Hearing Miroku's tone of voice, Sango uncovered her face, looking at Inuyasha worriedly. When she reached the same conclusions as Miroku, she clutched her stomach, tears gathering in her eyes.

"Kagome. Oh Kagome, " she breathed and then went directly over to Inuyasha, "Here, bring her over here." She said to him, gesturing to a second futon against the wall. She just prayed Kagome could get through this: she was so kind-hearted and full of life. How could someone do this to her!? Fury started to overtake her but she pushed it away. She'd have Inuyasha tell her every detail of how slowly and painfully Kichiro had died after she settled Kagome in.

Inuyasha stared at them both as he carried Kagome over to the mat. "Did I miss something? Who died all of a sudden?" Jeez, they both looked like there were about to fucking cry. Aw crap, was it the sex comment? He reached the futon and looked at Sango's damp eyes. "Uh, look, I don't really care what you guys wanna do together, right? You don't have to cry about it or anything, okay? Okay?"

She barely looked at him as he settled Kagome on the mat. "It's not the rude comments, Inuyasha." She said softly. "It's realizing what happened to Kagome. I never thought someone could do this to her… "

"Do this to her? She's been kidnapped before and you weren't this upset over it!" Sango looked pointedly at the clothing in his hand, "Oh, crap, you think that he raped her. Shit, I forgot about that part." He muttered to himself.

At Sango's offended stare, he held up his hands. "I just forgot what it looks like, that's all! I've been a little occupied trying to get her here and still keep my clothes on, all right!! Shit." He huffed. "She wasn't raped. I don't know what the hell he was doing, but he didn't take her. He just pumped her full of this stupid drug that's making her all loopy and shit."

"Then what happened to her clothing?" asked Miroku suspiciously.

"I got hot." Kagome piped up as she smiled over at him from the futon. Inuyasha hit himself in the forehead with his hand, dragging it through his hair in frustration.

"You got…hot?" Sango asked, confused.

"Yeah, she keeps saying that. Right before she tries to take off all her clothes." He blew out his breath as, right on cue, Kagome started pulling at the edges of his suikan, trying to take it off herself.

"Kagome, leave it alone! Dammit, Miroku's in the fucking room!" he said, grabbing her hands to keep them still.

"You take off yours, then." She ordered him, trying to move closer.

Miroku snorted and Sango bit her lip, blushing slightly. Miroku cleared his throat, "Eh, would you like us to give you two some privacy?" he asked, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his voice serious.

"No!" he pushed Kagome gently back to the futon and turned to face Miroku. "I still have to take care of that bastard Kichiro." It was so fucking unfair! Kagome was more than willing, they had a room, and he wasn't going to be able to do a _damn_ thing because he still had to deal with that stupid fucking cat. He added his intense sexual frustration to the list of reasons why Kichiro was going to die painfully and soon and definitely by his own hands.

"He's not dead yet?" Sango exclaimed, and Inuyasha shook his head. Kagome sat on the futon, leaning against the wall quietly for a moment, so Inuyasha took a few steps over to Miroku and gestured Sango closer.

"He was already gone when I got there." He said quietly to his two friends. "I don't know if he was planning to come back for her, if he was scared off, or if he's planning something else right now. It doesn't make any sense! He kidnapped Kagome, tied her up, drugged her, and then untied her and left her there without doing anything else? There's gotta be more to this."

"Could he be after Naraku as well? Perhaps he's trying to obtain information on his whereabouts and picked the member of our party who seemed most vulnerable." Miroku speculated, "The drugs _do _seem to be loosening her tongue somewhat. Possibly her increased, ahem, libido is merely be a side affect."

"Why wouldn't he have picked Shippou, then?" Sango wondered.

"Well, kids don't usually know jack shit, do they?" Inuyasha said bluntly. "Whatever the hell he was planning, I gotta find that asshole. He's not gonna get a chance to do anything else to Kagome." Miroku and Sango nodded, in complete agreement.

"Inuyasha! Why are you so far away! You're supposed to be over here!" Kagome shouted out, startling them. They all looked over to see her standing on the futon in all her glory, a puddle of red cloth lying on the ground next to her.

"Close your eyes, Houshi!" Sango yelled, smacking Miroku in the face.

"Don't look, you fuckin' lech!" Inuyasha spat at the same time, slamming Miroku's head to the ground moments later.

Miroku lay on the ground, face pressed into the floor, groaning. " For the love of… Give me a moment to turn away from Kagome before you two assume the worst, thank you very much!" he grumbled into the mat. He didn't bother to move for a minute, however, as he heard Inuyasha walk back over to Kagome. He'd just rest for a while until his head stopped pounding quite so badly.

"Kagome, what the hell do you think you're doing! Get some clothes on, for Gods' sake." Inuyasha said, walking towards her.

"Uh uh." She said, shaking her head, tripping and ending up against his chest as he leapt forward to catch her. Finding himself with an armful of pink, naked Kagome, Inuyasha's body responded, happily pressing against her belly as he held her. He couldn't keep his hands from clenching around her soft skin a moment. He didn't know how much more of this he could fucking take!

"Kagome, you've gotta stop this! I have to take care of Kichiro before we can...dammit, will you stop!" he said, grabbing her arms as they went for the ties on his hakama again. "Kagome, that damn cat could come back any time now!"

"He won't," she said to herself, concentrating on trying to reach Inuyasha's buns.

"Kagome, look, I can't protect you from him if we're….shit, if I'm distracted, okay? I have to protect you."

She looked up at him a moment, eyes focusing briefly as she smiled. "It's all right. He doesn't want me anyway. He wants you." Inuyasha stiffened.

"What?"

Miroku raised his head up enough to look sideways up at Sango, checking if he'd just heard right. "Did she just say he wanted _Inuyasha?" _he asked her softly. She nodded. "I guess he _did_ grab him first. But then why…?"

"Actually, he wanted your father, but since he's dead…" Kagome continued absently, still concentrating on Inuyasha's clothes. "Why do you have so many ties…"

Inuyasha stared at her, pushing her hands away by reflex at this point. "Kagome…" he said softly, and then cleared his throat, taking a deep breath. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Kagome's hands stilled and she stared at him in surprise. "Why are you yelling at me?' she asked.

Inuyasha let go of her arms and clenched his hands into fists as he tried, really, really tried, to control his temper. "Kagome, what, the hell, are you talking, about?" he said slowly.

"What?" her eyes started to lose focus slightly again at the sight of his mouth. His tongue had been fantastic last time. He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her slightly.

"Kagome! Did Kichiro tell you what he wanted? Do you remember why he kidnapped you?"

She looked at him, sighing slightly at the feel of his hands on her skin, but a little upset that he kept asking about stuff that didn't matter anymore. He hadn't done anything to her, had he? And now she was here, and Inuyasha was finally here, and why wasn't he doing anything with her?! "Yes." She muttered. Why wouldn't he take off his clothes?

"Well, why? What the hell did he want with you?"

"He wanted to hurt you." she said softly, almost mesmerized by the small v of skin showing at the neckline of his kimono, biting her lip as she imagined tasting it.

"To hurt me? Then why the fuck didn't he fight me when he had the fucking chance? That makes no sense at all!" He was so frustrated that he barely registered Kagome's small hand reaching up to run a finger along the collar of his kimono. "Are you sure he said that?"

"Yeah. It's not so hard to think about things anymore." She said, still enjoying the feel of his hot skin under her finger. She spread her hand slightly, concentrating on letting each part of her hand come into contact with his skin. Inuyasha finally took notice when she slipped her hand inside the kimono and started caressing the muscles of his chest.

"Oy, stop that." He said a little hoarsely, grabbing her hand and pulling it away. "You need to stop, Kagome. I have to find out what the fuck this guy was up to. Why did he take you? What was he planning to do to you?"

Closing her eyes at the feel of Inuyasha's hand holding hers, she sighed. "He said he wanted to see you howl until the day you died, and he said you would if he hurt me, if he treated me like his wife was treated." She stopped a moment and opened her eyes. "Would you? Would you really, if- if something happened to me, would you be sad?"

"Oh Shit, Kagome, of course I- " looking down at her dark brown eyes, he swallowed. "Of course I would. Crap, do you even have to ask?" He took his hand off her shoulder and rubbed it across her cheek. She smiled, eyes tearing up slightly.

"Poor Kichiro. He said that your father's soldiers raped and killed his wife, when he was away from their home. It was so sad. He must have loved her so much…."

Inuyasha looked at her a moment in surprise before he started growling. He let go of her before he hurt her, fighting the urge to howl in frustration. "Oh no, we are not starting this shit again!" he said, pointing a clawed finger at her face.

"huh?" Why wasn't he touching her anymore?

"Some fucking bastard kidnaps you, he plans to _rape_ you, and the next thing you know you're feeling all sorry for him and standing up for him? I will not deal with another Kouga, got it! Crap, you have got to be the most frustrating, naïve, gullible…damn!"

"I'm not!" she said indignantly, stomping her foot, and even as pissed as he was, he couldn't help but appreciate the way her breasts bounced impressively as she did so. Kagome should really argue naked more often.

"Kichiro is a bastard, got it? Not only that, he's a _dead_ bastard, because I am not waiting around for him to come and take you again!"

"He's not going to!"

"Kagome-" Inuyasha warned, trying not to punch something. She should get a freakin' tattoo. Victim here, please take and use at will. Shit.

"He said he was sorry, anyway." She said, her gaze drawn in by his ears twitching on top of his head.

That brought him up short. "What?"

"He said he was sorry. He was talking about revenge and hating you and then…he said he was sorry. He said he was sorry for kidnapping me and stuff, and he promised he wouldn't do anything to me." Her voice grew soft again as she looked down at his face and into his eyes. Beautiful golden eyes, she thought, smiling at him.

Inuyasha just shook his head. "What kind of weirdo is this guy? You don't kidnap someone and plan to kill them and then just…just fucking change your mind! And what hell are you smiling about?"

She shrugged, still smiling, breasts bobbing again as she moved. "He changed his mind." When Inuyasha looked so frustrated that he could kill something, she tried to cheer him up. He was just so cute! "He still hates you, that's something, isn't it?"

"Well I still hate him too, the fucking asshole!"

She frowned a moment, another memory surfacing. "And he said he was leaving and that you could come after him, but you probably wouldn't find him right away."

"So? He's a fucking liar, like I should trust something he says?"

"Inuyasha" Miroku spoke up from the floor. Inuyasha turned quickly to make sure he still wasn't looking and was relieved to find him sitting up, facing the opposite direction. "We may want to rethink this. If he's looking for revenge on you for something your father did, this could be his way of playing with you. It's always possible that he's waiting for you to leave and then he'll take Kagome away again after you're gone. Or he may simply try to sneak in and …well, considering her condition, you can imagine…"

"That's crazy."

"He is part cat demon." Said Sango slowly from her seat near Miroku. "They _are_ known for playing with their victims."

"That's just fucked up." He stood still, uncertain for a moment. He really, really needed to kill Kichiro. _REALLY_ needed to kill him. But Miroku was right too…what if he was just waiting for Inuyasha to leave, giving him a false sense of safety before bringing everything crashing back down again? He wasn't sure he could live through that type of fear all over again. And it wasn't like he could leave Kagome here with _Miroku_ to guard her, not if she was getting all naked and hugging people and shit. And Sango might be good, but Kichiro had already kidnapped Kagome once when she was around. He could probably do it again.

Son of a bitch

"Perhaps we can search for him together, once Kagome is recovered?" suggested Miroku.

Inuyasha struggled to think of another way to do it and couldn't. "Dammit, I wanted to go kill him now." He snarled. "But…yeah, we'd better just guard her tonight and wait until she's better. Shit." He ran a frustrated hand over his ears and through his hair again. Sango and Miroku exchanged glances, smiling at each other.

"Sango and I can take the first watch, Inuyasha." Miroku said. "We'll keep a look out for him outside. Until dawn, I think."

"Yeah, that's fine." Inuyasha muttered, reaching down to grab the suikan from the floor and wrap it around Kagome quickly. "All right, she's decent, you can get out, houshi."

Miroku and Sango grabbed their respective weapons and headed out the door. "See you in the morning." Sang out Miroku as they left, closing the door behind them.

"What the hell is up with him?" muttered Inuyasha to himself.

He's giving you a chance to make love to your wife, you idiot. Said his conscience.

_What?_

Sango and Miroku left to guard you so you could have some time alone with your sexy, naked, horny-as-hell wife and have wild animal sex until dawn. Hell, they even made sure to tell you how long they'd be gone!

_But they don't really think I'd do that NOW, do they? I mean, Kichiro could attack…_

And so could Sesshoumaru, or Naraku, or any one of a gazillion demons who hate your guts. So what? Take the opportunity while you have it, you dumbass.

_But…_

Inuyasha, _his conscience paused for a moment, voice softer than Inuyasha had ever heard it,_ all of you loves Kagome, remember? I know we almost lost her. I know that she was almost hurt in ways that neither of us wants to think about, but…. it's all right sometimes to take a moment and simply celebrate being alive, Inuyasha. For once, why don't you admit how badly you care for her and go make love to your wife?

Inuyasha didn't respond, staring at the closed door.

Uh, please? Please, please, please, PLEASE make love to Kagome. Begged his conscience. Please…

_Oh fine, shut up already_. Inuyasha snorted, shaking his head. Idiot.

He looked down at Kagome, finding her already naked again while he was distracted. When she reached, surprise, surprise, for the ties on his hakama, he didn't stop her. It felt really rather awkward and odd to have her undressing him, but honestly…it was pretty damn arousing, too. She stood there, all sleek and bare, completely unconcerned, with her tongue sticking out slightly as she concentrated. She's so cute sometimes, he thought, watching her. Her arm brushed against his Tessaiga as she worked on the hakama and he rolled his eyes. Just watch, she'd do something _really _stupid like cut herself on the blade. He took off the sword and tossed it to the ground nearby. Better have it close at hand, just in case he needed it.

As his eyes looked her over, thinking of why he might need the blade, he noticed again her blemished skin. He frowned. Fucking bastard… "What did he do to you, Kagome?" he asked softly, rubbing his palm softly over her poor, bruised shoulder. "Did he hit you?"

"Hmmmm?" she paused from untying his hakama. "You mean my shoulder? Oh no, that wasn't him. I tried to knock down the door. It didn't work really well." She mused before going back to work.

"You tried to knock down the door?" he could see her in his head, trying to ram through that huge wooden door he remembered. "You are really something else, Kagome, you know that?"

She didn't bother responding except a happy smile as his hakama and a couple of small pieces of fabric fell to the ground. She pulled at his kimono.

"Kagome, hey, wait a second, okay?" he pushed her hands away for a moment, looking at her. "Kagome, I…are you sure you want to do this? You're not going to get all mad tomorrow about it or something, are ya?"

Smiling up at him, she shook her head. "I really, really, really want to do this." She said slowly, grinning rather wickedly.

He watched her warily. "Yeah, that's what you said about getting married."

She brought up one of the hands he had wrapped around her wrist and kissed his knuckles lightly. "Well, that's turned out well so far, hasn't' it?" At his shocked look, she giggled. "It just feels so nice, Inuyasha. It's just like everything felt last night, but not so scary."

He smiled slowly back. Like last night, huh? Well if it was like last night, then maybe it _wasn't_ just the drugs… He leaned forward to kiss her, holding her nude body between his hands as he grasped her waist and pulled her forward. There it was again, spice and jasmine. How the hell did she make her mouth taste like that? He thrust his tongue into her mouth slowly. He didn't want to miss one second of this. It didn't feel so frantic, not like before. He was just so damn happy she was okay, and here, and with him. He just wanted to _feel_ right now.

Kagome reached up behind his head, and he felt her rub his ear between two small fingers, delicately sliding back and forth. He hardened so fast he thought he was going to fall over. Shit, who knew his ears had a direct line to his dick? Holy crap….ooooooh, dear mother of…

"Wait…don't stop." He whimpered slightly against her lips as she moved her hand away and she giggled, putting her hand back up and adding the other one. "Kagome, how the hell did you learn how to do that?" he murmured, too occupied by what was going on to do anything other than stand there with his lips still and quiescent against hers as he let her play with his ears. "I swear, if I ever object to you touching my ears again, you kick me, okay?" he said hoarsely, and twitched as she pinched one of them, feeling it all the way down to his groin like a fire whip.

Oy, Inuyasha, whispered his conscience.

_Fucking busy right now…oh sweet gods, I…_

Hey, a little fantasy reminder…ears and breasts, remember? Ears and breasts!

Inuyasha opened his eyes and looked down. Kagome was standing on her tiptoes to hold his ears, arms upraised, her breasts swaying slightly as she moved. Okay, good suggestion, he thought, reaching down slightly to wrap his arm around her waist and bring her chest up to tasting level. He slowly let his mouth explore, kissing along the rounded slopes, moving from one side to the other as he held her against him, holding her feet completely off the floor. Her fingers faltered on his ears as he licked a winding trail along the velvety skin in front of him, tasting, sucking in small mouthfuls of warm, soft flesh. She started squirmed in his arms, hands grabbing his ears tightly and making _him_ squirm. Finally, Kagome's hands fell away from his ears to simply hold onto his hair, her head bent forward, eyes closed.

Ha, eat your heart out, Miroku.

"Inuyasha…" she sighed softly, pulling at him. He continued to worship at the altar of breastly goodness for a few more minutes before he let himself grin and slowly let her feet back down onto the ground, sliding her body down his as he did so. He could smell her arousal increase as the fabric of his kimono rasped against her soft skin and his own shot up as well.

"It _is_ too damn hot." He muttered, letting her go completely and undoing his kimono. Tossing it to the side, he looked up to find her staring at him avidly.

"You wear a fundoshi." She said, tilting her head slightly as she looked at the thin white fabric wrapped around his groin and over his hips. "Wow. You're right, you are…hot." She reached out and touched him through the cloth and he groaned, his hands automatically reaching to the sides to start unwinding it when she stopped him.

"May I…do it?" she asked tentatively. He nodded, hands dropping away, and watched her a little nervously as she stepped behind him.

"Uh, Kagome, what are you doing?" he asked, craning his neck around to try and watch her. He felt her hands touching his bottom and he jumped. "Kagome!"

"I always wondered why Miroku did that sort of thing." She muttered, looking at his firm butt with the twisted strip of white running up the middle. "I think I can understand why. Your butt is really cute, did you know that?"

"Kagome, you're not supposed to say stuff like that!"

Yeah, _you're_ supposed to say stuff like that. Said his conscience. And her butt is pretty damn cute, too, you have to admit.

_Will you just shut up for five damn minutes!_

Maybe five…but only if they're a really good five minutes, mind you.

Kagome ignored him and knelt down, facing the side of his hips. He felt her hand slowly sliding up and underneath the twisted fabric over his hipbones. Slowly she started unwinding the twisted ends, her hands gently running over his side and hip, working backwards, one hand slipping up to touch his lower back as she ended up kneeling behind him.

She felt so odd. Her brain didn't feel so stuffed with cotton anymore, but she still felt strangely free. Tingling and energized, as though the constraints her impulses usually experienced were somehow missing. She could do whatever she wanted. She looked at the small, twisted cloth that ran between Inuyasha's legs and smiled to herself. Whatever she wanted. Inuyasha started shaking slightly as he felt her moving behind him, her breath hot as soft fingers following the same path through his legs, stopping just short of the front before roaming back up and delicately untwisting the other side. Her hands fluttered against his skin as she moved, breasts brushing against the back of his legs, little ripples of fire spreading out where she touched. As soon as she had it completely untangled, it slid to the floor and she came around to the front, kneeling in front of him.

Inuyasha stared at her with huge, dilated eyes, breathing hard, his hands clenching and unclenching slightly as though he wasn't certain what to do with them. She looked up at him, silver hair cascading down his back as he stood naked and exposed in front of her. He looks like he could be some ancient god, she thought, he's so stunning. Then looking at the growing length right in front of her face, she smiled a little thinking of it. Before today, if she were to call him a God, she would have named him something martial, like the God of Battle. But right now, looking at him, tall and strong and, woo boy, naked, battle was pretty far from her mind.

He looks like somebody took sex and made it into a man, she thought, salivating. How in the world had she never noticed that before? He was so darn strong and beautiful and sexy. She giggled to herself again: Inuyasha, the God of _Sex_ and Battle.

When his eyebrows lowered a moment as though she were laughing at him, she giggled again: the Grumpy God of Sex and Battle.

Eyes drawn to the most prominent feature near her, she bit her lip, hesitating a moment. As excited and unrestrained as she felt, she still wasn't sure what was going to happen next. She'd never touched a naked man _down there_ before. She brought up one hand within touching distance and stopped. She looked up at him again, saw him nervously lick his lips, and her hesitation dissipated. This was _Inuyasha._

Hadn't he done everything for her last time? Didn't he _always_ do things for her? He never asked for anything in return, waving away his own generosity and compassion as though his motives were always selfish. As though he had no need of softness or love. This time, he deserved to be on the receiving end.

"Do you mind if I, um, do something, Inuyasha?" she asked hesitantly.

"What?" his voice was almost a squeak.

"Well it's, uh…with my mouth and…" she bit her lip again. Staring at him, naked and looming above her, she felt herself flush. Great, now not only was her head clearer, but she was starting to feel a bit embarrassed as well. Was she really suggesting this? Except…he did so much for her, and the movies always referred to this as though it was something really, really nice for boys. So, "I just, I think you might like it. I've never done it before, so I might be really bad at it, but…could I try it?"

He gulped. "Kagome, if it'll get you to touch me in the next minute, than do whatever you damn well want to." He said quickly.

Real smooth, said his conscience.

_It hasn't been five minutes yet, you…HOLY CRAP!_

What? What happened?

_OH FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE…! _He groaned against clenched teeth, his hips moving slightly.

WHAT! What's happening?

_She's, she's…oh damn…she put her mouth around me! I can't believe she put her…oh don't stop doing that, dear Gods in the heavens, please. _

She what?? But I can't feel…hey, make some room in here, I wanna feel too!

_Fuck off, you. This is…oh holy shit, this feels good. Her mouth is so hot…_

You selfish rat bastard. Can't believe you won't….

Inuyasha tuned his conscience out, reaching down to grab Kagome's hair in his hands as he thrust slightly against her. The feeling of being actually inside something _other_ than his own hands was so overwhelming he was having a hard time thinking. Don't claw her, don't claw her, don't claw her!

But it felt so fucking good! He could feel something building, tightening, centered around Kagome and her skilled little tongue and mouth and…

Some of us wouldn't know anything about that, griped his conscience. And don't let it feel too good or you'll finish too early and never finish the mating!

That last thought penetrated and he stopped with considerable effort, pushing Kagome away from him slightly. Kneeling on the floor with his hands on her shoulders, hair twirling down her back and across her chest, eyes bright, she suddenly looked worried.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked.

"Oh fuck no." he said ferverently, trying to catch his breath. She smiled at his tone of voice, flushing slightly.

"Then why?"

"Well, uh…" damn, he couldn't think yet. Fuck, he hadn't even thought how to ask this! "You see…shit." He knelt down facing her, _not_ a comfortable position at the moment.

"Um…Kagome, " he looked at her breasts briefly and lost his train of thought at the sight of them. He shook himself. "I didn't really ask last time, but…well, I mean, do you wanna? This time, I mean?" he blurted

"What?" She looked over at him, confused. What was he talking about?

"This time. You didn't get to choose last time, so I just thought…this time, you get to choose if you want to or not."

What are you doing, you idiot? Yelled his conscience.

_I'm giving her a chance to back out, okay? She didn't ask for this, not really. I just…I don't want to make her my mate if she doesn't really want me to. She should get to decide._

Aw man. I hate it when you get all fucking noble and crap. Shit, put me out of a job or something. Fine, go ahead.

Kagome smiled slowly. He was offering her a chance to choose whether or not they made love. That was just so sweet and considerate and…so unlike him. Maybe he's mellowing, she thought, reaching over to pat his thigh, then blushing madly that she'd even done so. Pretty silly, considering what they'd been doing a few minutes ago, but still.

"I want to." She said softly, looking up at him shyly.

"Are you sure? Maybe we should wait until you're…feeling more yourself, Kagome, before you decide?" He said, desperately hoping she'd shoot his suggestions down. He just didn't want a scene like before. He _still_ didn't know what that first damn fight was about… "You'll just be mad again if we do this when you're all out of it."

"Inuyasha…I'm fine."

"That's what you said last time, too."

She winced slightly. "Inuyasha," He looked into her dark eyes that were focused and direct, lacking that soft fuzziness they'd contained before. "I'm feeling fine. Maybe a little…looser than normal, but I know enough to know what I'm saying. I want _this_ to be the thing I remember about today." Her hands twisted in her lap a little nervously. "I want to."

"Really? You do?"

"Uh huh."

He beamed, his eyes almost glowing as he took a deep breath. She wanted to! Hot damn, she wanted to be his mate! He'd asked her outright, there was no way there could be any misunderstandings or confusion or not remembering the next day. He'd asked her, and she'd said YES! This was now, officially, the best moment in his entire life, hands down.

"Woo Hoo!!"

Kagome let out a small scream as a large, naked hanyou leapt at her and tackled her to the futon.

"Inuyasha!"

"Gotcha now." He said, teasing her, grinning hugely.

"You scared me to death!" she said breathlessly.

"Well, this time at least I won't SIT you." he said slyly, remembering the last time she'd uttered the same words.

"That wasn't very nice, you know, with the pond and all." She said, looking up at him, blushing slightly at the feel of him covering her body.

"Neither was what you did afterwards." He retorted, and she blushed.

"Although from what I remember, this part was pretty great." He said softly, leaning down to kiss her. His body pressed against hers as he let his tongue explore the wet cavern of her mouth. He could feel her entire body, soft and small underneath his, their legs entwined together as she started moving against him. Her hands reached up and fondled his ears again and he jerked. Oh damn, she was so _good_ at that!

Running his hands down the soft curves of her body, he shivered. Holy crap, if it was this good for their first time, he'd better be careful because he thought he might die if it got any better. He moaned slightly. He wanted to do it right now, dammit! He scented the air, realized Kagome's arousal was not quite where it needed to be yet, broke off their kiss. He started caressing a path down Kagome's body, kissing along the trail of fire his hands left on her pearly skin as he went. When he licked around her belly button and started to go lower, she balked.

"Inuyasha, I- I don't think…"

He paused and looked up at her, flushed and sweaty, eyes dark, and smelling so aroused he almost got up to enter her right then and there.

"Hey, fair's fair, right?" He said, and her eyes widened he continued down. Her scent peaked almost immediately and he reveled in it, listening to her moan, feeling her hips writhing within his hands as he held her still and returned the gift she had given him earlier. He gave her one last, slow, lick before moving back up, supporting himself over her.

_Damn, she tastes good _everywhere!

Looking down at her, he paused, holding himself in check for another moment, breathing hard at the feel of her body pressing against him "Kagome? You…gotta listen to me, okay?" she looked into his eyes, squirming and starting to get frustrated. Things kept feeling better and better and now he was stopping. What was taking so long!

"What." She said, panting slightly.

"You can't bite me, okay?"

"What?" Bite him? Why in the world would she? Wait, did that mean that _he_ was planning to? "Hey, you're the one with fangs, shouldn't I be saying that?" she said nervously.

"No, don't be stupid." He said, smiling a little. "It's just important not to bite me, okay? Can you do that?" She nodded slightly. "Oh Thank the Gods." And his mouth immediately closed over her own as his hips pressed forward. His hips and his tongue thrust into her at the same moment, and she cried out a little at the pain. It seemed to go all the way from her mouth to her groin and it hurt!! He kept his hips still as he pulled his face back, dropping little kisses across her face and whispering soothing phrases as she adjusted to the feel of him.

"Is it a little better now?" he asked after he finished raining kisses on her. She nodded. "Just two more to go, okay?"

Two more what, she wondered. He picked up her left hand, nuzzling her palm and moving his hips out. He thrust back in and licked the length of her palm at the same time, painful tingles spreading out across her body to connect the two points of contact. He did the same with her right hand: same timing, same feeling, same pain. After the third thrust, he put her hand down and started smiling euphorically at her. This must be feeling a lot better for him than it is for me, she thought, starting to feel a bit grumpy.

"It's done!" he said, almost howling in glee. They were mated! She was his, his, his, his and no one else's and he had a mate!!

Kagome looked up at, disappointment in her eyes. "That's it?" she said in a small voice. "I thought there was more to it…" she trailed off as he looked back down at her.

"More to it? That was just the hard part. Now's where we get to have fun." He said, grinning as he started to move slowly. "Now's where it starts to feel good." Her eyes widened as she realized he was right: it _was_ starting to feel good. Feeling Inuyasha moving against her was feeling _very_ good, in fact. Actually….

Wow.

Inuyasha was slowly increasing the tempo, ecstatic as Kagome's arousal climbed again as they moved together. His breathing grew labored as they started pushing against each other harder and faster. Just a little bit longer…. He pressed his lips on hers, thrusting, trying to hold off just…until…she…

He felt her scream against his mouth as her nails dug into his shoulders and he let himself go, coming against her with a force that was staggering. He lay on top of her, his body shaking while her small hands move gently over his back. He was sure _nothing_ and _no one_ could feel as good as he did right now.

Wow.

So, that's what sex is like, said his conscience.

_Yeah. _When nothing else was forthcoming, Inuyasha's brow furrowed in confusion. _What, no wisecracks? No complaints? _

Give me a minute, I think I'm still in shock.

Inuyasha smiled slightly and managed to slide off of Kagome. He pulled her up against his body to spoon with her slightly, happily noticing her contented sigh as she cuddled up to him. Reaching for the suikan, he pulled it over both of them before he fell asleep, exhausted, a blissful smile on his face.

Xxxxxxx

A few hours later, just before dawn, Kagome woke up slowly as she felt warm water moving against her lower body. She looked around her groggily, wondering why she was naked, when she realized Inuyasha was kneeling next to her, watching. He had a cloth in his hands and had obviously just washed her while she slept. She blushed both at her nudity and at the memory of what they'd been doing a few hours before.

"I can't believe I did that…" she said softly.

Inuyasha's face fell and he backed off slightly. "You didn't really want to, did you. I _knew_ I should have waited until the drugs wore off…"

"No, no, I wanted to!" she reassured quickly, seeing his ears drooping. "I just, I just can't believe I actually _did _it." She added, blushing again.

"Oh." He smiled slowly, golden eyes twinkling slightly in the firelight. "So, how'd I do?" he asked, trying to be casual.

"Inuyasha! I can't answer something like that!" Kagome's cheeks burned.

"Why not?" he asked, shaking his head. What was the problem? It wasn't like he was asking her to bare or soul or anything. And they were mates now, they were supposed to talk about stuff like this…probably. He wasn't entirely sure, actually, now that he thought about it. "How am I supposed to know how it was if you won't tell me?"

Kagome shook her head at him, "You are such a … It was good, all right."

"How good?" he asked.

"Inuyasha!"

"No, I mean it, how good? Like a little good, or really good, or I almost thought I'd die kinda good." He pushed.

Feeling herself blush all the way down to her toes, Kagome closed her eyes, "…almost thought I'd die…" she mumbled softly and he grinned broadly.

"Yeah, me too." She opened her eyes back up to look into his, saw his happy, slightly teasing smile, and smiled back.

"Sooooo, wanna do it again soon?"

"Inuyasha!"

"Just askin'!" he grinned again, watching her reaction. This was fun!

Kagome finally realized she was being teased and met his laughing eyes with an admonishing look of her own.

"Actually, it's almost dawn. We should probably get dressed before Sango and Miroku come back." He said, starting to stand up. He paused, looking at his flushed and sleepily rumpled wife below him and his breath hitched momentarily. He loved her so much.

"K-Kagome? There's something I should have told you a long time ago." He said softly. " I wanted to tell you, I- I- " he felt his throat close up as he tried to talk.

C'mon, say it! Ordered his conscience.

_I'm trying, here! It's hard, dammit!_

No, it _was_ hard, now it's just flaccid and pleasantly sated.

_Oh very funny, Hentai._

"…I– I-" Looking into her eyes, he stopped again, gulping slightly.

"I- I'm glad I married you, Kagome." He finally got out, swearing inwardly at his cowardice.

Oh give me a break! His conscience growled. That was such a great moment and you didn't tell her you loved her? Dumbass!

_I know I fucked it up! I just… I just couldn't say it, okay?_

He watched her, frustrated at himself. His ears twitched in confusion when she smiled as though he'd given her jewels instead of a few pathetic words.

"I'm glad you married me too, Inuyasha." She said, touching his cheek briefly. She watched him turn red and almost giggled. So, he didn't love her yet…but maybe soon. The way things were going, maybe soon.

She could wait.


	24. Ch 24 Hunting for Kichiro

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Inuyasha in any form or media, nor do I profit from this.

**A/N A short chapter, sorry! Thank you very much for all the reviews everyone! Hope you like this one!**

Chapter 24 – Hunting for Kichiro 

Miroku cleared his throat loudly as he stood at the entrance to Inuyasha and Kagome's room.

"Oh just come in, you idiot, you're not interruptin' anything." He heard Inuyasha growl, and he sighed. The couple _still_ hadn't consummated their marriage? By all the Fates, what did one have to do to get those two together? Kagome had already been naked, how much more did one need?!

On entering, however, he was met with Inuyasha's blinding grin and Kagome's bright red cheeks. All right, previous suppositions revised, he thought, grinning back at Inuyasha until Sango hit him in the head. Kagome's hand wasn't far behind in smacking the hanyou.

"Will you two stop grinning at each other like that?" Sango said irritably.

"Like what?" Inuyasha asked, grinning wider.

"Like you're both cats who just stole the cream." Kagome said, in complete agreement with Sango.

"Kagome-sama, I will be honest with you. When one of your life's goals has just been met, it is almost impossible not to celebrate it in some way. Climbing the tallest mountain in the world would be a pale endeavor compared to what I accomplished last night." Miroku said, smirking slightly until Sango gasped and slapped him so hard in the back of the head that he stumbled.

When he looked back at her in offended outrage she simply raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you say you wanted someone to slap you when you needed it? Because trust me, you needed it."

Kagome hid a smile behind her mouth, still blushing slightly as Inuyasha continued to grin like an idiot. Sometimes, the lack of privacy in such a small group as theirs was highly embarrassing. Miroku and Inuyasha's mutual congratulation fest was _not_ something that had been on her radar at all. Actually, in the haze surrounding last night, she'd completely forgotten Inuyasha's comment on Sango and Miroku's activities. I guess we all had the same idea, Kagome thought, squirming uncomfortably. She caught Sango's gaze and they both blushed vividly, hiding their own smiles again. All right, so it _had_ been pretty amazing. But still, the way the guys were acting…

Sango rolled her eyes as Miroku turned to her, shaking her head at him as she walked over to Kagome. "Do you want to leave these two idiots here for a minute and come with me to see Shippou? It sounds like he was pretty worried about both of us."

Smiling gratefully, Kagome nodded. It was still too new to her to feel at ease with the two men's open attitudes about what had just occurred. She sidled past Miroku, not quite meeting his eye as she walked by him. Knowing that Miroku and Sango had been doing the _very same thing_ as she and Inuyasha was almost mortally embarrassing. Knowing that the other couple knew the same information about she and Inuyasha was even worse. Even if they _were_ married, it was still very hard for her to reconcile herself to it, unlike everyone else, who actually seemed relatively comfortable with the lack of privacy. Looking at Sango, who was red but already recovering, Kagome sighed. I guess it's just one of those things about the Feudal era that I'll have to get used to, she thought. She tried to smile at her friend again, but was suddenly hit with an image of Miroku and Sango doing the same act she'd just engaged in and gave up, looking down with flaming cheeks as she followed Sango out of the room. This was going take a while to get used to. A long while to get used to. Like, maybe years.

After the two women walked down the hall, Inuyasha looked Miroku up and down. "Finally got your damn clothes back on, huh?"

"I took a moment to go back to the hot springs and retrieve the rest of them during our watch." Miroku said calmly, still looking at the world through the rosy glow of Sango's romantic declaration.

Well, that and sex. Really good damn sex. Can't forget the mind blowing, earth shattering, universe altering sex. Which he could hopefully experience again at the soonest possible moment, numerous times.

Miroku smiled softly, remembering the evening. Inuyasha looked at him curiously for a moment, noticing the softening of his smile and scent.

"She said she loves me, Inuyasha." Miroku said quietly, as though saying it too loudly might somehow cheapen the statement. Inuyasha smiled for him, but it was a little bittersweet and Miroku, perceptive bastard that he was, noticed. "Did you not confess your own feelings?"

Shuffling his feet for a moment as he looked down, Inuyasha shook his head. "I …came close." He paused, voice soft and rather sad when he started speaking again.

"She's never said anything to me about what she feels when she's sober, Miroku. Not a word. I just can't see… How can she love me, Miroku?" he asked quietly. "I have nothing to offer her. I have no home, no money, no profession. Hell, the only family I have has already tried to kill her! And I'm a – hanyou. I just cannot see how someone like her could love someone like me, Miroku. I keep thinking this must be a mistake. A really big mistake." He closed his eyes, his arms in his sleeves as he gripped his forearms tightly.

Miroku looked at him sadly. "Inuyasha…Kagome doesn't care about your possessions. Nor your family or your blood, for that matter. Can you not have some faith? Kagome said she loves you, Inuyasha. Even inebriated, I do not believe that is something she would say lightly."

Inuyasha's shoulders slumped a little. "Maybe. How do I know unless she tells me again, though? And she's so damn nice. If I say it to her, you know she's gonna say it back, even if she doesn't mean it, just so she doesn't hurt my feelings. She's too nice for her own damn good."

"Now that's simply foolish, " Miroku said, shaking his head, " She…"

"Didn't you hear her talk about that Kichiro bastard? She's a sucker for a sob story. And…well, look, I didn't even tell her how I felt and she even agreed to be my mate! She's always doing shit like that. Thinking of everybody else before she bothers to even protect herself." He'd been thinking about it since they'd both awakened, and he was fairly sure that Kagome's decision had been half natural compassion and half drugs, with maybe a dash of 'damn this feels good, don't stop' thrown in for good measure. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, but at the same time he hoped the mating might be able to bring them closer together now so that maybe, somehow, she might find something worthwhile in him to love. He couldn't see it, but she always saw the good in people, so maybe…maybe she could find something good in him too and… well, maybe.

Miroku started to grin in spite of himself. "She agreed to be your mate? Are we talking about the youkai sense of the word now?"

Blushing, Kagome's carnal reaction to their mating popping instantly into his head, Inuyasha nodded. "Yeah." He smiled a little. "It was…really great."

"You've already completed the ceremony?" Miroku asked. As Inuyasha smiled wider, he grew curious. "If you don't mind my asking, what exactly does the mating ceremony involve? I didn't see any…bite marks on her."

Inuyasha looked at him strangely. "Is there some weird fetish humans have with biting or something? Kagome was asking the same damn thing. Why the hell would you think there'd be bite marks?"

Miroku blushed slightly himself. "Uh- It's simply…well, youkai do seem a bit more violent and closer to their animal natures than humans are. I suppose I assumed there might be something related to that involved in mating."

"Feh, that's stupid. Any dumb animal can bite. It's getting close to teeth and claws and _not_ getting bitten that makes mating such a big deal."

"Truly? Then, how...?"

"You just have to…uh. Just when you're, you know, in the middle of everything, the male has to be willing to put his face within reach of the female's teeth and claws. If he can do that, and kiss her in each spot without blood being spilt, then she's accepted him as her mate and they're mated. If she bites or scratches him and spills blood, he's been rejected."

"How curious." Miroku's lips quirked, the irony of it tickling him. Quizzing Inuyasha on his biting habits, when Miroku had been the one to do the biting in the last few hours. Huh, maybe we humans _do_ have a fetish with biting.

_Or perhaps it's just me._ "Is Kagome fully recovered?"

"Yeah, I think so. Sango?"

"Definitely." Miroku replied, shaking away thoughts of women and biting and…well damn, too late. He was hard again anyway. "I assume you would prefer to start our search for Kichiro as soon as possible?"

"Yeah, I still have to search the village and make sure he's not here before we can even leave, so he's going to have one hell of a head start on us. Not that it'll help. He's gonna pay." Inuyasha growled threateningly under his breath.

"Well, considering how much practice we've had looking for Naraku and the shards, at least we have some searching skills to draw on. And truly, how hard can it be to find one huge cat hanyou?" Miroku asked.

The answer, it turned out, was pretty damn fucking hard.

xxxxx

"Shit, no wonder we can never find Naraku if we suck this badly. Where the fuck can that bastard be?" Inuyasha kicked out at the bushes that offended his sense of 'what should be allowed to live within the campsite.' "It's been a whole week! We should've at least found _some_ sign of him." He punched a tree, cursing as his knuckles started to bleed.

"Inuyasha! What are you doing? You hurt yourself! Come over here and let me bandage that up." Kagome put her meal aside and started pulling her first aid kit out of her bag.

Inuyasha looked at his bleeding hand and growled in disgust. Stupid, freakin' new moon. Dammit all to hell. The way his luck had been going lately, Kichiro was probably going to walk up to their hidden little camp any moment now and proceed to kick the shit out of his puny human body. And he wouldn't even be able to smell him coming!

He scowled at his hand again as he plopped down next to his wife, dark hair flopping on the ground behind him, grumping as Kagome washed his wound carefully and wrapped a small white bandage around it. He mumbled a gruff thank you under his breath.

"I'm sorry the rumor didn't pan out." Kagome said softly. "It sounded so promising…"

"Yeah, but women have been disappearing from around here for a lot longer than Kichiro's been traveling. It's not him." He looked over at Kagome sharply. "You and Sango need to be careful, Kagome. That would be all we need, for you to get your ass kidnapped again."

"Kagome and I are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves." Sango spoke up from her seat near Miroku.

Yeah, that was _real_ obvious from the last time someone tried to kidnap one of them, his conscience muttered irritably.

_That's for damn sure._

"A little extra caution would not be amiss, would it?" Miroku said as he turned to Sango, reaching out to rub his fingers across her hand.

Looking down at the strong, tender fingers caressing her palm, Sango nodded absently. When she looked up at him and their eyes met, Miroku's fingers paused and he swallowed. He started to leer as he recalled what he'd done to Sango the night before and she blushed fiercely.

_Aw shit, here we go again, _thought Inuyasha.

Sango let out a little 'eeek' as Miroku suddenly grabbed her and dragged her over to his lap, ravaging her mouth as his hands ran up behind her head and down her spine, her own hands still only moments before she took hold of his dark hair as she moaned against his mouth.

Kagome smiled slightly even as she blushed and turned away from the couple. Shippou and Inuyasha rolled their eyes at each other, although Inuyasha grimaced as well and handed over a small sweet to the kitsune.

Hey, you going soft on him? asked his conscience curiously.

_Hell no, he won the bet, remember? I thought they'd at least last until dinner was finished. The man has no self-control at all, crap. _

No kidding. Hell, and I thought he was a pervert _before _he married Sango, muttered his conscience.

Inuyasha watched Miroku's hand slide down to Sango's bottom and squeeze as he pulled her closer. Turning away from the amorous couple, he swallowed and shifted uncomfortably, covertly reaching down to adjust himself under his clothes. Damn hentai, he cursed, irritated.

_For the love of all that's holy, how many times a day does he have to maul her like this? Doesn't he get enough at night?? Shit, the way they carry on, I'm surprised Sango can even walk in the mornings!_

You're not supposed to comment on stuff like that, his conscience told him wryly.

Inuyasha blushed. He was still feeling a little uncertain about this whole married _and_ having sex part of things. The only way the group had been able to get through the change in relationships so far was a mutual, unspoken agreement to pretend that neither couple was aware of the other's activities once they bedded down for the night. There was only so much a few extra feet of distance could do to hide one's activities, after all, especially when it came to hanyou and youkai senses. But Sango and Miroku were fucking loud, dammit!

_His conscience continued in a rather sly little voice. _Actually, after last night, I'm kinda surprised _Kagome_ could walk this morning.

Inuyasha flushed. _Hey, will ya shut up! You bitched when I wasn't having sex, and now you make snide comments when I do. You have got to be the most fucking irritating, contrary conscience in the whole fucking world._

Gotta match the most irritating, contrary hanyou in the world, now don't I? His conscience shot back smugly.

_Fuck off._

He looked up to see Sango sitting next to Miroku once again, disheveled and flushed, trying to pretend nothing had happened. Inuyasha shook his head.

"Oy, lech." He called over to Miroku. "If there's something after women around here, I need you to stay up with me on watch tonight. This body isn't worth shit if something bad jumps us."

Miroku looked at Sango longingly but nodded. "Of course, Inuyasha. I agree, this is a not the time nor place to be complacent." He still looked at Sango as though he was trying to figure out some way to work in a quickie and Inuyasha snorted.

"Give it up, Miroku. You ain't gettin' any tonight." He said bluntly, making Sango turn redder than she already was. Miroku glared at him, shaking his head. He was about to take him to task over his rude words to Sango until he realized that she was stifling a grin underneath her blushes. Wonderful, Miroku thought, even his wife was laughing at him. At least she laughs about it now, though. He smiled over at her for a moment before he looked back at Inuyasha.

"Well, you're not touching Kagome tonight either, you rude baka." Miroku mumbled, maintaining the veneer of politeness by keeping his voice low enough that only Inuyasha's and the two demon's keen ears picked it up. Shippou snorted, making Kagome come over, worried he was choking on his food. Miroku shook his head. How was it that Inuyasha could always manage to stir up everyone with just a few ill chosen words, wondered Miroku.. If only he'd yell out when it was coming, like his battle cries, then at least they'd all have some warning and could get prepare themselves.

Miroku was still feeling slightly irritated with Inuyasha an hour later as the women slept near the fire with Kirara and Shippou. Miroku yawned slightly as he stared into the darkness, trying to keep alert despite his fatigue. The sun hadn't even been down more than 2 hours, and he was already exhausted. Of course, he thought with a slight smirk, he hadn't exactly been getting a lot of sleep recently. Damn this was going to be a long night. Ah well, he thought, better a long boring one than the terrifying one they'd all suffered through last week.

Opposite Miroku, Inuyasha sat tensely, gripping his useless Tessaiga as he tried to scan the thick underbrush around them with his brown, angry eyes. He _hated_ feeling like this. Can't see in the dark, can't claw, can't move quicker than a turtle, and his nose always felt like it had simply fallen right off his face. Awful. He thought Miroku was still annoyed with him, not like he could really tell with such a useless nose, but probably. He grunted in irritation. If the houshi couldn't stand to not have sex for one damn night, then he should be abstaining just to practice restraint at this is point. The houshi's silence bothered momentarily, and he scoffed at himself. Instead of worrying about Miroku's lack of words, he'd be better served trying to enjoy the silence while it lasted. Miroku would get bored soon anyway and start talking his ear off, as usual. Unless he tried to sneak off with Sango for a few minutes, the damn hentai.

Like you're not wishing you could jump Kagome right now, his conscience chided.

Inuyasha grinned without bothering to respond. Hey, he did have a point after all. He glanced at the fire briefly as Kirara and Shippou stirred restlessly, obviously setting off a chain reaction as the women did the same moments later. He could see Kagome squirm in her sleep, the hand that always seemed to end up tangled in his hair searching for something a moment before it lay still and passive again.

Awwww, she misses you, said his conscience. Maybe you should leave Miroku to keep watch and you could go over and comfort her. Or something.

_Now who's the lech?_

Just an idea.

Inuyasha shook his head and then jerked slightly as something bit him. He slapped at his neck, highly annoyed. Yet another thing to add to the list of reasons why he hated the new moon: bugs. Damn things couldn't even get through his skin when he was fully hanyou. He turned to make an irritated comment about the entire situation to Miroku and blinked as his head swam. What the- -

He shook his head, trying to clear it. What, was he getting sick now too? Fucking week just kept getting better and better. It took him a moment to realize that the black in front of his vision was actually coming from _inside_ his eyes, replacing the fire lit darkness of the campsite he was trying to keep in sight, and he finally started to get worried. "Miro-" he got out, before the darkness slipped into his brain and he passed out.

Eight figures silently crept into the camp after the two men on watch dropped like stunned ox. Two started collecting the small, almost invisible darts embedded in the two men's necks before going over to collect the same items from the two demons and women laying next to the fire. After a brief exanimation of the sleeping party, the shadowy figures debated for a moment and finally left, burdened by the extra weight of two bodies.


	25. Ch 25 Sacrificial What?

Disclaimer: I own no rights to anything Inuyasha related, don't make any money off of it, either.

**A/N Another short chapter, moments of actual tension in it, too. Once again, I have no idea how it happened, the characters just banded together and took over. They're all a bunch of hentai's! But awfully fun to write about, hee hee. **

**Chapter 25 – Sacrificial What?**

Miroku open his eyes and looked around, groggy and confused for a moment as he tried to figure out where he was and what was going on.. After a few moments, he closed his eyes, sighing to himself.

"Well, isn't this just lovely."

"No fucking kidding." said Inuyasha from off to his left, and Miroku looked over to see Inuyasha in the same situation as he: stripped down to his fundoshi, sitting against a rather damp stone wall, hands manacled above his head, ankles chained to the floor. Freezing. The windowless room was huge, about the size of a small temple, with what looked like a flat, black splattered altar against one side and a few more empty sets of manacles and chains attached farther down their own wall. Torches ringed the walls, lighting it to daylight brightness, and showing what looked to be the only exit: a large wooden door opposite them.

Miroku looked up at his right hand and smiled viciously. The beads were wrapped in a different pattern than he usually had them. I imagine that gave them a shock when they tried to take them off, he thought. Whoever 'they' were, that is. As he his head started to clear, he looked around more intensely, searching.

"Where's Sango?

"Where the hell is Kagome?" Inuyasha said at the same time.

Inuyasha started swearing, yanking at his manacles as Miroku focused on rubbing his wrists back and forth to see how much play he had. Could his hands slip through? They stilled as the door opened and a small group of black clad figures came in. They reminded Inuyasha a bit of some of the ninja clans he'd run across before. Not like he gave a shit.

"What the hell did you do to Kagome, you bastards! You better not hurt her!" Manacles rattling, Inuyasha glared fiercely at them. Miroku watched silently, analyzing.

One of the men, small and patrician featured with his hair pulled tightly back into a long braid, stepped forward, head titled slightly. He refused to answer Inuyasha, staring down at them.

"What the fuck did you do with our women?" Stupid, weak, human body! He'd be free by now if not for that!

After an irritated look to Inuyasha, the man responded curtly. "Nothing. To my knowledge, they are sleeping in the exact position we left them in." He shrugged, gestured, and the others arrayed themselves behind him to face the pair chained to the wall.

"So Inuyasha and I were your only targets?" asked Miroku. At the man's nod, Miroku closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the freezing stone in relief. At least Sango and the others were safe…

"Quite an interesting hand you have there."

Miroku opened his eyes quickly on hearing the voice so near to him. The man was crouching next to him, dark eyes staring up at his hand as he reached out to touch Miroku's beads. "Don't touch those!" he couldn't stop himself from exclaiming, his head filled with visions his kazaana completely uncontrolled on his manacled hand.

The man chuckled. "Oh don't worry. I've already lost one of my men to that hand. We were just lucky someone was behind you at the time and could rewrap it." He moved his hand away, continuing to stare at Miroku as he sat on his heels, examining Miroku's face with a light in his eyes that Inuyasha didn't quite trust.

"What the fuck do you want with us?" Inuyasha growled, trying to bring the man's attention back to himself. If they were going to do something to them, better they started with him first. If he could survive until sunrise, he'd be able to heal from a lot more abuse than Miroku could recover from.

The man glanced over at him for a moment but didn't move from his spot near Miroku.

"Possibly nothing," he said. "We'll see once the priest returns." His eyes ran down Miroku's near naked body slowly and he smiled as he looked into the surprised monk's eyes. "I'll be honest, I'm rather hoping the priest decides he can't use you, monk. As I said, we lost one of my men to that hand of yours. I think you could make a worthwhile replacement."

Miroku narrowed his eyes. "I'll have to decline your offer." he said stiffly. His breath hissed through his teeth as the man casually backhanded him in the face.

"I don't believe I implied you have a choice in the matter."

"You're a fucking idiot if you think you can force Miroku to fight for you, dumbass." Inuyasha sneered, trying to get his attention again. He had to get him away from Miroku. There was just something about how this guy was acting… He had to find a way to protect Miroku, dammit. "He's a wuss anyway. Can't fight for shit if it wasn't for that hand of his." he lied. Wouldn't hurt to play down their abilities a bit.

Dragging his eyes across Miroku's body again, the ninja smiled suggestively. "I never said I wanted him to fight for me."

Eyes hardening, Miroku stared at him. "You'd have to kill me first." He said quietly.

"Again, what makes you think you have a choice in the matter/"

Inuyasha looked between the two of them. What the fuck were they talking about? "Hey, what the fuck are you talking about, you asshole?" Miroku and the man stared at each other silently. "Hey! Answer me, dammit!"

"He wants a toy, Inuyasha, not a soldier." Miroku replied softly, not taking his eyes from the darkly clad man crouched in front of him. It took Inuyasha a moment to figure it out. He was planning on _molesting_ Miroku?

"WHAT? You fucking, perverted son of a bitch! Stay the hell away from Miroku, you hear me! Why don't you come over here and try that sort of shit and see how you like getting your balls kicked up into your throat! Hey! I'm talking to you, you limp-dicked little freak!"

The man muttered under his breath, "Uncouth peasant." He looked down at Miroku and smiled again, slowly.

"Leave him the fuck alone, you bastard!" Inuyasha pulled at his manacles as hard as he could, desperately trying to figure out how to get over to his friend. There had to be some way he could help him! He couldn't believe this was happening, and he couldn't do anything to keep this fucker away from Miroku!

"You really are delicious." The man said, reaching out a hand towards Miroku's determined, blank face. "I am definitely going to have to…"

"Renjiro! Leave them be! " A commanding voice boomed out from the doorway. The man jumped up with alacrity, turning to bow deeply to the finely dressed newcomer.

"Of course, Hisao-sama"

"You didn't pollute him, did you?" Hisao asked, his supercilious voice grating across Inuyasha's nerves immediately. The smooth faced young man spoke with a bearing that seemed completely at odds with his youthful appearance.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Hisao-sama, unless the priest determines that he would not suit our purpose." Hisao nodded, satisfied, and came over to look at both Miroku and Inuyasha.

"I take it you are the one responsible for kidnapping us?" Miroku asked, looking up at lordling in disdain. Hisao ignored him.

"Hey, my friend asked you a question, you jerk!" Inuyasha growled. Renjiro drew his sword and started toward Inuyasha until Hisao held up his hand.

"If he's impure, you may kill him if you like. Until then, restrain yourself, understand?" Renjiro nodded and sheathed his sword, scowling furiously at Inuyasha. Inuyasha smiled back at him, baring non-existent fangs. _Just wait until dawn, you prick, and we'll see who gets killed._

Entering slowly through the doorway, a young, oily looking priest entered the room, holding a rosy colored sphere and a weathered scroll in his arms. He bowed briefly to Hisao, placed the scroll on the altar, and came towards Miroku and Inuyasha.

"Are you certain they will fulfill the requirements of the spell? " Hisao asked, glancing at Miroku and Inuyasha as though they were something unpleasant stuck to the bottom of his slipper. "It still seems rather…unnatural."

"I believe it will, my Lord, but now that we are here, we can discover if they will be suitable. This should work as it did last time, unless they've… Well, we can make certain, now." He held up the sphere and brought it towards Miroku's head, ignoring the monk's efforts to avoid it. As soon as it touched him it glowed a bright, healthy pink. He performed the same ritual on Inuyasha, with the same results Smiling, he turned back to Hisao. "They can be used for tomorrow's ceremony, Hisao-sama."

Hisao nodded, pleased, and looked over to Renjiro.

"Watch them, RenjiroAnd Renjiro? When these two are brought forward, I expect that sphere to turn as pink at the ceremony as it is right now, understand?" Renjiro bowed low in acceptance, keeping his head down until Hisao and the priest had departed from the room and the door closed behind them.

He turned back to Miroku. "A pity, Houshi. You would have made a lovely plaything."

"Not as lovely as you might think," Miroku said harshly. He stared at Renjiro, trying not to shiver from the cold that had seeped into his skin from the stone surrounding him. "You still haven't told us your master's purpose in holding us here."

"Yeah, what the hell do you jerks think you're doing, anyway."

Renjiro looked down at them a moment and then smirked "Hisao-sama's pet priest has been helping him regain his youth with a very old scroll of spells he acquired. As long as he can continue to make acceptable blood sacrifices at the proper times, he can achieve immortality." He shrugged slightly. "It's a rather distasteful business, but loyalty to Hisao-sama definitely has its rewards."

"So we're to be the sacrifices, then, is that it?" Miroku asked.

"What was up with that lame, pink ball then?" Inuyasha asked angrily. "What, he's gonna glow us to death?"

Smirk. "It's a very traditional spell, in it's own way. All the sacrifices must be virginal. The priest created that sphere to measure if your purity is of an acceptable level to be used in the spell."

Miroku and Inuyasha stared at him silently, then shared a disbelieving glance with each other.

"Are you trying to tell me that _we_ are supposed to be sacrificed as…as…" Miroku didn't seem to be able to finish the sentence.

Renjiro leered at Miroku again, "That's right. You're the virgins."

After a moment of silence, Inuyasha and Miroku started laughing.

"Oh shit, you think we're _virgins!" _Inuyasha asked, trying to catch his breath in between guffaws. "Wow, did _you_ fuck up, you dumbshit! Miroku hasn't been a virgin since before his voice changed!"

Miroku looked over at Inuyasha. "Don't act so smug, Inuyasha. They were only off by about a week for you." he laughed

"Shut up, houshi." He said, blushing even as he continued to laugh. "Virgins. What a bunch of idiots."

Miroku looked up at Renjiro and stopped laughing as he realized Renjiro wasn't reacting to their mockery. His smirk had grown larger, if anything.

"I don't believe you understand exactly what type of virgins we're talking about." Renjiro said, looking at Miroku again. "As traditional as it is, the spell's wording is somewhat…open to interpretation."

"What the hell does that mean?" Inuyasha demanded. "You're either a virgin or you're not, idiot."

Renjiro crouched in front of Miroku, glancing slyly over at Inuyasha at the same time. 'Well, have you ever had a man inside your body?" he asked.

"Hell no!!" Inuyasha spat.

"I should say not." Miroku exclaimed, looking at Renjiro in distaste.

"Then you're a virgin." Renjiro said, reaching out to flip a piece of Miroku's hair out of his face. Miroku jerked his head back and glared at him.

"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!" Inuyasha blurted out. "That's not what makes a virgin! It's sex, you idiot, not whether or not someone has, whether they've….it has to do with who _I've_ been in, not who's been in me!!!"

"As far as the spell's concerned, if you're over the age of 15 and you've never lost your virginity 'to a man,' then you qualify as a virgin."

Miroku stared at him. "A virgin." He said flatly.

"Mmm hmmm."

"Inuyasha and I are to be sacrificed…as virgins." Miroku said in a stronger voice.

"I believe that's what I just said, yes." Renjiro was smiling broadly at this point.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Miroku said, breathing hard. Inuyasha looked over at Miroku curiously. He was actually starting to sound, well, almost flustered. "You cannot use our blood for a spell that requires the blood of virgins! It's completely impossible!"

"Oh it's possible. You'll be the second set of men who we've used, and the last trio's blood worked just as well as the women before them. Accept it. At noon tomorrow, you're blood will be spilled on that altar and you'll help the Lord continue his immortality."

"There is no way that I am going to be a …a sacrificial _virgin!!" _Miroku said in a strangled voice.

Renjiro grinned at Miroku, obviously enjoying himself "Hisao-sama thought is was somewhat…perverse…to use men instead of women, I'll admit, but finding virginal girls of the right age has become almost impossible lately. Beggars can't be choosers and all that. You'll have a few hours to make your peace though, so I suggest you use them well." He said, looking at Miroku's body again, shaking his head before standing back up. "And you were a virgin, too. Truly a pity I won't be able to take more time to get to know you, monk."

"The sentiment is _not _mutual, I assure you." Miroku, recovering his equilibrium long enough to reply with icy politeness.

Renjiro gave orders to the men still waiting behind him, obviously setting up shifts for the guards before he left. Eventually, two men remained across the room, standing on either side of the door, watching Inuyasha and Miroku.

Inuyasha was chortling softly to himself. "They're not doing anything until noon? Ha, they are toast as soon as the sun comes up. They're gonna regret EVER messin' with us." He gloated.

Miroku had lapsed into staring and mutters after Renjiro left the room. He mumbled to himself under his breath. "A virgin? A virgin! I cannot believe that they are going to try and…This is _unbelievable_."

_So, he's stoic in the face of being molested by some perverted ninja guy, but being called a virgin completely freaks him out?_

The mind of a hentai is obviously a convoluted and scary thing, his conscience replied. Although we gotta remember this the next time he pisses us off.

_Hell yeah. The mileage I'm gonna get outta this one will last me for _years

After a few minutes, Miroku finally recovered from his state of virginity-induced shock. "Inuyasha, can you do anything about these cuffs yet?" He asked under his breath.

"No, I think we've still got a couple of hours to go before my strength is back. Feels that way, anyway."

"Damnation."

"Oh, don't wet yourself, houshi. I'll be hanyou again long before they do anything to us."

"That is not what I was concerned with, Inuyasha. We have to get out of here before the women start looking for us!"

"Shit, I hadn't thought of that. They'll run right into these guys, son of a bitch."

"That's not the problem either!!" Miroku hissed. "If Sango finds out that I'm slated to be a virgin sacrifice, I will _never_ live it down. I think I would rather _be_ sacrificed than have that happen. We have to escape from here before the women find us!"

Inuyasha laughed at him. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that, 'cause I am going to tell _everybody_ about this one. Miroku the hentai as a virgin? We're _all_ gonna laugh our asses off!"

Miroku glared at him. "Oh really? One word, Inuyasha: Shippou." Inuyasha stopped laughing, thought a moment about the kitsune and life with him after he heard about _Inuyasha_ as a virgin sacrifice.

"We have to get out of here before the women start looking for us." Inuyasha said frantically.

"Exactly."

**A/N I hope you're enjoying the twist so far! Oh, I should say, I'm trying to keep the boys here in character in how they'd react to the idea of guy/guy. _Not _trying to make a statement on it myself, ya know?**


	26. Ch 26 Now We're in Trouble

Disclaimer: I own no rights to anything re: inuyasha in any form, don't make any lovely money off of this or anything involved with it.

**A/N thank you for the reviews! I was in a really down mood, and I was having a hard time keeping the story light. Happy words definitely helped!   
**

**Chapter 26 – Now We're in Trouble. **

It had been well over an hour and so far, Miroku and Inuyasha hadn't come up with any escape plan that didn't involve Inuyasha's half-demon strength ripping the manacles away from the wall. Both of them were cold and miserable, the muscles of their arms burning as they hung above their heads. Miroku turned to Inuyasha as the hanyou yanked futilely at his manacles for the umpteenth time. He was about to say something when a trick of the light colored Inuyasha's eyes red for a brief moment. He sucked in his breath. Damn, why hadn't he remembered that?

"Inuyasha, can you tell how much longer until dawn?" he asked in a low, urgent whisper.

"Not long now. I can already start to smell a bit better, so it should be soon." Glaring at the two men guarding the door, he gloated under his breath. "Kiss your asses goodbye, dumbshits, 'cause Inuyasha is about to come into his own again."

"No! Inuyasha, listen to me." Miroku said quietly, "Don't kill them! If you must, render them uncsoncious or incapacitate them. Or better yet, free me first and let me deal with Renjiro and the others."

"What the hell are you talking about? Why the hell _wouldn't_ I kill them?"

"Look around you. I don't see our clothes or, more importantly, the Tessaiga, anywhere near us. Without the Tessaiga, you shouldn't be killing indiscriminately, especially as angry as you are right now. Think; your demon side could emerge if you're too enraged! You need to be careful!"

Inuyasha grunted, pissed. He hadn't even been thinking of that. Damn monk was right. He wouldn't even get the pleasure of killing these sons of bitches until he could find his Tessaiga. They better not have messed with it, the fuckers. Son of a bitch. Considering that these had to be the freaks that had been kidnapping all the women in the area, he had really been looking forward to killing the butchering bastards.

"Yeah, guess you're right. I'll let you out first. Can you keep them off my back so I can go find Tessaiga?" Miroku nodded and Inuyasha started trying to think about where he could look. Where the fuck would they have put a rusty old sword? Was it even here?

Exhaling, Miroku leaned his head back against the stone wall. While he was happy that the women hadn't discovered them yet, he was not looking forward to escaping from this freezing little hell hole. Trying to keep Inuyasha from completely transforming might be more than he was capable of. He was torn between his ego, which wanted the women to stay away, and his concern for his friend. Having Kagome there would be invaluable if Inuyasha lost himself to his demon half.

Both he and Inuyasha stared as the door opened suddenly and Renjiro entered, followed by a few of his men. Great, what the fuck does that molesting bastard want now? Inuyasha wondered, scowling.

The men said nothing as they walked over to Miroku.

"Hey, stay the fuck away from him, you fucking perverts! Why don't you come over here for a real challenge, you sick fuck!" Inuyasha started yelling, growing more and more frustrated as he was completely ignored.

One man came to stand on either side of Miroku while Renjiro stood in front of him, The expectant look on his face gave Miroku a chill. Watching them warily, Miroku tried to keep all three within sight, uncertain what they were planning. It couldn't be the sacrifice; that was hours away. What if Renjiro had decided to ignore his Lord's commands, however? Was he planning to pursue what had been interrupted earlier? To torture him, perhaps? And what were the two underlings for? The man on his right suddenly grabbed Miroku by the hair, forcing his head back painfully.

"Let go of me." Miroku ordered through gritted teeth as he stared up into the cloth covered face above him. Not surprisingly, the man ignored him as his compatriot reached down and pressed slime coated fingers into Miroku's mouth. Miroku clenched his teeth tightly against the revolting invasion, almost gagging at the strong, bitter taste of the man's hand brushing the inside of his mouth before withdrawing. His hair was released almost immediately.

Miroku grimaced as the disgusting taste lingered in his mouth, spitting onto the floor near him as he tried to rid himself of it, wondering what substance they'd just coated his mouth with. If Renjiro was still following Hisao's orders, than it was likely he'd just been sedated. If not… Miroku had a sudden image of himself shucking his fundoshi as he babbled like a drunken idiot and told everyone who would listen, "I got hot."

_Please let it be a sedative_, he prayed ferverently. _I'll make any sacrifice necessary in thanks after I escape from here, if only you'll make that drug merely a sedative!_

He snapped out of his own thoughts as Inuyasha's voice finally filtered in.

"…..the fuck do you think you're doing! Fucking bastards, leave him alone, you sons of bitches, what did you do to him!!"

Renjiro shook his head. "You didn't think we were going to sacrifice you as you are now, did you? All dirty and disgusting? You need to be washed and dressed in the proper attire so you don't offend Hisao-sama. As I'm certain you'll both be difficult about it, I'm ensuring your cooperation." He smiled as he looked at Miroku's face. "It shouldn't take long before its absorbed." Renjiro looked at him for a moment more before he stepped away from Miroku and started over towards Inuyasha.

"Now it's your turn. Looking forward to it?" Renjiro's eyes were dark and cruelly mocking.

"Fuck off, you son of a bitch. You're not getting your rocks off by shoving that shit into _my_ mouth."

"We'll see." Renjiro gestured to the two men with him and Inuyasha noticed one already had a new coating of the goop on his hand. Inuyasha tensed as they neared him. Not yet! He was so close! He could feel it, dawn was probably only minutes away! If they would just stay the hell away until then, it would all be taken care of! He'd have his strength back and they'd be fucking toast! As the one man came to try and grab Inuyasha's brown hair, Inuyasha whipped his head around and almost managed to bite him. Growling low in this throat, he tried to watch all three, flinging his head from side to side, smashing one's hands between his head and the wall hard enough to break the man's fingers, biting and snarling. If he could just keep them away!

Renjiro cursed in irritation and called over more of his men. In the end, three men held Inuyasha's head arched back while one held his jaw still so the other could rub the inside of his mouth with the slime on his hands. Inuyasha cursed as they released him, spitting out what was left in his mouth, almost wanting to weep he was so angry. If only he could have held them off just a little longer. It was so close to dawn, he just had to have kept them away for another couple of minutes. Inuyasha grunted in pain as one of the ninja's suddenly knocked him back against the wall with a fist alongside his head.

"Fucking asshole! What the fuck's your problem!"

"Your reward for your total lack of cooperation, peasant." Renjiro sneered, and he and his cohorts left. Inuyasha and Miroku were left alone with the two ubiquitous guards.

As he continued to spit the loathsome taste from his mouth, Inuyasha looked over at the houshi. So far, Miroku was still looking pretty awake and aware. Maybe the stuff didn't take effect too quickly. Maybe he would still have time after he turned hanyou to get them both out of here. Then he could come back after the monk was safe and kick the ever loving shit out of these assholes. He was really going to enjoy that, especially that Renjiro bastard. No one messed with his friends like that and got away with it.

He felt the change, like something screamed in all 5 senses as everything suddenly exploded into focus. Hearing the two men across the room gasp, he cursed and yanked at his manacles, snapping the chains on them and standing up quickly. He leapt towards them.

FWUMP.

Fucking hell, he cursed as he lifted his face from the stones, he'd forgotten to free his legs. Real smooth, you dumbass. He snapped his legs free of their chains and turned.

"Oh come ON, this is bullshit!" he saw what his lost momentum had cost him as the two men ran from the room, screaming about demons. "Great. Just fucking great!" Snarling, he turned to go get Miroku and toppled over as the spin made him dizzy.

"No! Not yet, dammit!" He stood unsteadily and walked over to Miroku, almost falling over twice more. Miroku already looks out of it, he thought, noting the monk's dilated eyes and wobbling head. Looks like it's up to me to get us out of here.

He snapped Miroku's chains quickly, prying apart the manacles, and helped the drugged houshi to stand.

"Y'know, " said Miroku in a slightly slurred voice, "We need to stop getting drugged all the time. 'cept maybe Kagome. That'ss a good drug. D'you think Sango would take that drug sometime? That'd be nice." He leaned against Inuyasha as he tried to stay upright and Inuyasha growled under his breath. Inuyasha was having a hard enough time just keeping himself standing, keeping them both up was going to be a real bitch. Fuck.

They only made it to the door when Inuyasha heard men coming towards them. He leaned Miroku against the wall and peered out into a stone hallway that ran straight in either direction. No windows, no other rooms that he could see, just the hallway and a shitload of ninja freaks bearing down on them from both sides. Damn, there was no way they were going to be able to fight off this many when they were this fucked up! He yanked his head back in and slammed the door shut. Stumbling to the altar, he picked it up, grunting under the weight, and carried it back. Halfway to Miroku, he lost his balance again and fell over, the altar slamming down onto his foot.

"SHIT!" He managed to get it back up, limped over to the entrance and tossed the disgusting thing against the wall, blocking the door. Now that he could smell again, the altar's scent of old blood was strong enough to make his stomach churn. Miroku watched him curiously, following rather meekly when Inuyasha grabbed his hand and yanked him back to the far wall. By the time he reached it, Inuyaha was carrying his friend, weaving dangerously, and so thankful to have something to lean against that he simply dumped Miroku against the wall and flopped down next to him. As long as the altar kept them secure until the damn drugs wore off, they'd be okay. And then, Inuyasha was gonna kick some serious ass.

Again.

Except this time he really _was_ gonna kick some ass and not just stumble over his own feet like a dumbshit.

He hoped.

Xxxxx

One hour later, after many failed attempts at leveraging it open, an explosion blew apart the door and knocked the stone altar onto its side. Coughing and choking on the powdered rock and smoke, Inuyasha stumbled to his feet, thankful that his hanyou body seemed to be processing the drug faster than poor Miroku. He wasn't completely unaffected, but at least he could move around now…some. Miroku slowly pushed himself up using the wall as leverage, and they both watched as ninja's flooded into the room, followed by Renjiro.

Inuyasha grinned at him in spite of the shitty occasion. "Having some trouble, asshole?" he taunted. Leaning against the wall for support as a wave of dizziness hit, he tried to project relaxed and mocking.

"Just a minor nuisance, hanyou." He was staring at Inuyasha without the sneer inuyasha had grown used to. "I see my men didn't lie; the monk wasn't the only one with secrets. And what an interesting…change. Very exotic coloring, half-breed. Quite… lovely." Inuyasha finally recognized the look in his eyes; it was the same one he'd worn when he was bothering Miroku.

He gagged. "Oh, great, that's just disgusting. You asshole, now look what you did. I think I just threw up in my mouth. Blech. I swear, this must be the only time I've ever wanted to be human again, crap."

Renjiro's eyes went dark as he got angry, morphing back into the look of disdain he'd given Inuyasha before. Thank the Gods. Inuyasha didn't know how the fuck Miroku had been so calm about it before; having Renjiro think nasty thoughts about him was just….yuck.

Renjiro finally turned his eyes to his men. "Spill as little blood as you can; Hisao-sama needs it." The ninjas converged on them. Inuyasha looked quickly at Miroku, who pushed away from the wall only to fall over completely. Shit, he was gonna be on his own on this one. And he'd have to keep them away from the monk as well. Don't worry, Miroku, I'll protect you, he promised silently. He stood in front of Miroku, claws out as he watched them. Before they reached him, a number of the ninjas pulled out….eggs? Okay, these dumbasses were officially the weirdest jerks he'd ever seen. They lobbed the eggs at him and he snorted. What a bunch of idiots.

He reached up to grab one out of the air, having some idea of popping it into his mouth and taunting them a bit, but the egg shattered as it met his hand, caustic powder spewing out in a cloud around him as it came apart. "Aaaaagh! Shit! Fucking hells!"

Shaking his head, eyes blinded and burning, nose stinging, he choked. The other eggs had broken when they hit the wall and floor, creating a huge cloud around him and the monk. He could hear Miroku coughing and choking behind him as he tried desperately to clear eyes and see. When the monk cried out suddenly, Inuyasha leapt blindly toward the sound, slashing out past it, feeling resistance as he clawed someone. He dragged Miroku back so he sat on the ground between Inuyasha and the wall, trying not to panic. He could feel something huddling in the back of his throat. The thought that they were going to lose, that he and Miroku would end up gutted, was making his demon stir. He had to calm down! But what the hell were they going to do? The monk pressed a hand against his shoulder.

"…behind me." He coughed out.

"Hell no."

"Kazaana…ge' behind me." Miroku got out again, sneezing violently for a moment. Inuyasha cursed, but considering he couldn't see shit with his eyes watering and stinging so badly, he didn't really have a choice. He felt behind him and pulled Miroku out in front. The monk undid his beads and the eye searing miasma was instantly sucked in. A wave of dizziness hit Miroku soon after and he fell backwards, his hand sweeping past Inuyasha a moment before pointing up and almost sucking the ceiling onto their heads before he rewrapped his hand.

"Holy crap! Dammit, monk, don't pull that sort of shit if you can't aim it right!" Inuyasha's heart was beating like a drum. That had been too damn close. "Leave your damn hand covered for now, okay? I'd like to avoid being sucked in along with the entire damn building!" Miroku, pushing himself up, nodded jerkily as he scooted back against the wall.

The ninjas had backed off slightly at the wind tunnel. Yeah, fuckers, don't come any closer or maybe he'll suck in a few more of you, ha! Unfortunately, their fear was short-lived and the two men were surrounded again in moments. He was waiting to see what they were going to do, pressing back against Miroku to keep him partially protected by the wall, when the building was rocked by another explosion. Dust sprinkled down from the ceiling

What in the world is that? Miroku wondered, trying to keep his head clear. It was like the sound of an explosion, or something very large toppling to the ground. Or just possibly, he thought with a bit of hope, the sound of something exploding after a purifying arrow hit it. When the dust stopped raining on them, he heard men's yelling followed by a faint cry of "HIRAIKOTSU!" He smiled. He looked up at the ninjas and Renjiro standing in front of them and then smiled even more as Inuyasha starting to howl in glee.

"My wife," Miroku slurred out, "is gonna kick your ass. All of ya. Glad I'm not you."

"You're trying to threaten us with a woman?" Renjiro asked softly, scoffing. "A woman is not threat. Take them." He ordered his men. "The others will deal with the problem."

Chuckling, Miroku shook his head, "Gonna kick your ass and stomp it flat and _then_ use it as parchment. And I ge' to have 'I missed you' sex." Thinking about it, Miroku smiled again, "I haven't had 'I miss you' sex b'fore. Wonder what it's like?"

Renjiro was looking at Miroku like he was crazy, adding Inuyasha to the list as the half-breed started laughing so hard he couldn't stop. It was embarrassing and a little humiliating to have the girls coming to save them, but he was just so damn relieved that he wasn't going to fail Miroku and get his friend killed that he didn't care. Not too much.

Inuyasha still kept his claws out as he tried to keep everyone away until their friends could get to them. He had to trust that they'd be all right, as hard as it was not to worry about Kagome. But he just couldn't protect Miroku and them at the same time. And Kirara and Sango were pretty impressive. Even Shippou would help out.

Well, he'd try, anyway.

All desire to laugh disappeared entirely as he watched the men in front of him pulling out weapons. Most of the men had chains, weighted nastily on both ends, whistling slightly as they start to spin them. Well shit, this was not gonna be fun. He cursed as one of them got close enough to hit him in the arm with a weighted end, bruising him. With the momentum added to the weight, it could actually do some damage, even to him. And he couldn't fucking move without endangering Miroku. He snarled, smacking two of them out of the air before the third wrapped around one of his arms. He managed to yank it out of his attackers hands, but pulling back so quickly, his poor balance betrayed him and he fell. Everyone jumped him together at that point, chains wrapping around legs and arms as he tried to fend them off. As soon as they had him immobilized, but before he could break free, the men who hadn't attacked with weapons stepped up and slapped ofuda on the chains restraining him.

Inuyasha saw this and start cursing bitterly. It didn't stop him from trying to break free, but the damn sutras did the job and he was well and truly fucked. Great, now Kagome's gonna come in here and see me looking like a complete wimp. Wonderful. He lay on the ground, pissed and feeling helpless, finally looking over to see what had happened to Miroku.

The monk was still pressed against the wall, but Renjiro loomed over him and Inuyasha was seriously afraid that he wasn't worrying too much about Hisao's orders anymore. He looked seriously pissed and about to take it out on the monk.

I cannot believe you're actually gonna do this, his conscience said, reading his intentions.

_Well we have to get him away from Miroku, don't we?_

"Hey, fucktard, why don't you leave him alone! Didn't you think my hair was hot shit and all that? Why don't you come over here and try to mess with someone who's more of a challenge, you damn coward!"

You know, somehow, when you were thinking 'lure him away from Miroku,' that wasn't the image that popped into my head, sighed his conscience.

_That's 'cause you're almost as perverted as Renjiro is, asshole._

Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be doing any good, as Renjiro merely glanced his way before looking back down at Miroku.

"You've caused a lot of trouble, you know that, monk?" he hissed. glared down at him.

"Hey, I did it, you dumbass! Miroku's too drugged off his ass to do jack shit! It was me!' Inuyasha struggled once again against the chains, cursing as they still held him tightly to the ground. "Look, he can't even punch you in the gut like you deserve, you shit. There's no way he could do any of this. I did it! Why don't you come over here and bitch at _me_ about it!"

Once again, Renjiro ignored him. "I think I deserve _something_ to compensate me for this fiasco." He said, leering at the dazed monk.

"Get the hell away from my husband, you bastard!"

Renjiro's head popped up and he looked towards the door. Inuyasha started yelling immediately.

"About fucking time! Hurry and get that asshole away from Miroku!"

Sango didn't bother to answer as everyone but Renjiro charged her. Considering there were only 30 or so ninjas, Inuyasha didn't even bother looking after he saw the others step through the doorway to stand by her. An obviously pissed Kagome AND an angry Sango? The ninja jerks would be better off just giving up now and saving themselves a whole lotta pain. He decided to watch Renjiro with Miroku instead. He was going to continue pushing himself at the houshi until he heard his ninjas start losing. Renjiro looked back in disbelief as 2 women and 2 demons started chopping through his men like a scythe. After that shocked look, Inuyasha saw him loose interest in the houshi. He stepped away from him and used the chaos to run over to the other side of the room. Maybe he's gonna try and sneak past them? Reaching the slab where the altar used to stand, he picked up the old scroll from the ground where it had fallen off the altar. Huh, Inuyasha thought, he hadn't even noticed it when he'd moved the damn thing. Wasn't that the scroll the priest had brought in, though? Whatever it was, if Renjiro wanted it, then he really didn't want to let the fucker have it.

"You're okay!"

Inuyasha flattened his ears against his head at the loud, high-pitched voice. Shippou had managed to make it through the fight over to him. Good. "Yeah, I'm fucking peachy. Shippou, take the ofuda off the chains. It's keeping me here."

Shippou nodded, way too happy, in Inuyasha's opinion, and as soon as they were ofuda free, Inuyasha started yanking and pulling, breaking himself out of the nest of chains he'd been immersed in. He bared his fangs as he turned to find Renjiro almost to the door. The women and Kirara were preoccupied with the last couple of ninjas in front of them.

"I don't think so." He growled, and leapt over the fight to land with a heavy, stumbling thud in front of the man. "Going somewhere?" he sneered.

Renjiro froze for a moment and then reached inside his clothes, throwing out small darts as his hand emerged. Inuyasha leapt to the side to avoid them, and then dropped to the floor, his balance betraying him. Fuck. He leapt back at Renjiro anyway, managing to snag the scroll from his hand as he fell away from him.

"Ha, it's mine now, asshole!" he gloated, and tried to tear it apart. It glowed pink a moment, and somehow the fragile looking parchment remained completely unaffected. Renjiro smiled.

"You can't destroy it, you stupid half-breed. The spell's too powerful for someone as pathetic as you to affect it in the slightest."

"Like that matters." Inuyasha shot back, noticing that all the other ninjas were unconscious or incapacitated, "Kagome, shoot this thing, okay?" he yelled out, and tossed it up in the air towards her. He could here her mutter curses at him as she scrambled to try and nock the arrow quickly enough to do as he asked. He wasn't surprised when she managed it. She's really getting damn good with that bow and arrow, he thought proudly. Her arrow started to glow and when it hit the scroll, the parchment glowed blue for a moment before exploding into incandescent sparks.

Renjiro screamed, holding his head. "No! You basta- " and then his body simply crumbled into fine gray dust and exploded outwards…all over Inuyasha.

Inuyasha started yelling. "Eeeeewww! Fucking A, I'm covered in powdered dead guy! Son of a bitch! Aw crap, how do I get this shit offa me?! Gross! This is just…shit!" He stood there wiping at his body.

He stopped yelling as Kagome came over and hugged him tightly.

"Hey, don't hug me! You'll get this shit all over you!"

"I don't care." She said fiercely, "You're okay, you're really okay, right? You're really okay?" She looked up at him and he realized tears were running down her face as she held him.

"Hey," his voice softened noticeably, "it's all right. Hey…"

"I thought you were dead!" she wailed, crying harder as he tried to figure out a way to hold her and not get Renjiro all over her. He winced. He hadn't really thought about it, but considering what it had been like when he was searching for Kagome before, he could _totally_ understand her upset. Well, except for the fact that she was acting this upset over _him._

"I'm fine, Kagome. Really, I'm just fine. Worst thing the bastards did was poofing on me just now. I'm okay." He sighed. Fuck it, they'd wash off later, he thought, and hugged her back.

"I thought you were dead." Kagome said again, still crying. "And I never got to tell you…I never told you I love you. I love you so much. I was so afraid it was too late, and I'd never told you." she said, hiccupping slightly.

He stood there, arms locked around her as he tried to make his mouth work. She'd said it. She loved him. She was in his arms, totally sober, and telling him she loved him. Why does she…? Fuck it, stop worrying about it right now, dumbass! She loves me!

"I- " he gulped, "Kagome, I-" Shit, no! He couldn't blow this again!

"Kagome-I-love-you-too." He blurted as quickly as he could, and then stood perfectly still, terrified. What was she going to do?

"You what?" she looked up at him in surprise. "Did you just say…you love me?" she whispered. He nodded slowly. He couldn't tell, was she happy or upset about this. Her face and scent seemed to pause for a moment, completely unreadable, and then she smiled hugely, smelling of joy and flowers and…well, actually, he'd rather not think about it too much. Everything in the room was rather rank right now, honestly. But…she was happy. He'd said he loved her and it made her _happy_. He stood there holding her, looking down at her face, relishing the moment.

You are such a son of a bitch, you know that? His conscience said disgustedly.

_What? Hey, what the hell's your problem?_

You make love to your wife, you make her your mate, and as you're staring into each others' eyes, you can't say a damn thing. But suddenly, when you're sweaty, drugged, covered in powdered Renjiro, and surrounded by unconscious, damaged ninjas, THAT'S when you decide to be romantic? I swear to the Gods you are the most frustrating, irritating, contrary bastard…

_Back at ya, bitch._

Oh, just shut up, said his conscience, and Inuyasha beamed and continued to hold onto his wife.

Over by the far wall, Sango was confronting Miroku.

"How dare you get yourself kidnapped!" she yelled at him. He stared at her, his eyes huge and dark as he looked up at her from the floor. "The next time you want to play the hero and watch over the women, you damn well play the hero and don't end up needing to be rescued, you ass!"

He sighed. Well, at least she got rid of some of her mad on the ninjas, he thought gratefully, feeling a little hurt and wondering how much worse it might have been if she hadn't.

"And what was with that bastard pinning you to the wall? I can't believe you were so stupid as to let that weird jerk corner you! You have to hit a man when he comes at you like that, you idiot. Trust me! If anyone should know about that kind of situation, it's me!"

Miroku winced. Oh, the irony about receiving advice on fighting off perverts, from his own wife no less. That was just…wrong.

Sango wasn't done yet. "How could you let them capture you like that! You could have been killed! And get up off the floor already, dammit!"

Miroku stared at her, his eyes finally focusing enough to see her face clearly. Her face was flushed, her jaw tight and her eyes….wet and on the verge of tears. He focused in as much as he could. If you ignored her voice, Sango didn't look angry. Actually, she looked really, really frightened. He thought of her initial reaction to their marriage for some reason, remembering how upset she'd been, and it clicked. "I never realized. You ge' angry whenev'r you're scared, don' you?" Sango flushed darker.

"No! I'm just pissed because you're a stupid…"

"I'm all right." He interrupted, frustrated because he couldn't think well enough to speak as facilely as he normally would. Being limited in words was quite irritating. "All right now, Sango. Don' have to worry now. I'm okay." He smiled at her. "You saved me."

She stared at him a moment more and then burst into tears, dropping to her knees next to him and hugging him tightly. "It was so awful! We woke up and you two were just gone, but your weapons were still there and we thought…we thought…"

"Shhhh, 's okay. We're okay now. Thank you. Thank you for coming for us." He said, patting her back clumsily, unable to express his gratitude more fluently. He was _so_ glad she'd come when she had. He'd show her just how grateful the moment they got some privacy. He was really looking forward to the 'I missed you' sex he'd thought of earlier, too. When she finally stopped crying, Sango wiped her eyes and smiled at him.

"I'm so glad you're safe, Miroku." She said softly, kissing his damaged face carefully. "I love you, you stupid monk."

"Love you too, Ssango." He smiled back at her.

She stood up, holding out her hand.

"We should leave, Miroku-sama. We can figure out what to do about this place when we're safe…and dressed." She added, although she looked down at his near naked body with something closer to approval than censure. He took her hand and stumbled to his feet only to fall back against the wall.

"Sssorry, can't move well right now." He said apologetically "Might need some help."

"Why? What did they do to you?" Sango started to get upset again.

"No, 'm fine! Drugs. They gave us drugs. Tha's all."

"Yeah." Yelled out Inuyasha from across the room, "I'd give you some tips on how to get him to keep his clothes on, but I think it's a little late for that."

"Shut up, Inuyasha!" Miroku called back as Sango started to laugh.

Shippou and Kirara stood to the side, leaning on each other as they watched both the couples.

"Why do I feel like a third wheel right now?" Shippou grumbled, feeling left out.

"Thank you for your help, Shippou!" Inuyasha said loudly as soon as he heard the little fox's complaint. "I bet they couldn't of tracked us down without ya. Thanks, brat."

"Yess, thank you, Shippou." Echoed Miroku as Sango helped him up more carefully. "Truly grateful."

The little fox turned bright red as he smiled shyly and looked down at the ground.

"Well, don't everybody just stand around like idiots, let's go kill that stupid Hisao and leave this shitty place!"

"He's dead." Miroku mumbled, and continued as Inuyasha looked at him sharply. "Renjiro, he musst have used the scroll. R'member, he said loyalty had rewards? Used the scroll, died when it died. Hisao, he'd die too."

"So Hisao's ashes and dust now too?" Inuyasha asked, trying to figure out what the monk was trying to say.

Miroku nodded.

"Well, good then. Let's get the hell outta here and find some place to bathe. I gotta get this shit off me soon or I'm gonna yack."


	27. Ch 27 What are THESE Doing Here?

Disclaimer: I do not own the story, characters, or anything else involving Inuyasha. Nor do I make money off of it. Although maybe a dessert by that name would be interesting, huh? Then I could say…hey, I had a taste of Inuyasha today. Mmmm, yummy. And maybe a Miroku sundae, too, eh?

**A/N Well, the story is coming to a close. (Ok, really this time. I mean it.).  
**

**Ch 27 – What are _These_ Doing Here? **

Kirara led the way down the stone hallway, Shippou at her back, with Kagome and Sango each supporting their husbands as they tried to make their way out of the stronghold.

"There is no way I'm leaving here without my fire rat stuff, Kagome." Inuyasha said as he stumbled against her. "My father left those clothes to me! I am not letting these molesting, psycho killer ninja freaks get their hands on them! Besides…Miroku looks like he's freezing. He needs to get his robes on."

Looking back at Miroku, Kagome had to agree. The poor man was just able to walk with Sango's help, shivering slightly as his fundoshi offered little protection against the sharp cold of the keep's walls. Although…Miroku in a fundoshi was pretty darn cute. Not as cute as Inuyasha, of course, she thought, looking at her filth covered husband in admiration. But still…cute. Of course, there was the little matter of the dirt and grime they'd accumulated from resting against the stone walls. And the slightly more disgusting remnants of the man who'd basically…exploded. Actually, no matter how adorable they both were, they were in serious need of a bath.

How can he be so beautiful even when he's this filthy? Letting herself revel for a moment, she replayed the most important part of the last few minutes in her mind.

_He loves me!_ She held the thought in her head like a firefly. She'd waited for it for so long, and now that it had happened, it was kind of hard to believe. He really loved her? For it to be true, for him to return the feelings she'd carted around for all these months was so…wonderful. She smiled as she looked up at him, watching his dark brows lower over his eyes as he scowled and watched ahead of them carefully even while he continued griping.

"I mean it, Kagome. I need to get my clothes!"

Shippou sighed heavily as he turned around to face the hanyou. "Keep your shirt on, Inuyasha…oooops, too late for that, huh?" Shippou snorted at his own joke as Inuyasha stared at him, annoyed. "Don't worry about it. Kirara and I tracked down your clothes before we were even close to finding you, so we know right where to go."

"And where the hell is that?"

mumble mumble mumble

"What was that?" The kitsune's scent radiated nerves and Inuyasha wondered what had happened to his clothes to make Shippou so reluctant to talk about it.

"What happened to them?" he asked suspiciously, "What, they in the sewage or somethin'?"

"Uh, almost. They were out with the garbage thats to be burned." Shippou said quietly.

Sighing heavily, Inuyasha grumbled to himself. "Great, me _and_ my clothes are gonna be dirty and disgusting. Just fucking great."

"At least you're all right." Sango said quietly from behind him, hugging Miroku tightly for a moment. "When Kagome and I saw your clothes there, we thought… " her voice stopped and Miroku kissed her sloppily on the cheek sympathetically.

" W're 'kay now." He said, patting her cheek. "Ev'r thin' fine. You go'…"

"Miroku, I swear, you've just gotta stop talking. You sound drunk off your ass and I can barely understand a word you say. It's damn annoying." Inuyasha grunted as Kagome elbowed him in the side and glared at him.

"Don't be rude."

"What? He does sound drunk off his ass."

Making their way up the stairs and through the compound, everyone was tense and wary, worried about being attacked. There had to be more ninjas _somewhere_. There was no way the two women had taken out an entire encampment all on their own…was there? His eyes kept scanning the grounds, the walls, the windows of the buildings, looking for signs of movement and scent and finding nothing. After they'd left the grounds without any altercation and were making their way around to the garbage, he finally started to feel like he could breath a small sigh of relief.

And develop a newfound respect for Sango and Kagome. Or maybe that was fear _of_ Sango and Kagome.

Let's just remember not to make both of them angry at the same time, shall we? Said his conscience seriously.

_Hell of a good idea._

"Way to kick some serious ass, guys. There's not a ninja left in the place!" he said out loud.

Kagome rolled her eyes at Sango, smiling slightly nonetheless as they found the ash-ridden pile of junk they'd been looking for. Inuyasha walked over to it, complaining bitterly about the various and sundry smells invading his nose as he did so, and finally found his fire rat robes off to the side on top of a pile of ashes. He shook them sharply, flapping them around with both arms as hard as he could, trying to get the grey, clinging dust off. Wincing at seeing their condition, he shrugged internally and started putting on his clothes anyway. Wasn't like he could really _get_ any more disgusting, now was it?

Now, now, don't sell yourself short. I'm sure you can be _much_ more disgusting if you tried, said his conscience. Hey, just get naked and look in the mirror, that ups the grossness factor right there.

_Oh screw off._

Well c'mon, you just set yourself up for these things. Honestly, I don't even need to try anymore.

_Then just shut up and don't try._

Can't we end a conversation without saying 'shut up' all the time?

_Sure. Shut _the fuck_ up. How's that?_

Asshole, his conscience grumbled, and Inuyasha grinned.

Sango had propped Miroku against a tree and found his robes for him, helping him into them after shaking them out vigorously as well. Kagome was rather impressed with how quickly she was able to help him roll and tie the large pieces of fabric. Although I guess she gets a _lot_ of practice these days, she thought. She blushed and looked away when Miroku noticed her staring and raised a questioning eyebrow. How embarrassing

As she stared at the pile of ashes and garbage, trying to avoid Miroku's attention, a bit of bright white caught her eye. What a vivid color for something thrown away in this day and age. Usually they wouldn't throw something away unless it was worn down to nothing, and this thing looks new, she thought, staring at it absently. Her gaze sharpened as she saw a familiar cartoon character embossed on the fabric. Wait a second…

"Is that a pair of my underwear??" She blurted out. While everyone around her stared curiously, Inuyasha looked at the object, sucked in his breath suddenly and felt around the sleeves of his suikan and the waistband of his hakama. His ears slowly lowered towards his head as Kagome walked over and picked up the little piece of white cloth. "It is! I lost this 4 days ago!" She looked down and noticed another familiar bit of fabric, this time in pale green. And another in pink, and another in yellow. How in the world…?

She paused, her head swinging around to look at a very guilty and chagrined Inuyasha. "You wouldn't, by any chance, know how these got here, would you, Inuyasha? "

"Uh, well…" he stuttered and flinched as she found another 2 pairs.

"Inuyaaashaaa…I've been looking for this pair for almost a week! I thought some stupid animal was taking them!" He flinched again as she glared, "It's you, isn't it? You've been- stealing my underwear! I only have 2 pair left, you baka! What were you thinking??"

Miroku was watching, a bit confused about exactly what the bits of cloth were, until Sango filled him in. She might not understand the term 'underwear', but she recognized the clothes in Kagome's hands. Miroku started laughing softly as he realized exactly what it was Inuyasha had been taking. That little hentai, he thought fondly. It did the heart good to see how Inuyasha was approaching married life. His mistakes were just so spectacular. Miroku was absolutely positive that better entertainment had yet to be found in this world than watching Inuyasha and what bizarre twist he put on the time honored institution of marriage.

Inuyasha's ears were flat against his head and he stumbled backwards as Kagome stomped up to him, waving her underwear in the air like a weapon. "What the heck were you doing!"

Glancing at the others a little desperately, he tried to keep his voice down. "I – they- they get in the way." He finally whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

He lowered his voice even more. "When we want to…at night. They always get in the way. I don't like you wearing them all the time; I always have to stop and take 'em off and you're covered there anyway with your skirt, right? So, you don't really need 'em or anything. Not like boys…girls don't have anything hanging down that might get hurt or anything so I…took 'em."

Kagome looked at him in disbelief, her cheeks growing redder and redder as she realized what he was saying. He couldn't be serious?! "You decided that it would be easier to have sex if I didn't have any underwear, so you took them??"

"Well, that and- they smell nice."

"WHAT?!"

"They smell like you when you're all, you know, really happy and stuff? When you get all excited? They smell like you. So…it's kind of nice to hold onto them and think of you and…."

Kagome thought she was going to fall onto the ground from embarrassment. He was stealing her panties and _fantasizing_ about her?

"Thinking of me?" she said in barely a whisper as she prayed no one else could hear them. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Just, well…thinking about stuff we've done, and remembering, and they all smell different! Like, that one? " he pointed out the most ragged looking one in the lot. "That smells like you when you were excited and a little scared and nervous – that's the first time we did anything, but before we mated. And that green one? That smells like pine trees and you when you're REALLY excited. That's when we went out to pick berries and instead we…"

"All right already!" she said, hands over his mouth as her cheeks just burned and burned. "So…these are, what, souvenirs? For every time we've…had sex?" she barely whispered out the last comment, completely mortified.

"Uh, I don't know what a soo-ven-ear is." His ears twitched again slightly, cheeks flushing. "It's just…it's something real, Kagome."

He reached out and touched her cheek softly, running his finger down it as he looked at her, trying to find the words to express himself. " I always feel like I'm gonna wake up and find out this is all a dream. I- I need something I can feel and smell sometimes to help remind me that it's actually happening. To remind me that you're actually mine." Watching her carefully, he tried to figure out if Kagome was still going to kill him or not. He couldn't tell.

"It's just…every time is really…wonderful. I want to remember..." He finished softly.

…_wonderful. _He thought it was wonderful.

She felt herself melt a little. Trust Inuyasha to do something so sweet in the weirdest, dumbest way possible. Taking something that in any other boy she would have viewed as obnoxious and maybe even a little creepy and turning it around until she found it rather romantic.

_Great, Kagome, you've officially gone over the deep end. You are now seeing the theft of your panties as a romantic gesture. You are so crazy in love with him, it's not even funny._ Watching as he looked at her, eyes nervous, ears still twitching, she sighed.

"Do you still want them?" she asked finally, rolling her eyes internally at her own idiocy.

"I- I don't think so. The good scent starts to fade after a while and anyway, they'd all smell like this ash heap now, and that's just nasty."

"Okay, then I'm taking them back with me and washing them. And I need to keep some of them, understand?" she asked, giving him a good glare as she pointed her finger at him.

"Yeah." He bit his lip and asked tentatively, "If- if it's a really good night, though…could I take a pair just for a little while, just to remember?" Looking into his huge golden, damn the cliché but they _did_ look like puppy dog eyes, she sighed again.

"Oh jeesh, fine. Just not all of them or I'll run out again, you dork." She muttered to herself as she turned around, ignoring his huge grin as he stumbled after her, still slightly uncoordinated from the drug. "I cannot believe I'm okaying this. Stupid idiot, stealing my _underwear_, for Gods' sake. Jeesh. I'm such a sucker."

Miroku and Sango watched this with interest, unable to hear what the couple was discussing so ferverently. Miroku was dying of curiosity until Shippou came strolling over. He looked up at the monk and spoke out the side of his mouth as Sango turned away to greet Kirara.

"If you give me your next helping of Kagome's snacks, I'll tell you what they said later." Shippou whispered.

"Done." Miroku shot back quietly. Aaah, the benefits of having an easily bribed, demon eavesdropper on one's side. I wonder if I could ever use this in games of chance somehow, he speculated momentarily, and then smiled innocently in Sango's direction. Her eyes narrowed a moment, sure he was up to something but unable to figure out what, and she watched him closely for the next few minutes as they finished arranging their belongings.

"Let's get back to that last village with the hot springs." Inuyasha said as they debated which way to go. "I gotta get this shit offa me." Murmurs of assent came from everyone and they headed along the trail, Inuyasha and Miroku riding wearily on Kirara's back.

_5 hours later_

The group stood in the middle of a dense forest, every eye glaring at Inuyasha. Kagome huffed angrily.

"I thought you said this was a _short cut_, Inuyasha!" Kagome said, pulling her skirt free from the 5 millionth bramble stuck to it. "This is taking twice as long to get back to that last village as it took to get here in the first place!!"

"Well, it's been a few decades, okay?! And it was faster when I was all by myself, dammit!" He snarled, cursing as his hair tangled in one of the hundreds of branches surrounding them. "

"I can't see how it could have been." Sango said, looking around at the gordion knot of living things they were trapped in. "For the last hour, there's been no road. There's no path, there's not even a game trail! How in the world was going _this_ way faster?"

"Yeah, what did you do, leap from tree to tree or something?" asked Shippou sarcastically. When Inuyasha's shoulders hunched, the kitsune sighed. "You did, didn't you?"

"You know, the drug's almost all gone now, so don't think I won't come over there and pound you, you little brat." Inuyasha glared and then winced as Kagome started yelling.

"You leapt from tree to tree?! What the heck were you thinking when you suggested this? We can't jump the way you can, you big dummy!"

"I was going to carry you! It's not like Kirara couldn't have flown and kept up." He argued, rubbing his ears. Damn, but Kagome could get loud.

"Inuyasha, right now it's so foggy that Kirara can't see well enough to fly, now can she? So how is this supposed to be faster!!!" She stomped furiously.

_You know, that was a lot cuter and less scary when she did it naked. _

Yeah, his conscience mused wistfully. Wish no one else was around, we could take care of that.

_Really? Don't you think that would, you know, piss her off?_

Of course it would. But like you said, naked angry Kagome is a lot more fun than clothed angry Kagome.

_Huh. Have to think about that._

He flinched as she yelled right into his ear.

"Are you listening to me, Inuyasha! I'm cold, I'm soaked from all this stupid mist, I'm stuck in the middle of these stupid woods, and now I find out that it's not even a stupid shortcut!" She looked over to Miroku seated on Kirara and blew out her breath, trying to calm down. The monk wasn't recovering as quickly as Inuyasha, so they'd had Kirara carry him so far, but the woods were very thick and tangled. As a result, Miroku had to dismount constantly and have Sango support him through whatever small bits of trail they found as Kirara transformed to a smaller size. The only other option was to go on an irritatingly long and winding path just to find places big enough for the large youkai to walk through and not knock Miroku off.

"It wouldn't be so bad if Miroku's sorry ass was doing better, ya know. Then we'd be able to move faster, at least."

"Inuyasha!" Kagome quelled.

"Well, it's true!"

"Inuyasha, I believe…aaaagh!" Miroku fell face first off of Kirara as he tried to dismount on his own.

"Oh really, this is ridiculous." said Sango, walking over to help the Monk up. " Inuyasha's right, Kagome, having Miroku on Kirara is taking too much time."

"Shango, I think I can…" Miroku started to say, trying to push himself away from Sango for a moment.

"Don't be foolish, Houshi, listen to yourself. You're still slurring your words."

"But Shhango, I only…"

Sango huffed in annoyance. "This is stupid. Here, I'll take care of it. Inuyasha, you take the Hiraikotsu and I'll take Miroku, all right?"

"Eh?" Inuyasha looked in surprise at the large weapon handed his way.

"Go on, take it. He probably weighs less than it does, anyway." She passed the giant bone over to Inuyasha and turned back to her husband. "Come on, Miroku, up you go." And Sango hefted Miroku sideways over both shoulders.

"H-hey! Wha-what're you doing?" the monk stuttered, pushing at her. She held his arm over one shoulder and his leg over the other, staggering for only a moment before she regained her balance. As she started walking, the others followed silently, sporting identical grins as they watched Sango carry her husband.

"Sango is _really_ strong, huh, Inuyasha?" Shippou whispered.

"I guess she must be." He stared at her, impressed and enjoying the sight immensely. As crummy as certain parts had been, when it came to ammunition against Miroku, things just kept getting better and better. The way the day was shaping up, he'd have shit he could tease the stupid houshi about for the rest of their fucking lives!

Blushing furiously by this point, Miroku pushed at Sango with his free hand. "Shhango! This 's undignified! Pu' me down!"

"We won't get anywhere tonight if we don't go faster than this! We can't fly in this fog, and it's either me or Inuyasha, and he's still recovering from those nasty drugs, so that leaves me. At least until Kirara has enough room to maneuver in again."

"I ca' walk!" he yelled,

"No, you can't." she said, shaking her head.

Miroku was growling under his breath, his head almost upside down off the side of her shoulder as he tried to figure out the least humiliating way to get out of his current position, when he realized that Sango was only holding one arm. Which meant one arm was free. And that arm just happened to have access to…hmmmm, maybe he'd let her carry him a while after all.

Sango stiffened as she felt Miroku's free hand slide down her back and grab one side of her bottom, squeezing gently.

"Miroku! Cut it out! We're not alone!"

"A' right." His hand retreated for a moment before starting to caress her other cheek.

She growled, turning back to the others. "I changed my mind, Inuyasha. Here, you take him."

His eyes wide, Inuyasha backed away. "No way! I'm not taking Miroku if he's getting all lecherous! Look, I already went through all that with Kagome. It's a whole different thing if the monk starts to grab my ass! You keep him! I'm hanging onto the hiraikotsu!" Inuyasha grabbed Kagome's hand and walked past Sango quickly, trying to avoid looking at her. Kagome gave her a rather embarrassed shrug and Shippou simply ran ahead to catch up.

Scowling, she turned and followed them, stumbling a moment as Miroku's hand drifted down again. "Stop it, Miroku! We have to keep moving."

"Go 'head an' move, Shango. I'm fine." Miroku said, happily letting his free hand roam over the curves of Sango's bottom. Finest bottom in 12 provinces, he was positive. And he'd seen enough to make that statement worth something.

Sango felt herself flushing terribly as his hand groped and squeezed, and when it started to worm its way in between her legs to press into her she squeaked, closing her eyes in embarrassment as the others looked back to see if she was okay.

"Miroku, "she said through gritted teeth, "I swear, if you don't stop it right now, as soon as these drugs wear off and I know you can feel it, I'm going to beat you into a pulp!" She'd been so frightened for him, and now she was tired, hungry, cold, and likely to be a _lot_ more tired before too long: Miroku was no lightweight! And to top it all off, she had to walk along and let him grope her in public? Okay, so it wasn't like he didn't do that a lot anyway, but just…she wanted to find someplace to rest for the night and wash off, and her horny husband was making it awfully difficult to even keep walking, the hentai!

And she didn't even have a free hand to slap him with!

"Miroku, really, you've gotta stop, okay?" she panted a little as his hand burrowed in farther. "Please!" she said in a slightly higher pitch. "Miroku! You need to stop or…or I won't be able to walk." She finished in a desperate whisper.

"A' right." He said, pulling his hand back. She let out a sigh of relief.

Less than a minute went by, however, before Sango's voice was heard again.

"Miroku!! Stop!"

"Why am I not surprised that loopy Miroku is just as much a lecher as sober Miroku is?" Inuyasha muttered.

"Yeah." Agreed Shippou. "Looks like she's too worried about him to smack him, too. I bet he gropes her all the way to the village."

"Again, I don't take sucker bets." Inuyasha retorted, and Kagome giggled slightly as they slowly made their way through the underbrush.


	28. Ch 28 Revenge, a Dish Best Served Naked

Disclaimer: Don't own the rights to Inuyasha at all, don't make money off of any of this, etc…

**A/N Thanks for the reviews everyone! This has been so much fun to write, and I think half the fun has been hearing about how it's making someone else's day just a little happier. Hope you enjoy it.**

**  
Chapter 28 – Revenge is a Dish Best Served Naked. **

After a little over an hour of carrying her hentai-handed husband, Sango was ready to either melt into the ground or throw him off the nearest cliff. Maybe both. He just wouldn't stop touching her! Her bottom, her thighs, between her legs…they all got more than their fair share of attention, but Miroku didn't seem to care _where _he was touching her, just as long as he was doing something lecherous. He'd glide his hand slowly back and forth across her back, slipping it over her hip to almost reach her belly before pulling it back; or reach up and rub his fingers over the hand that anchored him to her; or _nibble_ on her arm and shoulder where his head rested. He was insatiable!

When they finally emerged from the woods to find the small road that they'd wanted in the first place, Sango sighed in heartfelt relief. About damn time. Miroku was tossed onto Kirara so quickly the neko youkai barely had time to transform. Sango wiped her hands as though cleaning them of something noxious while Miroku adjusted his seating. Glaring only a moment at him and his seductive, wandering hands, she turned and walked ahead, fuming as she headed towards the village. It was so frustrating! The entire time she'd been the victim of her husband's amorous assault, the only aid her friends had offered was to look back at her periodically and snigger into their hands before continuing on their way.

_Thanks for the help with my husband, you jerks, _she thought_. Especially you, Kagome. _

She, at least, should have had some modicum of sympathy for what Sango had to go through. She probably could have made Inuyasha carry Miroku some of the way if she'd really exerted herself. But no, she'd just gone along with Inuyasha like a little child, doing exactly what he'd told her to, and ignored Sango's great need to be rescued from her drugged, sex-maniac of a husband.

Grrrrrrr.

On reaching the village edge, Kagome immediately took charge, sending Inuyasha to the hot springs to clean off, ordering him to take Miroku along. Sango huffed to herself as she watched. So, where was all this independent spirit when it could have helped _me?_ she wondered.

She stayed silent and tense, following along as Kagome started to search out someone in the village who might be willing to put them up. The group was unusually flush for the moment, so they should have enough cash to even pay for lodgings. For once.

Looking back at the men making their way to the springs, she bit her lip as she watched Miroku. She really shouldn't care, he was being such a perverted ass, but… "Make sure Miroku doesn't drown, Inuyasha!" she yelled at them, feeling a little better at Inuyasha's wave of acknowledgement. She turned and walked after Kagome, shaking her head as her friend grinned at her.

"Mother hen." Kagome chided softly.

"Be quiet, you traitor. I'm still mad at you, you know. You didn't help me at all with Miroku."

"Nope." Kagome grinned unrepentantly. "Hey, you knew he was a lech when you married him. Anyway, that was too funny! Your face looked like a bright red cherry for most of the way here." Sango's face flushed anew as Kagome teased her. "Looked to me like you were kinda enjoying it, anyway."

"I was not." She muttered.

"Were." Kagome shot back, giggling.

Sango smiled slightly, "Well, maybe a little. The thing that man can do with his hands…" she colored up again as Kagome giggled harder, finally giving up and laughing as well. Kagome could be so…perceptive. She loved her, but it was darn frustrating sometimes.

"So what I want to know is, what can he do with his tongue?" Kagome asked when the giggles ended.

Wooosh. Sango's faced flamed back up. "Kagome!"

"Hey, we haven't really had a chance to talk about it yet."

"And we're not going to! For goodness sake, Kagome, that's not something you talk about!" she looked around her furtively, relieved to find no one in sight.

"Are you sure? I always thought it might be fun to talk about it with someone really close. And anyway, it's not like we don't know what's going on at nights, right? C'mon, give. What's Miroku like?"

Biting her lip, Sango considered. She'd never thought of discussing her nocturnal activities with someone else. Not that she hadn't heard sexual stories before; she remembered countless time walking in on some of the male slayers as they were bragging, hearing bits and pieces before they cut themselves off as they saw her. But did women talk about these things together? She couldn't remember enough of her mother to recall. Maybe…

"You really want to know?" After an enthusiastic nod from Kagome, she thought about it. "He's…well, he's just. I don't know, he's Miroku. I don't really know what to say about how he's 'like.' He's just like himself."

"Well, what does he do when he's being 'like' himself?" Kagome asked, trying to be patient. This entire week, she'd been growing more and more curious about what was actually happening over in Sango's corner of their little camp after night fell. It was certainly loud enough. She'd been a little too embarrassed to work up the courage to ask before now. However, after being exposed to almost an hour long show, courtesy of Miroku, her curiosity overwhelming.

Sango probably didn't have a lot to compare him with, though, she thought. No wonder she's not really sure what to say. At least Kagome had stories and movies in the future that gave her some idea of how different men could act.

When Sango shrugged helplessly, Kagome went on. "Is he forceful? Is he passive? Is there something he always likes to do a lot, like…like kiss your toes or something?"

"Kiss my toes? Wha…does Inuyasha do that??"

Flushing, Kagome shook her head. "Future knowledge, don't worry about it. Just, what does he do? Like…what does he do when you start to do things for him? Does he like that?" She was really curious about _that_. Inuyasha about lost his mind whenever she initiated something, so she was really wondering if the two of them were the same.

"Doing things for him?" Sango whispered, looking confused. "Doing what kind of things?"

"Uh, you know, like…kissing him, and stuff."

"Kissing him? Well yeah, he likes it when I kiss him back. He likes to uh…suck on my tongue a lot." She whispered again, highly embarrassed.

"Not that kind of kissing." Kagome said, "The other kind, you know…down there? When you put your mouth on him…down there."

Eyes wide, Sango stared at her. "What are you talking about?"_ She couldn't mean what I think she means, can she?_

"You don't know? You've never…I mean, he's never asked you to… " Kagome was pretty flushed herself at this point. She hadn't been looking for anything _that_ graphic when she started this conversation. Just a few generic details. And she especially wasn't prepared to give some kind of impromptu lesson in oral sex to her best friend!! "Just…Inuyasha really likes it when I put my mouth on him…there, you know? I was only wondering if Miroku liked it, too. Jeesh, he's such a pervert I was sure you'd have done more stuff than me…" she muttered.

"No, I never… I don't usually kiss him hardly anywhere at all." She said in a small voice. She considered for a moment. "He likes to do all the kissing. Actually, he pretty much likes to be the one to do everything." She couldn't believe Kagome had participated in something sexual she hadn't even known existed. Hmmmph, and _her_ husband was the hentai?

Thinking of the last week of her life, she couldn't really see where she'd ever had the chance experience something like Kagome described. It felt like she couldn't go more than half an hour before Miroku was groping her again, and once his hands and his mouth started their well-practiced dance, her brain took its leave. He never gave her a moment to think. How was she supposed to try something on her own she only had a few seconds before she was completely incoherent? She looked at Kagome.

"So…Inuyasha likes it when you do that?" she asked hesitantly.

"Oh definitely. It drives him absolutely crazy. Even just holding him and moving my hand a little will set him off sometimes." Her voice trailed off. Was she totally grossing Sango out?

"Hmmmm." Sango looked more thoughtful than anything else, and Kagome sighed in relief.

Feeling a little more courageous, Kagome went on in a hushed voice. "And you should see what he does when you rub his ears."

Thinking about how often she'd seen Kagome do just that in the past week, Sango stared at her in surprise. "But…you've been doing that to him all week! Kagome, you were groping your husband in public! You little hentai!"

Kagome flamed and she stuttered. "No! I am not!"

Grinning, Sango poked her in the shoulder as she laughed. "My best friend's a closet hentai!"

"Shut up!" Kagome covered her face in her hands a moment, so Sango leaned in.

"Hen-tai." She whispered, poking her in the ribs, and Kagome finally started to laugh as well, smacking at her.

"Just be quiet and let's find a place to stay, wife of hentai, all right?" Stupid Sango, she grinned. Can't believe I told her about the ears…now I'm going to be self-conscious about it every time, darn it.

Laughing to herself, Sango followed along, unable to resist the periodic taunt as they went. _Putting your mouth down there? I wonder if he'd like that…_

_Elsewhere_…

Ears drooping slightly at his complete lack of female companionship, Inuyasha led the way to the hot springs, fortified by cleaning supplies from Kagome. Kirara and Miroku followed behind him, with Shippou tagging along because there was no way the kit was going along for something as boring as getting a place to sleep when he could be enjoying a nice bath. Looking back them, Inuyasha muttered to himself. He'd much rather have been followed by Kagome. Was he _ever_ going to get to enjoy Kagome and water at the same time? It would have been so nice, he thought, dreaming a moment of Kagome, naked and wet.

An exaggerated sniff from Shippou, followed by a suspicious glare at the scent the kitsune was encountering, snuffed the lust right out.

"Oh just shut up." Inuyasha said, ignoring Miroku's confused look. He scuffed his toes as he walked, making little furrows in the damp ground and taking out his frustrations on the innocent dirt surrounding the water. Stupid kid.

Washing himself and his clothes, he took a moment to look at Miroku's face. It didn't look too bad anymore, he thought, glad to see the monk hadn't been seriously injured. He'd wondered for a bit there, right before they'd reached the village.

After the group had left the woods, when Sango had stopped carrying her husband, everyone had seen Miroku's face for the first time since he'd fallen off of Kirara. At that point, they'd all realized that falling 'face first' off the demon actually translated into falling 'on his face.' Miroku had sported a lovely fat lip, a couple of scrapes along the cheek bone, and various cuts inside his mouth as well.

No wonder his words had been slurred, Inuyasha thought. He'd been surprised and a little worried at first, with the monk loopy for such a long time, but then he'd started to notice little things that gave him pause. Miroku's clear eyes, his increased vocabulary, and his steady hands as he groped his wife were a little suspicious. When you added in his newfound ability to accurately judge when to stop groping in order to keep from being dumped on his ass, pausing just long enough to let Sango calm down before starting in on her again, it pointed towards only one conclusion: Miroku was no longer as affected by the drugs as he was pretending to be. Based on Miroku's continuing existence in the world of the living, Inuyasha was positive Sango was unaware of his recovery.

I wonder how long _that_ will last, he thought, having no intention of giving Miroku away. It was kind of fun to watch, and if she ever _did_ find out, the whole thing was going to be even _more_ fun to watch.

Witnessing a Miroku ass-kicking was almost as much fun as seeing Kouga smacked into the ground. Not quite, but almost.

After completing a very extensive scrubbing, the four of them lay on the bank of the hot springs. Inuyasha was immensely glad to be out of the nasty filth he'd been carrying around, and even Kirara seemed relieved to be clean. I guess she got pretty dirty, carrying around Miroku the whole day, he thought. Clothes drying on the grass next to him, Inuyasha enjoyed the mid-afternoon sun as they all basked, sleepy and content.

_This is wonderful._ Inuyasha stretched out, almost purring at the combination of cool moss, clean skin, and warm sun.

No, muttered his conscience. If _Kagome_ were here, it would be. Right now, it's just…nice.

_Quit griping. Let me enjoy it for a while, eh?_

Fine. You owe me, though.

He lay there next to the others until the sun started winding its way down towards the horizon. The decrease in temperature forced all of them to get up and dress in garments still slightly damp from their washing. Late summer humidity wasn't exactly conducive to drying clothes. Heading back to the women, Inuyasha smiled to himself. They were going to have a room! He could hardly wait. He was clean, it was close to bedtime, and they had a room. Life was good.

As soon as he talked with Kagome, however, he found out that even with all their fantastic, wheedling skills, Kagome and Sango had only been able to get 2 rooms. Which still had possibilities, right? Hey, if Miroku was acting like someone who was too zoned out to get it up, there was no way Kagome would give him the private room. Right? Right. No way his sweet, caring, please-let-her-be-thinking-of-my-body more-than-her-friendship-with-Sango wife would completely screw him over. After a small pause, he cursed under his breath.

Fuck. They were gonna have the damn kitsune in the room with them, he just knew it.

Life sucked ass.

Growling out his great need for some sort of acceptable explanation, he was greatly disappointed. He would have accepted temporary insanity, or blackmail. Hell, even divine or demonic intervention would have made the situation _slightly_ palatable.

What he got was, "Sango needs some privacy tonight."

What a stupid reason. _He_ needed some privacy tonight too, dammit! Instead, he was going to be sharing a room with Shippou and Kirara. Hmmmph. He was starting to figure out how Kagome's mind worked when it came to spending time with each other. Outdoor 'alone time' was acceptable with enough distance between them and the others, but there was no way she'd consent to something like that with people in the same room.

Son of a bitch.

He sat in their room, sulking as Kagome and the 2 demons chatted. Didn't even have Miroku to talk with, he grumped. At least that damn houshi would understand how frustrating this was. But no, the lecherous asshole just had to grab Sango's ass, AGAIN, and Sango decided to barricade herself and the horny houshi in their room.

Bet he's getting to have his stupid 'I missed you' sex right now, his conscience muttered.

_Yeah, lucky bastard._

He grumbled again. Life sucked.

xxxxxxx

Miroku leaned against the wall as he sat on the floor, watching Sango close the door carefully. She turned towards him with a small smile. Hmmm, I wonder what she's up to, he thought. It was really too bad of him to have touched her for so much of their journey to the village, but at the same time, if she hadn't been so impatient, she would have realized that her assistance was entirely unnecessary. He'd been feeling strong enough to walk on his own by the time he'd first tried to get off from Kirara, after all. Only the fact that his leg had fallen asleep had made him stumble and faceplant so spectacularly. After that, well, with his face swollen, he hadn't been able to speak properly for over an hour. It was difficult to inform his wife of this, however, when she wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise. If Sango had simply listened to him for a moment, he would have happily told her the reason for his impaired speech.

At least he would have given it some serious thought.

Right at that moment, faced with the opportunity to reveal his true condition, he hesitated. In a moment of complete and total honesty, he could admit that he was enjoying himself. It had amazed him how much she'd let him get away with in front of the others when she thought he wasn't completely accountable for his own actions. He was really tempted to see where, and how far, he could take this. Looking up at her as she walked over to him, he decided to stay 'impaired' for a short while longer, at least until he satisfied his curiosity.

What was his little wife planning for him?

Things looked like they were going in a favorable direction when she started undressing him. "Your clothes are still damp, Miroku-sama. Let's take them off so they can dry, all right?" She blushed slightly. It continually amazed him how easy it was to embarrass her, even after everything they'd done together. She was so very sweet.

After only a moment's hesitation, he continued the game. She reached for his robes and he put on his best 'helpless and needy' face, deliberately being as ham handed and uncoordinated as possible. He smiled inwardly, enjoying the feel of her body against his as she leaned over him to reach the various ends of the fabric. When she started on his fundoshi, he noticed her looking at his groin, biting her lip and blushing madly. What on earth is she thinking about, he wondered, wishing he had a window to her thoughts.

She continued unwinding the fabric, her hand absently cupping him. _Sweet mother of us all._ He hardened against her instantly. He swallowed as she smiled in surprise for a moment, deliberately trailing her fingers down the length of him as she took her hand away and started to draw back.

His felt rather like a stunned deer. To his knowledge, she'd never touched him there on purpose before, and it certainly wasn't something he wanted to stop! He grabbed her wrist a moment, swallowing again and murmuring. "Not fair, Sango. Not fair at all, love. You can't just undress a man and then step away. Too cruel." Sango stilled for a moment as she stared at him.

She continued to stare and he squirmed slightly. A cross between surprise and fury seemed to shine from her eyes for a moment before she looked away. Had he upset her somehow? About to say something to lighten the mood, he sighed in relief when she carefully smiled and withdrew her wrist from his loosening grip.

"Don't worry, I won't be long." She said, brushing her fingers down his chest before they drew back again. "I'll be _right_ back."

Fascinated, naked and aroused as hell, he reclined on the futon as she turned away from him. What was she doing? He watched her stand very still for a moment, hands clenched into fists. Was she nervous? She took a deep breath, and then turned to rummage through their bags. Picking something out and keeping it behind her back like a small child hiding a stolen cookie, she sauntered back to him.

"I know you're not feeling well yet, Miroku-sama, so I thought maybe it should be my turn to be in charge." She ran her eyes along his body and laughed a little as he grew bigger. The items she'd retrieved dropped onto the floor behind her. Leaning down, she placed her palms against his chest and pushed back slightly until he lay completely flat on the futon as she knelt next to him, rubbing her hands across the sleek muscles of his chest a moment. He sighed and reached for her, pausing in surprise as she tapped him on the nose with one small finger.

"Ah ah, no touching. _I_ get to be in charge this time, remember?" Miroku smiled with just a twitch of his lips and put his arms back down. Well, this was going to be interesting. If he'd thought of it, he could have introduced her to something along these lines a lot earlier. Except, of course, that Sango's body was still enough of a temptation that he hadn't yet been able to resist taking her almost immediately. It was so difficult to wait as she –experimented- that he hadn't given the idea any real merit. Perhaps he should have contemplated it a little more seriously, he thought, watching her.

"All right, put your arms up above your head." She said, reaching behind her and bringing out one of her obi's. So _that's_ what she'd been searching for. He looked at her, looked up at the low, heavy table at the head of the futon, and looked back at the obi in her hands. An absolutely wicked grin bloomed and he put his arms above his head, grabbing one of legs of the table as he watched her.

"Are you looking for a little of your own back?" he asked, distracted by the view as she leaned over him, her breasts soft and full and right in front of his nose. He leaned his head up a moment to kiss her, and she tapped his face again…somewhat painfully. He wrinkled his abused nose as she tied his wrists tightly to the table.

"No touching!" she said again, reaching down to tie his legs together.

"You know, it might be a lot more exciting if you were to go in _between_ my legs, Sango love." He winced a bit as she tied his ankles tightly. Sango definitely forgot her own strength sometimes, he thought.

"No, this is exactly how I want you." she said, kneeling back to look at him and reaching down to wrap her hand around him. He sucked in his breath. Where in the world had she learned how to do _that?_

"You like that?" she asked innocently.

"Oh dear Gods yes." He moaned, his hips moving up as she moved her hand with heavy, deliberate slowness.

"And who do you want to do this to you?"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I want to hear you say my name." Her hand stopped moving as she waited.

"S-Sango!" he almost whimpered in relief as she started moving again, and then actually _did _whimper as she suddenly pulled her hand away. "Sango?"

"Just a moment, I think we need a bit more light." she said, her tone flat as she crossed the room to grab the oil lamp. She brought it back to put on the table above his head and he looked at it warily, trying to ignore the throbbing in his groin.

"Uh, Sango? Not to criticize your desire to illuminate this wonderful endeavor of yours, but do you think you might be able to find another place for the lamp? If I move too much, I worry it might topple."

She leaned in close. "I guess you better not move too much then." She sat up straight, put her hand lightly on his stomach, fingers running along the muscular lines there, and smiled. Trying to think, he shivered. Something about that smile…

"I think now is a wonderful time for me to find out something that I've been just dying to know." Her voice was soft and suggestive as her hand drifted lower.

_Please let it be how I taste,_ thought Miroku. That was one thing they hadn't gotten around to yet and the thought that this might be the moment made him grow harder, something he would have sworn was a physical impossibility. He had to admit, he was surprised by her behavior…not an unusual occurrence when it came to his wife. But still, he hadn't known she had it in her. So far, she'd never really sexually played with _him_ before; it was always the other way around.

She was really quite good at it.

"I've been very, very curious," Sango said, the hand twirling along his skin drawing all his attention back to her. "How is it that you can say my name now?"

"Wha…? Sango, please…"

"See, that's what I mean." She said, pulling her hand away as his body cried in frustration. Damn but his wife was a tease. "You called me Sango. S-an-go. I notice you didn't slur your words at all, Houshi. So tell me, just WHEN THE HELL DID THE DAMN DRUGS WEAR OFF!"

Mouth open in shock, Miroku stared up at her. _Oh hell._

"Uh…"

"Don't 'uh' me, you lying, scheming pervert! You were slurring your words the entire trip. You were even slurring after the hot springs, but the moment you get aroused, you're suddenly recovered?! Your speech has been perfect since I took off your clothes! As much as you love it, houshi, arousal can't rid your body of chemicals any faster. So how long have you been over the drugs, Miroku?" She slapped him in the chest and he flinched.

This was not good. He tentatively pulled at the bindings on his wrists and ankles, and closed his eyes as he realized they were _quite_ tight, just what you'd expect from Sango She slapped his chest again.

"HOW LONG?"

He sighed. The game was already up, apparently, which was a real shame because it had been quite a bit of fun. I suppose all this was just so she could get a little revenge, he thought, frustrated. Dammit, it would have been a fantastic night. Hell, what was he thinking? As soon as she finished yelling and untied him, it _would_ be a fantastic night. There was no way they weren't going to finish this.

Ah well, time to pay the piper.

"I've been almost completely recovered since just before you started to carry me." He admitted, flinching as she screamed in outrage into his ears.

"You perverted, underhanded, jerk! All that time…you were groping me for an _hour_! In front of Kagome and Inuyasha, too!"

He couldn't help himself. Smiling lasciviously, Miroku nodded. "Mmmmm hmmm. I could feel you getting wet all the way through your clothes. It made you completely aroused, didn't it?"

_Just like I'm going to do as soon as I get out of this._

"It did not!" she slapped him in the face and he shook his head, starting to get irritated. Ow. He knew she was going to be annoyed, but it wasn't as though he'd done anything to her that they hadn't done before. It was just a little bit of harmless, and very enjoyable, fun. Did she have to continue to hit him over it?

He answered her, his tone a little short as he tried to control his body until he could move again. "I beg to differ. Being touched like that turned you on completely. You were hotter than a bonfire, Sango. Just like now. Admit it, love, having me tied up here makes you wet, doesn't it?"

Her eyes glared at him fiercely and her fists clenched. _Maybe that wasn't the best choice of words, come to think of it._ He tried to lighten the mood. Surely she could see the humor in the situation if he presented it in the right light?

"I'll be honest, I took a small advantage of the situation. It was rather harmless, though, don't you think? Merely a little prank between lovers, yes? And we both enjoyed it." He smiled at her, waiting, hoping really, for her to agree and let him go so they could both finish what she'd started.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans. Sango's eyes narrowed and spit sparks as her mouth thinned into a grim line. Shit, she was really, really angry. This might be problematic. Why she was this upset over a little harmless groping, he really wasn't sure. However, Sango irritated was one thing. Sango angry enough to hurt him when he was tied up and certain important parts were hanging out for anyone to see and possibly use for target practice?

This could be painful.

"Uh…I'm terribly sorry for teasing you in that manner." He said quickly, trying a bit of conciliatory wheedling to protect certain vulnerable parts of his anatomy. "I can certainly see how it must have been…eh…upsetting for you to have your husband touch you in public." Well, actually, he couldn't, but lying was obviously called for at this point.

"Too little, too late, houshi. It was harmless? A prank between lovers? I'm sure you'll enjoy this, then." She brought out one more tie, shoving it into his surprised mouth and tying it quickly behind his head to gag him. "_I _am going to dinner, Miroku. A lovely, long dinner and extended conversation with our friends, while you stay here. Maybe if you're really sorry, I'll untie you when I get back. Otherwise, you better learn to enjoy laying here, because you'll be sleeping like this all night. And then tomorrow you can tell me how it feels when there's _no harm done_ from a harmless prank, you jerk!"

Sango wavered a moment as she looked at him. His usually twinkling blue eyes were rapidly growing dark and angry. He looks absolutely furious, she thought, wondering if she should reconsider. Her own anger came to her defense, however, and bolstered her resolve. Stupid jerk, thinking he could just pull this type of crap all the time. He could see how _he_ liked feeling helpless and molested., she thought, gathering up his clothes and the few other items of use in the room. She'd dump them in Kagome's room, just in case. Even if he did somehow manage to get loose, he'd still be trapped in the room, hah.

"Have fun, Miroku!" she called out and left the furious, sexually frustrated monk behind her to contemplate exactly _what_ he was going to do to her as soon as he got out. She was going to get him all heated up and _leave him like that all night?! _

_I wouldn't make any wagers on it, Sango,_ he thought angrily. _Manacles and perverted ninjas didn't do me in, an oil lamp and obi are sure as hell not going to stop me!_ He edged up carefully to start biting at the tie around his wrists.

_At dinner_

Sango was pretty sure Inuyasha and the others easily believed her lie that Miroku was staying in their room trying to 'sleep off' the drug, although Inuyasha looked at her oddly for a moment. She smiled innocently back at him, doing a good impression of her husband at his most deceitful, and Inuyasha grunted.

_None of my business_, he thought.

As Sango ate, she thought about Miroku tied up and frustrated back in their room, and smiled. Take that, you annoying lecher. She grinned again to herself. Bet he won't be trying his deceitful public groping again any time soon, she thought smugly.

She was more than halfway through her meal when the door to her left slammed open violently and she jumped in surprise.

Standing in the doorway, naked except for some ragged bits of obi still hanging off his wrists, was a large and very angry looking Miroku.

"What the hell happened to you?" Inuyasha asked, eyes wide as his ears twitched.

"Shut up, Inuyasha." Miroku growled out, stomping over to Sango. She couldn't even move, she was so shocked.

"What happened to your clothes, Miroku?" Shippou asked curiously.

"A small matter of misunderstanding exactly how serious some actions and their consequences can be." He said, glaring over at Sango as she finally started to move, making to scoot backwards.

She couldn't believe he'd actually come out without his clothes!! He was standing out in public completely naked! And he didn't even seem to care!

Miroku reached down, yanked on her arm and pulled her up. She stared at him, hardly daring to breathe. She didn't know when she'd last seen him so angry. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea…

"If you'll excuse us, Sango and I need to have a little…talk. There's something we still need to finish" He bent down, slamming into her stomach as he flipped her over his shoulder. She yelled at him and clawed his naked back as he turned to leave and then yelled again when he smacked her in the ass.

"Sango, you do _not_ want to make me any more angry than I already am." He said fiercely, although small bits of anger were already being transmuted to lust as he stared at his wife's bottom over his shoulder. Damn, how the hell was he supposed to stay angry at someone with this fine of an ass? he thought, shaking his head at himself as he left the room. The group continued to hear angry voices yelling until the two lovers entered their room and Miroku slammed the door behind them.

Kagome stared after them, still blushing madly at the image of 'furious naked monk' permanently imprinted on her brain. She turned to Inuyasha, pulling at his sleeve. "You have to go after them, Inuyasha!" She looked back at the door.

He shook his head. He'd thought about it, when he'd first seen the infuriated houshi. Whatever the circumstances, Inuyasha wasn't going to let Sango get hurt, and Miroku would hate himself later if he actually did anything to her when he'd lost his temper. But considering how quickly his friend's scent had been changing as he left the room, Inuyasha wasn't exactly worried anymore. The only problem he could see at the moment was whether the two of them were going to be loud enough to be heard through the walls…again.

"Don't worry about it, Kagome. He's already not so mad anymore."

"What? What are you talking about? He looked furious…and he was naked! Something's obviously wrong…"

"Feh, the only thing that's wrong is that Sango probably figured out he was faking it and stole his clothes, I bet."

"Wha- faking it? Faking what?"

"Being drugged."

"He wasn't drugged?" Shippou asked, mouth open.

"Eh? Oh no, he was. He was well and truly fucked up and everything. Just…I don't think he was as loopy as he acted when Sango was carrying him, ya know? I bet she found out and got pissed."

"When she carried him?" Inuyasha nodded, "You mean, he let her think he needed to be supported and then copped a feel the whole time? That – that…" Kagome glared at the door. The glare turned back to him and he wondered what was going on in her brain. "And you. You knew?" Inuyasha winced. Aw shit, he hadn't thought about that. Fuck.

"I didn't know, exactly. I just kind of…suspected, that's all."

She glared at him another moment before biting her lip, and Inuyasha had never been so surprised in his life as he was when Kagome started giggling slightly.

"He faked it _the whole time?_ And she was trying to be so nice and not dump him off and, and now she got him naked and stole his clothes?!" She giggled wildly, leaning on Inuyasha as she tried to catch her breath. "Those two are just so…so…"

"…perverted and weird." Inuyasha finished, and Kagome shook her head as she continued to laugh.

"Miroku's such a deceitful hentai anyway," Shippou said, sighing as he continued to eat. "It's not like she didn't know that. You'd think she'd realize he does stuff like this by now."

"I bet she will after this." Inuyasha said, feeling his shoulder vibrate as Kagome continued to laugh against him quietly. Jeez, it wasn't _that_ funny.

"Probably." Kagome said, sighing as she was finally able to quiet down and take a deep breath. _I don't know that she'll let him know that, though. He wasn't the only one enjoying himself in the woods._

She started giggling again and Inuyasha just shook his head, going back to his food. Feh, women were really weird sometimes.


	29. Ch 29 Payback's a Bitch, but

**Disclaimer – I make no claim to owning the characters, background, or story of Inuyasha. Don't make money from this or anything related to Inuyasha either, nyah.**

A/N All right, a lot to say here, so I'll try to be pithy.

1. I am truly sorry, but the FF version isn't getting any more lemons. The version of this story (same author and title) at Adult fan fiction dot-net will be getting a couple more lemons a couple of days after the chapter posts here, but I just don't feel up to doing the double edit thing again. I know some of you were really looking forward to it, so if you _have _to have it, like I said, the lemon will exist, just not here;-)

2. The next chapter will be the last one of the story. I wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed and made this such a lot of fun to write. I still can't believe the sucker has gone on for this long! Ideas for a sequel and some one shots with the same storyline's characters are definitely flitting through my brain already, for those interested.

3. There will be one update at the end that is _not_ more story, just some notes for the hell of it, some thanks, ideas that are likely to come up in the sequel, etc….

4. And the previous chapter went through a re-edit, so if you're bored, feel free to reread. No major plot changes, just a little smoother, a little change on Miroku's thoughts, a couple more funny bits here and there.

**Chapter 29 – Payback's a Bitch, but She Sure is Sexy**

Miroku dumped Sango onto the futon, following her down and pinning her almost immediately. Yet another corner of his anger crumbled away as his brain was occupied with contemplating the new position. Holding her hands above her head and kneeling over her hips definitely brought back fond memories.

As he felt Sango buck under him, cursing and trying to break free, déjà vu reared again, and with it came thoughts of what he'd done the last time he'd had her like this. Compared to some of the things they'd participated in since then, that night had been fairly tame, almost innocuous. Unfortunately, the relative innocence of that encounter hardly mattered. _Any_ memory of touching Sango heated him up immediately. Watching as she fought him furiously, he almost sighed.

In front of him was a perfect example of the true reason Sango usually kicked his ass: she had an almost supernatural ability to maintain her anger at an inordinately high level. No matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't manage that level of fury and direct it at the lovely woman below him for more than a minute or two. It simply wasn't possible. Frankly, how any man could stay angry for long at a beautiful woman was beyond his ability to comprehend. He had certainly never been able to manage it.

Of course, thee differences in their respective tempers might be due to something entirely different. Quite possibly, it had something to do with their…approach. Being held down was making Sango so angry that she was writing and yelling for all she was worth. From his standpoint, that wasn't a bad thing; Sango writhing and yelling underneath him rather turned him on. He wished it provoked the same reaction in Sango, but currently, his hardening against her only seemed to spawn more… writhing and yelling. Which of course turned him on more and the whole mess eventually led him, if he was lucky, to the place he wanted to go every time he looked at Sango anyway and who could stay angry when they contemplated going _there?_

_Maybe there's something in this vicious little circle that I should examine someday._

He tried to revive his fury, hoping to even the emotional playing field somewhat, and was shocked to realize that it hadn't subsided as much as he'd first thought. Yes, it still seemed to be simmering nicely inside. How amazing. And here he was just thinking that he'd never manage to get a nice rage going over a woman's actions_. I suppose it just needed the right trigger. Learn something new every day._ So, now that he knew it was there…what was he going to do about it? So many sexual acts they hadn't done yet, and that wasn't even considering the elaborate scenarios he'd imagined as he was trying to undo the damn restraint around his wrists. That sort of activity gave rise to all manner of vengeful thoughts, especially when he'd had to not only pull the knot apart with his teeth, but do it with a damn obi already in his mouth!

The sheer number of possibilities made him dizzy. At least he knew obi were going to play a large role…and he rather liked the one with feathers, scented oil, multiple orgasms, and frankly, he was sure he could think of _something_ to do with that silky brown dessert the same color as Sango's eyes. Chocolate, wasn't that what Kagome called it? However, what he planned in the height of fury and frustration and what he would actually do when Sango was in front of him were two entirely different things.

Well, possibly. He was rather proud of that bit with the feathers and the oil. The chocolate bore thinking about for future endeavors, as well. Truly, the day he didn't try out a sexual fantasy he'd devised was the day he died, and that was the end of it. He'd simply have to wait to try them out until another day.

He didn't have any chocolate nearby, after all.

As it stood now, anger churned through his insides at the memory of what Sango had done and he growled slightly. She continued to struggle and he deliberately narrowed his eyes, trying to look threatening. It was amazing how easy it was to accomplish: he _felt_ threatening right now.

"Stay still." She paused a moment, surprised, before he felt her muscles tense in preparation of another struggle. He leaned down, his face cold. "Don't. I honestly need a moment to collect myself, Sango, or this will _not_ end well." She stared at him warily and actually listened, remaining quiet and still as he rested his forehead on hers and took a few deep breaths.

Damn but she smelled good.

How irritating that he could still notice that.

"So," the words were drawn out of him slowly as he raised his head, " my dear, dear Sango, would you care to tell me just what the _hell_ you thought you were doing?!!"

After a moment of frozen silence, based largely at her shock over the volume Miroku's voice attained, Sango's eyes narrowed fiercely up at him. Somehow, Miroku thought in the back of his mind, I think she's much better at that look than I am.

"What was I doing? I was paying you back for your constant groping, you lecherous, lying pervert!"

"Paying me back?" For which time? "I beg to differ. That went way beyond equivalent remuneration, Sango. Your idea of revenge covered whatever minor wrongs I've done you and then continued growing until it put _you_ in debt to _me_."

_All right, I need something to keep her from thinking about that one too closely._ He thought quickly. _Aaah, that would be perfect._

"How do you feel about starting to work your debt off tonight, hmmm?" He thrust against her suggestively and she growled, starting to struggle again.

"There is no way you are getting to touch me tonight, monk, so don't even think about it!"

"Too late for that. I passed mere thoughts half an hour ago, thanks to your little game. I'm well into detailed fantasies, at this point." He felt himself growing larger and clenched his jaw. Stupid, disobedient prick, he thought. He was angry with her, that alone should give him more control than a 12 year old boy witnessing his first nude woman. Too bad it didn't. As usual, anger and Sango made for a happy penis.

Actually, pretty much _anything_ and Sango made for a happy penis. _Damn, talk about obsessed._

"You can just keep your hands _and _your fantasies to yourself, you ass-grabbing idiot! If you come anywhere near me, I swear I'll cut it off!" she gestured with her eyes at his groin rather pointedly.

Anger bubbled up once more as he contemplated her words and fought to hang onto his control. She really meant it? She was denying him sex? For the second time in one night, no less!

"Sango, do you even realize that I don't care about being tied up?" he asked through gritted teeth. Her squirming ceased and he took that as a 'no.'

"You were angry and wanted a little revenge, fine. I can even admire the cleverness involved. However, " his voice lowered to a growl, "using sex as some sort of punishment is….unacceptable.

"I wasn't using sex as a punishment!" Sango protested.

"Oh no? What would you call it? You put your hands on me, made certain promises you had absolutely no intention of fulfilling, and then left me there to suffer. You don't call that using sex as a tool for vengeance?"

"No! I was just angry and…and you were being such a deceitful pervert, and I wanted to- I wanted you to feel as pissed off as you made _me!_"

"You should feel proud then. You've quite definitely achieved your goal." He brought his face down again and whispered into her ear. Not being able to see his face always seemed to throw her off, and he really wanted to push his advantage right now. "Deliberately leading me on and then denying me was a very effective weapon. It was painful and frustrating and totally infuriating." He drew her earlobe slowly into his mouth and nipped at it slightly before letting go.

"So now that you have what you wanted, is it everything you were hoping for." He asked softly, nuzzling the side of her neck.

"No…" she said weakly.

"No?"

"I mean, I didn't want this." She said, shaking her head and trying to pull it away from his heated mouth. Her voice strengthened. "And I wasn't trying to lead you on, you stupid houshi. I just, I was curious, all right?"

Raising a dubious eyebrow, Miroku pulled back until he was just close enough to see her pupils dilating. "Are you certain? You weren't getting satisfaction from the fact that you're able to affect me so and then just leave me hanging?" She blushed slightly, looking away from him. "I thought so. Sango, if there is any realm in our marriage where I have a large advantage, it's this one. You _don't_ want to engage me in this manner."

He was a bit surprised he wasn't blushing. Even for as talented a liar as himself, that last falsehood was a bit of a stretch. He wasn't above planting the idea in Sango's head that he'd always win at any sexual contretemps between them. It was a pathetic fallacy on his part, but he'd cling to it for as long as he could. Because if she ever realized that the only advantage he had was experience, something she was going to be gaining rapidly if he had anything to say about it, then he was in deep trouble. His wife could turn him into a compliant, mindless idiot with just a look, after all. The moment she discovered that was going to be a dark day.

Or a really sex filled one. He could always hope, couldn't he?

As he felt her start to wriggle again, he smiled suggestively. "Thinking of some fantasies of your own, love?" she growled and stopped moving as he continued to smile. Looking down at her, he grew serious for a moment "Sango, you do understand that if your actions had been unintentional, or if you had simply changed your mind, I would have no complaints? It wouldn't have been pleasant, but it happens. What I truly cannot tolerate is the deliberation of your actions. It's cruel to make promises to a man when you know you have no intention of following through."

Now it was her turn to glare at him, which was getting a little difficult as he refused to move away more than a few inches from her face. She tried to control her breathing, achieving limited success. She was so angry at him, she hated the fact that she was starting to feel nervous and a little guilty as well. Stupid monk.

Holding her down and hovering over her, Miroku was doing a very good impression of 'looming.' It shouldn't be affecting her at all. She'd never really been impressed by the type of man who tried to encroach on her personal space that way and get in her face. Heck, even demons didn't make her feel this odd sensation of nervous worry. She had to admit, though, when a man, who just happened to be your husband, was pissed off and _naked_ and in your face, it was just a little bit intimidating, not that she'd ever let him know that.

The very fact that he'd managed to fluster her made her even angrier.

"Cruel? I know all about that. After all, you do it to me all the time." Sango bit out, seeing the surprise on his face as he processed her words.

"I do no such thing!" He sat up slightly in shock. How could she even accuse him of such a thing? He _hated_ teases. He certainly never started something without the intention, if not always the hope, of finishing. He, Miroku, had to be as far from a tease as it was physically possible to be.

"Yes, you do. What do you think you were doing the whole way here to the village? Wasn't that using sex as a weapon?"

"No! How can you even think that?"

"Well, didn't you 'put your hands on me' and leave me there to suffer, too?" she accused.

"Wha-?" Still for a moment, he smiled suddenly, leaning in until their noses almost touched, looking straight into her eyes. "You _liked_ it." He said in amazement. Sango's heart jumped into her throat as she realized what she'd just said.

"N-no I didn't!"

"You liked it." He repeated softly, still grinning, his eyes starting to twinkle for the first time since they'd entered the room. "I had no idea."

"B-but you said you could feel- You said you knew!"

Miroku shook his head, shrugging. "I lied." As her mouth dropped open, he smiled. "You think I can actually feel how wet you are through all those layers of clothes you wear? I'm flattered, but even I'm not _that_ good." Sango blushed furiously. "Now I know why you were so angry though, hmmm? I hit the peg right in the middle when I said you were hot as a little fire." He laughed again and she tried to bring down her hands to hit him.

"Stop laughing at me!"

"I'm not, Sango." He said, calming slightly. _She liked it! _"I'm laughing at us, sweetheart." He took a deep breath and to her surprise he let her go. Moving carefully off her body, he knelt down next to her and bowed his head to the floor.

"I give you my sincere apologies for what you had to suffer during the trip here. I had no intention of making you feel so unhappy and uncomfortable." The warmth of his voice soothed her frazzled senses as she sat up and watched him, his naked back shining in the candlelight. However, just as she was about to smile at his sweet apology, he went on. "Next time, I will make certain we send the others on ahead so we can relieve whatever discomfort has arisen as a result of my attentions. No matter how many times it takes, no matter how hard or soft it becomes, no matter – OW!"

Miroku rubbed his head where Sango had thumped him and looked up to see her scowling face. "Can you _not_ be a hentai for just a few minutes?" she asked, annoyed but feeling a little more at ease after his ridiculous display.

…just what he'd been hoping for.

He looked up at the ceiling as though he was thinking about her question, then turned and let his eyes run from her toes up to her face. "Do you know, where you're involved, I don't think I can." he said, and jumped her, knocking her back onto the futon.

"Miroku!"

"What?" he said from above her. "Darling, if I'm not angry or holding a grudge, a miracle in and of itself after the last hour of my life, surely you can let go of your upset as well, yes?" She stared up at him, feeling his body pressing down on hers, the now familiar heat creeping along her skin wherever he touched.

He leaned forward and kissed her, delicately tasting her lips with his tongue before sliding it deeply inside.

She could always kick his ass later, she thought vaguely as her mind started focusing on Miroku's lips and his hands as opposed to his recent actions. For now…she kissed him back. The things that man could do with his tongue.

"Miroku," she said a little breathlessly after a few minutes, "Um…there's something Kagome mentioned that I wanted to try…."

xxxxxxx

Kagome watched Inuyasha, concerned. The moment they'd stepped into the hallway to walk back to their room, he'd looked flushed. Could he be getting a fever? she wondered. As they progressed down the hall, his breathing grew slightly ragged, his steps awkward, and his hands fidgeted at the front of his hakama as though he were in pain. Maybe he ate something bad? He closed his eyes and clenched his fists for a moment, ears flattening against his head, and she fretted. What was wrong with him? Was it something…serious?

Could it be related to whatever had happened during his capture? They hadn't talked about it yet. She didn't even know why Miroku and Inuyasha had been taken. Both the men had seemed so reluctant to discuss it that she and Sango hadn't pushed. They didn't want to upset them that soon after something like that, although she was determined to pry it out of him before too much longer. Especially if he was having some sort of reaction to it.

"Inuyasha?" he turned and looked at her, face tense, "Um, are you all right?"

"I'm fine." He bit out, huffing unintelligibly under his breath.

"But you seem like you're in pain. Is something wrong?"

Growling, he whipped around and kept walking. "It's nothing. Everything's just fucking great. Abso-fucking-lutely wonderful."

She stared at his back, faltering. Oooookay. So, whatever it was, as usual he didn't want to talk about it. At times like these she really missed those beads of his, she thought on a sigh. She followed behind him, carrying Shippou in her arms as the kitsune had passed out during dinner. Hearing their door slide open with a loud thwack, she hurried to catch up, slipping inside and closing the door herself to avoid any further damage to their host's property. She laid her charge down on one of their futons before turning to find Inuyasha pacing back and forth across the room.

"Kagome, " he started to say, and then flinched as Sango suddenly screamed loudly enough for Kagome to hear her through the walls.

"Sango!" she turned and started to run towards the door until Inuyasha caught her by the waist and pulled her back. "Inuyasha, what are you doing? Let me go; Sango's in trouble!"

"No, she ain't." he muttered, holding on to her with minimal effort. Before she could say anything in response, she heard Miroku cry out as well. She slumped back against Inuyasha, flushing. That particular sound, especially combined with Sango screaming, was terribly familiar.

"They aren't…"

"Yeah, they sure as hell are."

"But…he was so furious with her!"

"And now he ain't, big fucking surprise. Told you this was all we'd have to worry about."

Kagome stood leaning against her husband, subtly aware of the hard feel of him behind her, his woodsy smell surrounding her seductively. He pulled her closer for a moment, burying his face in her hair. What was it with his seeming eternal fascination with her hair? Something hard and firm pushed against her back and the light suddenly dawned.

"You've been hearing them all this time, haven't you?" she said, thinking back to his odd behavior and, most importantly, his constant fidgeting with the front of his hakama.

He blew against her hair and sighed. "Ever since we left the damn food." He growled low in his chest, and she giggled slightly. Poor Inuyasha, how difficult it must be to have heightened senses at a time like this.

"Feeling a little…uncomfortable?" she teased, tilting her head back slightly as she reached back for his ears.

Shuddering at the feel of her hands, he growled again. "Unless you want me to take you right now in front of the damn fox, cut it out, Kagome." She laughed and drew her hand back down. Teasing Inuyasha was kind of fun.

They both stiffened as they heard a loud groan from next door. Kagome felt her face grow bright and red as she heard a feminine moan answering, and the sounds were only getting louder.

"Fucking A, not again." Inuyasha muttered, and Kagome pushed out of his arms. One moment of sounds was a little embarrassing. This…audio voyeurism was too much.

"I- I- I think I need to go use the hot springs, Inuyasha." Kagome said quickly, "I'll be back…later. A lot later."

"Not without me you won't." he said a little desperately, his ears flattening as Sango's voice rose in pitch. Tripping in their haste to gather the things they'd need for the springs, they completed the task with impressive speed, almost running as they exited the room.

Inuyasha growled as he trotted behind Kagome.

_Freakin' hentai, the both of them. I can't believe they're chasing me out of my own damn room._

Yeah, said his conscience, how terrible. Will the horror never end? We're forced to abandon the room with the kitsune to go out to the hot springs, alone, with our wife.

Inuyasha stumbled.

…_alone?_

Well, unless Kirara suddenly decides to tag along, looks like it.

_I'm going to the hot springs with Kagome, alone._

Kinda renews one's faith in the Gods, doesn't it?

_I am going to go to a place where Kagome has every intention of getting completely naked and wet, and there'll be no one around but me. _Inuyasha grinned wolfishly as he followed his wife down the hall._ If this is as great as I think it's gonna be, I swear I am naming my first born after one of those two! I LOVE that lecherous bastard!_

Back in the room, Shippou woke briefly, looking around him in a daze as he wondered what noise could have disturbed him. The only thing he could hear was some rather heavy breathing from next door, rapidly growing more regular. After a moment, he heard Miroku's voice, muffled but still audible.

"Kagome is a goddess among women, Sango. I absolutely insist that you talk with her as often as possible." Sango could be heard giggling slightly in answer.

The kitsune shook his head as he drifted back to sleep. Those two were just so weird sometimes.


	30. Ch 30 It's Not Funny, Dammit

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to inuyasha in any media, make no moula off of anything related to this, just enjoy the heck out of it.

**A/N Again, sorry, no lemons! Only at adult fan fic net. Gomen, gomen.  
**

**This is the last chapter of this particular story, but don't expect everything to be resolved. The sequel will hopefully deal with any issues that have yet to be faced, etc… Although that won't be for at least a month or more. Thank you once again for the reviews and words of encouragement throughout this whole endeavor.**

**There is another 'chapter' posted after this that is merely some thanks and a few bits on the potential sequel, but no more story!**

**Chapter 30 – It's Not Funny, Dammit**

Walking to the hot springs, his eyes focused on the swing of Kagome's skirt as she walked, Inuyasha swallowed and cursed at the same time. it was arousing as hell, but he had to admit he was…nervous. The last time she'd come to some place like this, he'd almost lost her. After that had been the stupid ninja bastards catching him unawares and almost gutting Miroku, while Kagome was left completely unprotected the whole time. He had a growing sense of dread about doing anything at the hot springs. What if something happened to her because he was too caught up in what they were doing?

When they arrived at the springs, he started scanning the area for anything dangerous. He couldn't smell anything, but he still searched, worried and on edge. There were too many places for something to hide nearby, he thought, and he started carefully peering into each one.

Oy! Yelled his conscience. Pay attention!

_I am!_

Not to that, idiot! Crap, now she's already in the water. You missed a perfectly good ogling opportunity there, dumbass. You didn't even watch her get naked!

Looking at the water to find Kagome already submerged up to her neck, Inuyasha agreed. He _was_ a dumbass. He smiled at her. She was sitting in the water and leaning back against the edge with her eyes closed, seemingly relaxed, but her scent was nervous…and maybe a bit aroused? He started undoing his suikan, tossing it to the ground in a heap. A rustle sounded in the brush next to him and he whipped around, Tessaiga already drawn to face down the tiny mouse that was scampering down its hole in terror. Fuck, he was jumpy, he grumped as he resheathed the sword. Why the hell was he so nervous? Was there really something wrong here?

It's just been a crazy couple of weeks, is all, soothed his conscience. Don't worry about it. Just get in the damn water with Kagome and you'll feel much better.

_But what if there's really something wrong. What if I'm sensing something coming?_

Naaaah. Never happen. Really. And I've got just two words for you: Naked Kagome. Explore the possibilities.

_It doesn't feel right._

He couldn't relax. He couldn't focus on his wife. He couldn't even concentrate on what he'd like to do to get rid of the hard length in his hakama. Son of a bitch. This was hopeless.

"K-Kagome?"

"mmmm?" she looked at him from half-lidded eyes.

"I'm gonna stand watch." He said quickly and jumped into the nearest tree, trying to ignore her look of surprise and…could it have been disappointment? But…shit. If he was wrong, he'd curse himself for the rest of the day tomorrow for being a paranoid idiot. But if he was right, and he _didn't_ stay focused and cautious, he might end up cursing himself for the rest of his life. So he'd stay alert, dammit. As painful as it was.

And it _was_ painful. When he wanted to be making love to his wife, he was distracted by worries of oncoming danger. Now, when he wanted to stay alert and focus on protecting Kagome, all he could think about was what he wanted to do to her. From above, even in the dark his eyes could see clear through the water, giving him a perfect view of her breasts, soft thighs wavy and blurred from the steam. He panted and drew his eyes away, determined to prevent _anything_ from getting Kagome tonight. She sighed softly under her breath, and he would swear he heard her mutter something to herself.

I believe her exact words were: stubborn, paranoid dog. His conscience provided.

_Fuck off._

After a few minutes of silence, Kagome obviously couldn't take anymore. She turned around, leaning her elbows on the ground and her face on her hands as she looked up, trying to locate him with night blind eyes. Her body floated slightly so that her bottom just broke the surface, water sluicing around the valleys there in ways he wished his hands were doing right at that moment.

"You're not going to come down?" her voice was soft and light as she spoke up at the darkness.

"I can see better up here." He said shortly, gulping as he kept his eyes moving and looking every which way but at her. Maybe just a peek…

"But it's more comfortable down here." She took her hand from under her chin a moment to rub the mossy bank slowly, patting it a moment. "Why don't you come and sit down here next to me. I'm not used to being all alone when I bathe anymore. Sango and Shippou are usually with me."

"No." he bit out, trying to ignore the enticing image of her nude body pale and vulnerable in the water beneath him. This was important! If he didn't keep watch, something might happen…

"For just a minute or two? It's a little creepy right now. . I can't see you at all Inuyasha, and this little bit of torchlight isn't that comforting. You can't come any closer? Please?'

Inuyasha bit his lip, thinking. He didn't want her to be scared or anything. Hell, she might even start crying. He supposed he could stay on the ground for a while…

He jumped down and came over, seating himself stiffly next to her, back straight as his eyes continued to search for danger, ears twitching. He sucked in his breath as she placed a damp hand on his thigh, rubbing it slightly, comforting.

"What's got you so spooked? Do you hear something?"

"Nah, it's just… I don't know." He said, frustrated. "I can't stop thinking that something bad's gonna happen. I don't know why. It just feels wrong, is all. Maybe some of those ninja assholes followed us or something." He muttered, wishing he could articulate the feeling.

"Maybe you're just tired." She smiled up at him as she drew her hand back, folding her arms in front of her and letting her chin drop into them. "You should come in and relax. We could leave Tessaiga right here next to you, couldn't we?" she coaxed.

He bit his lip again, staring at her body, shadowed more now from his shallower angle of view. It just made it more interesting. If he made sure the Tessaiga was right next to him and he didn't get too carried away… He hated that stupid hot water anyway, so it wasn't like he was going to enjoy it too much, right? He nodded and started disrobing, carefully placing his sword hilt first next to where Kagome relaxed.

_Finally_, she thought, cheering inwardly. Goodness, she'd thought he might stay away from her all night, the way he was going! She was finally starting to understand her stubborn, over-protective hanyou. Play to his wants, add a little guilt, and you could get him to do almost anything. The guilt was easy, and she had been surprised to realize that what he wanted right now was pretty easy to predict as well. Just based on their short time as a married couple, she was confident that what he would want at this point in time was _her._ She'd noticed that his eyes always glowed a little brighter when he was aroused, his face would tilt up more as though he was constantly scenting the air and he had this cute little tic he developed in his left ear when he was thinking dirty thoughts. It was a dead give away.

She'd feel guilty about exploiting her knowledge of him to get him in with her except she was getting him to do something that was in his own best interests as well. That qualified it as justifiable and necessary deceit. He needed to relax and spend some time with her after last night. _She_ needed to relax and spend some time with him! She wanted so badly to celebrate the fact that he was okay and still that solid, permanent presence in her life. Now that they were away from Shippou and the others, they could both have what they needed.

Slowly lowering himself into the scalding water, Inuyasha grimaced. He really didn't enjoy the damn springs. Water was supposed to be cold and it should know enough to stay that way, in his opinion. Although there were benefits. He looked down and to the side as he felt Kagome scoot over until she was pressed against his arm. She rested her head on his shoulder, putting both her hands around his bicep as she sighed and stretched out her legs. Watching her water slide off her body during the sinuous flexing of her muscles, he wanted to cry. It was just so fucking unfair. This was so perfect, such a wonderful opportunity to be alone with he and just enjoy themselves, and he just couldn't do it. He had to stay alert and…

I'll do it, his conscience volunteered.

_Huh?_

I'll do it. You concentrate on Kagome and I'll keep an eye out while you're…occupied.

_We're in the same body, you idiot._

Yeah, but you can't concentrate on Kagome and something else at the same time. _I_ can.

Inuyasha hesitated.

Look, your ears and your nose are gonna detect any problems before you see them, right?

_Probably._

So, I'll just pay more attention to anything we're hearing or smelling that _isn't_ Kagome. You work on hearing and smelling everything that _is_ Kagome….and tell me about it later.

_Well…_

Considering how often this gets screwed up, we need to jump on this while we can, don't we? C'mon, don't be an idiot! If you don't trust me to watch out for Kagome, it means you aren't trusting _yourself_ to watch over Kagome, and that's just stupid. Stop vacillating and go for it!

Inuyasha looked down at Kagome's head as it rested against the skin of his shoulder. She seemed to like to sit that way a lot, so he was getting pretty used to the view. Sliding his arm around her shoulders, feeling how slick and slippery her skin was, he started to smile.

_You've got a deal._

"C'mere, Kagome." He growled, and she laughed and splashed him in the face, surprising him. By the time he'd cleared his eyes, she'd pushed away to move farther into the center of the pool. She stood still, looking back at him as the warm, dark water swirled around her hips. "Kagome?"

She licked her lips uncertainly, shivering slightly in the cool air as she hesitated. The water within the circle of torchlight had already been like black ink. Now that she was nearing the edge of it, she wasn't sure that she wanted to continue. She would be blind to everything but that small beckoning illumination. With essentially no moon out, even the air around her seemed as dark and impenetrable as a solid wall, did she want to enter that? Should she go back over to Inuyasha? She shivered again and saw Inuyasha's eyes focus suddenly on her breasts at the movement, the tic in his left ear starting up. So he _did_ like this. Maybe this could be fun, kind of like blind man's bluff.

"Come and get me." She said, eyes laughing as she backed up carefully, retreating into the darkness. She couldn't see her own hands, it was so dark, so he'd have to find her by sound, she thought. She tried to be as quiet as possible, grinning at her own cleverness. This was kind of exciting.

Inuyasha watched her for a moment, confused as to why she hadn't started running if she was playing some sort of chasing game. She was going to have to move a lot faster than that or it wasn't going to be any fun at all, he thought, moving in her direction. It wasn't until he was almost on her that he realized she couldn't see him. His own eyes had to work a bit harder, but he had no problem picking out her soft body silently moving away from him in the water. Yet, she couldn't see him. Seeing how her wide brown eyes were completely unfocused as they moved in aimless patterns, he didn't think she could see anything in the darkness at all except for the torch. He smiled and quietly swam around and behind her, carefully positioning himself.

Kagome was staring at the empty sphere of life left by the torch, her eyes searching blindly for Inuyasha. Where was he? She had just about decided to head back to the edge of the pool and the safety offered by their only light when he stood up out of the water and whispered into her ear.

"Gotcha."

She squealed in surprise and tried to whip around, but he already had her, pulling her naked body against his so that their skin moved slickly against each other.

After a moment to catch her breath and let her adrenaline rush calm a moment, she grinned slightly. "It's about time." Teasing, she slid against him slightly as the water pushed at her. "So, now you've got me…what are you going to do with me?"

Eye wide for a moment as he realized she'd _wanted_ to be caught, he broke out into a huge, leering smile. "Lemme show you."

"I'd love to." She murmured, and leaned back as Inuyasha proceeded to show her _exactly_ what he'd been wanting to do to her for the last 2 hours.

xxxxxx

Once Inuyasha's 'demonstration' ended, he laid against the bank of the springs next to Kagome. His breathing finally returned to normal, he looked over to see Kagome's flushed face and he blushed. That had been a lot…quicker…than he'd intended.

"Sorry, Kagome." He said softly, leaning across the water to kiss her softly. She didn't even bother to lift her head off the bank behind her as she smiled.

"Sorry for what? For being absolutely amazing? It's all right, I forgive you."

Flushing more, he bit the inside of his lip. Was she teasing him? "It was kinda…fast, is all."

"Mmmmm..and rough too." She said, still not bothering to move.

He slumped slightly in the water. "Sorry…"

"Did I say fast and rough was a bad thing?" she asked, red creeping over her cheeks.

"No, but…isn't it?"

"Not tonight." She whispered, finally lifting her head up and looking at him. "And if it's with you…I think it'd be good no matter what." He could see the red flush actually flow down her face and across her breasts now as she blushed fiercely.

_It's good with me no matter what?_ His ego boosted up a notch.

Admittedly, he felt that way about her, he just hadn't realized she felt the same. Good no matter what, huh? He leaned towards her to kiss her again. _You thought that was good, let's see what you think when I…_

Shit, it's Kichiro! yelled his conscience, and Inuyasha's head snapped up.

He grabbed a soft and surprised Kagome by the waist and shoved her behind him into deeper water, grabbing the Tessaiga off the bank and unsheathing it in the same motion. No way that fucking cat was getting Kagome again. The only thing that cat was going to get today was a major ass whupping.

_Where! Where'd you see him?!_

Silence.

_WHERE??_

snicker.

_Where the fuck is the damned cat??_

Heh. _A pause_. Heh heh heh.

_What the hell is wrong with you?? Kagome's in trouble here, you dick! Now tell me where you saw him!_

Oh damn, but…BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I can't believe you fell for that! Did you see how high you just jumped? I thought your were going to pull something! _Echoes of manic laughter rang through inuyasha's head._

…_you're just fucking with me??!_

Damn, _more laughter bristled across Inuyasha's nerves. _That was classic.

_You useless piece of shit! And I was just about to… You rat bastard, if I ever find a way to get a hold of you, you are dead meat!! Dead as a three day old corpse, you hear me??_

Yeah, whatever. _His conscience laughed again._ But holy shit, if you could have seen your face. That was the funniest damn thing I've ever seen in my life!

_You are such a fucking dead man. I swear to the gods I am going to go find a damned spell that can suck your sorry ass out of me and then I'm gonna dismember you and feed your pieces to a horde of youkai. See how much you laugh then, you sadistic asshole. Dammit all. Fucking make me look like an idiot in front of Kagome, too._ he finished in a mutter, wincing as he looked over his shoulder to see Kagome looking naked and scared, but determined, as she stood behind him.

"What do you see, Inuyasha? What's wrong?" she whispered, her weak human eyes trying vainly to see in the darkness as her arms covered her breasts self-consciously.

"It's nothing. Just…thought I saw something, but it was nothing. Overreacted." He said, trying to leave his anger behind as he looked at her.

_Fucking son of a bitch, you EVER try that again, I swear I'll find some way to get you back, just see if I don't!_

Yeah, you could _try_.

_Dumbassed prick._

I love you, too.

_Shut up._

"C'mon, Kagome, let's get back to the others." He said gruffly, reaching back to carefully draw her forward through the water as he started scanning the tree line again. He'd been feeling all mellow and relaxed, and now he was just as tense as he'd been before, with a huge dose of 'really pissed off' on top of it. He refused to release his sword as Kagome dressed, only dropping it a moment to hurriedly put on his own clothes. She caught his tension and started looking around her as well, for all the good it did.

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" she ventured as they started back, uncertain why he was acting the way he was.

"Don't know. It just…feels wrong."

"Is it anything that we just did?' her voice was small as she asked.

"What? Oh hell no! That was…" he turned to find her so nervous she looked close to tears. "Ah, Kagome, no…it was wonderful. It's _always_ wonderful. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you or anything." He reached over and put his hand around her waist and drew her up until their bodies touched, tucking her head under his chin for a moment.

"I love you so much, Kagome." He whispered. "But we've had this, this marriage thing for so little time, and I've already almost lost you, twice! I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

"Nothing's going to happen to me." She said softly, enjoying leaning against his chest. "I'm right here and, and anything that wants to take you away from me had better be ready for a huge fight, because I will seriously kick its butt." She felt him vibrate against her.

"Yeah, I think ninja boys found that out." He chuckled. They stood for a few minutes, embracing each other gently in the dark.

"I forgot the torch." She finally said.

"Feh, get it in the morning. It's too damp to burn anything right now, anyway."

"But I can't see."

"Don't worry, I've got ya." He let go of her waist a moment to sheathe Tessaiga before scooping her up. "See? No problem."

"I guess not." She leaned against his chest, playing with a silver lock of his hair as he walked with her and rubbed his nose against the top of her head periodically.

"Good thing you were around, I guess." She finished, enjoying feeling pampered and cared for.

"Yeah." He let his body move against her as he walked and felt himself relaxing as nothing intruded on his senses but Kagome's smell and the soft sound of her breathing. "Good thing."

_Wonder what we could do tomorrow night?_ He thought.

Now that you mention it, said his conscience, I've got a few ideas that you might want to…

_Shut up, not talking to you yet!_

But I have some really good ones! We could use chocolate and cream and…

_SHUT UP!_

…or bubble bath and that pretty smelling oil she likes…

_Will you just shut up already?! I'm not gonna do anything you suggest here, asshole. . In fact, if you suggest something, I'm gonna deliberately NOT do it just for spite, hah._

But you haven't heard the best one, with silk and candles and…

_I'm not listening to this, jerk!_

…ramen!

Inuyasha stumbled and had to concentrate a moment on not falling on top of Kagome. He shook his head, trying to mentally recover. He couldn't have told himself what he thought he'd just told himself, could he?

_You thought of something sexual to do with Kagome that involves ramen??_

Yup.

Inuyasha paused. _Don't think this means you're off the hook…_

Wouldn't dream of it.

…_but I guess you could tell me about…about the ramen one. Just in case. Not that I'm interested or anything, it'll just make you shut up, right?_

Yeah, that's the spirit. Okay, so here's what I was thinking…

xxxxxx

Inuyasha woke to the sound of his door being stealthily opened. He stood and had Tessaiga at the neck of the intruder before the man made it more than a step inside. After one surprised look, however, Inuyasha snorted slightly and stepped back, sheathing his sword and blocking the invader's path.

"Lose your way, Lady Miroko?"

Sango's floral kimono wrapped around his hips, Miroku ignored the insult. "I need to find my robes, you idiot."

"Yeah, so, I ain't stoppin' ya."

"Actually, you are. Before she fell asleep, Sango said she hid them in here somewhere." Inuyasha shook his head and stepped aside.

"Feh, come in then." He watched as Miroku proceeded over to a messy pile of clothes and bedding against the wall and started searching through it. "Ya know, you should really warn a guy next time."

"Pardon?" Miroku had already dropped Sango's kimono and was quickly wrapping his fundoshi around his hips.

"Last night. Before you came charging in naked and all, you should have warned me. I thought I was gonna go blind there for a minute. Kinda like now…can't you wrap that stupid thing any faster?"

Miroku merely rolled his eyes as he started in on his robes. Inuyasha nonchalantly walked over to stand between the monk and Kagome's futon. Not that he didn't trust his friend…pretty much…but no need to put temptation in his way, either. Dressed and feeling _much_ more like himself, Miroku looked at Sango's kimono on the floor. "I'm so tempted to just leave it here and see how _she_ likes it." He murmured.

"Fine with me. I got no problem with a naked Sango storming in here to interrupt me."

With one surprised glance in his direction, Miroku frowned and snatched up the kimono immediately before retreating out the door to return to his own room.

Inuyasha chortled to himself. For once, he'd actually managed to tease Miroku about something _other_ than Sango kicking his ass. That one had worked pretty well; he'd have to remember it. Man, some days, you just knew everything was going to be great, and today was definitely one of them. Things were looking up, he thought, chuckling slightly under his breath.

…Although that might be a result of 'up' being the only direction left for him to look, considering his life seemed to be trapped in one huge, abysmal pit at the moment, he thought half an hour later. He stood and stared stoically at the wall, hands in his robes, avoiding the loud questions being tossed his way by an increasingly irritated Kagome.

"…did they want with you?"

"What did who want with him?" Sango asked, walking in with Miroku and catching the tail end of Kagome's words.

"Those men. Inuyasha _still_ won't tell me what the heck was going on with those kidnapping freaks." She gave her husband a fierce glare before turning hopefully to Sango. "Has Miroku talked about it yet?" she asked Sango as though neither male were in the room.

"No. He won't say a word." Sango looked at Miroku with the focus of a rapier and he smiled, starting to sweat. He'd managed to put her off so far, but standing up to both Kagome and Sango at the same time? It looked like his respite might be about to end. Damn.

Kagome went to stand by Sango and Miroku edged over to Inuyasha as though they were squaring off for battle. Kirara and Shippou looked at each other with equally thankful stares, happy to be on the sidelines for _this_ particular fight.

"What happened, Inuyasha." Kagome's hands settled on her hips as she stared at him impatiently. "Well?" she demanded when he stayed quiet.

Golden eyes glanced at her briefly before returning to the wall. "Nothin'." Nothing that was any of her business, anyway.

"Nothing? Then it shouldn't take long to tell me about it, should it? What did they want with you and Miroku?"

Grumbling, he continued to avoid her gaze and picked the floor as his new visual target. "Feh, it doesn't matter. It's over with, right? Why can't you just fucking drop it?"

Foot starting to tap an angry rhythm, Kagome took a deep, irritated breath. "Drop it? We tracked you down for hours, fought off dozens of men, and helped cart you out of there through the longest shortcut in the history of the world. The least you could do is give us some sort of explanation as to why we had to go to all that trouble in the first place!"

_Oh great, something new to feel guilty about_, Inuyasha thought, his ears turning away from her defensively.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay? Quit nagging me."

"I am not nagging!" Now Kagome was _really_ worried. He never avoided something this assiduously unless it was really important to him. Usually that meant something had hurt him badly, or something happened that he felt he had to protect her from. It was really starting to scare her. What happened during their capture? "What did they want with the two of you?" she demanded.

Miroku and Inuyasha shared a glance and didn't say a word.

"Well?" asked Sango, taking up where Kagome left off, her anxiety rising. "What happened, Miroku?" She looked towards her hiraikotsu in the corner briefly as she contemplated what to do.

Realizing an imminent threat when he saw one, Miroku started talking at once.

"It's nothing important, is it?" Miroku said, radiating sincerity so brightly that both women looked at him with instant suspicion. "And after all, it's done and over with. We should look onward to other concerns in our life, don't you agree?"

"Yeah, move forward and shit." Inuyasha seconded.

Kagome and Sango glared at them a moment before Kagome gestured for Sango to stay where she was as she walked over to Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha?' she asked in dulcet tones.

"Um yeah?" he asked nervously, watching her warily.

His caution proved to be completely justified when she reached up and grabbed one of his ears, yanking him down until his face was at her level. "WHY DID THEY KIIDNAP YOU?!!"

"OW! Leggo, dammit! OOOOOW! Cut it out, Kagome!"

"Not until you tell me what happened!" she gave his ear a little twist and he almost howled.

"AAAAAAH, SHIT, STOP IT! All right! All right, already, just let go of my damn ear!" she opened her hand and he immediately leapt away, rubbing his ear furiously as he glared at her. "Son of a bitch, Kagome, that HURTS! Don't DO that!"

"I wouldn't have to if you'd just talk!"

"Fucking A." he rubbed his ear again and looked over to Miroku, who pleaded silently to what the monk had to know was a lost cause. Inuyasha sighed. Miroku might be able to come up with an elaborate, and believable, lie on the spur of the moment, but that wasn't exactly Inuyasha's forte.

Yeah, said his conscience. I'm still chuckling over the whole 'skimpy clothes' thing, myself.

_You know what I'm about to say, right?_

Fine, shutting up.

"Well, you see…" Fuck, how much could he leave out and still make this work. Maybe if he just talked about…

"We're waiting." Kagome said, hands back on her hips again.

"Not very well." He muttered. Sighing as he saw her continued glaring, he tried again. "Th-they were going to…"

…_kill us? Um, for walking in their woods, maybe? Except, if they were gonna do that, why wouldn't they take Kagome and Shippou and Kirara, then? Shit. Oh, I've got it, maybe I'll say they only kill boys. Except Shippou's a boy, dammit. A big sissy mama's boy, but…_

"Inuyasha!"

He winced. Did she have any idea how that high pitched tone hurt his ears? "Oh, fuck it. The bastards were going to sacrifice us, okay?"

"Sacrifice you?" From Sango's shocked stare, he guessed that wasn't the answer she was expecting. "_Sacrifice_ you?"

"Uh, yeah. You know, slice and dice, but with woo woo crap added on."

"They were going to kill you?" Sango asked. Miroku smiled, and Inuyasha sneered at how the houshi widened his eyes and... was he pouting out his lower lip a little there? Whatever the hell he'd done to his face, it made the stupid monk looked like a hurt little boy who was hoping for a hug from his mama. And it was obviously working, because Sango walked over to Miroku to embrace him briefly.

Stupid jerk, how the hell does he do that? Did they already forget that he was just bullshitting them moments ago? Man, women were so dumb, sometimes. 

Kagome, set on immediately upsetting his mental mutterings, spoke up. "So, you were supposed to be sacrificed?"

Inuyasha nodded, already relaxing slightly now that they'd navigated successfully through the inquisition and emerged on the other side without too much damage done.

Kagome's face twisted into a frown. "So why did they just take you and Miroku and leave the rest of us there?"

Miroku and Inuyasha both froze. Shit. Stupid women, thinking too much all the time.

I thought there were dumb, taunted his conscience.

_Now's not the time! I'm trying to think here!_

Miroku, bless his twisted little brain, came to their rescue.

"They're a very ancient sect that despises women, so they only sacrifice…" he stopped talking as Sango reached up and put her hand over his mouth,

"If Inuyasha needs your help, Miroku, Kagome will ask you for it." She said softly, smiling a little at his frustrated stare, which ended immediately as his tongue edged out and began to caress the inside of her palm. She squeaked and drew it away in surprise.

"Uh…" what was the monk saying again? Inuyasha wondered frantically. Shit, he hadn't been paying attention. Kagome started her annoying foot tapping thing and he just _knew_ she was gonna try some kinda shit like pulling his ears or something again. Dammit.

"Well?"

She seemed awfully fond of that word today, he thought, feeling mutinous and annoyed.

"Well, what?"

"What's the explanation? What aren't you telling us?"

You might as well get it over with, advised his conscience.

_Hell, no! Are you insane? I am not telling Kagome that I was going to be the virgin in a damn spell!_

Yeah, I could see why that might be too difficult for you.

_It's not too difficult, it's just fucking embarrassing!_

Oh? I thought you were just too much of a chicken shit to…

_What did you say?_

I believe I called you a chicken shit. Would you prefer wimp? Coward? How about pussy?

_You…._

You're still not telling her…chicken shit.

_Yeah? Well watch this, asshole!_

"They needed sacrifices that were…." _Wait a second, did I just let me trick myself into telling them this? Dammit it all to hell!_ "uh… vrnmnm,nn."

"What was that?"

Aw shit, he was screwed. He just _had_ start talking like an idiot and now she _knew_ there was something more. Just fucking great. Now Kagome would bug the shit out him until it drove him crazy. And if that still didn't work, she'd start to cry and make him feel like crap and…son of a bitch.

Like I said, muttered his conscience, you might as well get it over with.

_Shit._

"They need sacrifices that were… virgins." He forced out, closing his eyes tightly as he said it as though that might make them all go away.

Kagome, Sango, and Shippou stared at them, Kirara's eyes widening in surprise as well. Sango stepped back from Miroku to look at Inuyasha, trying to gauge his sincerity.

"That makes no sense. If they wanted virgins, they would have tried for women." Sango said, doubting him in spite of his agonized expression.

Inuyasha's ear were flat against his head as he looked to Miroku for help. The monk folded his arms over his chest and simply glared at him. He was pretty sure that if he translated, Miroku's eyes were saying something to the effect of: I'm gonna kill you in your sleep if you say another word, you dumbass hanyou.

Too damn bad. It's not like you're doing a whole lot better with the explanations, asshole, Inuyasha thought grumpily.

"Uh…um…shit. They needed adults who hadn't slept with a 'man,' all right? There, happy now?" He humphed and turned away from them, stuffing his arms in his sleeves.

Shippou spoke first. It would be Shippou, wouldn't it, thought Inuyasha, annoyed. "You guys were going to be SACRIFICIAL VIRGINS?" Both the men flinched.

Kagome and Sango looked at each other, biting their lips. Shippou skipped the pause and went straight to laughing his tail off . When even Kirara was snorting slightly, Sango and Kagome started to chuckle.

And giggle, and laugh, and guffaw. They can stop any freakin' time now, Inuyasha grumbled angrily, watching them lean on each other.

"Sacrificial virgins, oh Gods, never in a million years would I have guessed that one." Kagome wiped tears from her eyes.

Inuyasha and Miroku turned to look at each other, both red in the face and completely irritated.

"It's not that funny." They both said, causing more gales of laughter. Inuyasha wanted to go over and pound Shippou until he felt better, but he was so embarrassed by the whole fucking thing, by the fact that _Kagome_ was laughing at him, that he just turned around again, heading for the door.

"Feh, I'm fucking leaving. You can come have breakfast when you're all back to normal."

"I believe I'll leave as well until you've regained your sanity." Miroku said, holding onto his dignity. After they left there was a brief pause, then Shippou's voice snorted out 'virgins!" and the laughter started all over again.

Miroku scowled at Inuyasha as they walked down the hall. "Remind me to teach you how to craft a believable lie, Inuyasha."

"Hey, don't blame me! You're the idiot who goes around attracting hentai psychos and all. Frankly, I bet the only reason they kidnapped us in the first place was because that asshole Renjiro saw _you_! "

"Be quiet, Inuyasha."

"Yeah? Make me." Miroku's staff caught him in the back of the knees and swept his legs out from under him. "Hey! Fuckin' cheat, I wasn't looking!"

Miroku grinned and jumped out of the way of Inuyasha's fist as it snapped out.

"Hold still, idiot, and fight like a man."

"I am." Miroku said, and popped Inuyasha in the stomach with his staff just as he managed to stand, knocking the air out of him. "All's fair in war." He sang out as he ran out of the building, followed by a sword wielding Inuyasha.

20 minutes later they both lay in the grass on the outskirts of the village. Sweaty, dirty, and sporting numerous fresh bruises and welts, the two men grinned up at the sky like idiots.

"Ha," Inuyasha panted, "I'd like to see a sacrificial virgin do _that_." He inhaled deeply, masculinity once again secure.

"Nicely put." Miroku murmured, feeling a bit ridiculous that sparring would restore his wounded pride so quickly. Ah well, I guess men really are shallow creatures at times, he thought.

"C'mon, we better get back or Shippou will eat all the good stuff." Inuyasha said, bounding up suddenly and yanking Miroku off the ground. Nodding, resigned at facing their friends once again. the houshi followed him back towards the center of the village, ignoring the stares that followed their disheveled forms as they walked.

The rest of the group had already started to eat before they arrived, although everyone was polite enough not to question their extended absence and kept all laughter down to muffled snorts and giggles. Which was still quite irritating, thought Miroku, but quiet enough that he could reasonably pretend not to hear it, at least. Thank the Gods for small favors.

Ready to lash out at the slightest overt mockery from Shippou, Inuyasha was surprised to find himself gradually calming at the familiar scent of the people and food surrounding him. It had been a while since he'd been able to sit and not worry about hunting down someone, or keep from getting himself or his friends killed. He felt very odd without that associated edge to his thoughts. Made him feel rather sleepy, come to think of it.

He closed his eyes a moment, inhaling slightly. Every person's smell was drifting over, mingling with the others in the air and wrapping around him like an invisible, comforting blanket. Sitting there, eyes closed, he concentrated. The evidence of their presence fit into some little niche in his soul, filling up the empty places until he actually felt…whole. With his own personal scent now permanently embedded in Kagome since they'd become mates, he felt better than whole, actually. He felt…happy.

Weird.

His mind wandered as he opened his eyes to absently shove food into his mouth. So…what were they going to do now? A hell of a lot had changed in just the past couple of weeks. Had it really been that short a time? It felt like months. He and Kagome hadn't really talked about the future yet, now that they were mates. There never really seemed like a convenient time to do it.

And _discussing_ things was always annoying anyway. It's not like it changed anything, did it? You figured out what you wanted to do, you did it, and that's it, end of story. _He_ didn't have a problem with that, unlike some long-winded monks he could name who seemed overly fond of planning.

Not that he didn't plan, too. He planned! He just didn't feel the need to complicate his plans unnecessarily like all the people around him. Just a few goals to remind himself of what needed to be done, and that was good enough.

Goal 1: Kill Naraku

Goal 2: Kill Kichiro

Goal 3: Kill Sesshoumaru

Goal 4: Collect all the Shards of the Shikon Jewel.

Goal 5: Protect Kagome

And his newest goal that he felt should be added in at random times during the day.

Goal 6: Have sex with Kagome.

Of course, now that he and Miroku were traveling with their women, not just their friends, maybe he should readjust some of those. After all, he was already worried that the Sex Goal was making the Protect Kagome Goal a lot more difficult. Hell, even _thinking_ about the Sex Goal made _everything_ more difficult. He was pretty sure there'd be some other new worries along the way that would be affecting what he needed to do.

Obviously, they still had to deal with Naraku. That was a given. He really hoped the bastardized hanyou didn't find out about their new relationship, however, or it could be even more trouble than usual. Almost as scary to contemplate was informing Kagome's mother of their new relationship once they went back to the future. And where were they going to live? He needed a home if he had a mate…he was pretty sure Kagome wouldn't be too happy sharing Kaede's hut the rest of their lives.

Another thought occurred to him and his mouth dried up. What if he got Kagome pregnant? He stared at Kagome, inhaling quickly. She still smelled the same as she had a few days ago, right? He was pretty sure… But what if… Hell, what if Miroku got Sango pregnant? What would happen to their search for the shards and their lives then? They couldn't exactly fight off demons with two breeding females to protect. That wasn't even considering how their enemies would react to finding yet another way to get to them.

But, children… If they had children, they'd need a _big_ house, wouldn't they? Kagome was always looking after stupid little Shippou too, would she want him to live with them? And would that jackass Sesshoumaru come after his child as well as himself, if he discovered it? Shit.

Okay, revised goals.

Goal 1: Protect Kagome from all the assholes around, like that Kichiro fucker who he was still going to have to kill but who was rapidly falling off the list of goals 'cause more than 5 was already too many for one person, anyway.

Goal 2: Kill Naraku pretty damn quick, like tomorrow. Maybe the day after at the latest

Goal 3: Kill Sesshoumaru pretty damn quick, too. And that creepy little kappa that always hung around him. And break the tenseiga so no one, like an overly-compassionate miko who always seemed to feel sorry for the most worthless assholes on the planet, ever brought their sorry asses back.

Goal 4: Oh yeah, protect Kagome from her own stupidity as she helped out all the worthless assholes on the planet who took advantage of her and made her feel sorry for them and then tried to kill her, or worse, take her as their mate.

Ha, too late for that now, bastards! Already mated. Take that!

Goal 5: Build a Big Fucking House….near a hot springs. And with lots of ramen storage, and kitsune repellant, and the biggest damn futon in the whole freakin' world.

Goal 6: Tell Kagome's mom about their marriage and make sure to make it clear that it just kinda happened and wasn't in any way entirely his fault or anything.

Goal 7: Have sex with Kagome…but don't get her pregnant until Naraku was dead. Which might be possible, maybe…did they have future crap to deal with that sort of thing? Fuck it, that goal should be simpler…

New Goal 7: Have sex with Kagome, a lot. There, that was better, although come to think of it, there was one thing…

New New Goal 7: Have sex with Kagome a whole hell of a lot. MUCH more than Miroku and Sango, as there was no way that hentai was gonna get more sex than him because he was a freaking hanyou after all and his stamina had got to be twice what Miroku's was, so…so there.

Goal…what number was he on again?: Oh yeah, collect the damn shards. Crap.

Damn, that was a lot of stuff to think about. His head hurt.

He stepped away from his internal musings a moment to watch everyone as they ate. Kagome sat next to him, reaching over to rub a soothing hand along his leg even as she chatted with Sango. Miroku was watching his wife with a mixture of lust and impatience, completely missing the fact that Shippou was stealing the houshi's food right out from under his nose. Kirara merely ate daintily from a bit of fish Kagome had put down for her.

He felt himself start to smile.

What's up? Asked his conscience. It feels…different.

_Just thinking about shit. _

Oh. So…you feeling happy or something?

_I think I actually do._

Weird.

_Yeah, ain't it? It doesn't really seem real, yet, ya know?_

Yeah. _His conscience paused a moment before continuing. _I'll only say this once, so don't expect to hear it again, but - good job marrying Kagome. Even with all the times you've screwed up, it's been…really great so far. I think this might, just maybe and if we're really lucky, work out.

_Yeah._

Kagome looked up at him and smiled before returning to her food, her cheeks rosy as she kept her hand on his leg. All thoughts of the future and other potential worries were swept to the corners of his mind as he watched her and smiled again. He thought of the night to come, the oh-so-interesting ramen extravaganza that his inner self had devised, and his fangs shone briefly behind his grin.

_This is gonna be fun._

The End


	31. Bibliography, and update Dec07

12/07 Updated info.

For those who are looking for more of my stories, most of them aren't here at – yeah, I'm a little too NC-17, LOL.

Under TwistedHilarity, you can find my other stories at adultfanfiction dot net and yaoi.y-gallery.

If anyone is interested in finding other stuff of mine, and can't, feel free to email me: my email address is listed on my bio.

Now, back to what this originally was...

**The Null Chapter.**

So, why the heck is this 'chapter' here at all?

1. To thank all the lovely people who've reviewed.

2. To let you know that there will be a sequel.

3. Just some fun random research/author trivia I picked up along the way that fellow writers might enjoy, if they don't know them already.

In other words, the following is just random stuff.

THANK YOU'S

Tons of thank you's to everyone who reviewed! Thanks for the words of praise and general warm fluffiness: that definitely kept me going when I was feeling kinda down and wanted to stop. Thanks for the words of complaint and critique: a few major points were brought up that I was able to change, along with some major research on a couple of items that wouldn't have happened without your input. The story definitely improved as a result. So, again, thank you for taking the time to let me know what you thought about the fic! I was hoping to thank you all by name, but there were so many of you!! If I take the time to write ya'll down, I won't have the time to post this, heh.

Seriously, thank you so, so much. It is solely because of you that this went from a small oneshot to…what, the oneshot that ate Chicago? Oncshot-zilla? Whatever it morphed into, I blame ya'll, heh. Thanks.

SEQUEL:

The sequel has been started, but does not have more than a few chapters at the moment. The title is: This is Gonna be a Pain in the Ass, and it's up at adultfanfiction dot net.

I should probably mention that for me, the laughs, the dialogue, and the relationships between the characters are what I've been concentrating on the most. Kinda of a way for me to get through writer's block in other non-fanfic stories, ya know? So, I'm having fun with it and not taking it too seriously, which means the plot is likely to be random and silly and often really weird, heh. Another time we'll try to actually have plot that's, well, actually 'plott-ish,' but it's not likely to happen to the sequel any more than it happened here! Sorry for those that this disappoints!

Anyways, thoughts bopping around in my head that need to be explored in the upcoming sequel:

1. Kagome's time and the marriage are a cornucopia of potential bizarre comedy. Her mom, her granpa, her brother, her friends, Hojo, etc… Lots of fun.

2. Kagome has not yet found out that they're mates. Married, yes. Mates? Nope. Still have to do that, yessirreee-bob.

3. Sesshoumaru

4. Naraku

5. Sango hasn't been kidnapped, by anyone. She's feeling kinda left out. Can't have that!

6. Two words: Ramen Lemon

7. And of course, resolution of the two couple's relationships. Can everyone grow enough to overcome whatever personal issues they have that are causing problems in their love lives? (oh c'mon, you know the answer is yes! Like I could write something sad? Pshaw. But…it's the getting to the 'yes' that's the fun part, eh?)

CHAPTER NOTES

Random bits of information and notes, just for fun. Any research information is accurate to the best of my knowledge, but then again, I'm no expert!

OC NAME MEANINGS:

While it obviously depends on the kanji, these are the meanings I had in mind

Kichiro- Lucky Son

Emi (Kichiro's late wife)- Blessed with beauty

Hisao (immortal lord dude)– Long-lived man

Renjiro (pervert ninja guy)– Virtuous – hey, I live for irony.

ALL LEMONS: I have discovered, to my surprise, that I cannot write a lemon without theme music. And not just any theme music, it has to be the same damn song played over and over again until I'm done writing and my ears start to bleed. I'm sure my family is appreciative of the invention of headphones. So, what songs ended up as the theme songs for the two couples in this story, this time around?

Sexyback by Justin Timberlake – you just know that goes with Miroku.

Every time we touch by Cascada – it's kinda boppy and silly and cheesy and sweet, which worked for me this time, I guess, when thinking of Inuyasha

Ch. 9 & 10

('The Best Laid Plans of Foxes and Men' and 'I am So Screwed')

Monkshood and Wolf's Bane: yup, it really is called by both names, and it really is a purple (or white) flower, and deadly as all get out. I know it can be found in China, and I don't _believe_ it is found in Japan, but I wouldn't swear to that. Now as to whether wolf youkai are actually allergic to it…you'll have to ask one next time you meet him, yes?

Ch. 11

('It's all your Fault, you Know')

Auspicious days for marriage: In modern Japan, days that are determined to be the most auspicious for that year are extremely popular for weddings. So much so that it can be extremely difficult to have the wedding on that day without major advance planning. I doubt if this was the case in Feudal Japan, but I used it anyway.

Monks and Marriages: Currently, unlike the Chinese, Taiwanese, and Vietnamese traditions, Buddhist monks in the Japanese tradition can marry. (info. From forum archives)

Ch. 12

('The Mental Meanderings of a Married Man')

Soapberry pulp: the soapberry pulp Inuyasha grabs from Miroku's things is from something called Chinese Soapberry. Two sources listed the Japanese name for this plant as Mukuroji, although neither source was 100 sure of the name. It is found in Japan as well as Mainland China.

Ch. 15

('I Need to Get Angry More Often')

Divorce in Feudal Japan: Yes, there was divorce in Feudal Japan (Bet you thought I was just making it up, eh?). How easy it was to get and whether or not the woman could initiate it changed depending on the time period and class. A peasant women _could_ initiate divorce during some periods of Feudal Japan, so I'm just using that for the story, although I believe it's actually more relevant for a century or so earlier than the Warring States Era.

Ch. 20

('The Cat's Revenge')

Inu no Taishou: I found it interesting that Inuyasha's father has never been named, either in manga or anime. He's always referred to as either 'Inuyasha's father' or as 'Inu no Taishou,' which means "Dog Leader" or "Leader of Dog's." Makes it a lot tougher to write about him, eh?

Ch. 22

('Strength Alone')

Miroku's fascination with Sango's neck: after I wrote the scene, I found out that the nape of the neck actually _is_ currently considered really sexy in Japan, and was still thought of that way during periods of the Feudal era. Who knew?

Ch. 25

('Sacrificial What?')

Shinobi shozoko – traditional ninja duds. Since they _were_ just on a night mission to kidnap the boys, I put them in the 'night mission' black. Not making that up. All cliché aside, that was actually done! White was for missions in the snow, a kind of greenish camouflage was also common for missions that required that type of coloring. As well as dressing up as anything from a peasant to a monk, if the occasion called for it. And yeah, ninjas really were known to use darts as well, coated with various substances.

Why are Inuyasha and Miroku stripped to their fundoshi's? – If I could get away with it, they'd be naked every chapter, ha. Seriously, though, the fundoshi has a long history in Japan, and is often used as clothing during certain, traditional ceremonies. So, I figure I could get away with it and still have a 'reason' for them to be stripped down, too!

Ch. 26

('Now We're in Trouble')

The goop in their mouths – no, not real, just made that up. But, there are many herbal medicines that can be absorbed quickly through the mucus membranes, including a few sedatives and pain killers. And I can personally attest to the fact that a couple of these sedatives/pain killers really _do_ taste absolutely disgusting and bitter.

The eggs – ninjas are known to have kept pepper and other irritants in fragile containers such as hollowed out eggshells, so they would break apart on impact. Usually they would be used when in a fight where there was a need to either run away or to put some combatants out of commission until you dealt with the others. They could also sometimes have metal filings mixed in that could permanently blind an opponent, but I like Inuyasha and Miroku too much to do that to them!

(from entertheninja dot com)

The ninja's chains used on Inuyasha – a ninja weapon called the Manriki Gusari was a chain that had a heavy weight on both ends. While sometimes used to entangle an opponents arms, legs, or weapons, it could also be swung around and used as a whip, the ends causing a pretty fair amount of damage. It likely wouldn't have been spun in circles, but we're taking a little author leeway, heh.

Ch. 28

('Revenge is a Dish Best Served Naked')

Miroku was gagged, how the heck can he undo the ties on his wrists with his teeth? – With great difficulty. Seriously, though, as long as the gag is something slim, like an obi, it's possible. Trust me, I tried it out! It's a pain in the butt, but possible.

Ch. 30

(It's Not Funny, Dammit)

Inuyasha calling Miroku, Lady Miroko – just using the fact that –ko is a very common female name ending for Japanese names. I don't know of any meanings other than that, so if anyone else does, please let me know!

xxxxxx

Okay, shhhhh…I'm as big a liar as Miroku is sometimes. Kinda like the hidden stuff in the games, there's one last thing at the bottom here. So, for all you dedicated people who actually read all the way down, here's a short scene from somewhere in the sequel as a little thank you.;-)

This is Gonna Be a Pain in the Ass: scene preview

…As soon as they sat down, both Kagome and Sango were surprised to receive a hug and a heartfelt 'thank you' from their friend's husband. Unaware of their counterpart's actions, the two men stood up from their brief, platonic embrace to notice each other. They both frowned and stepped closer.

"What did you just do to my wife?"

Shippou smirked. "Is there an echo in here?"

"_I_ was just thanking her for…" Both mouths closed in mid-sentence as they stared at each other. Miroku's eyebrow asked a question. Inuyasha's broad grin answered it, and they both began to beam at each other like little boys with a juicy secret.

Kagome and Sango exchanged a long, irritated glance. "They're doing it again, aren't they." Sango said, annoyed.

"Yeah." The women watched them, growing steadily more annoyed as Miroku and Inuyasha continued to stand and radiate smugness.

"I think we're going to have to do something about this." Sango said after a while.

"Oh yeah."

"Would you care to go first?"

"Oh no, Sango, please, be my guest."

"I couldn't possibly."

"Together, then." Nodding as they both stood up, they approached their respective husbands and stood directly behind them.

WHAP.

"OW!"

Miroku and Inuyasha's heads snapped forward, only to stop abruptly as they smacked into each other's foreheads.

"OW!!"

Two pained, surprised males turned around, holding hands to their abused heads, to see their wives behind them looking satisfied.

"What'd ya do that for?" "What in the world was the purpose of that?"

"Guess." Came the response, as the two girls turned together and left the room.

Looking back at each other, still rubbing their heads, Miroku and Inuyasha couldn't help but start to grin again…….


End file.
